If I Ran For President

[kenaibull]

If I were to run for President and won here is what I would do:

 

1. 2000% tax on all condoms

 

2. Eliminate any tax benefits of condom manufactures of donating condoms to the public, non-profit, etc.

 

3. With the revenue earned from condom tax revenue I would fund the "Holy Gloryhole" program.

 

4. The "Holy Gloryhole" program would renovate old and abandoned churches and turn them into "Men's sexual re-education facilities." Among these, Gloryholes would be constructed inside said premises. Also, to rebuild our crumbling infrastructure  I would make it mandatory that all contracts for restroom construction would include "ventilation orifices" built into all public restroom partition walls. So-in short, fuck the freeways, we need great state-of-the art rest stop facilities.

 

5. Safe sex education would be eliminated from all public schools.

 

6. Bathhouses, gay bars, and the like would receive 501 3 c status (non-profit). Consider this as part (but not all) reparations for Homosexual discrimination.

 

7. All members of congress who voted for DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) would be incarcerated for crimes against the people of the USA.. Their assets would be seized. 

 

8. All federal prisons would be controlled by gay only staff. Sex would be considered a human right. Sex would be allowed in prisons. Lube would be provided and funded by the condom tax. Condoms would be considered contraband.

 

9. The FCC would be disbanded. Censorship would be outlawed. Gay education TV channels would receive federal funding. PBS would be gone. Sorry Big Bird.

 

10. People with STDs would receive supplementary income. Amount to be allotted would be determined by severity of STD. HIV Positive/AIDS individuals would receive the most.

 

11. Capital of US would be moved to San Francisco, CA. Pride week in said city would be a week-long federal holiday. 

 

Stay tuned for more....

 

 

[bberik]

With 2000% tax on condoms, I'm afraid the World would be overpopulated pretty fast.

 

How about making people have to apply to the Government to have straight sex? They will of course have to pay a high fee, and with the bureaucracy it will of course take a few months to get a reply. And when they do, couples will be given a room and a certain time to have sex.

 

In the meantime, gay sex will be free anywhere and anytime. There will of course be no more gay prides, because there will be gay parties all over the world all the time.

Edited July 20, 2015 by bberik

[whorepig]

Sounds like you have given this a lot of thought..............LOL............go for it

[PhoenixGeoff]

I would add one more thing:  institute the secret ballot in Congress.  I guarantee every hypocritical "family values" congressman who votes against gay issues but has a wide stance in the airport man's room would vote to pass your agenda.  Which would be probably the entire GOP caucus.