The Man Behind The Face

[losolent]

Part 1 - The Early Years

 

There are two things in life I found I liked from a young age, reading and keeping a journal. Books were my everything at a young age since they kept me out of harms way and blissfully ignorant to everything that went on around me. Was I a sensitive child, pretty much so but also very impressionable with an erratic behavioural pattern that surfaced when least expected. Secondly my journal, I discovered I had a flair for writing growing up. It was a way of expressing my thoughts and frustrations, but also secrets. Some were not my own to hold but I became the keeper of them without any one knowing. So the impressionable part of me very much shaped my upbringing, sometimes life can cause things to happen that you never thought possible or needed until they presented themselves. My life was complicated from a very young age, some would say in a bad way, others would say it was destiny and things happened for a reason.

I also had two people who played a very instrumental part in my life, one from a young age who would be by my side as we grew up then leave and come back in to my life when you believe there is no hope of finding a true path to happiness. The other person trusted his intuition about me and helped me become the confident assured person I am today. When you stand at a fork in the path and can't decide weather to go left or right, you simply go down the middle and to hell with it. Yes it will upset some people but it will force them to show their true colours and love you no matter what, hopefully that is. So who am I you may ask, you have probably seen me but never knew what lay behind the page or billboard since I keep my life very private. It doesn't matter how famous you become, the one thing you learn is never trust anyone on face value as information is power and the last thing you need is someone having power over you. That way you keep control of your life and protect those you love and hold dear to you.

But I will tell you this, my name is Tom and that is what I prefer, annoyingly my mother still insists on calling me Thomas when she is mad at me and Tommy when she is doting me. I am a 24 year old rustic blond so I have been told by photographers. At five feet nine inches tall or short depending how tall you are, I have what was described to me as the most finely sculpted face and body. Now I don't assume myself to be attractive by any means, after all I just see Tom in the mirror who is an ordinary Texan lad. But all of that will reveal itself. So I will tell you the secrets about me that my journal holds but in a way for you to understand me better and how I ended up here. The problem with me is that I lived through my journal and held things in there that could have destroyed lives and nearly did as you can never predict how a person would react. That happened when I was 20 but it changed my life in a way I never thought possible. Should I have been more careful to hide identities instead of blatantly writing them down to be discovered? Yes, but then what? Wouldn't I be living a life full of lies or where I am now. I will start were things really began to shape my life in a way I had no control over and that was when I turned 8 years old, it started when my parents finally split up.

I cried and screamed as my mother dragged me out of the house and placed me in the car with our belongings, at such a young age I had no idea why this was happening and being taken away from my father. I knew they argued and understood that their marriage was in ruins and she had to break free, but I never realised it would involve taking me with her. It's not your fault Tommy she would always tell me, but my father had put up with enough of her hard work ethic leaving him to look after me albeit I was a little out of control. I loved my father but also liked to play him up as much as possible by throwing tantrums usually when mother was out of town on business and father had his bit on the side over, he never suspected that I knew what was going on. I was an only child desperate for a sibling but that was not going to happen now. We must have drove some 50 miles to the large town where my mother worked, little did I know then that she was also seeing another man and that had become serious. Seth as it turned out was a few years older than my mother, at 30 he had dirty blond hair and stood an impressive six feet and still retained a muscular jock build from his school days, he was pretty successful with his small company and lived quite well in a sprawling ranch house in the countryside. Gradually I was introduced to him over several weekends, I didn't care much for him after all he wasn't my father. Seth was divorced and had a son who was 10 years old. At the time I paid little attention until the day my mother sat me down and explained that we were moving in to Seth's house in the country.

Not only was I contending with a new school but now I was to be uprooted again to a different place to live, strangely I had calmed down a little by this time and was studying diligently at school, I showed a love for some sport especially wrestling, you could say I had become a model child. Maybe my father was the cause of my bad tantrums and his lack of love to my mother and me. At the start of summer holidays Seth arrived and began helping my mother to move whilst I sat in my bedroom head in a book as usual. I had packed my clothes, books and Xbox as that was all I needed in life to keep me happy. Seth was unlike my father he actually showed an interest in me from what I liked reading to what sports I did at school, I was torn between my loyalties and slowly I put up a barrier between Seth and me to prevent any closeness developing, but he was persistent and told me how I would really get along with his own son Brad who was 2 years older than me. Personally I couldn't see how on earth we would connect and it is what scared me the most, as much as I yearned for a sibling I never bargained on getting an older one. I carried my book out to his black BMW X5 which towered above me, for a eight year old I was fit and healthy albeit just five foot five inches with hopefully more growing to do, it still seemed like a big climb as I heaved myself in to the back seat and settled down. I was also trendy for my age with the latest haircut of buzzed sides and longer on top that was neatly combed, I took pride in my appearance as I knew it would help me get the right girls as school. Being gay or even thinking about it never crossed my mind but life has a way of turning your hand over before your eyes so I found out. My mother said goodbye and I panicked looking at her but she smiled and said she was following on in her car as there was no room for me to sit in there. I opened my book and stuck my head firmly in to it, I had never been alone with Seth and it was going to be 40 minute drive out of town. Briefly I looked up with what must have been eyes full of fear as Seth sat in the drivers seat and he glanced at me through the rear view mirror switching the engine on.

Seth backed the car out of the short drive "It will be okay Tom" he said pulling away from my home.
I watched out of the window as we moved away from my familiar surroundings "Really?" I replied.
"You and Brad will get on just fine and he is excited to meet you" Seth said glancing in the mirror.
I looked over at the mirror to see his eyes looking at me "Right" I said and faced back to the window.
"You said you like wrestling at school Tom?" Seth asked me trying to engage me in conversation.
"Yes" I replied without moving my head as a tear rolled down my cheek in sadness leaving things behind again.
Seth smiled "Brad does wrestling and likes to work out so you have something in common" his eyes watching me.
"Great" I replied emotionless wiping the tear from my cheek, the rest of the journey was silent.
The car stopped "This is Medina Ranch" Seth said coming round to the boot of the car and opening it.
"You have to be fucking kidding me, where the fuck are we?" I said kicking the gravel hard on the driveway.
Seth didn't even look at me "Use those words again and you sleep in the barn" he said smirking.
My mother pulled up in her car "Tommy what's wrong?" She asked walking towards me.
I looked at her "How could you bring me here?" I angrily asked waving my hand at the expanse of greenery.
She stopped at looked around "It's beautiful here Tommy you will love it" she said trying to calm me down.
Seth watched me walking off "Leave him, let him get it out of his system" he replied shrugging it off.
Julia turned to Seth "I really thought he would embrace this new life" she said.
Seth pulled a box out of the car "He will come around Julia".

Okay so underneath I wasn't quite the model child Seth had expected but little did I know my anger and frustration was born out of who I would eventually become as I grew older and understood myself better. In the meantime I found a quiet spot nearly half a mile from the house under some large trees where I sat down and cried my heart out, the thought of spending six long weeks with no signs of life or friends ripped through me in boiling anger. Seth took all my belongings and put them in the garage telling my mother that I needed to learn and will have to move my own belongings and grow up. My mother felt ashamed of my behaviour but Seth casually waved it off saying he had been through that with Brad. Guessing I must have been out for nearly three hours before realising that no one was coming out to look for me, hungry and thirsty I stood up and walked back towards the house, I got even more wound up and annoyed as I had got dirt on my book and frantically tried to clean it as best I could. In my tantrum I hadn't even looked at the house which stood imposingly on the plot, part single and two story sprawling ranch style it was definitely bigger than any house I had lived in, I stood looking at it with dread as it was to be my prison until I could move away, well that was how I saw it since nothing else seemed to be living around here. Walking up to the doors I opened the left one and let myself in and stood in the large entrance hall, I could hear my mother and Seth talking and walked towards the voices finding myself in the large kitchen and dining area.

"There you are Thomas" my mother said reverting to my proper name, I knew she was angry.
I looked at them both "I've ruined my book" putting it down in front of my mother.
Seth turned the book around "I have a copy of that in the library you can read" he said looking at me.
I sat down opposite them "Thanks" I replied with a genuine tone for the first time.
My mother retrieved a plate from the refrigerator "You must be hungry Tommy" she said placing a sandwich by my side.
"I am, thanks mum" I said already devouring it as she brought me a fruit juice as well.
"When you finished I will show you where you will be sleeping" Seth told me with a smile on his face.

Seth and my mother escorted me along a wing of the ranch house in to another lounge area that was clearly used by his son and then in to a large bedroom suite with two double beds, to be fair the room was almost as large as the apartment we had just left. It had an en-suite bathroom and wet room and overlooked the back of the house, the room angled around the pool area and my heart lifted seeing the large pool. Having never had a pool before I had not learnt to swim but the thought of being able to sit in it and paddle around made me smile. When they told me I would be sharing this area with Brad I argued to the point I upset myself realising it was a futile argument. Seth told me I would get along just fine with Brad and they turned to leave me with Seth pointing out my things are in the garage and to move them. I sat there alone putting my head in my hands cursing at my new life, I knew my mother was going away tomorrow for a couple of days with work which hastened the moving in. Residing to my fate I decided to make the best of a bad thing, I mean how much worse can it get. Eventually I found the garage and started moving my things in to the room, I was getting hot and sticky with all the walking and unpacking, I stripped off down to my shorts as I began unpacking my clothes and putting them in the walk in closet on the side that was empty. Outside and unknown to me Brad had returned on his quad bike and parked it in the garage, for a 10 year old he could easily pass at being 15 or 16 due to his tall broad build that he got from his father. Inheriting the dirty blond hair and striking blue eyes he was pretty well muscled up and had a very solid build for a kid his age. He carried it off well, even the seniors at the school daren't get on his bad side, he had a wonderful relationship with his father unlike me with mine.

Brad walked in to the house and headed to the kitchen in his polite and mesmerising manner he sat and chatted with my mother until Seth said for him to go and meet me as they were going out to dinner and the housekeeper would prepare our dinner. Brad walked along the wing to his pad as he called it and saw the lounge area remained as when he left it that morning. He waited watching for his father and my mother to leave before he walked towards the bedroom, it was quiet apart from the clanging of coat hangers coming from closet. He looked at the bed seeing a few books strewn across it, he had never shown any inclination or interest in reading books unless he had to for school. He turned and walked towards the closet, standing at the doorway, I was unaware of Brad's presence or that he was scrutinising me from behind.

"You like being in the closet" Brad asked making me jump that I missed the rail to hang a shirt on.
I quickly turned frightened "Fuck don't creep up on me like that" were the first words out of my mouth.
Brad's eyes looked at me trying to figure me out "Didn't mean to scare you" he said
I could see the muscles in his arms and thought twice about hitting back "I'm Tom" I said shyly.
"I'm not stupid I know who you are" he turned and left me in the closet.
I walked in to the bedroom "I never asked to be here, so don't take it out on me" I said picking my books up.
Brad was taking his t-shirt off "Yeah well were both stuck with this".
I guess I must have been staring at him before I asked "How did you get so big?" then blushing at my upfront nature.
Brad looked at me with his head to one side sizing me up "Working out and a muscle building compound".

I nodded and went back to my unpacking, he ignored me listening to the music on his phone. Finally I finished after checking the clothes were hanging in an order that I liked and wiped my brow from the humidity. I had a quick shower to cool down and decided to look outside since Brad showed no sign of wanting to show me around. All I wanted to see really was the pool and I wasn't disappointed as it was large and plenty of shallow water at one end, I did a quick look around and took my reefs off and paddled in the shallow end for a few minutes enjoying the cool water over my submerged feet.

"You can go in if you want" Brad said standing at the French doors watching me.
I felt a little shame "No it's okay" I replied without looking at him.
"Can you not swim?" he asked me walking out and joining me as I paddled.
I hesitated "No" I said quietly not wanting to embarrass myself "I want to but never had a pool where I lived".
Brad sat down on the edge of the pool dangling his feet in "I can teach you if you want".
I looked at him but he was staring at the water "Really, you would?" I asked him surprised.
Brad looked over at me "Yeah, well we got all summer vacation and there isn't much to do around here".
I walked over and sat beside him "Thanks, and will you help me get muscle like yours?" I nervously asked.
Brad laughed "If you want but it's hard work" he said nudging me "What are you going to do for me?" he asked.
I chuckled "I have nothing to offer, I like reading and playing on my Xbox" I said to him.
Brad smiled at me "You can read to me" he replied "you know the books I have to read for school, you can read them to me".

That was the moment that we became friends, not quite step-brothers just then, but friends was a good place to start. The first few days I had terrible stomach ache as my body adjusted to the high protein muscle building compound, I think Brad got quite a lot of enjoyment seeing me running to the toilet. He told me not to worry and it will settle down in a few days, he introduced me to the gym by the pool house and got me lifting weights for half an hour in the morning and evening. True to his words he began to teach me to swim and by the end of the summer vacation I was at least no longer afraid of deep water and could happily manage a couple of lengths of the pool without loosing my breath. A week into our new found friendship Brad invited me to go for a ride on his quad bike, he packed some fruit and water along with a book in to his rucksack and gave it to me to put on my back. I was a little scared as I had never been on this type of bike but he drove slowly with me clasping him tightly in case I fell off we drove for about 20 minutes, passing fields and wooded areas until we hit an open expanse where I could see a line to trees and bushes stretching as far as the eye could see. Coming to a stop we walked a few meters in to the clearing by a shallow river the flowed gently meandering out of sight.

"This is the Medina river" he said taking the rucksack off my back.
I looked around "It's really pretty here" I said taking it all in.
Brad smiled sitting down on the edge of the stream "My favourite little hideaway, the ranch is named after it".
"Ah right" I replied sitting next to him.
He pulled the book out of the rucksack and handed it to me "Your end of the bargain now" he chuckled.
I took the book and laid on my stomach "Okay" I replied.

I have to admit I started to find it intoxicating being here, the gentle sound coming from the water in the river flowing over the pebbles, the sun beating down and reading aloud was my idea of paradise, I even left my hair messed up from wearing the baseball cap. I kept looking at Brad when turning the page of the book, his eyes were closed hand clasped behind his head, whenever I stopped reading he would open one eye to check on me causing me to giggle several times. There was no doubt about him as rough and tough as he was on the outside he was a very different person underneath. I must have read nearly a hundred pages before he put his hand on the book to stop me reading and handed me some fruit and water. We walked in the stream hardly saying anything to each other until we returned back to our spot where he handed me the book again, I read a further 3 chapters before I put the book down and laid on my back looking up at the dappled sunlight coming through the trees. The rustling in the trees signified a change coming, Brad only to aware jumped up and packed the rucksack telling me there was a storm coming in, something that was quite usual for this time of day when the heat rose sharply like it had during the afternoon. Sure enough just a few hundred meters from the ranch house the heavens opened as the wind picked up in velocity driving the rain in to our faces. The storm lasted for an hour before the sun appeared again. We stood in the garage soaking wet and just laughed as puddles began forming at our feet, from that day we found our sense of humour to be very similar.

A few days later at lunchtime we were heading out to the Medina River again, today the sun was already blazing hot in the sky so I sat down right the waters edge so I could dangle my feet in the water to cool them down as I read aloud to Brad, he sat a little further up so I could only see his legs, after an hour I turned on to my stomach and laid down resting on my elbows continuing to read. He did make me laugh seeing him chilled out chewing on a long stem grass, his eyes closed hands clasped behind his head. We walked a mile down the stream and back again before heading home, this afternoon was different as we chatted a little more finding our feet with each other. As the days passed we spent more and more time together bonding and enjoying working out then spending afternoons at the Medina river. By the time the vacation ended I was ready to return to school, it was my first day as this new school, as nervous as I was there was nothing to worry about as I fitted in straight away, Brad looked after me since we had become inseparable over the summer vacation. Those long summer days turned me in to a somewhat confident swimmer, I was beginning to show some muscle tone which I loved and many kids in my class commented over. Never would I realise how much of a catch I was to the girls and was never short of attention from them in my year and even some of the senior girls flirting with me. One thing I was probably more dumbstruck by was hearing them remark how attractive I was. It got worse as I aged, well I thought so anyway, it seemed almost all the school wanted to hang out with Brad and I, himself turning in to quite the muscle jock now having hit puberty. I felt a little overawed by all the friends and attention but there was something missing and that something was slowly beginning to show it's hand the older I got. It did take a couple of summers before Brad actually referred to me as his step-brother, after our parents married he began referring to me as his brother and it was this milestone that I articulated in my journal.

I would usually write my journal sitting by the stream I found it gave me more flair when transferring my thoughts to paper. Brad would often sit there watching as I wrote, he knew I kept a journal and read it once when I fell asleep but he got bored as it contained nothing of interest at that point. It was from them I began hiding it and only writing when something needed to be downloaded out of my head, it had become my secret keeper. My reading to Brad had got him interested in books and studying and he did rather to well in his final years and won a place at a university some 300 miles away. Our years together were for the most part idyllic and every summer we shut ourselves away at Medina doing our own things. Our bodies changed but we both retained our looks and I grew from strength to strength with Brad's help. On his 16th birthday Seth allowed Brad to get a tribal tattoo down his arm. I sat with him and Seth as the artist worked for nearly 3 hours until finished. Sitting there I realised how much Brad was growing up and beginning to show independence, I knew our summers were going to come to an end soon enough. At 17 Brad was a real crowd pleaser and was now more often out than at home, I had heard rumours at school that he was bedding girls like there was no tomorrow, when he was home we would still go to the Medina river for some peace and quiet escaping life. I relished those days as I missed him like hell and was only too happy to read to him.

At 15 I had a growth spurt and stood at my now five feet nine inches, I was pretty happy with my height, but it also caused my looks to intensify and muscle definition to proportionise itself to my body. It was several months after my birthday that I wrote down one of the most revealing feelings about me 'I feel my body has changed, I have hair appearing in places not much but enough, my voice is slightly deeper and I am beginning to feel like the boy in me is forever being lost. I like guys. Don't aske me how or why, I just do. I like their bodies, I like the masculinity of a guy who is very close to me. I never really thought I would write this down but somehow I need to express me and who I have become. I just don't seem to have any interest in girls and yes I know what this means but I am not ready for it. I need to come to accept it first and be happy about why my body and soul has gone this way. As much as I rack my brains trying to think why, there is no answer. No significance, no turning point, it has always been there waiting for the right time'. I put my pen down and watched Brad sleeping in his bed, discreetly hiding my journal as I knew that it was more important than ever to keep it hidden. I never wrote a lot down or did it on a daily basis, it was one of things I kept as a reminder of important things or situations now. I wondered if it showed on the outside that I was gay, I only questioned it as I saw less and less of Brad during that last summer before he headed off to university. It seemed his new friend residing in his pants was busy around and he started dating the head cheerleader from the school, Melinda.

It was to put it bluntly my year of turmoil, I felt like my gut had been wrenched out the day he finally left. I knew he wanted to break free and be his own person. He left me fighting my demons, I was literally destroying myself inside out and it was after my 16th birthday I sat down for dinner, I plucked up the courage to discuss it with my mother and Seth since they had noticed I was becoming more introverted during this time but they put it down to Brad leaving home. Opening up to them about my feelings seemed to lift a massive burden off my shoulders, my mother was sceptical saying it wss just a phase where Seth appeared to have more control over the matter and I still remember his words to this day 'Don't hide or run from it, just let you discover you and who you are'. I kept my secret hidden at school and concentrated on getting my education over before deciding weather I wanted to go to college or university, rumours did surface occasionally as I had plenty of friends that were girls but never date or kissed any of them, I never acted gay or gave any one cause to question my sexuality. Not one for wanting to be away from Medina ranch I choose college and long distance studying, the benefit of which meant I could take my laptop out with me to the Medina river and study there where I didn't have to go in to college for assignments, tests and exams.

So it wasn't all that bad coming out to my mother and Seth, they just let me get on with it. I was surprised that Seth would without fail every week sit down and chat with me about how I was feeling, I looked on him as more of a father than my blood father who I hadn't seen since the break up. Seth was reasonable and considerate, never judging me but always supporting and being there if I needed help. The year dragged by and Brad returned home for the summer vacation, he entered the house like a whirlwind and swooped me up in his arms hugging me.

"God I missed you Tom" Brad said putting me down.
I hugged him back "It's so lonely without you here" I replied.
"Well I am here for several weeks book worm" he said using his nick name for me.

It didn't take long for our routine to slip in to place, only now it just felt awkward as I was hiding the real me from him. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him, I didn't really know why at the time but I thought it would be best to keep that part of me in the shadows. All to soon his few weeks at home had come to an end and that last evening I heard Seth and Brad having a very stern discussion in the library. It was pretty fiery so I made my way back to our room and listened to some music reading a book. When Brad turned up he seemed his cheery self and said nothing about the argument going on, he showered and changed then headed out to meet his latest girl. A few days later when I asked how Brad was doing just out of normal conversation I got a strange look from Seth. He would not talk much about Brad just that he was doing okay, I knew he had gone to university several times to talk to him, and I overheard him and my mother talking about Brad's disciplinary hearing but nothing was ever said directly to me. I had no idea what was going on or what trouble he had gotten himself into.

I had just celebrated my 18th birthday and was studying on the pool terrace late one morning when I heard Seth in the kitchen cursing to himself and grabbing his keys, I heard him talking to my mother on the phone to say he was having to drive up to the university. By the time I got to the kitchen he had already stormed out leaving the letter from the universities disciplinary committee on the counter top. My mistake or maybe it wasn't, I picked up the letter and read it. I couldn't believe the words of the last paragraph 'As such situations arise when a student is in possession of any form of drug the course of action is to expel them from the campus and forfeit their position. Whilst the committee have noted that no further action is being taken by the relevant law enforcement agencies we are in no doubt of possession and intended use or distribution and as such the student has been expelled. The committees decision is final and will not entertain any appeal to review'. It was almost like a standard letter but I felt really sorry how his life had spiralled out of control in this manner. Seth returned later that evening tired and upset, I listened at the door as he told my mother that Brad refused to see him point blank. I walked in to the lounge and they both stopped talking.

"Are you going to tell me what is going on with Brad?" I asked standing my ground.
Seth shrugged his shoulder "There is no point Tom, he won't see or speak to anyone" he replied.
I sat down next to Seth "How bad is it?" I asked him.
Seth looked at my mother "He has been expelled, he needs help but he can't see that or accept it".

That evening was one of the longer entries in to my journey as I was troubled all night, when I woke early that Saturday morning I sneaked down to Seth's BMW and turned the key and looked at the SatNav which gave me a location near enough to where Brad was staying. I got my keys and sped down the ranch driveway and headed to Dallas, I almost stopped several times wondering if I was doing the right thing but I kept going on the 5 hour drive. I knew I was in the right place but I had no idea which building he was in, I stopped a student wandering by just on the off chance and asked if they knew Brad Felshaw, he laughed and said yeah building 2c Room 235. I rushed over not knowing what I was going to say to him as I reached the door, I knocked three times but waited to hear if there was any movement when another student walked past and smiled 'good luck getting him to answer' they said carrying on down the corridor glancing back at me, I now banged on the door louder this time.

"Go away" he shouted through the door.
"Brad" I waited for a moment "Brad it's Tom, let me in please" I pleaded through the door.
Eventually I heard the lock clicking and he opened the door "What do you want?" he asked.
"I came to see you" I said through the crack in the opening "are you going to let me in?".
Brad was reluctant "Did my father send you here?" he asked.
"No, he doesn't know I have driven here" I replied, he hesitated then opened the door inviting me in.
He looked dishevelled and not the Brad I knew "What the fuck has happened to you?" I asked closing the door.
Brad sat on the bed head in his hands "I lost control and fucked up really bad this time".
I sat down next to him "Everyone is worried about you Brad. It hurts to see you like this".
"Like what?" he asked in an angry tone.
"This is not you, not the Brad I grew up with" I replied looking at him.
He stared at me "Your not the Tom I grew up with are you?" he stated in a matter of fact way.
I looked down "It hasn't change me Brad, I haven't come to terms with it myself" I said shyly.
"Is that so?" Brad replied somewhat confused.
I took a deep breath "Come home with me, I will sneak you in and look after you".
He looked at me "I can't deal with my father he is so angry with me" he said looking sad.
I put my arm around him "He is not angry Brad, just upset and very concerned" I assured him.
Brad stood and paced around "Are you sure you want to do this Tom?" he asked.
I looked at him "Are you an addict?" I asked.
He shot me a look "No, I only did it 4 or 5 times" he paused "but I am getting drawn to it".

I don't know how I did it but he agreed to come home with me after I promised not to let anyone know until he was ready to face them. He slept for most of the journey back home, I could have sworn he cried a little or at least his eyes watered seeing Medina Ranch at the end of the access road. He slid down in his seat to avoid being seen as I drove in the garage. I checked the house to make sure the coast was clear and walked with brad down the wing to our end of the house. Telling him to shower and as he did I quickly rifled through his bag to make sure there was nothing hiding in there and also the clothes he had worn home. I kind of felt guilty and didn't really know what I was doing, his hand grabbed my arm tightly 'there is nothing there' he said letting me go again, he certainly hadn't lost any of his muscle or strength. Something inside me caused me to stand up and face him, I was speechless and I couldn't work out if I got a kick out of him touching me aggressively like that. He backed off in obvious concern at what he did. At 20 Brad was a walking sex machine and it was hard to keep my gaze from looking at his body, I had still yet to explore my sexuality but I knew he definitely aroused me. I tried to keep a close reign on my preference for the male body whilst living in small town Texas, the last thing I wanted was to be out and branded like the cattle in this state.

He looked at me "I'm sorry if I hurt you" Brad said drying his hair.
"Promise me you have none of it here?" I asked watching him look me in the eye nodding.
Brad slipped in to his bed "Promise me you won't let on?" he asked resting his head on the pillow.
I looked at the sight of him staring at the ceiling "You have my word Brad" I replied picking up a book, I knew I would have to keep a very close eye on him.
Sitting on the bed next to him he smiled for the first time "You going to read to me?".
I nodded "Yes that's if you don't mind me sitting on the bed next to you?" I replied.
Brad smiled "Of course I don't" he said getting comfortable.

It took me by surprise and at first I wasn't sure if it was him accepting what he knew about me or just the brotherly part coming through. I read to him for an hour until he was sound asleep, it was only 8pm so I crept out and had dinner with Seth and my mother, it didn't take long for the conversation got around to where I had been all day and I told them at the Medina river and also headed in to town to see a friend. As far as I know they hadn't suspected a thing and after dinner I grabbed some fruit and went back to the bedroom to find Brad still sound asleep. I kept the curtains closed that overlooked the terrace and the French doors locked. I can't recall what time it was but I was woken by the sound of Brad, I could make out that he was sitting on the edge of his bed shaking and panting. Thankfully I had done some research on the internet after I returned to my room and believed this to be his body reacting to a lack of whatever drug he had taken. I turned on the bed side lamp and could see he was also sweating. I walked over and asked him what I could do to help but he looked at me like a helpless child tears streaming down his face. Trust me I said helping him stand up and took him in to the wet room and turned on the cold water, I sat next to him in the shower letting the cold water cascade over the both of us until his shaking ceased. I helped dry him and took him back in to the bedroom to my bed and laid next to him, so much of me wanted to cuddle him in this fragile state, he looked at me and quietly said thank you and falling back to sleep. I watched him as long as I could until my body surrendered and my eyes closed.

I had one of the best night sleeps that I could remember, waking up I found my body was being held and my eyes snapped open. His arms were wrapped around me and he was cuddled up very close, to close for comfort was my initial diagnoses. Escaping was the first thing in my head, then the awkwardness of this as me moving would certainly wake him up and he may freak out. I laid there silently for several minutes until Brad shuffled and turned over releasing me from his arms. Silently I crept out of bed and let him sleep, picking up my journal I wrote a few words 'Woke feeling like I had a perfect sleep. Shaken I found my step-brothers arms wrapped around me, his body touching mine. Disturbing to say the least but somehow I find myself turned on as my whole body seemed to be in a state of flux'. I hid the journal and showered, when I came back in to the room Brad was awake and just acted normally. I came to the conclusion that he probably didn't even know, for the most part Brad seemed to be returning and the next few days I studied and didn't leave his side except to fetch food. Keeping him hidden seemed pretty easy and his withdrawal symptoms vanished which confirmed my suspicion that he had probably told me the truth. I guess I got to cocky at this hiding Brad game and he slid down in the seat of the car as I backed out of the garage and drove us to the Medina river again.

I sat down on the banks and started reading, Brad laid on his stomach his head inches from the water resting on his hands watching the water flowing by. He wore only shorts taking his t-shirt off as we arrived since it was another scorching day. It was very distracting, I just wanted to touch and hold the body laying there, it was so perfect and the temptation to tickle his bare feet his toes wriggling in the sun crossed my mind. Refocusing I continued reading for an hour then we waded in the river and walked for a couple of hours. On the walk back to our spot Brad put his arm around my shoulder, something he hadn't done since we were younger. I felt like our bond was stronger than ever having faltered when he found out what his cock was for and put it to use. I rummaged in the rucksack and gave Brad some fruit and a bottle of water, if people saw us now they would think we were a perfect couple. I grabbed the book and sat down on the waters edge, before I could even get it open he had sat down behind me, his legs either side of my body and his arms wrapped around my body with his chin resting on my shoulders. It was one thing accidentally cuddling me in bed but this felt strangely weird but I carried on and opened the book to the page where we had got to the previous evening, he watched me leafing through to the pages but my mind was elsewhere as my body tingled by his touch.

"Can't believe how much you have grown up and changed Tom" Brad said as he watched me turning the pages.
I smiled but didn't look at him "We have both grown up Brad".
Brad rubbed his chin on my shoulder "Yeah but at least you didn't screw up like me" he sighed.
I looked up at the sky "I am just as screwed up if not more but in other ways".
Brad stopped and looked at me "You are far from screwed up Tom, your confronting things head on" he said.
"Well it's my turn to return the favour, you looked after me growing up" I said reminding him.
Brad chuckled and waved it off "Was it hard, you know growing up feeling the way you do?" he asked me.
"What way?" I asked oblivious to what he meant.
Brad rubbed his chin on my shoulder again "You being gay" he said, I was slightly taken back.
I turned and looked at him "It still is, I try to work out why but I end up even more confused" I said looking at the book.
Brad ruffled my hair "Your still Tom to me. It is what is in here that defines you" he said tapping my heart.
I sighed "I'm so lucky having you as a brother, as fucked up as you are" I laughed more out of nerves than anything.
His hands hugged me tighter "You have helped me so much Tom. And now?" he whispered "Have you a boyfriend?".
I stared at the words on the pages "No" I replied "How come you haven't got a girl?".
"Don't know" Brad said "Melinda was mediocre for sex but she was getting to needy and I got nothing out of it".
Brad lifted his head "Stop changing the subject. Why haven't you got a boyfriend?" he asked.
I sighed "I am not ready to explore yet" I replied, it was the truth as I had no courage or even knew where to start.
Brad hugged me tighter "Who ever get's you will be one lucky person. Come on then read to me" he said.

I wondered if I was becoming a bit of a shady pervert as I settled back in to his arms reading the book. It is a strange feeling when your step-brother is the closet another man has ever got to you, sitting here time just seemed to get away from us. We hadn't realised how late it got and headed back home, no further mention was made by either of us about that afternoon, assuming it was just us rekindling our brotherly love for each other. I checked the coast was clear and we wandered down the east wing of the ranch house in our lounge and found Seth sat there waiting for us. Brad stopped dead in his tracks and Seth stood up and walked towards Brad, I didn't know what to expect, I stood ready to defend him. Seth looked at his son and hugged him, Brad kept apologising for screwing everything up, he told Brad he was just happy to his son back.

Seth looked at me "Thank you Tom" he said.
I put the rucksack down "I'm sorry for going behind everyone's back".
Seth walked over and hugged me "You had us worried behaving weirdly at first".
"You knew?" I asked Seth who nodded.
"They described you and your car as taking Brad away from campus" Seth said to me as I stood looking ashamed.

It was obvious Seth was pleased that I managed to get through to Brad when no one else could. As Brad slept I retrieved my journal from the hiding place and wrote things in there again that should never have been down on paper... 'A strange yet weirdly happy day as we went to the river only this time I felt like I was sat there with a lover. His hands around my waist and head resting on my shoulders. I know this is my step-brother but sometimes feelings are stronger than actions and he wakens me in a very extraordinary way'. I looked debating weather I should have written this but my journal was holding the true me, quickly I hid it away again. Brad was left alone in my company for a week partaking in meals with the family in the evening for as long as he could tolerate it. At night I would read to him and we often fell asleep in the same bed, it was as if we were 8 and 10 again. Brad got his life together and started working for his father whilst finishing his education.

So that was me growing up and how I helped my step-brother through his problem, oh, and fell in love with him. The table would turn in a few years time but that was something I could never have seen coming, especially when your so blinded by what you think is love but in reality was the opposite. I became the closest friend to Brad as well, we would tell each other everything and before you ask, no I didn't write those in my journal. I knew they were things best kept between us. Part of me was broken but happy when Brad started seeing Melinda again in this on off story of theirs, so much so that it became probably the most serious relationship for the time being. As if you hadn't guessed by now, Brad was the first instrumental person in my life, he shaped me as the person as we grew up together in a very unshakable way. We stuck to each other like glue and did everything together.

My life really took shape and turned upside down a week before my 19th birthday celebrating a belated 18th birthday present, and this is where my story really begins to unfold...

[evilqueerpig]

Brilliant and engaging, as always!

[BoYGaSM]

WOW....   This should become a book.  I truly became immersed in your story...  something that a story has failed to achieve in a very long time with me.  THANK YOU!

[Tallguy1982]

Awesome so far. I’m hoping this one goes as long as The Gifted Virgin

[jeff238]

Cant wait to see what unfolds

[losolent]

Part 2 - Belated 18th Birthday Present

 

Finally we left for LA and my 18th birthday present was for us all to spend a week in California enjoying the beach and sights. It was exciting but in reality it wasn't the Medina river where Brad and I both loved the solitude it afforded us. Still this was an adventure and we stayed in one of the posher hotels in LA close to Santa Monica beach. Not bad I joked to Brad as this was the first time I had left Texas or even ventured this far from Medina, excluding my rescue of Brad in his hour of need. That afternoon we spent on the beach, our parents strolled along the beach for an hour or so and Brad and I laid in the sun and swam in the ocean. It really was a world away from our lives that were very simple in context to how hectic and busy the next couple of days would be. We fitted in two movie studio tours and some of the popular touristy bits. Always coming back at the end of the day to the amazing swimming pool and comfy loungers on the terrace. The weekend we all decided would be spent chilling out at the hotel or beach and dining as a family. For me it was the best present ever mostly due to Brad being with us and importantly me, we spent all the time together.

That Sunday afternoon I stayed out by the pool, luckily I was a person who tanned quite evenly unlike some of the lobsters walking around. Brad and our parents had gone to the hotel bar for some shade and a cool drink, I had a niggly feeling I was being watched and did a quick glance around, everyone seemed to be minding their own business and not necessarily looking at me. I dived in to the pool and swam a few lengths at a leisurely pace then climbed out and walked towards my lounger, standing there letting the sun drying me off I was facing the restaurant and outdoor seating on the terrace above me. The woman ascending the steps from the restaurant caught my eye she was smartly dressed and very business like in her appearance and reaching the bottom it looked like she was walking towards me. She walked past clearly having a good look at my face any body then she doubled back and stood in front of me.

"I'm sorry to be so forward but you caught my eye and trust me that doesn't happen usually" she said.
I looked at her "Caught your eye?" replying and looking at her a little confused.
"Forgive me" she said "I'm Patricia Manon from Manon International Models" she held out her hand.
Not sure what this was about I shook her hand "Tom, just Tom from Texas" she smiled and handed me her card.
"Have you ever considered modelling?" she asked me.
I shook my head "No why would I?" I replied chuckling.
"You are perfect, your facial features and your body is perfect" she said looking me up and down.
"Oh right" was all I could say.
"Pop by my office at 10am tomorrow, I would like to get some photos if your interested" she smiled at me.
I looked at the card "Oh, well I am here on holiday with my family" I said trying to hand the card back.
She refused to take it "Seriously think about it Tom from Texas" she smiled and walked off.

Amused I looked at the card and picked up my things to find the rest of my family at the bar. Putting the card down on the table I explained to them about what had just happened. Brad was the first to encourage me to go and that he would come along with me as a chaperone. My mother agreed with Brad and said that she and Seth wanted to go shopping anyway and that I was old enough to make my own decisions and should take the opportunity even if nothing happens it will be an experience. Convinced that it would just be a day out and something to laugh about tomorrow evening we made plans and looked on our phones to make sure we knew how to get to the offices.

Brad chuckled as we stood outside the building gently pushing me to go through the doors to the reception. The receptionist explained that only I was allowed up to the floor where Manon International were based, Brad said he would have a wander around and grab a coffee. He pulled me back and sternly he told me to call if I wanted out, I nodded unsure why I was feeling very nervous as my life was not depending on this, modelling was the furthest thing I wanted to do and shook off the feeling getting in the elevator up to the 10th floor. The doors opened and I stepped out in to another world, everyone was dressed in what looked like tailored designer clothing, perfect make up and hair styles, the few men I saw wore shiny fitted suits groomed to within an inch of their life. then there was me in my shorts and t-shirt wearing reefs. If anyone looked out of place then hello over here I seemed to scream come look at me and sure enough many people looked down their noses passing me by. The reception was manned by a young guy in his mid 20's who I assumed was gay judging by his mannerisms and the way he looked at man walking past his desk who had a very arrogant 'do you know who I am' look  and obviously a model. I walked up to his desk and saw the plaque with his name 'Steve' written on it.

"Excuse me" I said interrupting him typing an email out, he turned his head and continued typing.
Steve looked me up and down "Were not casting at present" he said returning to his screen.
Hell what now I thought standing there until he looked again "I'm sorry I was asked to come here" I said quietly.
Steve's fingers stopped moving over his keyboard and he stood up and looked at my shorts and reefs "Oh".
He picked up the phone looking directly at me "Patty I think this Tom from Texas is here" he said to the phone.
Nodding at the phone "Okay" he said and hung up "Take a seat over there" he told me pointing at the sofa.

I walked over and noticed from the reflection in the shiny wall behind the sofa that Steve was watching me very carefully. Sitting down I caught his eyes briefly then he turned and tapped away and answered several calls. His eyes continued to bore in to me when he wasn't typing on his computer. After five minutes Patricia came out of her office.

"Tom you came, I am so thrilled you decided to come Tom" Patricia said walking over to me.
I stood up holding my hand out "Well I have nothing on this morning" I stupidly said then smiled at her.
Patricia laughed "Don't be nervous Tom, how about getting some photos" she said then guided me down the hall.

We entered a door marked Studio A, it looked like one of those loft conversion places but segregated in to a few different scenes and a screen in one corner hiding another part of the studio. There was a photographer shooting a female model who I didn't really think was very nice as he called the model out several times 'Chloe if your not going to pull yourself together get out of the studio' was one remark I heard him say. Instantly I thought if this is how it is I might as walk as I don't need someone like that badgering me. Patricia took me to where the screen was and to wait for a moment. I could hear her talking to the photographer who she called Eddie, Patricia popped back round telling him he would be done in 5 fives and offered me a coffee. I declined feeling sick and unsure what I was letting myself in for.

"Tom this is Eddie who will be shooting you for an hour" Patricia said introducing him appearing round the screen.
Eddie nodded at me but without really looking "A new one, you got to be kidding me Patty" he said disappearing again.
Patricia smiled "Photographers Tom, just ignore him he is quite temperamental when working" she said.
It did nothing to quell my fear "I don't want to do this" I said standing up.
"Nonsense Tom, you must be intrigued as you came here" she said handing me some white briefs.
Nervously I took them "You want me to wear these?" I asked her looking shocked.
Patricia laughed "Of course we need to see how you transpire on film" she said "don't worry".

She disappeared round the other side of the screen leaving me holding the briefs, brief they were and very revealing. Debating for a moment and hearing her having words with Eddie to be nicer to me as he was frightening me off, I decided to do it and quickly changed. Eddie appeared and looked me over making me even more nervous, it also gave me the opportunity to study him in more detail. I guessed he was in his early 30's and pretty attractive, tattooed and muscled with dark cropped hair he wore a stubble and stood a couple inches taller than me. In the beginning he showed no interest in me, but then why would he I thought. All he saw was yet another model he was going to have to contend with, in his own right he was quite formidable and didn't take any crap from the models he was shooting, after all it was his work that made them. Fortunately I managed to supress my urge to vomit and run following him out to the staging area. It didn't take long for him to get annoyed with me as I didn't understand what he was asking me to do. Patricia came over and helped moving my body to the poses he wanted. She explained that I would get some training so I knew how to react to the camera if I was taken on, nodding in Eddie's direction she told me he was the best and bear with him. It felt like hours being photographed but in reality it was no more than 45 minutes, during this time I could see Patricia and Eddie looking at a screen as the images came up, they would both nod and quietly talk. Every now and then she would smile and look at Eddie who would smile back then look at me quickly.

"Thanks Tom that was great" Eddie said without looking at me "we are all done".
I just sat there like an idiot for a moment "What do I do now?" I asked.
Eddie looked up and laughed "Go and get changed dude, then wait outside Patricia's office" he said.

Yeah okay I admit I didn't want to leave as I was quite happy looking at Eddie in his tight t-shirt and wanted to lick him all over. Somehow I got up and found myself behind the screen getting changed, as I left the studio Eddie looked up and said good bye and see you soon, before I could reply he had turned back to the female model and continued photographing her. Steve her assistant smiled and brought me a coffee over being more friendlier than he was when I arrived. Patricia called from her office and her assistant looked at me and said to go through.

"Please sit down Tom" she said as I entered her office "how did it feel?" she asked.
I looked confused "How did what feel?" I replied.
"Being photographed extensively like that?" she said holding large photographic prints in her hand.
"Oh, just like having loads of selfies taken, I didn't expect I would be in underwear" I laughed.
She looked up and smiled "Well I think we may be able use some of these in your portfolio".
I looked at her "Is that a good thing?" I asked unsure where this was going.
Patricia nodded "It's a start, I may need you to come back in a couple of weeks, your expenses will be paid".

She stood in an obvious your dismissed way, walking me to the elevator she placed the prints on the assistants desk and I said good bye having given Steve my contact details, I pressed the ground floor button watching the doors close as she turned away clearly seeing Steve having a good look at my photos.

"Oh my god Patty" Steve said looking up at her.
Patricia smiled "He has no idea Steve. Get a portfolio together and circulate it" she said "today that is".

Oblivious to what was taking place up there the elevator stopped at the ground floor and the doors opened, smiling I saw Brad was waiting with two coffees. He laughed and pretended to walk like a model towards me making me laugh. We left to walk back to the hotel and I told him how things went, how I felt like a fish out of water, what I had to wear and how rude the photographer was. We walked for ages and kind of glad to be outside feeling the sun beating down on me until we arrived back at the hotel. It felt so good spending this much time with Brad as I always felt at ease and comfortable around him. We had become even more close if that was possible and it turned out as we got older we liked many of the same things in life. The only annoying thing about him was his attempt to get me to have sex with any guy who looked at us, constantly he would rib me and tell me to start enjoying life more. When I had my head turned he would literally start pushing me back trying to get me to engage the person in conversation, just in case they swung my way. But on the inside I was still to unsure about myself and lacked the self confidence. The one thing that struck me was when we walked along the beach front and people often looked at us and smiled, especially as he always had his arm around my shoulder and we were laughing. They would clearly take us as being a couple and he didn't seem to mind it one bit and often played the part laughing afterwards. If you were clever you could read between the lines but I never saw it from my perspective. We spent the last few days relaxing and travelling down the coast visiting San Diego and stopping at various places along the route, at La Jolla we walked along the beach where I felt a certain kind of belonging imaging myself living here and literally falling in to the sea from one of the beach side houses that looked incredibly expensive.

Was I sad to be leaving LA after our week, naturally as I had found a love for the beach and not so humid weather we had back in Texas, but you know, it wasn't Medina and it didn't have the beauty and tranquillity of the countryside. I got back in to my studies and returned to the ranch at lunchtime several days after our return. Everyone was out at work and the ranch house was empty apart from the housekeeper, I ran in shouting hello and filling my rucksack with fruit and water. Since the sun was out it was a perfect day to read up about my next course beside the river. The housekeeper Maria called out telling me a package had arrived on the mail table in the entrance hall. I wandered out and picked up the thick envelope it was post marked Manon International. I had almost forgotten anything would come of it, I took it back to our bedroom putting it on the bed and headed off to the river. Returning home later that afternoon Brad and Seth were already home, completely forgetting about my delivery I went straight in to the kitchen and family room grabbing a soda I sat down chatting with them. Brad and I headed to our bedroom to shower and change, we were at that stage where our parents had talked about giving us separate rooms. To my surprise Brad was the one dead set against the idea explaining that we were both happy living in the wing, I didn't seem to get a say in this but frankly I didn't mind as I really enjoyed his company and it kept me grounded. Brad stripped naked and went first then I followed taking slightly longer, it was times like this when you want to taste the forbidden fruit. Seeing him naked I loved how his body looked and the naturalness about his looks, I could see the results of his working out again since returning from university. He wasn't built like Eddie was and reflecting Eddie's build was way to muscular for me, but Brad, he was just perfect and it made my heart ache. Showering and thinking about Brad had got me aroused, think nasty thoughts I said myself trying to get me cock down. When I returned in to the bedroom drying myself I noticed Brad holding the package that came earlier.

"You haven't opened this yet" he said handing it to me.
I sat on the bed holding the package and looking at it "No, I don't know if I want to" I replied.
Brad sat next to me "What are worried about Tommy" he asked putting his arm around my shoulder.
I looked at him "The unknown, what if this changes my life and do I want it".
For the first time Brad kissed me on the forehead "I will always be here for you and protect you Tom" he said.
I gave a little sigh "Yeah, until you have settled down with Melinda" I replied.
Brad ignored the response "Well you going to open it then?".
 
Nodding I opened the package and took the folder out that contained a letter on the cover from Patricia. My mouth dropped open as I got in to reading the letter and opened the folder to find a contract inside for one year with a salary of $50k and a clause underneath I didn't understand, it took Seth having a look to explain that the deal gets better if you become a popular model he said with some scepticism. But he told me it was my decision but whatever I decide I must not throw my education away and keep studying. That night Brad had gone in to town to see Melinda so I returned alone to our bedroom, I was tired and leaned over from the bed retrieving my journal it's hiding place. Opening it to a new page I wrote 'It seems like ages since I downloaded what has been going on in my head or life. Next week I fly to LA and do some test shoots for modelling, yeah I know crazy right, but this woman seemed to think I had the looks and persuaded me to try it out. Hands up I am not expecting anything, in fact I don't really want to do it as it means being away from Medina, the one place where I actually feel safe and free. We spent a week in LA which is how I got hunted would be the word to describe the unusual set of circumstances. Anyway it was a great week and I got to spend so much time with Brad and do the things we like to do. I feel more and more for him but my feelings are best kept hidden from him and our family, I just can't stop them as the time we spend together just feels so precious. At times I have to remind myself who he is as much as it breaks my heart I wonder if I will ever find anyone like him. I have not been the same since that day at the river when he held me so close and I can't stop picturing him and I walking in the Medina river laughing and talking without a care in the world. So next week I head off with no expectation, probably an angry photographer who is sexy in a different way. Lets see what becomes of me after this'. I hid the journal away and climbed in to bed switching the bedside light off.

The following week on Monday morning I flew over to LA for 3 days, my instructions when I entered the arrivals concourse was to look for a driver holding a sign with my name on, I suppose it was Steve's idea of a joke a man stood there with a sign 'Tom From Texas'. He ushered me towards the car and drove me to Manon International's office, I took the elevator up and surprised to see how busy it was compared to last time I was here.

Steve spotted me and laughed "You found the driver then Tom from Texas" he said walking towards me.
"Very funny" I replied following him down the corridor to Studio A "Who is the taking the pictures?" I asked him.
Steve smiled "Eddie of course, never fear Tom from Texas you don't have tattoos" he said opening the door.

What a strange remark I thought unsure what he meant by it, Patricia saw me and came hurrying over and I saw Eddie photographing a male model. Eddie turned and looked at me expressionless, he went back to the model and took a couple of snaps then threw his hands up. For one person he had a plethora of emotions that you would see in one photo shoot the grumpy, happy, irritated, irrational, elated. It was all there and you never knew what you were going to get in what order. Patricia took me behind the screen as Eddie berated the male model several times, stop smiling, smile, lift your chin, your chin stupid. I shook my head knowing this was going to be fun, already deciding if he started on me I would walk. Patricia brought over 10 polo shirts and 5 pairs of shorts, she apologised that she had meetings today but would pop by and check on me in between. Brace for impact I told myself as I changed in to the t-shirt and shorts provided, I could hear Eddie finishing.

The male model came round the screen and quickly changed "Good luck with him" he said and stormed off.
"How you doing Tom?" Eddie asked appearing around the screen "Came back for more punishment".
"Sorry, I am nearly ready" I replied getting frustrated as I didn't want to start on a bad foot with him.
Eddie put his camera down and walked towards me "Here let me help" he said straightening the collar of the polo shirt.
My eyes accidentally caught his "Thanks, will you go easy on me?" I asked in hope, he looked at me and smiled.
"Not a chance" he replied "Well maybe a little" he then said with a glint in his eyes catching me off guard.
His hand brushing against the naked skin of my neck "Why do you want me to go easy on you?" he asked.
I nervously giggled like a child "It is my first time" I quietly replied.
"I know and what else have you never done before?" he asked slowly doing the button watching me.
I was captivated by his eyes "Many things" I replied looking at his hands and tattooed arms.
"Right come on, time is money" he suddenly said snapping me back to reality.

It was definitely peculiar and maybe it was his way of getting me to relax. Anyway the shoot went well and he never got irritated with me instead he would walk over and help position me the first few times, eventually I felt a confidence to respond to him without guidance. You know Eddie really was a nice guy when you took the professionalism out of him and I actually liked working with him. Patricia had come in and sat with us for an hour, even she saw a different side to Eddie as he worked with me. At lunchtime they looked through the photos nodding and pointing I had no idea what was going on.

"What has come over you Eddie?" Patricia asked him looking at the photographs.
Eddie glanced at her "It's his first day, thought I would cut him some slack" he replied smiling.
Patricia picked a photo out "You never cut anyone slack" she replied looking over at me "Do you see it?".
Eddie nodded scratching his head "Incredible, you could shoot him from any angle it just works".

Patricia left after dropping off some more clothing and we got to work. I was tired, yeah I know, but it is exhausting standing in front of a camera all day trust me. But at 3pm Eddie called time as I was loosing focus a little, he put his camera down 'Amazing Tom' he said walking towards and patting me on the shoulders.

Sometimes crazy things come out of my mouth and this was one of them moments "I am not a dog you know".
Eddie looked then burst out laughing "What you want me to hug you instead" he asked smiling.
I didn't know what to do "No" I giggled stupidly "just thank you so I know it was okay".
Eddie turned back to his camera "Oh right, you want me to boost your ego and you end up like the rest of them".
"The rest of who?" I asked confusingly.
Eddie looked at me "Just don't change and become self centred like the other models" he said.

I stood there completely confused by him, hell no actually I was looking at his body under his tight t-shirt before I caught myself. I walked behind the screen and never saw him look over his shoulder at me disappearing from view. Getting changed I was all thumbs and knew it was down to him. So distant yet so very close it was like I could still smell him as if he was close, and he was, leaning against the wall watching me.

"Not bad for your first time Tom" he said smiling at me.
I looked down fumbling with my bad "Thank you for going easy on me".
Eddie laughed "For you I will go easy if it is your first time" he said, I didn't look up in case I looked embarrassed.
I smiled still packing my bag, I stood up and looked at him "Let's see what tomorrow brings" I replied.
He walked over and hugged me catching me by surprise "Just bring your A game back tomorrow and we will find out".

Dazed and totally aroused I walked out of the studio and sat down opposite Steve waiting for my car to arrive to take me back to the hotel, so I may still be a little wet behind the ears but I knew that he appeared to be flirting with me and I loved it. Steve turned to look studying me for a moment.

"Did you have fun with Eddie?" Steve asked "Only you didn't run out crying or frustrated".
I looked at him curiously "He is nice to work with" I replied.
Steve shot a surprised look "Nice?" he remarked "Hmm no one ever says he is nice to work with".
"He was very helpful and patient" I said checking I had my phone.
Steve shook his head "Gay and bad tempered, models hate working with him but he is one of the best".
I chuckled more so knowing he was gay "Maybe people misunderstand him, he does know what he is doing" I replied.
Steve laughed at me "Right, one photo shoot and your now a professional Tom from Texas".
Steve leaned forward over his desk "Did he try it on with you, I mean your straight right?" he asked me.
"No well I don't think he tried it on, flirted a little" I replied but didn't answer about my sexuality.
"Eddie has a partner in New York but has casual sex here in LA. Bastard won't even look at me" Steve said huffing.
I nodded "Oh so your gay?" I said rolling my eyes to the ceiling at my stupid remark.
Steve looked at me "Are you really that stupid you didn't notice I was?".
"Sorry I just haven't met that many gay people before" I replied honestly.
Steve shrugged his shoulders "Anyway I don't have muscle or tattoos. That's what Eddie likes I his men".
"Car is here" Steve called over "See you tomorrow Tom from Texas".

Today really did go well and gave me a lot to think about, what I never expected to hear was learning Eddie was gay and I suppose attracted to him but from what Steve said he was hard to get and very specific in his taste of men. I hit the hotel pool and gym, had a little dinner before reading then having a facetime call with Brad, my one sanity check when I was away and it would be these weekly chats that I loved most when not at Medina. The second day and third day was much like the first except there was more people in the studio who I had never met but seemed to know Patricia and Eddie well. I was modelling summer beach wear which involved some quick changes on the scene in front of everyone but thankfully nothing to revealing was required at the moment. Eddie chatted as he photographed me often making me laugh and catching it on camera, he would pause and place his hands on my body moving me gently and encouraging me. The difference towards me was very clear to everyone in the room and they were perplexed, muttering to each other wondering but none of them knew the big ass secret I was hiding about my sexuality and that Eddie was pushing it to the surface. Well to me it was a secret and to them it was life. When I had a break Patricia came over with a robe for me to put on and I sat watching him photograph a different male model, Eddie showed none of the compassion or chatter that they had just seem with me. By lunchtime we finished with a few swimwear shots then I went behind the screen to change for my flight back to Texas and home. The studio emptied except for Eddie and me, excitingly they were all heading to Patricia's office to go through the photos.

"You know I have never liked a model as much as I like you" he said surprising me standing there.
"Why is that?" I asked "I mean I see how different you are with the other models" I explained.
Eddie looked at me "Your different Tom, not pretentious like the ones that come through the door" he said.
I shrugged my shoulder "I don't really get it" laughing as I replied.
Eddie sat down on the stool "Your just Tom, the man behind the face and you are incredibly nice".
"Thanks" I replied unable to even know what to say to him.
Eddie smiled "You must get loads of girls throwing themselves at you, do you have a girlfriend?" he asked.
I chuckled and shook my head "No" I replied and left it at that.
"Boyfriend?" Eddie asked and turned to look at me, I couldn't answer, thankfully the door opened.
Steve walked in "Tom from Texas your car is here and I have your flight details for next week" he called out.
"Coming" I replied standing "I will see you next week" I said to Eddie who was fiddling with his camera.
He looked at me and smiled "Definitely".
Steve looked up from his desk as I approached "I will send you through your flight details Tom from Texas".
I gazed at him "Stop calling me that" I bantered with him yawning "sorry I'm knackered, it's tiring".
Steve tutted "So hard looking at a camera" he laughed "Oh the life of a model".
"I am no model" I said chuckling as I walked away "See you next week".
Steve turned in his seat "Awe bless The Model called Tom, I think that is what I will call you now, and for the record you are a model" he said smiling.

Steve was beginning to be more friendlier towards me and we were getting on quite well. He told me he only liked me as I didn't act like other models which lead me to wonder what they must really be like, since he was the second person to tell me that. But he and most of the other people at Manon International just saw me as Tom from Texas, most just  ignoring me. I didn't want fame or fortune or to be the sexiest male model alive, but the word Steve used in the office that day 'The Model Called Tom' would cause me to giggle when he referred to me in that way, those simple words would get banded around the office and before long that was how I would eventually be known.

Part of me was glad to be heading home and looking forward to seeing everyone, it felt like so much had happened and I had been away months. I slept in until 10am after talking in to the early hours with my family, they were all interested to find out how things went and what I was wearing and who was I modelling for. I filled them in with as much as I could realising I knew very little only that it was a department store. I did some studying and caught up with my coursework and spent the weekend afternoons with Brad at the river reading and talking. Brad confessing to me how happy he was to have me back for a few days.

But time flew and before I knew it I was back at the airport Sunday evening for my flight to LA and this would mark a significant point in my life...

[Monster5-8gPA]

@losolent I’m loving your new story! I can see another masterpiece coming from you! 

[bhoels]

@losolent, this story has drawn me in totally.  There are many really good stories on Breeding Zone, but for whatever reason, your writing reaches out and grabs hold of me.  That is truly outstanding.  Yeah, I want to read the sexy stuff, but I am thrilled to read of Tom's development. This is also the first comment I have ever posted on this site, even though I have been a (lurking) member for an embarrassing number of years.  Thanks for this, and I anxiously await the next chapter.

[ANSTMT]

I love your stories. The next chapter can't come quick enough. Keep up the hard work x

[daddybear]

good going do far

[RawSexPig]

Great story,can't wait for the next  chapter

 

[blkbbb]

The writing and the story are great!  Can’t wait for the next chapter. Keep it coming

[losolent]

Part 3 - Eddie The Photographer

 

I was getting real good at this flying stuff and for the first time I was recognised on the flight by the one of the flight attendants, initially I thought the it was due to the modelling until he said it was a pleasure to welcome me back on board.  I then remembered seeing him on my last flight, not that I paid much attention to anyone and I thought it was quite normal, you know when you took your seat and other passengers looked as you as they boarded. I didn't know if it was a game of trying to suss out your fellow passengers, strangely I found on this flight I started playing that game and watching the characters boarding the flight struggling with their carry on items. It was quite an amusing game to play and passed the time during the boarding process. I guess the worst part was the three hours sitting their watching the seat in front you, I had my music so it wouldn't be that bad and I didn't have to try and feign interest in the person seated next to me. The last stragglers rushed on board almost laughing that they were last despite there still being several minutes before we were scheduled to depart the gate.

Now I never flirted or did anything to call myself out you understand, but he did keep catching my eye, I was seated in row 7 which was 3 rows behind first class and in a aisle seat. His name was Mike and really the opposite of what you expect in a flight attendant, I mean come on, you see them floating through the terminal wheeling their little suitcases behind them. He was much like me a very grounded lad from Texas who showed no feminine traits but clearly his ball was in my court. The more I thought about him the more I remembered him, he always stood at the door during the boarding process and served in first class. A privilege reserved only for the cabin manager, that's what this airline called them. When flow of passengers boarding had gaps he glanced several times in my direction, how do I know that?. Okay I was maybe watching him a little in secret, I thought I was being covert but I was busted over and over as he seemed to be looking at me every time I looked. I could have sworn he even smiled a couple of times when he looked away. Well admittedly he was very nice to look at. Definitely in his mid 20's, striking ice blue eyes that contrasted against his brownish hair that was cut in very much the same fashion as mine, you know short on the sides and longer on top. Other than that he was a standard build and my height. I watched him effortlessly close the aircraft door and start talking to the passengers going through the safety demo. Instead of paying attention to the attendant in front I was more focused on Mike as he went through the his lines without faltering and a little humour that people seemed to appreciate. I was looking at him and trying to put him off, it was a little game of cat and mouse but he looked straight back me trying not to blink and staring me out. I nearly got him but he knew his stuff, when he put the phone back in the cradle after finishing they performed the final cabin check. He leaned over me to make sure the person who had fallen asleep had their seat belt fastened, boy did he smell good I thought catching a whiff oh him leaning over me.

"Is your seat belt fastened" he asked looking at me "I need to check it is secure".
I lifted my arms up "Of course it is" I showed him.
He reached down and pulled the strap tighter "There now your secure" he said quietly with a mischievous grin and carried on.

I never saw him again until the curtain was drawn back in preparation for landing an deliberately I left the seat belt very loosely fastened. This time he pulled it slowly tighter and tighter until I grabbed his hand giggling unable to move. 'Thank you for flying with us' he said to me smiling as I disembarked, like the idiot I am I just giggled and hurried off the plane and met my driver who was holding the same 'Tom From Texas', he knew me by know but even he found it funny holding that sign up. After checking in to my hotel I went down to the gym and worked out for an hour and had a good nights sleep.

The car arrived at 9am, still dressed like a normal person in t-shirt and shorts I came out of the elevator doors and saw Steve who took me to a fitting room for a suit as they wanted to try something different. Patricia came in to the studio just as I was being ushered in by Steve and she stopped twirling me around and nodding her approval, I felt like a dogs dinner dressed up like this and way out of my comfort zone for clothing, I caught sight of myself in the mirror and was amazed how good I really looked dressed like this. Eddie walked in to the studio with a coffee and just glanced failing to recognise me at first then nearly tripping over when it finally clicked. He smiled and shook his head in bewilderment.

When Eddie called he was ready I walked over standing in front of him "Hell you look amazing" he said.
"I feel amazing" I replied giving him a cheeky grin which didn't go unnoticed by him.
Eddie smiled "That I bet you do" he said winking at me.
I blushed and Eddie stood there looking at me "Sorry" I said but he just smiled even wider and waited patiently.
Patricia came back in during the shoot and took her time looking over the photos "Brilliant" she said smiling.
I looked over "Can I have a look?" I asked from across the studio.
She looked up "Of course you can, come over" she replied.
Even I was shocked trying to comprehend that I was looking at me "God is that really me?".
Patricia laughed "It is Tom, can you see why I approached you at the pool now?" she asked.
I nodded "Can I have one?" I asked looking at her "I think my family would like to see one".
"Yes, you like this one?" she asked me and I nodded "Eddie can you print this one off please" she called out.
Eddie walked over and stood behind me feeling his presence "Okay, nice choice Tom" he said patting my shoulder.
Eddie went outside the studio "I don't get what you have done to him" Patricia said to me.
"To who?" I asked looking confused.
"Eddie" she replied "he seems to really enjoy shooting you and shows a lot of patience. Unheard of".
I looked at her "I don't know I just asked him to take it easy with me".
Patricia laughed "I just wish I could take what you have and give to the others, make my life easier" she smiled.

The rest of the afternoon I hung out watching some of the other models and cringed a little when Eddie lost it with one of the male models exasperated with him 'why can't you be like Tom. Take a break' he said putting his camera down and walking out of the studio. Patricia just looked up and told the model to pull himself together, the model Eric shot me a glance like he wanted to kill me muttering under his breath as he walked past 'fucking amateur'. Patricia hearing what he said ripped him to shreds and sent him away to cool down with a warning that if he did that again he was out. Now I was beginning to understand a little more about these models and how uptight they were, cocooned in their own little world. I called it a day not wanting to see anymore of this or him, Steve stopped and saw me about to leave and invited me out for a coffee which turned in dinner. I tried to evade the subject about my sexuality by subtly changing the conversation.

Steve chuckled and eventually let it drop but he knew, his gaydar was pretty tuned in "I like you Tom, hope we can be friends" he said.
"I guess that would be acceptable" I replied laughing "seriously I would like that".

Steve became a friend who I could talk to in LA and be open with in time. For now it was nice just to have someone here who I could hang out with. The following day I met Steve first thing in the morning for a coffee, when we got to the office we could hear Patricia on the phone in her office then swearing and coming out in to the reception.

"Steve, Jacob is flying in tonight he is coming to see me tomorrow" she said looking agitated.
Steve nodded "Okay is there anything I can do?" he asked.
She shook her head "Just get ready he didn't sound happy. God that's the last thing I need" she zoomed off.
I looked at Steve "What was all that about?" I asked unsure if he would tell me.
"Jacob is one of the top designers. Usually means shit storm if he is flying in" he said picking up the phone.

Everything seemed like a drama and Patricia was running around like a headless chicken for most of the morning piling boxes of underwear ranges in the studio that she wanted me to wear. She gave instruction to Steve and left the office for the day with her busy schedule of meetings.

"Where is The Model Called Tom" Steve joked walking in to the studio "this set first" he said handing me boxes.
Eddie came over to have a look "Nice" he said then looked at me "get changed Tom from Texas" he chuckled.
"Haven't you heard Eddie, he is now The Model Called Tom" Steve said laughing holding the briefs up.

Steve stayed around for the morning and brought me lunch in, we sat in the corner of the studio on the floor. Eddie walked in a couple of times downloading photos then reappeared and stood looking at us tapping his watch. I stood up and changed in to some other underwear whilst Steve went off to do some work for Patricia. We were only halfway through the afternoon shoot when Eddie said for me to take a break and handed me a bottle of water.

"So The Model Called Tom is it now?" he said swigging his water.
I sat on the floor "Steve's new nickname for me" I replied grabbing an apple.
Eddie sat down on the floor next to me leaning against the wall "I like shooting you naked".
I looked at him "That's very random" I said biting my apple.
He looked at me and laughed "Sorry, I just think your body is amazing".
"Not half as amazing as yours" I said without thinking.
Eddie drank some more water "Are you flirting with me?" he asked bumping my shoulder grinning.
I stood up feeling way to horny "Now why would I want to flirt with you. Come on time is money" I said to him.
Eddie laughed and stood up "Cheeky little thing aren't you" he said picking up his camera.
I put on the new briefs and walked out "Are you complaining?" I said walking past looking at him over my shoulder.
Eddie stood there shaking his head smiling "No but I can make you complain in many other ways".
I stood there embarrassed knowing he was referring to sex "Not if you take that long to get ready" I grinned.

Eddie laughed and we got down to business and worked solidly for the last 2 hours. When he was happy that we had got everything needed he signalled job done. I went behind the screen to get changed, sitting in the chair trying to get my laces tied up on my trainers I knew Eddie was standing there.

"I have to admit you make my job easy" Eddie said leaning against the wall.
I looked up and smiled "I like working with you and thank you for being nice to me".
Eddie chuckled "I wasn't joking about shooting you naked, it's a pleasure to do".
I blushed fumbling around with the laces "I wasn't naked though, almost but not quite" I quietly replied.
"Fuck you drive me insane Tom" Eddie shook his head "If you were gay I would do you" he turned to leave.
I paused for a moment, I had to say it "I am" I said surprising myself still looking down at my trainers.
Eddie stopped and turned to me "Did you just come out to me?" he asked looking amused.
I stood up hesitating unsure what to say, then slowly I nodded "Suppose I did, or maybe I was testing you" thinking I could back track quickly.

You could say I was a walking body of deprived sexual contact and I knew if anyone was going to be my first I wanted it to be Eddie. But he stood looking at me trying to work out if I was joking. Bravely I took steps that would open my world up and walked towards him, I had to do this. What the fuck do I do I suddenly began to think standing inches from his face, without time to react Eddie kissed me and my lips just parted, his lips pressed firmly against mine and for several minutes, they were smooth unlike his stubble. It happened very quickly, the kissing moved in to a frenzy hungry for each other. He moved away and looked like he was having seconds thoughts, at that moment I was also unsure for a few fleeting seconds but my body couldn't resist the temptation in front of me. Our eyes locked on each other 'oh fuck' I said before finding my self latched on to his mouth again and held aloft in his muscular arms, we both collapsed on the floor giggling and still kissing, my arms like octopus tentacles roaming all over his body feeling all his muscles. I had no time to second guess or think what I was doing and so wrapped up in the moment and in his arms rolling around on the floor, we never heard the door to the studio opening.

"Uhm, you car is here Tom" Steve said catching us both on the floor embroiled in a kiss.
Eddie quickly stood up "Fuck" he said running his hands through his cropped hair.
I don't know why but I burst out laughing "Oops" was all I said but Steve was giggling.
"Don't worry I won't say anything, he turned to Eddie you know the rules" Steve said to him.
"Rules?" I said looking at both of them.
Steve nodded "Not in the building" he threw Eddie a key "use my apartment you got 4 hours and clean up after".
I sat on the floor and looked at Eddie as Steve walked out laughing "I don't know Eddie" I said.
He held out his hand and pulled me up "You weren't joking about it being your first time?" Eddie asked.
He slipped his arm around my waist and I shook my head "No" I replied quietly blushing.
Eddie took my hand again "I said I would go easy and I mean it" he said guiding me out of the studio.

I allowed myself to be taken by him and before I knew it we were a few blocks away from my hotel at Steve's apartment, Eddie closed the front door. His hands touched me in a way I had never felt before, moving down my back lifting my shirt and touching my bare skin. I wanted this more than anything and allowed him to continue. Eddie pressed his lips against mine an kissed me softly as my hands fumbled unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it over his shoulders. I stopped at looked at the unbelievably ripped body adorned with tattoos, his dark cropped hair framing his face and golden brown eyes. My hand running up his chest and along his biceps down his arm until I met his hand and he held it, all the time he was looking in to my eyes. For the first time I stood naked in front of another naked guy in such closeness that my body was burning for his touch, my mouth readily accepting his and then his tongue touching mine. It was unlike our kissing in the studio, this was more intimate and very real, seductive and probing I tasted Eddie for the first time and lovingly kissed with him. My arms stopped moving and rested around his waist, his arm around my neck holding me close, the other around my back giving me a sense of security. I had no idea how long we stood and kissed, being so emotionally bound to each other, my eyelids fluttered and closed my body relaxing in to his.

His tongue pulled back from my mouth and he stopped kissing me "Are you sure?" he asked.
I looked him in the eye "I want to do this" I replied as he stroked my face "I just don't know how to".
Our bodies were pressed together "Put your trust in me Tom, I won't do anything you don't want to".
"Okay" I replied, still holding my hand he climbed on to he bed on his knees and coaxed me forward to join him.
"Do you know if your top or bottom?" he asked me with his lips touching mine again.
I was caught out and had no idea and looked down "How do I know?" I replied and Eddie chuckled.
"So innocent Tom, I doesn't matter" he said pulling me close to him again "your body will tell you what it needs most".

I nodded and took a moment to look at his body again, his cock looked pretty big and almost the same size as mine except his was slightly wider and marginally longer, both erect and my seven and half inches ready for action. Eddie's face was so close against mine when I raised my head, our noses touching briefly before he kissed me and whispered 'Trust me Tom' again I nodded. His mouth closed in on mine and this time I slipped my tongue in to his mouth causing him to moan and spontaneously wrapping his arms around my body. There was no rush and Eddie allowed me to explore his body, stroking the light hair covering on his forearms the smoothness of his chest and the dark hair the lightly adorning his abdomen trailing down to his cock. My hand felt it, it was rock hard but also kind of soft, my fingers exploring every inch as he moaned softly and smiled all the time his hand gently caressing and stroking my back.

"Why me?" I suddenly asked looking him in the eye "I mean I don't have tattoos or big muscles".
Eddie kissed me "You are unique in your own way Tom, tattoos and muscle are not everything" he said.
I kissed his neck "Really I..." his mouth covered mine before I could ask another question.
Eddie stopped then looked at me "You have many charming qualities, you are also incredibly sexy Tom, you just don't know it".

Eddie pulled me forward and I collapsed on top of him driven wild by urges to sex the hell out of him. His mouth seeking mine slowly and kissed me several times on the mouth, each time my mouth opening wider until we became joined at the mouth his tongue dancing around with mine. We rolled on to our sides locked together, my leg distinctly moved and rested over his leg. It was as if he was finely tuned to my bodies yearnings. I realised when he stopped the intimate kiss and raised his head I was laying underneath him and he was between my legs.

I smiled up at him "How did I end up under you?" I asked sounding perplexed.
Eddie kissed me "Your bodies instinct guided us both" he smiled and ran his finger across my lips "Trust me".

Eddie seemed very in tune with me and responded to my reactions tenderly kissing me as if to assure me I would be safe and enjoy this. I felt myself letting go feeling his lips pressing against mine again gradually easing them apart and his tongue slipping in to my mouth. Moaning from pleasure he caressed my ass whilst kissing me I was beginning to feel comfortable and it felt right. His mouth slowly began working it's way down my body tantalisingly biting my nipples, his tongue working over my smooth chest and abdomen until he reached my aching cock. Tenderly he kissed and licked the shaft of my cock in long strokes with his tongue before his lips surrounded the head. My eyes opened wide and I gasped at the sensation that shot through my body. I wanted to scream but instead I bit my lower lip trying to control myself, my legs shaking at each new sensation, my body finally waking accepting the true pleasure of sex.

His mouth work down my leg giving my body chance to adjust and stop shaking, twisting my legs over finding myself laying on my stomach I raised my head off the bed moaning as he bit playfully on my ass cheeks. I let out a shocked gasp unprepared for what happened next, his tongue probed at my ass hole a most unusual sensation washed over my body feeling the wet warmth. I was not prepared for this didn't know how to react, the more his tongue worked on me I began to feel even more aroused as though my body was telling me egging me on. He was silent moving and kissing my lower back, my ass felt wet from all the saliva he had left behind. His whole body moved up positioning his legs in between mine keeping them apart, his hot breath and kissing at my neck so deliberately delivered caused all my barriers to fall down and I was putty in his hands.

Eddie leaned forward "Do you have a condom?" he asked me.
I turned my head "No, I.." I don't know why I hesitated but I looked at him as if my eyes could speak.
"Do you want it bareback?" he asked returning my gaze and seeing a blank look he asked "sex without a condom?".
I don't know why but I nodded "Can we try it?" he kissed me on the mouth.
"You must tell me if you want me to pull out before I cum though" he said and I nodded.

My body was to anxious for sex to worry about anything, he leaned forward kissing my face and turning my head towards him until our lips could meet again. The look he gave me and the smile on his face melted my heart, I was also aware that his cock was rubbing along my hole. He never said a word, he kissed me then raised his hips and pushed with just enough pressure to allow the head of his cock to force it's way inside. I struggled and cried out at the pain, my ass felt like it had been ripped open but he steadied himself holding the head of his cock just inside 'are you okay?' he asked me lovingly, I nodded 'it hurts a bit' I replied, he kissed me 'tell if it gets to much for you' he said kissing me again. I could feel his cock partly inside me as he gave very small nudges, not enough to see but enough to feel, tiny movements that penetrated me that little deeper each time. I moaned and stifled my cry each time slowly an immense pleasure began to surface mixing in with the pain. His arms moved up either side of my head as more of his body touched mine, my hands grabbed hold of his and he squeezed them tightly pushing his hips down with more force as I let more of him enter in to me. I tried to raise my head but his shoulder was so close to my body I could only lift it several inches off the bed 'fuck' I cried my head collapsing back on the bed breathing heavily and squeezing hard against his hands in a vain attempt to release the pressure and pain.

I turned my head and kissed his cheek 'Do it' I pleaded and his mouth covered mine kissing me deeper and stifling my cry as more of his cock penetrated my body. Each time it was painful but less so. Eddie was driving me crazy and I had no handle on what was taking over my body, I wanted to touch him, wanted him to fuck me. His arm secured around my neck holding my tightly as he forced the rest of the cock deep inside me, his kissing continued I felt nothing by intense pleasure surrendering my body to him, my free hand now gripping the bed sheets as if I was going to fall off a cliff face. I could feel every movement his cock made inside my ass exaggerated by the small but firm thrusts his hips were making as he held me still and kissed my neck 'do you want me to stop?' he asked 'please no' I emphatically replied. The adrenaline in my body fighting off any pain completely as I felt the freedom of making love with him. The sensation of his body laying on top of my back, his groin embedded so tight against my ass. The tell tell signs of him fucking me was the movement his ass muscles made with his entire cock deep inside me, it felt amazing. I wanted to scream to the world that I was fucking queer and getting fucked by this muscle stud, but my brain was computing and trying to make sense of everything it was receiving from my body. Suddenly  I cried out banging my legs against the bed like a child having a tantrum then silence and my body jolted underneath him. Eddie had some idea what had happened as he could feel my ass clenching tight around his cock and he stopped moving.

Eddie stopped "Are you okay Tom, Tom" I could hear the concern in his voice.
I raised me head and turned then apologised "I'm so sorry I couldn't stop it, it just happened".
Eddie laughed and kissed me "Did you cum already" he asked.
I nodded "I'm sorry" I apologised again.
Eddie stroked my head "Do you want me stop?".
"No, just lay here with me for a moment" I asked of him afraid he would end it now.

Eddie smiled and began kissing me again as I continued to lay underneath impaled on his cock. It was a nice kind of dominance he had over me and I felt so much enjoyment as my body began to relax. He knew and took the cue letting my body respond to him this time my ass pushing up meeting his thrusts downwards. He would stop and we would kiss then begin again, repeating this over and over for half an hour. He kissed my neck rapidly 'oh Tom' he whispered in to my ear then grunted and pushed down harder clenching his buttocks his cock seemed to jump inside me before I felt a warming sensation somewhere deep inside my body, his cock twitching several times shooting more seed in to my body, I moaned in excited pleasure feeling a man orgasm just became very real. Gradually I began to feel his entire body weight pressing down on me as he relaxed and kissed my neck, in some way that turned me on even more. He continued to kiss my neck and mouth until he wriggled his ass and began withdrawing his softening cock.

Eddie rolled on to his back, I felt unable to move unsure if this was a state of shock of just immense pleasure, I laid there looking at Eddie who looked shaking his head 'Fuck Tom that was incredible', he pulled me towards him and kissed me much deeper than before. I laid there in his arm, my leg across his legs and my arm resting on his chest my hand playing with his nipple. I now knew what gay was being about and my hesitations at last had been freed by him. Eddie jumped up to take a shower his body glistening from sweat.

Steve opened the door making lots of noise and poked his head in after I called out to him "Well?" he asked.
I smiled "Amazing" I replied "just amazing".
Steve laughed "Was it you know your first time?" he asked sitting next to me on the bed.
Shyly I nodded and he patted me on the leg "Well you picked a good one" he giggled.
"Sorry I made a bit of mess" I said standing up and putting clothes on.
Steve stood up "I will help you clean up" he said as Eddie came out of the bathroom and kissed him on the cheek.
"Thanks Steve" he said.

We cleaned and straightened the bed, it was still early so Eddie and I went off to grab some food then walked the few blocks to my hotel. I didn't really want Eddie to go so I invited him up to my room, he laughed and agreed but told me outright no more sex tonight as my ass is going to be sore tomorrow. We got in to my hotel room and straight away Eddie pulled me in to his arms and kissed me long and deep.

"Anything else you would like to explore my sexy boy" he asked.
I nervously giggled "Can I you know" I nodded down at his cock.
He kissed me chuckling "You want to blow me?" he said kissing my neck.
"Yeah" I replied squeezing his ass.

We undressed quickly and kissed standing their naked again. This time he held my head in his hands and kissed me very sensually, his hands gradually moved to my shoulders and I felt him push me down gently forcing me to sink to my knees facing his erect cock. Raising a hand I held his cock admiring it for a few moments before I felt his hand on the back of my head pulling me towards it, Eddie looked down at me 'use your lips gently around the head' he began guiding me. To some relief as I wasn't sure where to start 'holy fuck' Eddie giving a sharp intake of his breath as my lips surrounded the head of his cock. Every so often he would pull my head forward slightly so I got more of his cock in my mouth 'use your tongue' he instructed in a wobbly voice. I could see he was struggling with something, little did I know that Eddie was trying not to cum through his own excitement and desire. As soon as my tongue swirled around the head of Eddie's cock his other hand clasped and held my head still, my eyes nearly bulged as my mouth filled with warm slightly acrid and salty tasting fluid, pulse after pulse filling my mouth, choking and accidentally swallowing some of it I ran to the bathroom and spat it out retching down the toilet.

Eddie came in and made sure I was alright "Here drink some water" he handed me a glass.
I sat on the bathroom floor taking the glass my yes watering "Thanks" I said and Eddie sat down beside me.
"Enough experiences for one night I think Tom" he said holding my hand.
I rested my head back against the tiled wall and looked at him "Does that mean your going?" I asked.
Eddie put his arm around my shoulder "Well that depends if your throwing me out".
"No" I quickly replied "I mean will you stay the night?" I asked nervously.
"Of course, I am pleased you asked me to" he replied leaning over and kissing me.
I looked up at the ceiling and burst out laughing "I guess blow jobs take some getting use to".

Eddie laughed and stood up then heaved me in to his arms and carried me to the bedroom laying me down on the bed. He loved holding me close to him and I never left his arms all night, we slept cuddled together, he stroked my chest as I ran my hand along his arm squeezing his muscles. I could have laid there for eternity in his arms, his gentle caressing of my chest soon had me drifting off in to an amazing sleep. The chiming on my phone woke me from my sleep struggling at first I felt trapped then saw the tattoos on his arm and remembered I was in bed with Eddie. I silenced the alarm and twisted my body round but Eddie pulled me on top of him and kissed me ever so sweetly 'Morning sexy' he said continuing his small kisses against my lips. Eddie jumped in a taxi explaining it was better if we kept this to ourselves and Steve. I nodded agreeing with him, some things are best kept quiet and I wasn't really ready for the world to know my business.

I would always be grateful to Eddie for giving me that one special night. That wasn't the end of Eddie though, one night was just not enough and as our friendship developed so did our sex, Eddie allowed me to explore with his body and try things. It was through the exploration that I got to know what he liked to do in bed, mostly fucking me in case you were wondering, but also and more importantly he allowed me to discover myself. He never pushed or demanded I do things I wasn't comfortable with. There were times when I wasn't up for exploring and just enjoyed getting laid by him. There was one thing Eddie told me that first night we were together that made so much sense 'You can truly only enjoy sex once you have mastered your own body and for that you need to start with exploration. Only then can your partner understand and pleasure you sexually'.

I arrived at Manon International somewhat conscious that I wasn't walking weird as fuck my ass hurt, he certainly wasn't kidding but it made me laugh thinking maybe I should have started with something smaller, on the downside I wouldn't have seen the sexual side of Eddie. The fact that he was considerate and it wasn't all about him and what he wanted was quite a blessing, he let me go slowly, was very tender and patient with me. It was already hustle and bustle people running around frantically, doing what I have no idea, but it wasn't my drama then it dawned on me that some designer was making an appearance.

Steve grinned at me from his desk "The Model Called Tom has arrived in the building" he stood up saluting me.
"Behave" I said leaning over his desk poking him in the ribs.
He leaned forward "Did you spend the night together?" he asked me.
I smiled "Why would you think that?" I answered with a question.
Steve chuckled "He was wearing the same clothes. I just gave him some clothes to change in to" he replied.
"Lunchtime, lets grab something" I suggested to him
"Really?" he smiled "That would be great, thanks Tom" he seemed genuinely surprised and happy.
"Dude, you just used my real name" I laughed.
"Don't get use to it, Studio A Tom" he said "oh and Patty is with Jacob already" Steve nodded to her office.

Eddie shot me a smile and wink when I walked in to the studio. I changed behind the screen in the studio and could hear voices from a man who had entered the studio with Patricia, from what I could hear the guy didn't appear to be happy. Eddie popped his head around the screen 'come on bud we haven't got all day' he said to me as I finished buttoning the shorts up 't-shirt off sexy' he said quietly disappearing then reappearing poking his head around the screen 'fucking sexy' he mouthed and disappeared again round the other side.

 

[NYFLpig]

@losolent thank you for taking us on yet another captivating and hot journey. 

[backpackguy]

Amazing job of story telling losolent...keep it cumming!!