Candlewood

Still doing this? If I show up to use you will you accept my penis?

I don't know exactly how local to Jacksonville this is, but I do know that if you're low income, you can get a waiver down here and they'll cover the whole cost of it. It's viewed as a public health investment, because everybody that doesn't seroconvert is a lower liability to the health system in the long run. Look for an LGBT resource center in the city you end up in, and they'll have information on where to go. There are usually clinics that sorta just specialize in getting you access to things like that.

I'm a 27 year old male living in the NY Metro area. I'm a little stocky, still long and thick, neg, pissing out two holes because my PA upset my ex-fiance's hole when I fucked him and upset his throat worse. I'm socially a little awkward, but I've learned to mimic enough that I seem alright to most that listen. I've graduated a few students, so far. I've cultivated the interest and dependence of submissive boys, and I've lost them. I've looked back on my care of them with regret and self-judgment. I've tried to address the knowledge of my past mistakes by forgiving myself, and second-guessing whether I learned enough not to be a liability to those I'd rather help. I'm neg, and not chasing. I'm jealous of poz guys. I want to be a dad--but I can't unless I accept that the DNA I'm contributing is mixed with some donor, not my partner. I got hot as fuck thinking I may have infected an old friend with herpes. I've grown up as a kid with a family that lived in the city they grew up in, and that's how big the world was. I forced myself out of home and grew into the country. I've now found myself in NYC seeing the world unfolded before me, between nations--expanding everything I knew into an even bigger place than I have been before. I've done my best to be close to big brothers and daddies, and I outgrow them . . . arrogant as that may seem. I'm as eager to find 'the next daddy' to lead me up as I am to be cut down by somebody who understands why I haven't outgrown my daddy in the slightest--why I'm arrogantly disregarding his advice because it suits me. I cast my eyes with cautious reverence to RawTop, and I just think a lot about how this is a place where I should be expressing these kind of thoughts. </ purple_prose>

Top lion here. Rubber is for shirts, not dongs. ;3

Heheh, glad you're keeping your hole seeded . . . tell us more!

People are right that it can be a little difficult to introduce a third, but it's worked successfully for me and my boys. First, years ago I met Thomas and we spend a long time together, tried a third and it didn't work, and then Chris came into the picture, and things were good for awhile--but my relationship with Thomas was crap, and eventually we broke up. I had my eye on a boy I'd started to know, and I brought him home to live with us, and now the three of us are quite happy. In our case, part of what made it work is that I'm the dominant of the house (they call me 'King Lion' ;3), and the choice was mine to make nearly exclusively. So, that made some things easier, and by choosing carefully and taking time to make sure Chris could meet him, and spend time with him, and then the two of us could talk alone in between, we found it to be comfortable. I think that, if there are needs to be met that aren't, then being the guy 'cruising' for the newer partner, on your own, can be a big part of finding the right man. The foundation of trust there rests on your partner and you both knowing that, if somebody comes around that you like but they don't fit in the group, that you'll walk away. In my experience, I've found that leaving the door open, as it were, is the most important thing in keeping a relationship fresh, honest and up-front. When somebody finds leaving unimaginable, they may do any number of things to keep things 'normal', to keep things stable--but when leaving is just as easy as can be, then telling the truth and letting worries or problems come to the surface right away becomes the only sensible thing to do, and it makes you a stronger couple for it. I wouldn't give up just yet . . . but my focal point is, whether you do or don't, the desire to have a third can stand just on its own and that's ok.

I remember, once, I was reading the description of a porn vid when I was fifteen or sixteen, and they described one of the stars' dicks as, "The kind of foreskin you could lose your tongue in for hours." I was enchanted, and I would fantasize about any kind of warm, slick place I could put my tongue to lick dick . . . the sheaths on dogs, uncut guys, you name it! These days, my favorite way to make an uncut guy squirm is to use my teeth to gently hold his skin forward so I can stuff my tongue deep down inside and share that tasty cocksheath with his dick . . .

"I honestly don't know what I'm going to do" . . . yeah you do, buddy. ;3 And you'll find plenty of guys here who know the feeling. I understand the fear of it because I'm a lifestyle dominant, and my boys have similar hesitations sometimes when they realize how much they crave being in pain (only the right kinds, of course...) and helpless and vulnerable. And certainly, it's dangerous--my boys could end up submitting to some guy who drugs them up and does things that can't be undone, and taking raw dick all the time has its consequences too. My advice is just not to let go of your fear. People will tell you to try to extinguish it, and to overcome it, but I'll tell you this instead: Be brave. And to pull a quote from Game of Thrones, one might ask, "Can a man really be brave if he's afraid?" and the reply is, "That's the ONLY time he can be." Be brave. Dicks are great, but no dick can ever really give you the pleasure that comes from fear and lust fighting over control of you so hard you think they'll rip you to pieces . . .

Yeah . . . we exist. ;3

It can work. Check my other posts, there's a thread about this around here somewhere.

Well, here's how we do it. I'm the 'Leader of the Pride', so to speak. I initially was in a relationship with my younger husband (let's call him Tom), and we tried to introduce a 3rd on the west coast who we went to live with. After a year or so, it wasn't working out--both of them wanted me, but they couldn't really stand each other. I ended up getting a good job on the east coast, and Tom and I moved out here. Around that time, though, I had been catching up with somebody I've been in love with for years and years and years (since I was maybe 13 or 14), and we'd just never been able to make things work out because we just couldn't get ourselves in the same place. Let's call him Jake. Well, since it was my decision to make, I talked with Tom about how he felt and what he thought of Jake, and we agreed that Jake should move in. So, I sent him a few hundred bucks, and he loaded up his car and drove himself and all his worldly possessions over! That was about a year ago. The three of us have been living together since. Tom and I fuck the most, and we're pretty open about what we do--we don't fuck around with people the others don't know about, even though it's sort of our own business who we stick it in. Tom and Jake don't keep jobs, and I pay for all our household expenses and for anything else they like, so I don't tolerate anybody questioning my decisions--I do who I want, when I want, where I want, with as much protection (or not) as I want. I don't take advantage of that a whole lot, but sometimes I do. Basically each of them is in love with me and they've learned to love each other as a consequence. We still have problems, just like any other relationship--if you think being poly is going to make things easier, or harder for that matter, think again. It's just exchanging one set of problems for another. The only real question is whether it will make you more happy when things are going smooth. And what can I say--two tight holes that need my cum and don't mind lining up side by side to take it? Worth it! And let me tell ya, it's a beautiful thing. This apartment's the 'Man Zone'. It's been over a year since anything with a vag set foot in this place, clothes come off at the door, and it's routine for Jake to walk in and find Tom and I on the couch, Tom's dick in his hand and his head in my lap while videos of guys fucking dogs play on the big-screen, and after the loads are blown we click it right back over to Call of Duty and keep fighting. Boys will be boys...

Lion here!

Congrats on coming through strong . . . :3