A question for sex addicts

[eurotopnyc]

Living in NYC, I've encountered my share of gay sex addicts. In a city where getting cock is as easy as getting a cup of coffee, cock really does become the focal point for some, especially slutty bottoms. I've encountered guys who spend every weekend with their apartment door ajar, blindfolded and anonymously taking cock after cock after cock. Which is all fine, of course - I love slut bottoms, and I'm not complaining. But I've been curious about how sex addicts themselves feel about the lifestyle - is giving up control and giving in to your deepest compulsions something you feel OK about, or are there times when you feel that your career, your health and even your happiness have been sacrificed on the altar of cock and cum? Curious to hear your perspectives.

[evilqueerpig]

Being a true 50/50 vers, I might not be qualified to speak as an expert, but slutty bottoms aren't giving up control, if anything they're embracing their hunger for cock and cum, living life on their own terms.

[Pig Bottom]

I saw part of a show about this recently. A true sex addict is always thinking about sex, has sex every day, and it interferes with their daily lives. I'm glad I'm not a sex addict. Any addiction is bad.

[einathens]

if you're a true addict, you don't think about it or feel anything from it. you just do it because you can't not do it. if you're just superhorny, i hope you at least enjoy it.

[AlwaysOpen]

I do it for the contact-- in a town of billions of bottoms, and the bulk of all the guys here are already partnered, i am on the hunt for a guy who wants to fuck just for the endorphine rush I get from being used-- and if by chance there is some sign of appreciation, maybe a little conversation- hell, thats a cherry on top of the sundae. Maybe the 20 year old are doing it because it is all a new experience for them-- for me pushing the door open to 56 very soon, I crave man contact and if this is the way I have to get it, then fuck me thats how i WILL GET IT, when I can get it. I don't expect love- i know who is fucking me- married/partnered/cheating guys or guys afraid of commitment . But for the 5 minutes or 2 hours , i am connected

[Belfast-Bottom]

I think evilqueerpig says it well. I'm "embracing my hunger for cock and cum, living life on my own terms". I'm pursuing happiness, not sacrificing it. If bareback sex and being a non discriminating cumdump gives me a better high than drugs, in my view it's a worth risk taking. I am risking my health, but then HIV treatments are improving all the time. I tested neg a few months ago. I get regular sexual health checks and I take antibiotics several times a year for sinus problems. I'm confident that the large doses of antibiotics also knock out most STIs. I am taking a risk, but then how many guys reading this, smoke, drink to excess, or take party drugs adulterated with God knows what?

I'm not the "door open, blindfolded in my bedroom" type of cumdump ( unless I have a friend to provide security ). The "door open, blindfolded" cumdump risks robbery and worse. I'm lucky that Belfast has two busy gay saunas and Dublin has two busy gay saunas too. I don't need to have random guys visit my home.

[breedmeup]

I think evilqueerpig says it well. I'm "embracing my hunger for cock and cum, living life on my own terms". I'm pursuing happiness, not sacrificing it. If bareback sex and being a non discriminating cumdump gives me a better high than drugs, in my view it's a worth risk taking. I am risking my health, but then HIV treatments are improving all the time. I tested neg a few months ago. I get regular sexual health checks and I take antibiotics several times a year for sinus problems. I'm confident that the large doses of antibiotics also knock out most STIs. I am taking a risk, but then how many guys reading this, smoke, drink to excess, or take party drugs adulterated with God knows what?

I'm not the "door open, blindfolded in my bedroom" type of cumdump ( unless I have a friend to provide security ). The "door open, blindfolded" cumdump risks robbery and worse. I'm lucky that Belfast has two busy gay saunas and Dublin has two busy gay saunas too. I don't need to have random guys visit my home.

I agree it is pursuing happiness. If being a cumdump is what makes me happy why not? There are risks in everything life, money,jobs, driving a car and relationships. If we never did anything risky life would be very boring. For me its that I dont feel comfortable without taking cum. I can go without it but feel more complete and comfortable with it.

[Guest MightyMouth]

I'm the type of guy who has let it interfere with my life before. Now I am in control but some years back I would spend hours at the ABS sucking cock and cock and getting fucked. Sometimes I'd be late for work hoping to get one more dick in before I had to be somewhere. I know how easy it would be for me to go back to those habits so I've learned to be the master of my desire instead of letting it master me.

[hornyfather]

I've been told by others that I had a sex addiction. Not sure I believed them since it hasn't affected my work or my home life. I just love sex and fucking one or two times a day with multiple partners is just part of my sex life. I think the lying that I have to do as a married man in order to get the sex I want is one reason why others have pointed it out to me. That and the fact I fuck new guys all the time and don't stick to a few regulars. I just think they don't have the same sex drive as me so it seems excessive to them.

[youngslut]

my "real life" and career always come first. I'm a submissive slut when it comes to sex but when it comes to my career I'm ruthless and will do anything to defend my interests. The rough sex is a good distraction from that.

[fuckboy20]

I have jeopardized my job and health for sex before. Does that make me a sex addict?

On the final day of my internship I had to stay late. Immediately after to celebrate I went to a sex club for the first time ever and stayed til it closed and when I went home I passed out. I woke up feeling so fucking sick from lack of sleep, lack of food, and working all the day and staying up all night. I had to go back to bed and sleep another day to feel better. For a time though me and a guy did go out almost every night to the sex clubs and stay out late. Sometimes it was going to the sex clubs quite early and I'd have to drive his ass home and I would get home when the sun came up. I can remember countless times driving and almost falling asleep behind the wheel or trying to not get lost on the way home.

I'd stay out so late sometimes I felt sick when I got home because of denying my body sleep. I think the worst was when I went to a party and was bored with the stuff downstairs so I hung out with straight guys upstairs. I did 2 "small" bongs and took 5 full glasses of jagerbomb. I just wanted to fit in with the straight guys. It's not a hard thing to do but the acceptance feels good. Of course, then I get horny and I started bending over the pool table almost begging for cock and the guy was trying to resist because he was straight. Then we pass out together and somewhere in between I suck him until he passes out and I pass out. The energy drink and the alcohol mixed made my body feel like I required less sleep. So the first thing I did was leave early in the morning and desperately look on craigslists or location apps for dick. I found dick but did not get fucked just gave someone a blow job. But afterwards the bong hits and the alcohol from the night before hit me. I felt like shit driving home and had to stop on the side of the road to throw up. I threw up for about 5 minutes. I was so scared because I am not using to puking and was almost begging someone to help me. Needless to say when I get home I passed out. So sleep deprivation is obviously my weakness.

But every time after going to the sex clubs and getting fucked once or twice I want more. It's as if I need more. I fight the urge to just drop my pants in the middle of the place and bend over and scream fuck me. I fight the urge at certain bars not to drop to my knees in the troff and say "SIRS USE ME AS YOUR URINAL OR USE MY MOUTH AS A CUNT SIRS!" There is such a deep natural pig bottom slut nature that resides in me that would probably take cock from anyone, fingers, toys, pain, and things I can't even imagine. But mostly cock. The other night driving home I tried so hard to find dick after I got bred but I was broke so it was something that could not be accomplished.

I was fucking calling a sex chat line while driving on the way home and jacking off my hard cock in the car (I wore very low cut and loose shorts that night) and when I passed a trucker I almost tried to pull the shorts all the way down so the truckers could see my ass and cock and I could display to them "hot horny, hungry, fuck boy needing to be bred by truckers" but they were driving too fast.

Maybe I was born in the wrong decade. I watched that gay sex in the 70's thing and know many personal stories about it. Sex leaving your house, walking down the street, warehouses, trucks, bushes, movie theaters. Some guys having "at least" 7 guys a night. That must have been so liberating and so free. But as strange as it seems it's almost ass if HIV was a balancer to control or suppress the sex. It doesn't make sense "why" a suppressor would be needed and that's really an unexplained answer. But that goes into other areas as well.

Now I have been seriously thinking of escorting on the side. I have a hot fucking ass and a big dick. I have a natural submissive side and still have a curious mind and eagerness to learn and please that excites some men. It bores some and they would just want to fuck me like a rag doll with no word, personality, or a bit of humanity showing. Don't think I will ever be that type of bottom. I am low in funds right now and it really sucks that I can't make more money right now and can't go to school because it will take a while to save that much money.

I don't quite know how escorting works so I was thinking of trying it more like a part time thing first. The question is though what happens if it becomes full time? Will sex become just boring or a job or chore to me? Will I lose some of my natural submission and nature because it will be just doing something to do it with no real purpose or motivation except for returning clients and good pay. It could potentially destroy my dream and path of leather and finding that leather Sir or DOM for me one day. It might also completely erase my quest to learn all about leather, community, and how to help it, restore it, change it, or expose it. But I really am in a bind right now. Trying it for a while could fullfil some of the sex addict type personality I have too.

I guess the biggest question is how much sex would it take to fill me. I wonder even if I had a huge gang bang, a hundred loads, dicks, butts, pits, faces, toys, piss, leather, rope, scenes, and so forth. What if all the sex in the world never fills that hole (so to speak..) what kind of person would that make me? That's why it's pointless to really pursue a true sex addict lifestyle right now. But at the same time I jack off 10 times a day sometimes and much more on weekends. I have gone hours jacking off many days this week. I have to do something to fulfill my sexual desires and needs right now. In all honesty barebacking might just be a niche or a temporary phase right now too.

Currently trying to find regulars over hooking up every night and sex clubs like I did when I was younger. Don't want to go back to doing that. Plus gas and everything...

[hungry_hole]

I constantly think of sex but I don't think of myself as a sex addict. I jerk-off at least twice a day, some days up to 5 times. I simply think of myself as someone who enjoys sex. An addiction would have to interfere with my daily lfe and job.

I've left the door of my apartment unlocked and had a couple oif guys come in and fucked me. I'd had a private gloryhole and I had sucked and got fucked by guys whom I've never seen or could recognize.

I think that we men can be nasty pigs without affecting other aspects of life, with the exception of health. Women can't afford to be sluts without loosing their reputation.

...[in the 70's Sex] must have been so liberating and so free. But as strange as it seems it's almost ass if HIV was a balancer to control or suppress the sex. It doesn't make sense "why" a suppressor would be needed and that's really an unexplained answer. But that goes into other areas as well.

Some religious leaders use this line of thought but I think that it's more a matter of statistics and also circumstancial. Men who have sex with men are free to explore sex in a more "masculine" way without the many restrictions imposed by women. There's no one there to set limits on the number of partners one can have. Men in the 70's had so much sex with so many partners that it made it easy for the virus to spread. What would have sex between men be without HIV?

Sex between men is mostly recreational and without other purpose than to have fun. Sex for most men is not for the persue of relationships or for making babies, or for showing that you love someone. Nothing of that. Sex for liberated men is like a sport where the purpose is to have fun together with other men.

[fuckboy20]

I constantly think of sex but I don't think of myself as a sex addict. I jerk-off at least twice a day, some days up to 5 times. I simply think of myself as someone who enjoys sex. An addiction would have to interfere with my daily lfe and job.

I've left the door of my apartment unlocked and had a couple oif guys come in and fucked me. I'd had a private gloryhole and I had sucked and got fucked by guys whom I've never seen or could recognize.

I think that we men can be nasty pigs without affecting other aspects of life, with the exception of health. Women can't afford to be sluts without loosing their reputation.

Some religious leaders use this line of thought but I think that it's more a matter of statistics and also circumstancial. Men who have sex with men are free to explore sex in a more "masculine" way without the many restrictions imposed by women. There's no one there to set limits on the number of partners one can have. Men in the 70's had so much sex with so many partners that it made it easy for the virus to spread. What would have sex between men be without HIV?

Sex between men is mostly recreational and without other purpose than to have fun. Sex for most men is not for the persue of relationships or for making babies, or for showing that you love someone. Nothing of that. Sex for liberated men is like a sport where the purpose is to have fun together with other men.

I know some religious leaders will use terms like that but that's more like "God hates fags" or "god invented HIV to kill gays". The train of thought I had was more like "nothing good ever lasts forever". You are right though that it probably really is just statistics. At the same time though I wonder if those who had sex so much were some of the ones who ended up getting HIV verses those who did not have it as much. It probably really is just all coincidental and either good luck or bad luck. It's just interesting to think about sometimes I guess.

I understand that men having sex explore it in a more masculine and free way too. They don't have to worry about getting the bitch pregnant, having to marry the person he breeds, or any strings you could say. Like you said just for fun, for being horny, or just to be around the other guy. The only thing men have to worry about with free and liberated masculine sex is the diseases.

[SpunkJunkyPissHound]

My periods of sexual compulsion tend to be cyclical.

In times of great stress and anxiety, I lose my sex drive, and those times when I am at my most productive, both personally and professionally, I need extreme amounts of reproductive juices coursing through my veins.

In the 10 year I worked in Amsterdam, I got laid a total of 6 mediocre times. Now that I am coming up on 700 day in LA, I have easily consumed that many load of male DNA. Certainly, not one load a day, although there is my post workout protein shake I get in the sauna of the straight gym I go to ( married men and college boys seem fascinated by my cock sucker tattoos). When I get a weekend a way and take a break from the three jobs needed to survive in this post-Bush economy, I enjoy a good, old fashioned Boner Binge in Palm Springs, San Francisco or Las Vegas. If I don't get three loads to every one I give, then I'm just not paying close enough attention.

I know it is completely the opposite for some people. Sex is all they have, or Sex is a pain killer for a half lived life.

But please, do not assume that just because I am a balls to the wall cum-junkie, that my life is wasted.

Time is short, precious and meaningful, and I am going to milk every minute I can get of it, with every orifice and gland that I've got!

Edited May 6, 2012 by SpunkJunkyPissHound

[welshlad]

I'm addicted to sex and I hate myself for it. It doesnt make me feel in control at all. Quite the opposite! But when Im going through a particularly horny stage, I love it. I tend to plan ahead as I love the build up. Arranging anon fucks, ordering fresh poppers, shaving my ass. Then on the day I will douche and start taking load after load. Am never satisfied. I have even spent hours in local toilets waiting for any cock. Even drunks and tramps. When there is no more cock to be had I will shit out all the cum and use it to wank off to bb porn. Then I feel dreadful. Really really shit, to the point of wanting to commit suicide. This, I think, is because I have a boyfriend who loves me deeply. I love him too and weve been together 15 years. But my addiction takes over. All. The. Time. I loathe it and I love it.