I'm fucked in the head

[Lastud4u]

I'm tall, tan, in shape guy and I'm a mental mess. I've been a top since I came out at 18 years old but recently started getting breeded by a trusted friend. I want to get breeded my multiple tops now but I'm afraid at the exact same time. All I think about is getting used and loaded in my ass. I've lined up some great tops in the past but I always find an excuse not to go through with getting fucked. I'm currently negative but that's not the concern here. I seen to always find something wrong with the top at the moment of hook up and back out. the next day I regret not getting fucked. I then contact the top and then say I'm ready and the top ignores me. What is wrong with me? I spend hours watching breeding videos and reading about being stealthed. I have good friend who's tired of me begging to get nailed by a small group and of course I back out when he sets up the group. He said the other day I need to make my fucking mind up or he's going to tie me up, blind fold me and watch as I get breeded by neg and pozz tops. I've been called a prick tease many times. I don't know why I do this. What's wrong with me? I had a tall top come over yesterday. He was ready to top my ass. He had a 6 day load to shoot in my ass and I made up an excuse saying I had to go and could not fuck. He was pissed. I wish I could unlock this mental block I have. Any ideas what my problem is?

[seaguy]

You like the buildup and how it makes you feel but actually doing it is something your not ready to go through with. Your gonna want to stop flaking on those tops cause they will eventyually say fuck this and your gonna be left with no tops when you are finally ready. Sometimes drugs or alcohol can help get you past that anxiety or feeling that causes you to not go through with it. Tina is a good one for that I will say.

[Guest GoodExercise]

Yep, definitely fucked in the head.

[drscorpio]

Do you have similar issues committing to a course of action in other aspects of your life? Do you make other kinds of plans and later back out inconveniencing and annoying the people around you. If so, this may be part of a larger problem. You might benefit from counseling to help you work through the issues.

If it is fear of HIV that is causing you to balk, then you would be a good candidate for PrEP. Maybe you should go check out the section of this forum devoted to that topic.

You need to work through in your head whether taking on multiple, bare tops is what you really want. If it is, maybe you should let your buddy tie you down.

[pipesmokin'manfucker]

Maybe you're not fucked in the head at all but just temporarily stuck at the sexual corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.

Edited December 3, 2013 by pipesmokin'manfucker

[Pig Bottom]

Go back to being a top, the world needs more tops.

[versgeek]

You seem to be afraid to let yourself go but you desire it. I wouldn't say you're fucked in the head. I can relate a bit, though I tend to do different things than what you describe. I mostly end up getting fucked in glory holes or back of bars and not letting the guy finish.

[HMR89]

You may be overthinking it. Okay, so you HAVE 'been bred' before, right? Instead of going for multiple tops right away, try going for 2 and then, 3 and then more? That may work? What you could do is that you could ask a trusted friend to fuck you and tell him to tell the second top to come a few minutes later so that when you're all horned up you'd be more willing to take more cock?

[NastySlamPigLA]

You're in love with the POZ top fantasy but you're not ready to actually go through with it. And that's okay.

[PERVERSATILE]

Buddy - Hire an escort to bang ur cherry out .

or get outta town -go somewhere you are not known,

Get a video booth at an ABS and grind that Hungry ManKunt against the gloryHole,

and don't leave until you're Knocked-up Rock Solid.

Other wise I fear you may be in the process of destroying a personal belief

that I hold to be true and dear:

'"Fucked in the Head - Good in Bed"

Please don't make me change my Coat of Arms.

Thank you

& good luck w/ becoming well rounded

xxoxo

[joethomas]

Seriously, you're not fucked in the head. You're having some natural hesitation that a lot of people have. I've had it. When I first started being with guys, I insisted on being the top, because I was scared (for whatever reason) to bottom. In my situation, the feelings changed as I became more confident and experienced. Don't be ashamed of how you feel, but at the same time, don't drag other guys into your fantasies if you're not sure you want them involved. If you do that too often, you'll burn a lot of bridges that won't be fixed easily.

[PERVERSATILE]

Well said joethomas-

good advice based on experience.