Is stealthing morally okay?

[tallslenderguy]

8 minutes ago, find91 said:

It's more about power, than finding a welcoming slut

i think it's a fascinating dynamic.  For me, it has to do with the Tops desire/need for power and control and the corresponding/complimentary need/desire of a bottom to submit to power and control.

There's also the factor of effect. As a bottom, i love the idea of being affected by a Top. For me, the 'effect' is a way of Him putting His 'mark' on me or His presence in me.  For me, stealthing (not pozzing) can be an expression of deep understanding and connection. I.e., the Top 'knows' what the bottom needs and wants naturally.  One of the best sexual connections of my life was when a Top stealth pissed inside of me.  It wasn't a matter of Him just taking what He wanted, it was much more complex. He figured out that i'd love it and gave it to me as a sort of surprise gift vs a forced act.

I think it's tricky and risky (it can instead be presumptuous instead of "knowledge") for the Top, that it can show a deep courage and awesome effort to connect by getting to know a bottom well enough to be able to 'know' their needs and wants and through that intimate knowledge enjoy power and control in that bottoms life.  

[find91]

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

i think it's a fascinating dynamic.  For me, it has to do with the Tops desire/need for power and control and the corresponding/complimentary need/desire of a bottom to submit to power and control.

There's also the factor of effect. As a bottom, i love the idea of being affected by a Top. For me, the 'effect' is a way of Him putting His 'mark' on me or His presence in me.  For me, stealthing (not pozzing) can be an expression of deep understanding and connection. I.e., the Top 'knows' what the bottom needs and wants naturally.  One of the best sexual connections of my life was when a Top stealth pissed inside of me.  It wasn't a matter of Him just taking what He wanted, it was much more complex. He figured out that i'd love it and gave it to me as a sort of surprise gift vs a forced act.

I think it's tricky and risky (it can instead be presumptuous instead of "knowledge") for the Top, that it can show a deep courage and awesome effort to connect by getting to know a bottom well enough to be able to 'know' their needs and wants and through that intimate knowledge enjoy power and control in that bottoms life.  

I totally agree with what you are saying, but the one thing you left out is a relationship was created and was willingly continued by both parties. The basis of any relationship is communication that be it verbal, or physical.

There are times a Dom and sub can be so connected, it's as if the is an empathic telepathic link between them. You accepted your top stealth pissing in your ass because trust must of already been built or you at least felt same in him present.

When you start doing edge play stealthing, raping, extreme S&M. These aspects need very explicit consent before, and even during the process, because they have the greatest to do harm. Weather that be physical ( i.e. contracting an std, bodily damage) or psycho emotional harm (sub or Dom drop off, feelings, worthlessness ( not in the good way) or confusing shame with how people perceive u).

Furthermore, their are a lot of "top" that mascarade as Dom or bad ass tops when in fact they are just psycho's looking for a next victim.

If you need to stealth a guy behind his back without having a discussion on non consentual sex. You already know what you are doing is wrong because you fear they will not give consent so you willingly took that power away from the bottom to get what you want. There's nothing brave or bad ass about it.

 

[tallslenderguy]

9 minutes ago, find91 said:

I totally agree with what you are saying, but the one thing you left out is a relationship was created and was willingly continued by both parties. The basis of any relationship is communication that be it verbal, or physical.

There are times a Dom and sub can be so connected, it's as if the is an empathic telepathic link between them. You accepted your top stealth pissing in your ass because trust must of already been built or you at least felt same in him present.

When you start doing edge play stealthing, raping, extreme S&M. These aspects need very explicit consent before, and even during the process, because they have the greatest to do harm. Weather that be physical ( i.e. contracting an std, bodily damage) or psycho emotional harm (sub or Dom drop off, feelings, worthlessness ( not in the good way) or confusing shame with how people perceive u).

Furthermore, their are a lot of "top" that mascarade as Dom or bad ass tops when in fact they are just psycho's looking for a next victim.

If you need to stealth a guy behind his back without having a discussion on non consentual sex. You already know what you are doing is wrong because you fear they will not give consent so you willingly took that power away from the bottom to get what you want. There's nothing brave or bad ass about it.

 

i think You are right, i could have stated the need for "relationship" more clearly rather than making it implicit.  i'm pretty convinced that any significant D/s interaction requires the trust that can only come from communication, and i love the "empathic" almost "telepathic" link that can be had. i think you state it perfectly and love how You get the distinction between Dom/Top and a "psycho."  i think intent changes the energy, approach and effect of the act.

[Guest Descartes70817]

Sex in any way, shape or form must be consensual or it's sexual assault or rape.

That said when I was playing "safe only" quite a few of the bottoms who came over to be fucked made absolutely no effort at all to put a condom on my dick before sitting on it, and there were several times when I openly slid my bare cock into a "safe" bottom without any objection from the guy. If the bottom objected I stopped immediately though.

The nearest thing to stealthing I've done has been when a bottom tells me not to cum inside him - for some reason I'm a bit slow pulling out, and always seem to shoot the first squirt while I'm still inside the guy. Then again I've only done this since I've been on meds - before I was diagnosed I never pulled out, but I also never fucked anyone who wanted me to pull out.

[120DaysofSodom]

Stealthing is fucked up. Be open and honest with your partners or don’t have sex at all. 

[Guest CuriousDallas]

This is probably the wrong place to have a discussion on morality or ethics as everyone here seems to be compromised in one way or another with quite a few exceptions. As I’ve said before, it’s a two way street. Guys lie about everything and if you’re going to get fucked you need to realize that. I’ve lied to guys before. I own that. Guys have lied to me. I know that if I bareback I should be on prep or not say yes, and yet I’ve let guys bareback me. I’ve not asked guys their status. That’s on me. I’ve been so drunk or high a poz guy could have disclosed his status and I might have let him fuck me anyhow. That’s on both of us. It’s not all down to one person in every situation...it’s down to both parties. If there is a hell I know I have a lot to answer for...that’s probably true for a lot of guys on here.

[alwaysready]

would love to im;pregnate you and bring you into the brotherhood, curiousdallas

[DarkroomTaker]

12 hours ago, TwinkFoot said:

Stealthing is fucked up. Be open and honest with your partners or don’t have sex at all. 

Agreed... I am a BBer so I take loads knowingly, I just hate the thought and anguish of people being duped, conned, tricked when they are being safe and then sneakly loaded without consent, is it rape? . There are plenty of bare bottoms out there to use,.

[Guest CuriousNegBoi]

As much as I enjoy the idea of being stealthed, I still would prefer to agree to it beforehand. As a fetish with consent, Stealthing is pretty damn hot and kinky.

However, without that, I would say its morally wrong; especially if you are giving more than what the bottom would prefer.

[Guest]

I was in a three way one time, topping. We were all playing raw and fucking. I shot my load in this dreamy stud, who then freaked out that I unloaded in him. His buddy was also shocked. I mean, we were all barebacking each other and nothing was said before, like pull out when cumming. Anyway it was an awkward situation. I misread the vibe and thought breeding was fair game. 

[Guest Phillyphucker25]

I think stealthing is not only morally wrong, its a essentially sexual assault.

[Guest PhillyBBGuy]

2 hours ago, Phillyphucker25 said:

I think stealthing is not only morally wrong, its a essentially sexual assault.

I agree!

[Daddyph]

4 hours ago, Phillyphucker25 said:

I think stealthing is not only morally wrong, its a essentially sexual assault.

Couldn’t agree more ! 

[cumslutfuckpig]

On 3/18/2020 at 9:40 PM, Daddyph said:

Couldn’t agree more ! 

I think reading the situation definitely comes into play.  Sexual assault where someone is victimized is obviously just that.  There are instances of boundary pushing, control exchange, verbal / non-verbal play that fall well within sexual assault on paper that work for a person (I love when tops take initiative, or when we are communicating non-verbally so well they understand the difference between what my brain is saying and what my body is saying... love being stealthed or just not asked, and in some cases that has included chems).  But that comes down to reading your situation.  A good top or bottom tests the waters to see how provocations are responded to.  Or you go to the trouble of a long conversation beforehand that sets not a playbook but how much latitude can be had.  And yes... dom tops (even guys who claim they’re into rough and more) fall into “big bro’s” who ultimately can’t go all the way, “rape tops” who have the stomach for it, and psychos who don’t respect boundaries and are just looking for an excuse to hurt someone.  That’s why I’ve never used safe words as a bottom.  Anyone who I needed them with didn’t respect them, and anyone who respected them communicated well enough not to need them.   

[cumslutfuckpig]

On 3/9/2020 at 10:22 AM, find91 said:

I totally agree with what you are saying, but the one thing you left out is a relationship was created and was willingly continued by both parties. The basis of any relationship is communication that be it verbal, or physical.

There are times a Dom and sub can be so connected, it's as if the is an empathic telepathic link between them. You accepted your top stealth pissing in your ass because trust must of already been built or you at least felt same in him present.

When you start doing edge play stealthing, raping, extreme S&M. These aspects need very explicit consent before, and even during the process, because they have the greatest to do harm. Weather that be physical ( i.e. contracting an std, bodily damage) or psycho emotional harm (sub or Dom drop off, feelings, worthlessness ( not in the good way) or confusing shame with how people perceive u).

 

I would eagerly love to explore scenes like that with you.  You spend a lot of time thinking extreme sex through.  That’s right up my alley so to speak.