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I feel like I’m slipping into bareback


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So, I’m a 22 guy. I stayed clean through years of fucking, I always craved bareback but I kept using condoms. Only one guy ever took me raw and came. My ex, I knew he was clean. That was best sex I ever had, since then two years of craving it more and more. Right now I’m in a total dry spell, because I know that I couldn’t resist the bareback. I have obligations, family that would be concerned, job... but I need sex. And I am going crazy from not being filled with cum. Prep is not an option, besides there are other std’s. What should I do? Should I take one for the team and ride somebody’s balls dry?

Edited by Nasicus
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Ultimately that's for you to decide, and if you catch something can you deal with it. Honestly there's always some risk involved aka guy was honest about his status or assumed they were negative, condom breakage or even slipping out. Now if Prep is not possible due to cost think of the cost of you become poz, medication, doctors visits, and tests. 

I'm poz undetectable and if could change and go back I would but it's not up for debate but in the same breath my life didn't come to an end it just changed. Some doors closed but left others opened. I'm all for physical and emotional enjoyment but don't go in ignorant of the possibilities of said choices. And like you said HIV isn't the only thing one should be concerned about.  Not sure if anything I've said helps but hopefully some food for thought

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2 hours ago, Nasicus said:

So, I’m a 22 guy. I stayed clean through years of fucking, I always craved bareback but I kept using condoms. Only one guy ever took me raw and came. My ex, I knew he was clean. That was best sex I ever had, since then two years of craving it more and more. Right now I’m in a total dry spell, because I know that I couldn’t resist the bareback. I have obligations, family that would be concerned, job... but I need sex. And I am going crazy from not being filled with cum. Prep is not an option, besides there are other std’s. What should I do? Should I take one for the team and ride somebody’s balls dry?

First thing... Do use the term "CLEAN" !

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It's good to see you thinking about ling term consequences at age 22. I understand about how strong the need for sex is at your age. The best you may be able to do is to screen potential partners and understand you take a risk that they are lying or undiagnosed.

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I agree with Slut! The term "clean" needs to stop! I'm sure he means it needs to stop. If you're HIV- what makes you think you're cleaner than I am? And as far as bareback goes, we all make decisions in life that we need to accept and live with. You sound confused when you talk about your "obligations." HIV is not the end of the world. Yes your life will definitely change, but the world keeps going on and you should too. If you bareback you probably (1) enjoy the pleasure it gives your partner and/or (2) you enjoy the feeling of cum in your body. Either way, you only go around once, make the best of it. 

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The biggest way to turn a guy off is to ask if he is “clean.” I know you are just starting out but please don’t ever use that term. It’s really offensive 

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Guest CuriousDallas

I’m in the same boat as you...not on Prep, knowing I shouldn’t eat fucked bareback yet craving it mightily. I know I’m weak and tried to resist..it started out with a few guys I trusted and them every once in a while I’d get cruised in a bathroom by a hot guy and next thing I know I’m in the stall taking him raw. It moves from there to kik and Grindr. It becomes all consuming and I don’t know how to stop it.

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Guest PozJock
1 hour ago, CuriousDallas said:

I’m in the same boat as you...not on Prep, knowing I shouldn’t eat fucked bareback yet craving it mightily. I know I’m weak and tried to resist..it started out with a few guys I trusted and them every once in a while I’d get cruised in a bathroom by a hot guy and next thing I know I’m in the stall taking him raw. It moves from there to kik and Grindr. It becomes all consuming and I don’t know how to stop it.

I know the same exact feeling...  How I ended up poz .. after years of barebacking and well prep was just very new I couldn't resist the raw feeling of bare cock ing me and taking loads left and right eventually it all caught it up to me 5 years ago when I tested Positive surprisingly... wasn't chasing it or anything just fucking bareback with guys daily... Don't worry @CuriousDallas just enjoy the raw feeling and what happens happens 

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3 hours ago, CuriousDallas said:

I’m in the same boat as you...not on Prep, knowing I shouldn’t eat fucked bareback yet craving it mightily. I know I’m weak and tried to resist..it started out with a few guys I trusted and them every once in a while I’d get cruised in a bathroom by a hot guy and next thing I know I’m in the stall taking him raw. It moves from there to kik and Grindr. It becomes all consuming and I don’t know how to stop it. 

you sound very conflicted. you might consider talking to a counselor.

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Note to Dallas:

Some say cum in ass is literally physically addictive.

Counselors have been to schools that teach about early life, male touch, father rejection, middle child, peer rejection, feelings of self worth. All the usual stuff. All roads lead to “don’t do it”.

You are in College. You know all this and you know your personal history. 

There is also “control from the bottom”, manipulation. Roman Emperors all got fucked when they were young. This is a learned skill. It is an art. Cybernetics is the art of getting others to do your will. 

Someone once said LBJ ”doesn’t know how to do anything except how to make others do what he wants”

The reply was “that’s like saying a hurricane only has wind and water”.

Of course he tried to use that skill for good, right up until he met Robert MacNamara who was not only an evil motherfucker but was better at manipulation than he was, and got 150,000 of our boys killed for nothing.

You having your looks and skills is like a baby with a .357 Magnum so be very careful right now. 

 

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I am neg, a total anal bottom and I think of getting fucked BB and receiving internal orgasms every day of my life for the past 20 years, which is half my so far lifetime. Doors open and others close. Perhaps the ones closing outnumber the ones opening. Mistakes happen in life and some smart alec might say that one should consider the consequences before doing risky things. But this would imply that consequences are predictable which they are not in every case and only in parts, at that. Some chasers turned poz are happier than before, some are not. But how to know how one's feelings and perceptions are going to be before eventually becoming poz? Everyone's busy with enough building sites without HIV adding to them. Everything in life has its price. And when it comes to HIV my intuition tells me that it is buying a pig in a poke.

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Guest takingdeepanal
2 hours ago, Pozlover1 said:

Of course he tried to use that skill for good, right up until he met Robert MacNamara who was not only an evil motherfucker but was better at manipulation than he was, and got 150,000 of our boys killed for nothing.

I think it was closer to 50,000 than 150,000. Sort of ironically appropriate that the OP has Dallas as part of his username for reasons which become obvious. Of course, MacNamara would have met his manipulative match in Johnson's predecessor - but that's a post which might be better discussed elsewhere (and it becomes a divergent tangent).

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On 7/21/2019 at 6:27 PM, CuriousDallas said:

I’m in the same boat as you...not on Prep, knowing I shouldn’t eat fucked bareback yet craving it mightily. I know I’m weak and tried to resist..it started out with a few guys I trusted and them every once in a while I’d get cruised in a bathroom by a hot guy and next thing I know I’m in the stall taking him raw. It moves from there to kik and Grindr. It becomes all consuming and I don’t know how to stop it.

Get on prep. Best choice I ever made. 

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