“Bat In Your League”

[ErosWired]

I keep running across the phrase “Bat in your league” in men’s profiles, usually those of athletic or muscular men looking for equally athletic or muscular men their own age or a little younger. The inference is “I am elite, and unless you are also elite, you’re not worthy to speak to me, let alone take my cock.”

 I find this really irritating when I see it, mainly because I find self-important narcissists annoying, but also because of the presumption. No, I don’t have a physique to meet his standards, but what I do have, by all accounts, is a fantastic ass - what, then, makes him think he would be deserving of that? What makes him think he could bat in my league?

[ChrgdPuP]

I’m confused why it irks you so much. They’ve clearly provided you a reason for you to not be interested in them by using such a statement, placing them out of your league. 

[shaved_thong_lover]

I train about 6 days a week..sometimes twice a day.  And I would NEVER say something like that!  Literally the ONLY reason I train so hard is to be attractive enough that guys would want to fuck me, so they enjoy fucking me, so I turn them on.  I am a cumslut bottom... And its my purpose in life to take all loads, from any guy, at anytime they desire.  Guys who say, "bat in your league"  are missing the point and are arrogant fucks. In fact, I love when I come onto a 'not ass attractive guy" or a chubby guy. Sometimes they are nervous or intimidated, and I love to make them feel like a dominant stud top by coming onto them like a total cumslut whore and making them cum harder than they ever have in their life.  I want those "minor league" guys to feel like PORN STARS.  If I can do that, then I served my purpose!

[Britnonchaser]

Surely it's more polite than "no uggos". From my experience as a skinny white guy, I've had pretty dudes and handsome musclemen let me suck them off plenty of times. Even fuck them. Maybe this is a phase that has passed though and now people are getting more elitist, I dunno. The phrase does sound horrendously annoying.

Edited March 13, 2020 by Britnonchaser

[ErosWired]

3 hours ago, CABttm4Txc said:

I’m confused why it irks you so much. They’ve clearly provided you a reason for you to not be interested in them by using such a statement, placing them out of your league. 

It irks me because I don’t have a league. My ass belongs to any man - any man - who lays claim to it. Whatever its quality may actually be, anyone can swing his bat at me. I guess their inference that some men, by virtue of appearance, aren’t entitled to good sex runs contrary to everything I believe.

[tallslenderguy]

"Bat in your league"

As i see it, egocentricity is where ethnocentricity derives from.   These guys assume they're a part of a league that is defined by them based on their individual bias or want. my guess is they haven't gotten together and actually formed a league, just a bunch of individual guys with balls and bats all making up their own rules on who gets to play.

[Guest BreedMeInVegas]

Everyone has their likes and their dislikes.  If anything they are giving you a filter to use to avoid the type of guy you don't care to be with right?  Let them set the rules they want when hooking up, and you can keep setting your rules that you have since I'd imagine you wouldn't want anyone criticizing yours.

[backtails]

Saying that "bat in your league" is working if it makes someone not interested might be missing the point. It says something about him, the same way it does if he says he only likes white guys. I'm white, and I don't like seeing that.

[Guest BreedingCameraman]

I haven’t come across anything quite that haughty in terms of how they’re trying to express that they’re only wanting a specific type of individual to approach them, but I do run across narcissistic assholes all the time on various platforms. I don’t know why anyone thinks they have the right to behave like that, nor how they think they can be so belligerent and still expect to find someone that they would be able to be happy with. It just makes me sad that they’re so shallow that they are willing to miss out on what could end up being the greatest thing to ever happen to them, and all because they won’t get with someone who’s not in “in their league.” Profiles that I see like that piss me off, and I almost always immediately block them so I don’t have to look at them or worry about if they try and make contact with me. One narcissistic ex was enough, and I don’t plan on having a second one, thanks.

[bbzh]

Someone who is less picky about their sexual partners is probably always going to be upset when they encounter someone they are attracted to, who is extremely picky.

The "Bat in Your Own League" comment twists the knife because it's essentially suggests, in a not so subtle manner, that you should only target guys who are close to you in age, weight, height and appearance. It also says "you're not worthy of me" and "I'm out of your league".

Why can't the picky person mention the type of guys he is attracted to, instead of using terms like BIYOL or stating something like no fats, no fems, no hairy guys, no blacks, no latinos, no older guys etc.

We often underestimate how vulnerable we are when we are putting ourselves out there hoping to find a hookup.  Let's not be unnecessarily mean to each other in the process. I just wish more of these apps would offer us a way to make these offensive profiles invisible to us or warn offenders they risk being banned. 

[breedmypiggycunt]

On 3/13/2020 at 7:26 PM, ErosWired said:

I keep running across the phrase “Bat in your league” in men’s profiles, usually those of athletic or muscular men looking for equally athletic or muscular men their own age or a little younger. The inference is “I am elite, and unless you are also elite, you’re not worthy to speak to me, let alone take my cock.”

 I find this really irritating when I see it, mainly because I find self-important narcissists annoying, but also because of the presumption. No, I don’t have a physique to meet his standards, but what I do have, by all accounts, is a fantastic ass - what, then, makes him think he would be deserving of that? What makes him think he could bat in my league?

I must admit that I haven’t come across that cliche very often but it’s fair to say that the attitude behind it can be fairly common.

 I’m pleased that I can honestly say that I never - not once - gave another person that sort of attitude when I was younger and more likely to be able to compete in a more elite “league”. Absolutely there were times when I wasn’t attracted to a particular bloke or in a space where I wanted to play with a different guy or had my own shit going on or whatever and may’ve been grumpy, even downright rude.

But that, regardless of how poor my mood might’ve been at the time, only happened after I’d patiently and politely declined to respond with interest and had tired of being ignored. There’s two reasons for that:

First, I try to conduct myself on a “first, do no harm” philosophy. While I don’t understand people who get hung up over their physical appearance, I’ve seen the damage it can wreak on a person’s psyche and I neither have the need, nor desire, to risk inflicting that pain on another person. When I see that sort of behaviour, it’s always been clear to me that those who feel a need to boost their sense of self-worth by denigrating others like that are, in fact, suffering from low self-esteem themselves. They’re striking out or at least constructing a pedestal to create for themselves a sense of relative importance. On the psychological scale, they’re akin to school age bullies and the recipient of their behaviour should understand that, first and foremost.

Secondly, I’m fortunate in that I have a strong sense of self-worth and my physical appearance probably couldn’t be less important in the health of my ego. As a youth, I was always ungainly, weird looking. I had a period in my thirties and forties where my looks caught up with my features.
As a result, that sort of attitude brings a very obvious pitying response and the individual is confronted with the understanding, if they’re smart enough, that it’s their inadequacies they’re highlighting. Ironically I tend to assume that “hawt guys” aren’t going to be interested in me physically and effectively been suspicious of people who really wanted to get to know me. That’s something that remains WIP for me.

I’d encourage you to see their behaviour for what it is: an effective admission that they’re uncomfortable in their own skin; so uncomfortable that they endeavour to make others uncomfortable with them.

If what irks you is their intention to, or lack of concern about, hurting those who are vulnerable to such things, all I can suggest is: don’t get irked by it, focus on turning the attention away from the victim of such rudeness.

 

1 hour ago, backtails said:

Saying that "bat in your league" is working if it makes someone not interested might be missing the point. It says something about him, the same way it does if he says he only likes white guys. I'm white, and I don't like seeing that.

If they’ve been pestered and/or borderline harassed by someone who won’t accept no for an answer, I can understand why they might “lash out” in frustration. But there is more than one way to skin a cat as they say. Erecting the “not in my league” barrier is never the answer, not least because it says something quite debasing about the person who’d resort to that. Let’s face it: we’re all going to get older and “not in my league” is going to feel pretty shallow when you’re the one getting dismissed so superficially.

 

24 minutes ago, bbzh said:

Someone who is less picky about their sexual partners is probably always going to be upset when they encounter someone they are attracted to, who is extremely picky.

The "Bat in Your Own League" comment twists the knife because it's essentially suggests, in a not so subtle manner, that you should only target guys who are close to you in age, weight, height and appearance. It also says "you're not worthy of me" and "I'm out of your league".

Why can't the picky person mention the type of guys he is attracted to, instead of using terms like BIYOL or stating something like no fats, no fems, no hairy guys, no blacks, no latinos, no older guys etc.

We often underestimate how vulnerable we are when we are putting ourselves out there hoping to find a hookup.  Let's not be unnecessarily mean to each other in the process. I just wish more of these apps would offer us a way to make these offensive profiles invisible to us or warn offenders they risk being banned. 

I’m not sure the recipient of the insult plays any role in it; in other words, it wouldn’t matter if they were “picky” or otherwise.

Such an utterance is entirely about one’s need to boost one’s own ego by denigrating others in my view. It should be understood as such.

And that applies even if it was borne of frustration at their refusal to accept that you’re not interested, for whatever reason.

Amusingly (well, I think it is anyway), something along these lines happened to me at Club 80 here in Melbourne a few weeks ago. A particular guy and I were clearly interested in “getting it on” but, after a while, I realised that he just wanted me to fuck him and I’d been wanting him to fuck me. I realised that we were at cross purposes far too late (I have an issue with hearing so that might not have helped either to be fair to him): long story short, when I realised that this bloke was desperate for me to fuck him, I tried to let him know as gently as possible that my dick wasn’t standing to attention that night for a very particular reason.

He clearly took it as a personal slight. (It was nothing of the sort; I would’ve loved to have but my Mr D wasn’t wasn’t going to be returning for duty in anything approaching the requisite timeframe. It was dead for the night, to be blunt.

But this bloke started yelling abuse, demanding to know how I thought I could knock someone like him back...Suffice to say, I - after initially trying to placate and explain the misunderstanding - started laughing at him yelling hysterically at me for a good hour after that....at which time, I realised that I’d stayed too long anyway and needed to head home...only to hear the abuse continuing from an upper level as I was leaving...which, to my shame probably, really made me laugh out loud. At him. The poor delicate idiot. 
 

 

[Willsuck4cum]

I know some guys who list a variation of this. A fair chunk, of those I know, are too good for the average “8” let alone a 5 or less. Aka snobby and totally caught up in how hot they are and how hot they look fucking hot guys. The others are guys who have been hit up repeatedly by guys they are NOT in anyway attracted to, told them so and they don’t give up. Even though for taking cock I don’t have to approve of a mans looks (in fact I’d prefer you be less “pretty”), if I were dating yes it would matter. I also understand I am a bit odd in that I don’t have to be attracted to the mans face to take his glorious cock and cum. Not true for everyone. So, I usually breeze past this profiles. I give them the benefit of the doubt that they tend to get unwanted attention rather than are totally self absorbed and snobby.

i get unwanted attention on some apps as well. I deal with it by chatting and being polite while consistently shifting chat away from sex and repeating the no. Others get annoyed and try to avoid the situation. Conflict and telling someone no, potentially hurting feelings is not everyone’s cup of tea. Maybe I’m giving the “bat in your league” guys too much credit but I prefer to err in benefit of the doubt

[tallslenderguy]

6 hours ago, Willsuck4cum said:

I know some guys who list a variation of this. A fair chunk, of those I know, are too good for the average “8” let alone a 5 or less. Aka snobby and totally caught up in how hot they are and how hot they look fucking hot guys. The others are guys who have been hit up repeatedly by guys they are NOT in anyway attracted to, told them so and they don’t give up. Even though for taking cock I don’t have to approve of a mans looks (in fact I’d prefer you be less “pretty”), if I were dating yes it would matter. I also understand I am a bit odd in that I don’t have to be attracted to the mans face to take his glorious cock and cum. Not true for everyone. So, I usually breeze past this profiles. I give them the benefit of the doubt that they tend to get unwanted attention rather than are totally self absorbed and snobby.

i get unwanted attention on some apps as well. I deal with it by chatting and being polite while consistently shifting chat away from sex and repeating the no. Others get annoyed and try to avoid the situation. Conflict and telling someone no, potentially hurting feelings is not everyone’s cup of tea. Maybe I’m giving the “bat in your league” guys too much credit but I prefer to err in benefit of the doubt

i think i understand what you are saying, but "bat in your own league" doesn't seem well thought out to me, kind of reflexive.   i think any guy who would say "bat in your league" in their profile is being presumptuous.  It's a preemptive strike, but it assumes there is a universal standard out there that puts us all into a "league" of some sort and that everyone can be aware of their 'league' prior to approaching someone.  That's just not true.

i've had guys hit on me that i thought were way out of my 'league,'  and i didn't reject their bat because of how i felt. 

i think guys who are too obtuse to take "no" for an answer are just not respectful of other people, i don't think it has anything to do with what 'league' they are in.

[BootmanLA]

9 hours ago, bbzh said:

Why can't the picky person mention the type of guys he is attracted to, instead of using terms like BIYOL or stating something like no fats, no fems, no hairy guys, no blacks, no latinos, no older guys etc.

Not that I disagree with expressing likes/wants in the affirmative rather than the negative, but those "affirmative" statements can be almost as off-putting. For instance, someone saying "I'm ONLY attracted to VERY muscular men - if you have to ask if you qualify, you probably don't".

I also don't see how "I'm ONLY interested in WHITE guys" is any less offensive than "No blacks/Asians".

What really underlies this attitude, I think, is that these self-centered asswipes think they are somehow inconvenienced by having to politely turn someone down, as though "Sorry, but I'm not interested - but thanks!" is beneath their dignity to utter.

[cumslutfuckpig]

Around here they ask if you’re generous.  I just have to laugh.