Do gay generally don't like femmes ?

[SubHornyBottom]

I am a transgender MtF. But when I was on grindr, I LITERALLY got no replies...In the bathhouse...I am getting ZERO cock...What's happening ?  and What should I do  ? 

[SubHornyBottom]

17 hours ago, SubHornyBottom said:

I am a transgender MtF. But when I was on grindr, I LITERALLY got no replies...In the bathhouse...I am getting ZERO cock...What's happening ?  and What should I do  ? 

So what should I do ?

[lovetobefucked]

Nothing you can do about it.  Honestly, i am attracted to men.  If you are female and have tits and a pussy I'm not interested or turned on.  I've been fucked by a few pre-op transgenders but it was the fact they had a nice sized cock that did the trick. I imagine it's a small subset of gay men that would be turned on by it.

Edited September 19, 2019 by lovetobefucked

[Ranger Rick]

Some of us are androphiles; we're attracted to masculinity and put off by femininity. There plenty of others who are into femmes. Point is, people like what they like. Nobody should be forced into anything they don't want. It sucks if a particular individual doesn't want to pick up what you're putting down. But that's just life. Man up and deal with it. 

[tallslenderguy]

I see a difference between “femmes” and female ( i.e. MTF).  I’m bottom and gay and love a guy who’s Top, I don’t care if He’s femme, that can even be a mind fuck turn on for me, but I’m gay, I am not bi or straight, I’m not attracted to a female, and not attracted sexually to other bottoms.

[rawTOP]

IMHO… In VERY rough terms…

• Gay men are attracted to masculinity
• Straight men are attracted to femininity
• Bisexuals are attracted to both
• Queer folks are attracted to non-conformity and gender ambiguity (or are themselves non-conforming / ambiguous)

So, if your fem your target audience should be straight & bisexual men and queer folks. It doesn't surprise me at all that you'd strike out in a gay male venue – they're not interested in what you're selling.

Or to put it another way – the way I've always described my own sexuality is "if I were interested in fem, I'd be straight". To me femmy guys are in the same category as girls – never more than friends. (Except for anonymous pump-n-dumps where I'm not really aware they're fem).

[Guest]

1 hour ago, rawTOP said:

IMHO… In VERY rough terms…

• Gay men are attracted to masculinity
• Straight men are attracted to femininity
• Bisexuals are attracted to both
• Queer folks are attracted to non-conformity and gender ambiguity (or are themselves non-conforming / ambiguous)

So, if your fem your target audience should be straight & bisexual men and queer folks. It doesn't surprise me at all that you'd strike out in a gay male venue – they're not interested in what you're selling.

Or to put it another way – the way I've always described my own sexuality is "if I were interested in fem, I'd be straight". To me femmy guys are in the same category as girls – never more than friends. (Except for anonymous pump-n-dumps where I'm not really aware they're fem).

 

We all like it rough... 😜

And I've got a Queer streak. It's official. LOL

[Guest]

On 9/14/2019 at 6:36 PM, SubHornyBottom said:

I am a transgender MtF. But when I was on grindr, I LITERALLY got no replies...In the bathhouse...I am getting ZERO cock...What's happening ?  and What should I do  ? 

I know some bisexuals who are defiantly into MtF trans.

On 9/19/2019 at 6:26 PM, lovetobefucked said:

it was the fact they had a nice sized cock that did the trick.

And totally agree.  I want another cock besides me own to play with.

[Sunovabesh]

As someone who may take an interesting streak on this (and who is cisgendered and pansexual), I'll just say that my view does not excuse any transphobia, nor me taking a stand on a trans-related subject matter for a complete truth - I can only come from my personal perspective.

"Femme" (in the gay community) usually refers to a cis-gendered male who designs himself in the aesthetic of what most would considered "feminine." That means male as the gender, and "feminine" is the aesthetic or look of that male. So, a femme twink coming in a bathhouse may have a different reaction than someone who is actually trans.

Now, I do agree that we do have a SEVERE prejudice against feminine looking, sounding, or acting gay men. "No Fats, no Fems" is such a common slogan in the gay community, it might as well be our chant. It's disgusting that we have such anger towards men who either explore femininity or has feminine traits that they cannot control. Especially when gay men are the same ones who fetishize young girly twinks (or certain men with femme voices), but also belittle them and write them all off as "brats" or being "disposable" due to seeming like a stereotype, therefore seeming like a "dime a dozen." So, that I completely agree with.

However, for someone who is a woman entering a gay scene, it may not be the best due to transphobia being strong, and that gay men may not necessarily be attracted to "real" femininity, rather the "fetishized" femininity (twinks with fat asses, soft skin, girlish tendencies, etc.). It's the same thing with some women liking "shy boys" but not liking guys who are actually shy (gross example, but, very simple point). The thing I would say is don't let it get you down.

I'm not masculine at all. I probably am as femme, weak and un-masculine as one can get. However, I still get my share of ass from time to time. I could get a market-worth as a bottom, but here I am as a (mostly) top. So, never doubt yourself and never belittle yourself! See what you offer and see what you can get within the LGBT community or the straight world! You're valid and deserve to feel so!

[Guest DetroitAnon]

I was fucked for the first time by a trans “MTF” with breast and a big black cock.   I have to be honest that it weirded me out a little, but she fucked me so good that I’d give it to her every time.  
 

I am only attracted to masculine gay men.  I once saw an alpha black male looking guy with the body of a Greek God at Body Zone bathhouse in Detroit.  I wanted him to fuck me so bad that I was going to cruise him for sex.  Then he started talking very very feminine and I lost all desire for him.    However, I would fuck a very feminine guy with no problem.    
 

I’ve never been sexually attracted to women, but I appreciate their beauty.  I honestly think you would have more luck with an open-minded straight or bisexual man as MTF than you would ever be with a gay man. 
 

 

 

[Yes]

I'm ftm and I have to admit I am puzzled my mtfs who want to get with gay guys. Early on in my transition I had a couple str8 guys make a go at fucking me, and the whole time they were trying to see the woman in me to make it work for them. It's not at all sexy imho. Although most str8 sex clubs/parties call themselves pan and would welcome me, I'd never go because I anticipate it would be a shredding experience. 

My guess on the subject of mtfs (you tell me what you think tho) is that pre transition this way of fucking became habitual. In ftms there is a similar dynamic with former dykes. People fought so hard earlier in their lives to be lesbians that they don't like to give it up. A lot of formerly "women-only" spaces are now "women and trans men/people only" to account for the number of butches who ended up transitioning who are still friends with the women. As a person who used to organize women's only spaces, I think the politics of this is pretty questionable and I now wouldn't participate in any under normal circumstances. 

Sometimes gay guys tell me they are "attracted to dick" etc but all else being equal, I think between the two of us I'm gonna have more luck cause I look like a dude. Sometimes I ask guys who are "attracted to dick" if they get with mtfs with cock and it just makes them squirm. A lot of men are very conservative sexually--- they are used to what they're used to and they don't want to try anything new. My experience is gay men moreso than str8 guys cause there is much higher availability if you are into something common. And really that's their prerogative. No one deserves sex from another person.

100 years ago in north america we were all called "inverts". These categories of L, G, B, T, TS, Q, I, A etc are very new and still being ironed out. 

[Guest perverthomoslave]

You said you're MTF. Which means you're a woman. Doesn't matter if you still have a dick, you're a woman because you identify as a woman. That should make it obvious: Gay men like, well, men. And you're a woman. So, pursue people who like women. 

I'm a gay bottom, and I'm fem, and I've had not much issue getting guys to like fucking me because I'm (generally) male presenting in these cases (I don't like gender, so I stay away from it tbh). It's not that gays don't like you for being fem, they don't like you because you identify as a woman, thus you're a woman.

[shortstackhole]

i dont. i like my men to be men, my women to be women, and my twinks to be jocks/guys next door

[tomsawyer]

I'm bi and I love both femboys and trans women.  The problem for me is that the people in my area that fit that description all seem to be escorts or looking for sugar daddies.  I have no issues with that but it's not really what I'm looking for myself.  So personally even though I'm into them I tend not to seek those profiles out.  Not sure if that's prevalent in other areas or how you could work against that stereotype if it is, but I figured it might be worth mentioning.

[hungry_hole]

On 9/14/2019 at 12:36 PM, SubHornyBottom said:

I am a transgender MtF. But when I was on grindr, I LITERALLY got no replies...In the bathhouse...I am getting ZERO cock...What's happening ?  and What should I do  ? 

My answer is similar to others. Most men in Grindr and in gay bathhouses are looking for men, not women. When bathhouses were open, I found it disturbing to find some guy dressed as a woman.