I can do both. If I am in a public sex venue--it's likely to be more about fucking. A lot of fucking. But I have been known to stop my whoring and settle down with the "right" man in that type of venue and play with him the rest of the night because somehow we connected.
If a guy is in my playroom, it's more likely about exploring the connection. I can't imagine the two/three hour sessions I do without it. I love repeats with men for building on that growth.
There are men who need to be treated as objects. Fine. I can do that, too. And some, I would guess, who do it as a defense from having been hurt in the past...