Advice for a 21 year old top who's considering a few things?

[Top4CumSwop]

I am a poz undetectable bottom in London. I am a fit 44yr old. I have found that I love younger tops breeding my hole. I am always open about my status. Find that more and more younger guys have been coming on to me when I am out drinking. Always make it clear that I am a bottom. Younger guys fuck like the Duracell bunny...hard and fast...love it!!!

[NiceHard1]

Hey Phoenix.

I'm impressed by your well thought consideration of your sexuality in your posting. I'm convinced that whatever you decide will be the right decision for yourself. What's right for others may not be the same thing that is right for you.

It sounds like your struggle is in balancing your desire to be the sexual person that you are, with wanting to stay HIV negative, and also increase the pool of hot guys to be with, knowing that many of us are HIV poz

I think it is entirely possible to have both: to be highly sexual and to have a harm reduction strategy to stay HIV negative. Given that you wish to top is reducing most of the risk right there. Some guys are very comfortable topping poz guys knowing that there is less risk from being a top. Though again, what is right for others is not necessarily right for you.

I do challenge you to look at your strategy if it is currently to only fuck guys who say that they are negative. As I think you know, and others have pointed out, poz or negative is not so black and white. Yes, there is no HIV risk from a true negative guy, but within the pool of guys who identify as negative are guys who are recently poz and don't know it. Also a guy who recently converts will have an initially very high viral load right after conversion - which gives the greatest chance of transmission, until his viral load either comes down on its own, or he discovers his status and then starts meds. If you wish to continue fucking "negative" guys, you may want to ask a few more questions, such as how often do they get tested, and how often do they take loads from unknown status guys.

The known quantity (poz, undetectable) may be a lower risk than the unknown quantity (possibly neg/possibly poz with a high viral load).

So while It is your choice of what you are comfortable with, you may want to consider that fucking poz, undetectable guys may really be a great harm reduction strategy, and may ironically reduce your risk over fucking only neg guys.

Edited October 2, 2012 by NiceHard1

[NiceHard1]

... lots of those poz bottoms are AMAZING in bed

Tx - thanks so much for your kind words and plug for poz guys!

[chipygmalion80]

The post above about your healthcare situation is dead on. There is a *always* the risk of infection and disease progression if left untreated ... unless you are one of the few, lucky Scandinavian viral controllers. If you are being risky then you should be aware of current treatment modalities and community services available to while you are young and not (really) working. My university clinic was there to treat mono, not HIV. In addition to the services available, a HIV+ college student in the USA would be putting their parent's health insurance policy (or your personal one if you can afford it) under a burden that was not originally expected. The insurance dilemma obviously goes away if you studied in Canada or somewhere but here it would raise red flags.

So just consider your situation. Everyone is different.

[youngtopsd1]

The post above about your healthcare situation is dead on. There is a *always* the risk of infection and disease progression if left untreated ... unless you are one of the few, lucky Scandinavian viral controllers. If you are being risky then you should be aware of current treatment modalities and community services available to while you are young and not (really) working. My university clinic was there to treat mono, not HIV. In addition to the services available, a HIV+ college student in the USA would be putting their parent's health insurance policy (or your personal one if you can afford it) under a burden that was not originally expected. The insurance dilemma obviously goes away if you studied in Canada or somewhere but here it would raise red flags.

So just consider your situation. Everyone is different.

Of course there is always a risk of infection and disease progression- I never discounted that. Obviously if this decision were as easy as thinking about drinking a glass of water, I would have made it a long time ago. But it was a question that came up time and again over the past 6-8 months, and I did put a lot of serious thought into it, and doing research online. So rest assured, I'm not like a lot of others my age, who would simply not think about anything and fuck without abandon. I don't hook up very often anyways given my hosting and transportation situation (I'm by no means ugly, have been told I'm handsome and I'm very happy with the size of my dick, so that's not a reason why I don't hook up often) and schoolwork.

I agree though, everyone's situation is unique; therefore, everyone should think for themselves. I'll consider all of the (good) points you had brought up, as well as others' points.

[youngtopsd1]

Howdy, i can relate alot... im 23 years old and I started barebacking alot in college. I think i was around 22 when i started breeding undetectable poz guys. There is just hardly any chance for a top to get anything and lots of those poz bottoms are AMAZING in bed

Well, would love to hear about your experiences as a young top like me because almost everyone else I've seen on adam4adam (for "anything goes") or on BBRTS around my age in my area are all bottoms or versatile/bottoms. I think I'm the only sole young top here, except for a few others who don't message back. Also want to hear how you came to that when you were around 22. Got any testimonials? lol

[BlindRawFucker]

Hi Phoenix,

As an older blind guy who had no experience when I was young, I'd be more than happy to have you top me. I think it would be a great experience to have a young guy fuck me and enjoy me as many times as he could.

In whatever you decide, good luck.

[tepegodf]

My two cents for what it is worth.

1. What do you really want out of the life? Truly. As you said you consider yourself bi, then; if you want to be a father with children of your own, then your decision would be one way. If you want to be like me a man whore that is ruled by sex, that is a different route.

2. I am a top who fucked a lot of men. I am hiv positive. How did I get it, doctor said I probably got it at the same time I got syphilis. Just become someone is on meds for HIV, does not mean that they don't have other diseases. Hep C is a bigger killer now than HIV.

The choice is yours. I am 49, and I will say I have slowed down my sex life in recent years, mainly because I live in a rural locations and I do not want to ruin anyone's life with hiv and having to take the fucking medication.

So whatever you decide, good or bad with the outcomes, only you have yourself to thank or to blame.

Good luck and I wish you well on your decision.

[bearbarebttm]

I'm an older bottom who just loves younger tops....the younger the better (legal that is).