Have You Lived With Someone You Met On A Hook-Up Site?

[Bottomhole]

Hey guys, let me specify. Has anyone shared an apartment, or living quarters with someone they've seen/met on a hook-up site that they aren't currently seeing. I'm looking for a place to rent with my bf by the end of this month, and a guy is offering a room at his place. The only thing is, I've met up with him from bbrt in the past, and not exactly sure what the guy's intention is. Has anyone else been in a similar situation, or just lived with someone they met for casual sex without it developing into a relationship (even sexually). How did it go? Please share you experiences.

[Pell]

Sure!  I lived with a guy I met on Bear 411.  We did not have sex while I lived there.  I just felt that it'd cause less drama.  After I moved out, so much sex!

[drscorpio]

You really need to talk to him about what his intentions are. He has no reason to think you won't continue to have sex with him if you haven't told him that is the case. 

[seaguy]

I did years ago back when you had to use BBS's to meet cause the web was still text based.  We met and he ended up having drama with some straight roommates so he got kicked out of something and I had a spare bedroom in my apartment when he gave me his sob story I offered to let him move into it.  Ended up that he was always on the phone (dialup internet) and he ran up a huge long distance bill without telling me.  The last straw was when he would hide in his room being antisocial I told him get the fuck out.  Have not done roommates since.

[Bottomhole]

I've told him it was me and my boyfriend that were looking. But, I haven't told him it's a monogamous relationship, is that necessary nowadays? I'm starting to think it's a bad idea, this dude can be pretty forward sexually and I wouldn't want it to get weird. Apartments are so expensive in Dublin city though.

[drscorpio]

I wouldn't assume anything. Tell him how you want things to go, and see if he is still up for the two of you moving in. 

[tallbtm]

Drscorpio is right. You've got to make your expectations clear. You need to meet with him and let him know you and your BF have a monogamous relationship so sex as roommates won't be on the table. Let him back out of the offer if that's not what he wants.

 

Sharing a living space is pretty intimate. For everyone to get along harmoniously all three of you need to be on the same page about everyone's expectations:  When rent is due, how cleaning duties are shared, what level of general tidiness is expected, what kind of entertaining you plan to do at home, whether food will be shared, whether smoking or substance use is allowed, what hours your typically keep, whether sex with the roomies is on the menu, etc., etc.   

 

In college I was roommates with a guy I'd previously had sex with a few times. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went but it was plain to both of us before he moved in that part of his rent wouldn't be boning his landlord (me).  It worked out fine because we were upfront at the start.

Edited July 21, 2015 by tallbtm

[bbzh]

@bottomhole: I'm getting bad vibes from this. Does your bf know you hooked up with this guy? How would you feel if the two of them hooked up behind your back? There is more that go can wrong from living with this guy than can go right. Keep looking. Live farther out from the city if money is an issue. To be honest, I am sitting here trying to figure out why your potential landlord would even WANT to live with you given your past with him. That's not meant to offend you in any way. I just find that extremely odd. I'd feel differently if you told me you had hooked up with the guy and had become platonic friends. Steer clear is my vote. Doubt means don't.

Edited July 21, 2015 by bbzh

[Bottomhole]

To explain a bit further. I slept with this dude a few times and we got along fine. At the time he was in an open relationship with a guy and I was single. They split up and the dude moved out. So the room is free. To be honest I'm not exactly sure bbzh, maybe he just wants to help me out as we got along well, maybe he wants something more. I'd be paying rent obvs, not paying with sexual favours, does that even happen outside of porn? I'm not concerned with him hooking up with my bf as I completely trust him as he does me(I've no intention to cheat) Dr Scorpio, I'm a little hesitant about laying down the rules(for lack of a better term) because if I mention that I'm not up for playing away and he then reveals he had no intention of doing anything, I'd feel like a bit of a dick. Maybe I'm over thinking it.

 

An update. My bf might be able to extent his lease so the whole situation might not have to occur, I should know by the end of the week. I'm gonna wait until I know till I discuss it with my potential new landlord.