Is it just me.... ????

[neg4poz]

I live in what is considered the second largest "gay" city in the US - we have a very active community - it has a lot of mature gay men - but all ages are very well represented - but heres the thing - I never see some hot butch YOUNG guy - all the YOUNG guys seem to be these nelly little queens - call them twinks if you want - but they all have their gay little outfits - and talk and run around like little girls...

sometimes I think maybe we worked to hard - that the new gay generation never went through the school of hard knocks - and they have no idea what it is to be a MAN- just little prissy queens who have no idea what it means to man up - is our future headed toward the loss of masculinity represented in our community - have we gone to far to open the doors of acceptance that boys blossom into flowers instead of men?

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

queens have always been part of us. most will grow out of it.

[bbjoca]

Oh man, that's not just in the US!!! Same thing almost everywhere! Oh, oh, and "no sex please" on their profiles!!!

[einathens]

it is generational. if you're older, your concept of masculininty was formed almost entirely by the culturally dominant heterosexist model, that manly = top = stoic = superior and that effeminate = bottom = flambouyant = inferior.

for younger guys, the idea seems to be that if you have a penis, you're a man, and how you express that is up to you.

[Pig Bottom]

Many colors in the homo rainbow.

[whiteslutbttm]

I think it depends on where you grew up. I am in my middle/late 20s, but if you think I was spared the "school of hard knocks" gay guys faced when you were younger, you are very much mistaken.

I grew up in the Bible Belt.

As a teenager (from 8th grade until I finished high-school), I was harassed at school by students AND faculty (faculty was actually worse to me than most of the students ever were). I had more than one teacher openly talk about hating "fags", even talk about how fags should all be killed, with NOTHING ever being done about it. I was afraid to go to the bathroom in highschool, because members of the football team had threatened to beat the shit out of me, and implied they would rape me for being gay (I don't get how that makes any sense, but I believe they would have made good on the threat if they ever had an opportunity, as two of them tried to corner me in a bathroom stall one time) and I knew the faculty would do NOTHING to help me (or even try to make ME look like the villain). I heard rumors that a gay student had been murdered by the football team a few years before I moved to the town, and that the local cops (and a football coach) had made it look like an accidental death to protect the murderers and the gay kid's mom moved away afterwards because she couldn't take living in the town anymore; I know the cops and football coaches covered up other crimes for the football players (drug busts, drunk driving, a few sexual assaults, etc) when I was in highschool, so I don't doubt the story. At my first job (at 16), I heard my boss talk about not hiring a girl because she "looked like a dyke" (and I believe it is still 100% legal for employers to discriminate on that basis in that state). I literally had a guy try to hit me with his car (his main reason for hating me was that I was gay), and he never faced consequences even though witnesses saw the attempt. I had another redneck pull on a knife on me (not for being gay, but I think he thought I was a "sissy" and couldn't handle myself because I was gay; if I was straight I don't think he would have done it). I've had people spit in my face, call me all sorts of names, and threaten me so many times I can't remember all of it. As a young teen, I worried about my parents finding out; I figured my Dad would probably beat me to death, or my mother would send me to a "Reparative Therapy" center to have me given shocks or tortured or lobotomized or castrated to try to "fix" me. As icing on the cake, I even had a stupid asshole threaten to kill my family's dogs because he hated gay people.

All this, when I wasn't even out yet. I just didn't show a serious interest in girls. I knew if I actually came out, I would have been murdered, like Matthew Shepard.

All this shit was going on (roughly) around 1999-2005. If you think this shit is ancient history, that you're the last generation who went through it, you need to wake up. Gays growing up in Blue States or big cities might not face this shit, but growing up is STILL a nightmare in a LOT of places here in the USA.

[not_sure_bb]

Its a sign of the times sadly. This whole country is too damn soft.

[drscorpio]

It may just be the fact that swishy boys come out first. They can't really hide who they are. The butch young guys may still be passing for straight; they don't have to be part of the scene because Grindr and A4A and the like give them a way to hook up anonymously.

[evilqueerpig]

I'd have to say it's a generational thing and definitely not regional. I came out in 1977 and back then, guys like Al Parker and Richard Locke were the guys we emulated. I'm not in Ft. Lauderdale proper, but what you say about the younger generation is absolutely true. One of the reasons I moved from NY was to get away from the Chelsea clones. Truth be told, I prefer men closer to my age.

[pipesmokin'manfucker]

Could it be mean-spirited to dismiss and diss the effiminate and "flighty" gay men? They're just as gay as I am - and that's pretty dam gay. But if you told me, "Act like a nelly queen or I'll blow your brains out" I'd have to say, "Pull the trigger now - I can't do it."

But under certain social circumstances I've watched some of them "sissy boys" fuck the living be-jeesus outta hirsute ultra-macho heavily-tattooed men twice their age. More daddies semi-secretly appreciate that than they'd let on.

One of my fuck buddies was astonished when I shared with him my opinion that one could make a case for bottoms being in some ways more masculine than us tops.

Anyway - like a bumper sticker says, "Celebrate diversity!" It don't do us no good to low-rate each other, especially for stuff a man can't change. I'd like people to accept me as I am, so maybe it's MY job to accept all other men they way THEY are. I'm just sayin'...that's my 2 cents.

[ronetbus]

I'd like people to accept me as I am' date=' so maybe it's MY job to accept all other men they way THEY are. I'm just sayin'...that's my 2 cents.[/quote']

AMEN! Very well said. Let people be who they are and STFU. After all, that's how we want to be treated by others, right?

[NiceHard1]

Perhaps consider less about the age criteria, and look for guys who share the same interests and values that you do. Age can be just a number and if a guy has what you are looking for, be open to seeing what he is all about.

[HotSeed]

I've been surprised, some of these "queeny twinks" are incredibly awesome tops. I've been fucked by plenty of them.

[fuckboy20]

I live in what is considered the second largest "gay" city in the US - we have a very active community - it has a lot of mature gay men - but all ages are very well represented - but heres the thing - I never see some hot butch YOUNG guy - all the YOUNG guys seem to be these nelly little queens - call them twinks if you want - but they all have their gay little outfits - and talk and run around like little girls...

sometimes I think maybe we worked to hard - that the new gay generation never went through the school of hard knocks - and they have no idea what it is to be a MAN- just little prissy queens who have no idea what it means to man up - is our future headed toward the loss of masculinity represented in our community - have we gone to far to open the doors of acceptance that boys blossom into flowers instead of men?

Here Sir have a drink to relax first off *tosses a virtual drink*

How dare you insult my Ft. Lauderdale first. I'm sorry but before you cry about Ft. Lauderdale come to Atlanta. See what "our" so called gay community is. And how it's actually being chipped away at by the city of Atlanta, famlies and hetero couples, and gays themselves. I really don't know what it will be like when I'm 30 or so...well maybe 35-40. Our only leather bar actually got rid of smoking and now has fucking drag queens on mondays. The only sleazy area around cheshire is in THREAT to be torn down so nice homes and apartments can be built..because it's a trashy area. It's a mess.

While I was in Ft. Lauderdale briefly I saw so many gay businesses opening or reopening and even know ones coming soon. The sex clubs were AMAZING and beyond what someone who only lives in Atlanta can only dream of and the men there are fucking hot. I know there is a spanish influence down there but I also couldn't believe all the barebackers and poz guys that were there. There are so many there that I think it scares the safers (totally my slang to call someone who plays safe lol)

I think it's a generational thing. You don't know what it's like to grow up being gay (well..most of your generation diddn't for that matter..some came out or admitted it later) so that's one thing to keep in mind. There are men and women who are brave enough in this day and age to be open and gay at a very early age and people who are accepting of that. I know that's something that past generations would be fucking proud of and somewhere they're probably smiling for that. Second you so wrongfully underestimate youth. I once had at a sex club a very beautiful blond haired, twink boy with a huge dick. He was so passionate, sweet, sensual, and a damn good lover but my beef was he was young. Even though he fucked me I couldn't enjoy it because he was my age and I had sort of a thing against guys my age. I even told him afterwards, "You are an amazing guy someone else would be really lucky but I'm not into younger guys..sorry." That was such an asshole thing I did but he just smiled and thanked me and said he enjoyed it and he understands. Cute and sweet and smart.

I sort of repented in ft. lauderdale because a boy who used to live in macon moved to ft. lauderdale after he visited and fell in love with someone...and talking to him at the bar I could tell he was very much like an Atlanta twink. A bit effeminate, he had stylish dressing and very gay, and talked like a girl a bit. But beyond that I talked to him and learned he's a boy who is working hard to live in ft. lauderdale, likes his job, loves his boyfriend (he says) and his social skills surpass mine greatly and there is a lot to admire about him. But it would be ignored if you just write him off as a twink.

And when he I was on my knees sucking his cock and he was fucking me bare with his huge dick he was amazing. His dick was huge, stamina was amazing and I could feel his youth and his drive. And I agree with another poster on here. I think there are TONS of butch looking masculine daddies who want nothing more than to spread their ass for a young twink and take the big young cock. Not only that but have you seen some men around your age. Some of these mature or so called butch men. They are fucking more fem and less masculine than a twink. I saw a guy in a leather shop once and thought he was the fucking hottest beefy butch daddy I ever saw and when he spoke it's like fucking rainbow colored boas spurged out of his mouth and he grew fucking wings and had a fucking wand with magic pixie dust (****) and displayed it for everyone. Also some of these so called men who are supposed to mature and masculine. Shit some of em are no better than a so called twink.

Also, you don't realize this but besides the youth, drive, and sexual energy us twinks have we also have lots of hopes, lots of dreams, lots of fears, and lots of strength. Some of us really look up to the older generation and want to become better, stronger, and happy and we'll even learn from your mistakes. Everyone I've come into contact with and met..for some reason I feel I've changed them a little bit and made them a bit happier or smile a bit more and laugh. Even if it's just at a bar or a hook up. I don't really know how I do it or what it is but maybe I'm starting to understand the power and influence of youth more.

Now with that being said I fucking love a hot butch daddy top and a man who has swager. But that doesn't mean a twink should get written off for just being a twink. But that is of course your choice.

And also, lots of the butch, leather, and all those men. A lot of them did pass on. I'm sure lots of boys would love to have a more masculine, butch, and strong role model or archetype. But not everyone does. I was lucky in the sense I was raised by gay leather men.

And you worked too hard? You don't think the younger generation works hard enough and never went through the school of knocks. So some of us never got the switch, never got beat in public, and yes some of us might have lived with our parents longer. It's a different game now Sir. Internet, technology, what schools have become now, the education system, the poor and than the rich, the way society is. We have our own shit to go through and some of us work very fucking hard to keep what we have and what little we have. I think it's actually fucking arrogant to say that "you worked too hard" and we haven't or don't know what it's like.

The sad thing is if you actually give people a chance you'll learn so much more about them instead of thinking of just of a good piece of ass to fuck or a dick to ride. Not that it's ever wrong to go just looking for that. But I see people like you at bars and other places. Always galavanting about the good ol days how the younger generation doesn't know anything, so naive, and how you live and just love to gloat about your glory days. What good is all your achievements in life and all your pride if you don't have someone to share it with. While some might be bored as fuck hearing about your ramblings and drivel a young man takes curiosity to it and listens and is engaged and captivated. But you will miss out on that.

I'm sorry but I might not be a twink..maybe I'm growing out of it but I was a twink at one point. It sucked getting judged by guys just for being younger..but then again I did the same to people my own age so I guess that's karma for you. But you really should be fortunate and happy to live in Ft. Lauderdale with such interesting people and tons of hot guys both tops and bottoms and versatile. And so many things to do, great bars, and great places to go for sex.

But then again, I'm just a twink, I haven't worked hard enough and I don't know what it's like to be a man. And I'll let you know. I even HAVE called out someone in a bar before when he shouted, "God dammit this bar is becoming full of fucking twinks it's a fucking twink bar" (when it really wasn't.). I looked him in the eye and said, "What's wrong with twinks." He bitched out and said, "Uhm nothing I wasn't even talking to you." I commented that, "Well no but I'm talking to you because you made a comment which partially applies to me so I'm curious." He just bitched out and said nothing.

And I even called out someone who criticized me for barebacking when we talked in a bar and said out loud how I shouldn't do it and I told him don't fucking tell me how to live my life, I understand the consequences and am responsible for my own life and I can make my own decisions and they don't impact you and I will do what I want and what is right for me. Nerve of that asshole to shout in the bar that I bareback and then act concerned.

And trust me. There are lots of twinks out there that are strong, can speak their own mind, and will beat the shit out of someone if they are insulted or need to defend themselves. Ironically I've actually known one or two.

Edited June 8, 2013 by fuckboy20
Cuz I said (meth) as pixie dust as a joke and truth that some nelly butch guys do that.

[BabyBobby]

It isn't just your city it is everywhere. I grew up in Boston and when I came out in 1987 (age 20) the City seemed so gay and there were all types of gays and I loved it. The last 15 years I have lived to the suburbs and then rural parts of the state with my lover and now also with our adopted kids and seldom made in to Boston and especially the bars or other gay hangouts. Recently I had a conference in Boston and decided to hit some of the old haunts. First most were closed and the few remaining had the more stereotypical gays and not just queens but also leather daddy's and trannies. What I noticed missing wasn't the masculine men but it was the guys who no one would think were gay. The world has changed and those guys mostly don't seem to hang out at the gay spots any longer. Where they went anyone can guess, maybe just online, maybe some don't feel the need to be part of the gay community as they can be gay and be accepted by their straight friends that they don't need to be surrounded by other gays, maybe some don't bother coming out now as they can get married to a woman and still meet up with other guys when they want to.

I am thankful for the queens and leather men that still stay together because if it wasn't for them the gay meccas would likely disappear and then when I want to be in the company of other gays I'd have nowhere to go other than online.

Yes the generation today doesn't know what it was like when you and I grew up but then we don't really know what it is like for them either.

The major change that I see isn't the demasculinizing of the gay community but the spreading of the gay community to everywhere and not just the gay cities. I grew up in Boston and enjoyed that life but now I live in the western and much more rural part of the state where gays were afraid to be out but my partner and I are out and while still being new in the town we now run the town and one of the largest organizations in town. Two of our five town officials are gay and some of our business owners. We are bringing the gay community to our adopted town and so aren't many others.

It may be easier since we are not stereotypically gay in appearance or mannerism and we left our more stereotypical back in the City but it was our turn to bring tolerance and acceptance to places outside of the gay meccas so that the children here also can have positive gay role models.