Embracing your inner Daddy

[NLbear]

When did you realise you had become a 'Daddy' and did you accept it readily or did you struggle with it?

As a bottom I never had a problem getting attention when I was in my 20s and 30s. From younger and older guys. I was attractive, had a good build and guys loved my bubble butt ass. I usually had sex with guys my own age or younger. Then I hit 40 and suddenly it looked like I was in a limbo. As a bottom I appeared to be too old for the 30s guys (or younger). But strangely enough I was apparently also too old for the older guys as well! I still had sex but a lot less than I was used to. The replies usually were I was too old or "Sorry, but I prefer a bit younger". I still had enough sex to keep me satisfied but I thought my sexlife was slowly coming to an end.

Then, in my late 40s I suddenly started getting messages from young guys: ""Fuck me Daddy" "I want your Daddy dick" and so on. Obviously the guys hadn't read my profile which clearly stated I was a bottom. But apart from that I was shocked to be called 'Daddy'. I had never thought of myself as a Daddy. I was getting older physically but in my mind I was still that 20s/30s guy with the bubble butt. Being called a Daddy really made me feel old and and facing reality I struggled with that. Should I maybe switch roles and start topping? Naww...not for me. I was a bottom, topping had no appeal to me.

It took me a while to change my mindset and no longer picture myself as the hot young bottom guy. I no longer was that guy. If I no longer was that, could I maybe be a slutty Daddy? And I started to embrace that, presenting myself as a Daddy. It was not a role I could change overnight, I had to grow into it.

To my own surprise it changed everything. Guys older than me still (mostly) prefer younger, but I get guys my own age and a lot younger too. Apparently there are plenty of younger guys who want to fuck a Daddy. I don't have a lot of anon sex but I do have a pretty reliable 'stable' of tops. Fuckbuddies ranging from 20s/30s to about my own age.

Any guys who went through the same thing? How did your transition to being a Daddy go? Not just other bottoms but tops too who found out they were suddenly considered a Daddy without realising at first.

 

[Guest]

I embraced my daddy status around 5 years ago.  That made me 49yo.  I have always had my true age on hookup sites and also my face with S&P/silver hair showing.  If someone is going to turn me down for being too old I'd rather have it happen online than once we're in person.  I feel like there's some kind of Daddy fetish going on that maybe didn't used to exist (maybe it did, but I wasn't into it lol).    I do think guys like confidence in general and it's smarter to just own it and work with what you've got    I have buddies my age who are hot, but try to say they're 39.....WTF - they look great, but let's just say that's been a ROUGH 39 years lol. 

There are still plenty of younger (AND older) guys not into me due to my age, but there are PLENTY that have no issue (thanks very much guys!! lol)  I have younger guys hit me up way more than guys my own age do.  They just start out with "hey Daddy" or something like that.  I used to not make the first move with younger guys, but I don't hesistate now that I embraced the age difference.  Now I'll just start right out offering up my Daddy load or ass depending on their position   I also love getting down and sleazy with other hot daddies - tag teaming a twink or jock type is especially hot, but one on one with other hot dads is great too.  

[Poz-Mcr]

The difficulty I find is with definitions of what is a 'daddy'. I'm of the age that would fit well into a 'daddy' category and, believe me, it's a category that I would feel particularly at home with. However, it seems, to me anyway, that age alone is not a current criteria for being a daddy. Rightly or wrongly, it feels to me that daddy is now defined by a person's body type i.e. if you don't have a tall, broad muscular body with a perfect dusting of chest hair and a huge dick then don't bother even thinking you could be accepted as a daddy.

[Qban]

It’s been about 5 years now.  Didn’t struggle with it at all, it just seemed to be the result of a natural progression that began in my early/mid 40s.  I’ve totally embraced it - buzz/shave my head, keep my body hair/pubes natural, and usually have scruff or a light beard.  I’ve been topping a lot more (although I still love getting fucked too) and honestly I don’t know whether it’s because I’m comfortable with being a daddy or because I’m older and don’t give a fuck about a lot of the stupid things I used to worry about, but my sex life is the hottest, kinkiest, most uninhibited and probably most active it’s been since I was in my 20s and I’m definitely enjoying it.

Edited July 15, 2019 by Qban

[tallslenderguy]

Great question/discussion topic NLbear.

i don't know if i will ever embrace a "daddy status."  i am a father of two sons and there is no hint of a sexual relationship there, nor is there any desire for one. "Daddy" for me is emotionally engrained as a heteronormative identity on both sides of he fence. I.e., one of the harder things for me to adjust to when bottoming  for older guys of a certain body type/appearance, over the years, was if they reminded me of my own dad.  i know the label "daddy" has a different connotation in the gay community, but i have not disassociated it's long term other meaning in my mind/emotions. 

Additionally, in the gay community, i find most guys who use the term equate daddy with top, and i tend to do that myself. In the fetish community there's a distinction of being a "boy" that i've often been categorized as... but honestly, that seems kinda silly to me especially when a guy younger than me is calling me "boy."  On the other hand, some guys have pulled off calling me "boy" and it touched something very deep when they'd encourage me or praise saying: "good boy."  Go figure?  It's definitely all emotional for me. The distinctions seem like role play to me, and i eschew role play. 

On a purely physical level, i'll hook with anyone who needs to breed. Relationally, i have found that my needs/desires have been towards guys my own age. i love plenty of younger guys, but relationally, there just isn't the connection... they're at a different stage in life and i have a hard time imagining a "lover" type relationship with a younger guy.  Though i have had plenty of FB type relationships with younger guys, the "daddy status" has never entered into it.