Frustrating Performance Anxiety in Large Group Settings... Anyone Else?

[VersatileBreeder]

A few months ago, a fuck buddy of mine convinced me to go to Cumunion here in NYC with him for my first time. At first, I was hesitant because I always felt I would be too shy in a large group setting but I said fuck it, what's the worst that could happen, and went with him. 

That first experience was fucking awesome. I am more of a top, but I'll get on my knees for a dude or bend over and let him ram me if that's where he's headed. When my buddy and I got there, I got instantly hard seeing all these hot naked dudes around sucking and fucking each other and I joined in the action pretty quickly. That night I had bottoms bending over for my dick in almost every direction I turned (not bragging, just reporting lol). By the end of the night, I fucked probably at least 12 guys, gave 3 loads and took 4. It was one of the hottest nights of sex I ever had. And one I never thought I would have.

Naturally I have been driven back there several times in the past few months but have since gotten mixed results in my, erm, performance. For whatever reason, my dick getting hard is a struggle now at those parties. I eventually, after a lot of jerking, will get hard but I also tend to go soft very easily, making fucking difficult and stressful when it should be hot and fun. This is not the case when I'm 1 on 1 with a guy, in which case I get hard as a rock. 

So it baffles me... Why is it that when I go to these parties now, where I'm so mentally aroused by the whole scene, where hot guys will approach me and start feeling me up, even get on their knees or bend over for me... Why is it that I'm struggling to get hard? I feel like even though I'm so aroused, my mind is all over the place and it becomes some weird type of performance anxiety for me.

Anyone else have this issue in large group settings? Obviously if you're like me and you can get rock hard when you're alone with one guy, it's not an ED issue. This is some sort of mental block that I'm trying to overcome. I want to just go to these parties, let my mind go, and just fuck my brains out. 

If anyone else has had this similar issue and can share how they may have overcome it, I'd greatly appreciate your advice. All comments welcome. Thanks.

 

[hungry_hole]

2 hours ago, poptronic said:

... Why is it that I'm struggling to get hard? I feel like even though I'm so aroused, my mind is all over the place and it becomes some weird type of performance anxiety for me.

Anyone else have this issue in large group settings?

You mention that you are fully versatile and that you can take and also give loads. If that's the case, what's the problem if you can't get a hard-on? Why not be more of a bottom? (I hate promoting the bottom role given it's abundance!)

Next time you get like that in a group just become the slutty bottom...Plus I think you're pretty hot or at least young.

[not_sure_bb]

expectations are a bitch. Nothing a blue pill wont help.

[topstud127]

When you have AMAZING first timers, you tend to compare and expect everything to live up to that instead of just letting things happen as they are. Get out of your head, forget about previous encounters and just take in what's there. Deep, full body breaths and more-or-less channeling your sexual energy through your body helps recalibrate you. As mentioned above, Viagra and Cialis for good for an all night-back and forth-flips, especially if you normally don't cum multiple times or are able to top and bottom back to back.

[VersatileBreeder]

3 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

You mention that you are fully versatile and that you can take and also give loads. If that's the case, what's the problem if you can't get a hard-on? Why not be more of a bottom? (I hate promoting the bottom role given it's abundance!)

Next time you get like that in a group just become the slutty bottom...Plus I think you're pretty hot or at least young.

hungryhole, I am vers but more of a top. If I had it my way I'd be 50/50 because I love both roles, but I'm the kind of guy that when guys see me, they generally see me more as a top. I'm 6'2" 230 lb, a big guy with a meaty thick dick. I get much more action as a top than as a bottom so that is what I go for. 

Believe me, I wouldn't mind just going and being a slutty bottom, but there are already so many of those guys there, which is one of the things I love about those parties. So many bottoms, so many choices.

[VersatileBreeder]

2 hours ago, not_sure_bb said:

expectations are a bitch. Nothing a blue pill wont help.

I have tried the blue pill, I still have a bitch of a time staying hard believe it or not.

[VersatileBreeder]

2 hours ago, topstud127 said:

When you have AMAZING first timers, you tend to compare and expect everything to live up to that instead of just letting things happen as they are. Get out of your head, forget about previous encounters and just take in what's there. Deep, full body breaths and more-or-less channeling your sexual energy through your body helps recalibrate you. As mentioned above, Viagra and Cialis for good for an all night-back and forth-flips, especially if you normally don't cum multiple times or are able to top and bottom back to back.

Topstud, that's what I want to do- just get out of my head and let it all go. Here are the factors that I THINK prevent me from being able to do that...

- As soon as I walk in, I start putting pressure on myself to get hard and fuck. That's all that goes through my mind- get hard and fuck, get hard and fuck.

- The sheer number of guys is overwhelming and I have trouble focusing on what's going on where.

- I have ADHD (not on meds) so my attention gets diverted everywhere and prohibits me from focusing on one or two things. 

Thats all I can really think of but that seems to do it for me. I don't know how to overcome those things.

[topstud127]

31 minutes ago, poptronic said:

Topstud, that's what I want to do- just get out of my head and let it all go. Here are the factors that I THINK prevent me from being able to do that...

- As soon as I walk in, I start putting pressure on myself to get hard and fuck. That's all that goes through my mind- get hard and fuck, get hard and fuck.

- The sheer number of guys is overwhelming and I have trouble focusing on what's going on where.

- I have ADHD (not on meds) so my attention gets diverted everywhere and prohibits me from focusing on one or two things. 

Thats all I can really think of but that seems to do it for me. I don't know how to overcome those things.

 

Why rush? Get comfortable being naked. Scope out and be scoped out. If you see someone you want to fuck ("as opposed to willing ass and dick, so why not"), take a moment to get acquainted via kissing, foreplay, or talking. Then go ahead. First and foremost, you're there to enjoy yourself, entertaining everyone else is secondary. Just you and your partner(s) at that moment. I've been fucking with over a dozen guys watching, I know they're there, but I'm not thinking about them or looking at them. In fact, some of the most intimate sex I've had has been with an audience. Lock in with your partner and with your pleasure. If you're into it, the audience will be. Applies to porn, applies to writers, to performers, on and on.

Either take your Adderall (or whatever) or don't. But again, sex should not be a high pressure anxiety activity. Take some deep breaths, focus on your body and his body, and be in the moment.

[fuckrogerbb]

I agree that you should slow down, try some foreplay, just focus on one bottom. ADHD may be the real problem though. You would probably be happier in a one on one situation.

[VersatileBreeder]

12 hours ago, topstud127 said:

 

Why rush? Get comfortable being naked. Scope out and be scoped out. If you see someone you want to fuck ("as opposed to willing ass and dick, so why not"), take a moment to get acquainted via kissing, foreplay, or talking. Then go ahead. First and foremost, you're there to enjoy yourself, entertaining everyone else is secondary. Just you and your partner(s) at that moment. I've been fucking with over a dozen guys watching, I know they're there, but I'm not thinking about them or looking at them. In fact, some of the most intimate sex I've had has been with an audience. Lock in with your partner and with your pleasure. If you're into it, the audience will be. Applies to porn, applies to writers, to performers, on and on.

Either take your Adderall (or whatever) or don't. But again, sex should not be a high pressure anxiety activity. Take some deep breaths, focus on your body and his body, and be in the moment.

Topstud127, I totally agree with you. In fact, there was one time at Cumunion I met a cute little smooth Filipino bottom (just my type) and we started getting really into each other. I took him in the corner and we made out for a bit, he sucked me, I rimmed him and then I started fucking him. All the while I was hard  as a rock. As soon as I felt the presence of other guys coming over, watching us, feeling both of us up, distraction started setting in and I started to lose my hard on. I didn't want to be a dick and tell everyone to leave us alone (after all it IS a group event), so instead we took a breather and then we ventured off to another part of the venue that was a bit quieter. I started fucking him again but once again, the crowd started to build around us. The bottom started to sense that the distraction was throwing me off so he looked directly at me (he was riding me) and said things like "it's just you and me" and started engaging me in hot dirty talk to keep my attention only on him and it actually worked. I fucked him for a good long time and blasted a load deep in him, even with the crowd watching and cheering me on to breed him. 

So I guess you are right, it's all about being engaged with the other person. I just feel like at a lot of those group events, guys that want that deep connected 1-on-1 with another guy is rare and instead, you find a lot of guys that just want to get bent over and loaded ASAP and that seems to be the type of scene where the distraction/anxiety sets in. 

[VersatileBreeder]

11 hours ago, fuckrogerbb said:

I agree that you should slow down, try some foreplay, just focus on one bottom. ADHD may be the real problem though. You would probably be happier in a one on one situation.

Fuckrogerbb, I definitely do FUNCTION much better in a one on one situation but I find the group scene to be so fucking hot that I can't resist going to these events and trying my luck. Seeing these big top studs passing around and breeding hot bottoms that are there living to take loads just is so hot to me, but unfortunately it also seems to be the catalyst of this anxiety I get when there are so many guys around.

[Guest]

I realize this is an old thread. 😉

I think guys tend to look around in a group setting and mentally compare themselves to the other guys, and it can be a mood killer. Maybe the first time you were running more on lust and confidence, and later visits you did more mental checking whether you realized it or not.

I have the same problem as a TS; I’ve been asked to become a cam girl repeatedly but when I look on the cam sites all I see is transfems with huge dicks compared to me.

Maybe it will help to try to remember that a lot of bottoms don’t care about performance or size. I know it doesn’t seem like that looking online, but the Internet can be a distorting lens to look through.

And personally, I’m turned on by ED anyway. 

- Di ❤️

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, DianaTSSlut said:

I realize this is an old thread. 😉

I think guys tend to look around in a group setting and mentally compare themselves to the other guys, and it can be a mood killer. Maybe the first time you were running more on lust and confidence, and later visits you did more mental checking whether you realized it or not.

I have the same problem as a TS; I’ve been asked to become a cam girl repeatedly but when I look on the cam sites all I see is transfems with huge dicks compared to me.

Maybe it will help to try to remember that a lot of bottoms don’t care about performance or size. I know it doesn’t seem like that looking online, but the Internet can be a distorting lens to look through.

And personally, I’m turned on by ED anyway. 

- Di ❤️

Prefer your body curvy voluptuous and meaty but your cock tiny soft and useless. 

[Guest]

7 minutes ago, bigbootybottom4u said:

Prefer your body curvy voluptuous and meaty but your cock tiny soft and useless. 

My Adderall shrivels my 7” girlcock up until it’s just a tiny shrouded clit. Plus it becomes useless - I can’t touch it without cumming in a ruined orgasm. Most of the time even thinking about it makes me squirt in my panties, ruining my orgasm.

I can’t find the pics atm so I’ll have to pop some and take new pics.

- Di ❤️

Edited December 29, 2021 by DianaTSSlut
Expanded

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, DianaTSSlut said:

My Adderall shrivels my 7” girlcock up until it’s just a tiny shrouded clit. I can’t find the pics atm so I’ll have to pop some and take new pics.

- Di ❤️

You are a sexy gurl