BlackDude

Maybe I’m crazy, but can you tell if a guy has a big dick? Is this some kind of instinct?
 

I think there is just a certain swag or confidence a guy has where I think “yeah he’s got a big dick.” Usually I’m right.

12 hours ago, bbinbpark said:

That's the one I have a problem with. My favorite is when I message them at a different time to see if they're free, they respond a week later as though I just messaged them. None of us want to stare at the screen all day, but really, a week later?

This is why you never make a nurse a fuck buddy. Their job is the ultimate excuse and they can never coordinate unless it’s on their time. There forever working yet somehow on Grindr perpetually. 

1 hour ago, Close2MyBro said:

You got some really bad advice. Sorry you had to go thru that.

Some of it was an exaggeration. Some of it was real. It was meant to covey a sentiment that “sex was hard, calculated and difficult” 

3 hours ago, Close2MyBro said:

Who told you all this crap?

Gen X-ers

Most of us Gen Xers were lied to. I know I was

I was told all the action was “online now”

I was told you had to have chemistry with a guy before fucking

I was told I had to look like an underwear model

Personally, I was told I should settle for being the “black friend”

I was told being A-Sexual was a thing

I was told I should wait til a guy was past his prime 

I was told I should suppress my sexual desires to make straight people comfortable. 

I was told friends don’t fuck

I was laughed at for cruising 

I was told Treasure Island was fantasy 

I was told _____ guys just don’t like black men

I was told by mediocre guys i should be Greatful for their presence 

Then this summer came. And I seen you young men were friendly. And most importantly fucking. Out in the open, raw, uninhibited. Big, short, tall, fat, fit and all. No chit chat. No games. No oral only.” No “saving it for later.” No pretend girlfriend at home. Just raw breeding. You know what you want and you go for it. Shamelessly. 

You’ve reassured me everything I thought was true is. And I’ve had a blast doing it. Thank You.
 

3 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

I think in a lot of cases the cock blockers are the guys that want and need the attention that comes from the chase. Even here on BZ there are threads and replies that say they love the chase, but really don't care as much about the actual sex act itself. The cock blockers in most cases are guys that either never connect and complete the act or only do so as a last resort to keep the other cruisers attention. I know it quite often feels like they get off on preventing the rest of us from actually connecting and completing the act, but I can at least hope that isn't their actual intent.

The other problem is that on the rare occasions they do actually connect and try to complete the act, is that they are so inhibited that don't learn how great the act feels, which only reinforces their emphasis on the chase.

I enjoy the chase. I love cruising, the mystery, The Who’s doing what.

But I’m not letting cock blockers off the hook. I really believe it’s as simple as:

A. I’m not fucking and I feel bad about it, so your not going to fuck either. 
 

B. I hate ______ so I don’t want them fucking.

Take The Rock for an instance. I’ve seen a guy sit in the cruising area with a large cup of coffee, with the full intent of letting people know there would be no fucking today. I’ve seen guys keep their high beams on the wooded areas, to shine light on and discourage cruisers. I’ve seen guys at the bar filibuster, while keeping an eye on you to make sure you’re not fucking. 
 

7 hours ago, NudistBBBLK said:

From personal experience as a black men, most AMERICAN white men are NOT into black men. They will not outwardly say it but reality is that most American white men prefer other white men or white Latinos. Hearing, “not into black” is something  I am very used to hearing as I’ve been hearing it for 20 years. It’s now at a point it doesn’t affect me. I will admit that in my 20s that shit hurt like hell as I couldn’t understand it. I am attractive, in great shape, laid back, nice guy but all that didn’t matter when it came to white men for dating or fucking. It’s a big reason why for years I stopped dating white men. 

I will say however this is a predominately American thing. I lived in the Europe for 3 years and that afforded me opportunity to travel throughout west Europe and the issue of race and sex and dating rarely came up over there. European men generally don’t care and depending where you are, it’s almost a bonus (good and bad). 
 

My partner is white and there is a stark difference between my journey when it comes to sex with men and his. Despite the fact that we are both good looking men and in great shape, he has it far easier than I when it comes to hook up. He can log online and find a top easily while it may take me a few hours. We have gone to organized group  parties together and he is able to maneuver the space easily while for me it’s a bit more challenging.   We do have a rule that we no loner log online as a couple looking for 3rd or more as often we receive message that they aren’t into black guys. We now organize 3rd or 4way amongst tops we know mutually that are down for the fun.

In a nutshell for gay men of color, gay white spaces are generally not for us or welcoming to us. It requires thick skin on our part to not take things personally, which is easier said than done. 
 

i know for my Asian friends, it’s even worse 

 

Preach. I’d say it’s about 40/60 leading toward white guys who don’t like black men. It’s cool, I wish they’d just have the balls to say it. Although, I found out the more mediocre the guy, the more he hates black men. They think their whiteness alone is currency. And it’s validated everyday by gays. 
 

I agree, Most white European guys are fucking from my experience. 

They only thing I would dispute is POC. I don’t include black people in that because blacks people are the only people who can’t  be classified as white.
They can go back and forth, we cant. 
 

Latino men are about 25/25/50. 25% will fuck you, 25% will fuck you until there is a white gut available, and the other half are white or white-Latino exclusively. Problem is some black guys are so desperate for some “exotic sex” they’ll do anything including lie about their experiences. 

I have NEVER been with an Asian man, not been approached by one. I don’t even see them with each other.  They seem to be exclusively into white men   
 

As a black man, you find very quickly this “accepting” community is no better, probably worse when it comes to race. They gay community is 50-60 years behind. 
 

I’ve also had successful/good looking white men tell me that the whole whorship thing is a turnoff. They want a regular guy with confidence who is real, not some guy begging for validation or acceptance. That’s my two cents though. 

I have to more to add:

The politician: This guy goes around and tries to convince people as he can to not fuck you. He usually has really low self-esteem or a strong political or racial viewpoint. He doesn’t like______ and he will convince other guys why they should like____ either. This can also roll over into handcuffing or the Chatter Box, As his main intention is to see you not fuck.

The Damper- This is they guy who shows up with a bad or elitist attitude. He usually has some dour look on his face, with the main intent decreasing the sexual energy. He may actually watched you have sex or fool around, but he will never engage. He will keep his towel on, stay clothed at sex parties; or roan the trails eternally. He hast to show you that he is just above it all, and his intent is to kill the mood for everyone else. 

1 hour ago, Sharp-edge said:

I'm sooo confused with this term. I'm a little stubborn maybe. I believe that u can either be gay or str8, I don't believe in bi, str8 curious etc. However there are cases that trouble me.

It's about two people that I know. They're both males and they work in the same hospital as I. I don't really know them just their names and a few things more than that. Oddly, as I was eating  my lunch (at work) I overheard two colleagues "arguing" whether these two guys are gay or  not (which was also rude because they didnt know me well I could be a friend of them, whatever). But from what I heard the "bromance thing" showed up in my mind and I would just like your opinion about that.

These guys are 30 plus, one is neurosurgeon and the other is a family doctor. These guys live together. They had gf from time to time but they live together for almost a decade and no plans of getting married. I know for a fact that he's also cooking for him because I've heard him saying to someone that the other guy doest like that so he is not cooking. Everyone is considering them as  "one" they  would invite both of them somewhere. It may sound weird but on the one hand they don't care if people talks (so someone could say that they're ot of thecloset) but on the other hand I don't believe they're gay. I feel  a bit confused. It's none of my business, I'm mostly curious whether such a relationship can be a bromance and if it happens  between str8 men. 

No. I believe 99% of “bisexual” men are making the calculation between if a guys hot enough and is it worth the “risk.” Straight men don’t really want to hang out with other men 24/7 like that, if only strictly for appearance sake. If you don’t care what a woman thinks then….

These men are more that likely gay.

1 hour ago, NWUSHorny said:

We have all of those types in great numbers here in the PNW. My least favorite is "message guy" that knows at least "1001 ways to have sex where no one even has to touch anyone else's icky dick." After 15 years of hearing them from numerous men I'm out of there before they can finish describing the 1st way. Like "the handcuffer" what he really wants is someone to hang out with. I've really pissed a few "handcuffers" off when they had sex with me before I realized that was their intent. Hanging out is not in the implied contract for hookup sex.

I just had an experience with “message guy” a few weeks ago. This you get cute white jock comes to the cruising spot and we start talking. Message guy comes up and asks “am Interrupting?”  I said not at all. So message guy whisks him away. Jock guy asked if i wanted to come along, I politely declined.

After about 30 minutes. Message guys is still doing his thing. Jock guys has this “save me” look in his eyes, so I go over, and jock starts to give me head. I rub his ass and head that whimpering every top loves to hear.
 

Long story short, it turns into a full on orgy with message guy standing there to the side with his cock in his pants about to explode. He still to prideful to participate, and he’s full of anger, but it’s so hot, he has to watch. Here we are doing whatever to this hottie and he’s sitting there with his hard dick in pants on some “I’m too hot for this” attitude. The whole thing was hilarious. 

53 minutes ago, Daddyslut4use said:

I had an interesting experience at Midtowne Spa in LA this week. I’m the 2nd floor darkroom/GH room with benches and a mattress. Hot guy walking around clothed. Wouldn’t let anyone get close. I spend time getting him to allow me to touch him, first in clothes, then he drops pants and I go to town sucking

Guys who had ignored him start to gather and it soon becomes apparent that he has a really nice cock.   I shift us over to the mattress and he begins to raw fuck me. All of a sudden, a much younger bottom sits  down next to me on the mattress and starts feeling my top’s cock in my ass and rubbing his balls. Next, he’s making out with the top while the guy is still breeding me

Couple minutes later, pretty boy flops down next to me ass up and guess what?  My guy pulls out and starts fucking the other guy. I was so pissed, I wanted to slap the guy. 

Does this qualify as cock blocking?  Or elder abuse, lol?

Damn. Discourteous for sure, I would t necessarily call that cock blocking.

You got to kinda expect group sex at a spa/sauna. Sometimes we lose out, happens to everyone. 
 

This post is not meant to be negative. Only to share my experiences and help navigate through the BS and get to the action. It’s summer time, and people got fun on their mind!

As a note, please have no sympathy for cock blockers. These guys are not naive. 99% know exactly what they’re doing, and their actions are coming from a place of vitriol, insecurity and arrogance. If you see any of the activities below, don’t waste you time. Move onto the next trick, as they have the particular art on cock blocking down to a science. 
 

 The Handcuffer- This is the guy  may or may not have fucked. But then he will follow the trick around or monitor him an intercede in any additional action 

The Chatter Box-This is the guy who will run their mouth endlessly in hopes of wearing the trick down and running out the clock. Since they know they probably aren’t fucking, to most of these guys, talking is like fucking. So waiting and hoping they will shut-up is a time waster.

The Stooge-This is the guy who is jealous of his better looking friend, and will do everything in his power to stop him from fucking. He figures one of two things: either he can’t fuck his friend so why should you, or he’s just miserable with his lack of sex, and he wants company in his misery.

The Former INCEL-This is they guy who couldn’t get a woman, now he finally found one girl who will fuck him. He now thinks he’s alpha as fuck, and that includes stopping gays from fucking and any other gay hating activity.

Women-In straight society, women control access to sex. Unfortunately, some women think that control trickles over into gay men, and they want to interfere and control gay mens access to sex too. 

The Rock-This is the guy who will set up shop in the prime cruising spot or in front of the bar. He’ may be fucking, but his main intention is to prevent other guys he doesn’t deem as worthy from fucking. 
 

Message Guy-His whole goal is to get the guy relaxed, and out of the mood for sex. Then he thinks he’s going to rush him away for some private time alone all by himself. 

If your not fucking (or showing dick) I don’t care.

7 hours ago, viking8x6 said:

No, nobody does.

And this is why we still have to fight for equality.

That won’t change people hearts and minds. Only legal requirements. 

I think I’m in the minority here (but that’s usual). Guys who want to fuck, fuck (if that’s what you want). Men who want to fuck don’t turn down sex with guys half their age. 

Yes, there are truly some guys who are conflicted. Unfortunately, or fortunately, honestly is always the best policy. When you’re not upfront, you waste time.

In the gay experience, you’ll have many guys who will pretend to not fuck. They’ll have every excuse in the book to keep you on the hook for whatever reason without actually having to do anything. Alot of times, it’s to keep you in orbit To gratify their personal ego because their partner is not for filling them at home. Don’t let that be your problem. 

You are young, and you need to use that to your advantage. Decide what you want. If he doesn’t like it, move on. 
 

Don’t sacrifice your wants to fulfill someone else’s ego. There will be plenty of time for that. Your young, be selfish 

I can honestly say I’ve never bottomed. I told a guy I would once but as soon as he pressed the tip, I backed out. I don’t ever see myself being able to bottom. I don’t even like getting rimmed.
 

Even in porn, I like clear roles. Once a guy bottoms, I can’t really watch him as a top unless it’s a quick breed pump and dump situation. 
 

Maybe I’m just the odd ball. 

I’m starting to log in less and less to that site. I’m hearing more stories like this, plus as it grows, we get more guys looking for that “magical experience.” 
 

They know a lot of guys on there value  anonymity and they take full advantage. aWouldn't surprise me at all if the ended up selling peoples credit card info. 

3 hours ago, BareLover666 said:

It's hard and sometimes impossible to really get what another man or group of people have gone through, or their struggles. But I feel that there is something to be said for using analogies for exactly that reason. 

If it works and helps to convince people to support equal rights and opportunities that's a good result.

Using others for your benefit is abuse at a minimum. And I could argue using the struggle of others to ecomincally benefit  and gain resources for another group is a form slavery.

People have gotten so use to using black people to further their agenda, they have now become entitled and even cavalier about it. When reality our experience is unique and their is no other experience comparable. 

I preferred older daddy types my 20’s. Still do. 

Why all the vitriol toward Thomas? 

The gay  tops are here. We’re waiting for the bottoms to stop chasing “straight” married guys. 

Okay I’m going to say it: This post is about standards. 

I haven’t read each post in this thread but I’ve read a few. And I’m not surprised at what I see. As a black person, and to a lesser extent other non black people, we have a standard placed upon us. And we have be to be honest, the standard people have sexually for white guys is almost non-existent until they hit about 55.

Some of the people in this thread are so shocked and offended that others would actually have a standard placed on them. They are just so used to their whiteness being the standard and getting where they want they can’t fathom a world where they are told they will be rejected sexually. And you have a group of guys who will say “yes, I don’t care what happens, as long as you’re white, I’ll fuck you”. (See the post about Q-Anon). 

Join the club, for the rest of us it’s not “just about sex.” We get asked millions of questions that have nothing to do with sex.

To me, this is just checking to say “hey, all that matters is your white still right?” And seeing if people are still on code with that.

I believe this post got the reaction that was intended. 
 

On 6/14/2022 at 8:05 AM, TheSRQDude said:

At the same media sources that squelched the Hunter Biden laptop story before the '20 election, and the NY Post was among the only outlets to cover the details, all the while Twitter and most social media squelched the story or locked any account that would mention it. 15 months later? NYT goes, "Oh, yeah, whoops, that story WAS true." We talk about making tougher gun laws, yet Biden's son literally lied on a firearms application to purchase a firearm. So rules for thee and not for me? Please. The media largely swings to the left, so does social media, and 86% of journalists identify as "liberal". I'm glad that works well for you now. 

As for the January 6th hearings, watch them if you like. I'm disappointed that we've turned the country into a Congressional Kangaroo court for what's largely been a show trial, produced by a former ABC News producer, and harping on Trump nearly 1.5 years after he's left office. He's gone, move along, you're all in office now so do something other than bleating on about the prior 4 years. I've switched it all off because it's so lopsided and we've seen the movie. "Cheetoh-man bad." We get it. 

Sure, we can talk about one demonstration on January 6th. But can we also talk about the nationwide riots that the media covered as "peaceful protests" that cost around 50+ people their lives and caused over $2B in property damage and why nothing was ever done about that? Or why BLM gets a pass on its use of 'charitable funds' to buy and flip real estate?

I don’t get the logic that says the media should cover the dealing of a private charity over the dealings of the president of the United States (Trump, Clinton, etc. equally). Because even if you believed that to be true, that $2M-$3M stolen by those black immigrants pales in comparison to 80% of the Red Cross “administrative costs.”

I also don’t get the logic why the loss is private property should get equal coverage of a “demonstration” that resulted in the breach of our nations capital.
 

You have black panthers who have been in jail since the 70s for even talking to a foreign government, but these “demonstrators” are getting slaps on the wrist (with little coverage).
 

I also seen little coverage of the assassination attempt of the governor of Michigan. 

On 6/12/2022 at 7:36 AM, tallslenderguy said:

Great thread BlackDude, thanks for starting it.

There's been a lot of discussion on this site about "flakes," and this discussion is reminiscent of that phenomenon to me. i suspect there are lots of reasons that all seem to coalesce into a group of guys who either will or won't fuck? 

i thought of another group of guys who won't fuck that i don't think has been mentioned, and that's the ED group. i've seen more than a few guys at theaters/abs/sex clubs/saunas who are eternally jacking, but never seem to get hard, or hard enough to penetrate.

 i've encountered a guy from Squirt who has contacted me for years telling me he wants to fuck and breed me, i also see him cruising the local ABS online and in person expressing the same desires. i hooked with him a few times years ago, and he never actually fucked me. He tried, made a big show of it, but never got hard enough to penetrate.  The first time it happened, i just excused it to nerves because his energy and intent seemed so real and sincere. But the same thing happened the second time... and third (lol, i hate to give up on any guy who wants to fuck). Turns out, this guy is in denial. What gave it away was him contacting me wanting to hook and saying what a great time he had before. It seems this guy is doing the best he can, and his version of "fucking."  i feel for him, but stopped hooking with him because it was really frustrating to experience him trying to penetrate the whole time, yet never getting there. 

i'm guessing there is a group of guys out there who want to fuck, but for various reasons whether psychological or physiological, cannot perform. The need and desire is there, they just can't do it, so they end up doing a form or fantasy fuck that doesn't fit the standard version. 

Interesting perspective as a bottom. I was more think of guys who are able to fuck but won’t. But I guess as a bottom The reasons don’t matter!