Have you ever been raped?

[Shotsfired]

47 minutes ago, BreedingTop71 said:

I was 15 and was already hairy and muscular and full of hormones. I was a pest in school always teasing this one feminine guy and calling him a fag. 
 

one day after PE I had taken a shower, staying a little longer cause I wanted to JO in the locker room and wanted to be alone. We had company that week and I was sharing my room with family. 
 

low and behold the same kid I was bullying was also staying late, for different reasons, I suspect he didn’t want anyone to see him naked. He saw me semi-hard and I noticed he checked me out so I got out of the shower and started teasing him. Before I knew it I forced my dick inside him as he kept saying no, to please stop. 
 

I came in about 10 seconds and it felt awesome. that was my first time. 
 

he ran away and in spite of him saying no that time he always found a way to stay behind with me in the locker rooms. I am happy to say he took good care of my dick growing up. 
 

I always took him rough. I didn’t know any better so I just rammed it in. I put spit on my dick not to avoid hurting him but to avoid scratching my dick. I always came quickly so I don’t think it was too painful for him. 
 

but it marked me. I am into bondage now. Not sure if that has anything to do with anything but I enjoy being a slave owner and enforce some serious discipline. 
 

I also workout a lot so I have been lucky in that none of the faggots I have used have ever really said NO to me. They have always come back for more   

I don't know how to feel about what you just wrote. It's interesting to hear from a perpetrator, but as someone who has worked with rape victims and a survivor myself I have all kinds of red flags. 

There is absolutely not one shred of remorse. 

There was something going on with you before you raped that poor kid. The attack itself seems more about taking power and control over a person you deemed inferior due to his feminine qualities, which makes me wonder what happened to you to make you amp up and actually rape someone at that age. These things tend to be cyclical. Where you abused yourself prior, was there the threat of abuse, or was there someone the family extremely hated for being effeminate? Or is this just a troll?

Also, you keep halfheartedly trying to let yourself off the hook. "I didn't know any better," "Its okay because I was quick," "no one really says no to me" are troubling statements.  They don't take responsibility.  

Just because someone keeps coming back doesn't mean they aren't traumatized.  In fact it can be because of trauma. It in no way absolves you from the rape.

And now you are predating in the BDSM Community.  You are kind of the model of who we don't want in the Master role outside of fantasy.  How many bottoms could you just not hear? Etc. 

Also masculinity still seems to be an issue for you. You finish by reminding us you have value because you work out. That's a predator.  There is no attempt at redemption.  The fact that you are telling this story to a group of men that have been rape victims, some of whom still unfairly blame themselves, is a very telling sign that your intent is possibly victimization of the more vulnerable men on this thread. That tells me you still have the urge to rape and that you may be heading toward an escalation.  It would be interesting to know what you are NOT telling us. 

I would probably volunteer to meet up is the twisted thing.   My rape was my first time by two "straight" guys.  I have wanted to recreate that moment. I have never gotten close. Haven't met the right predator. 

I am not judging as much as analyzing, but if you are feeling violent urges please seek help from a mental health professional.  The damage you inflict is real and ruins lives.  Which is probably pointless for me to say, because that is part of your intention, right?

[BreedingTop71]

42 minutes ago, Shotsfired said:

I don't know how to feel about what you just wrote. It's interesting to hear from a perpetrator, but as someone who has worked with rape victims and a survivor myself I have all kinds of red flags. 

There is absolutely not one shred of remorse. 

There was something going on with you before you raped that poor kid. The attack itself seems more about taking power and control over a person you deemed inferior due to his feminine qualities, which makes me wonder what happened to you to make you amp up and actually rape someone at that age. These things tend to be cyclical. Where you abused yourself prior, was there the threat of abuse, or was there someone the family extremely hated for being effeminate? Or is this just a troll?

Also, you keep halfheartedly trying to let yourself off the hook. "I didn't know any better," "Its okay because I was quick," "no one really says no to me" are troubling statements.  They don't take responsibility.  

Just because someone keeps coming back doesn't mean they aren't traumatized.  In fact it can be because of trauma. It in no way absolves you from the rape.

And now you are predating in the BDSM Community.  You are kind of the model of who we don't want in the Master role outside of fantasy.  How many bottoms could you just not hear? Etc. 

Also masculinity still seems to be an issue for you. You finish by reminding us you have value because you work out. That's a predator.  There is no attempt at redemption.  The fact that you are telling this story to a group of men that have been rape victims, some of whom still unfairly blame themselves, is a very telling sign that your intent is possibly victimization of the more vulnerable men on this thread. That tells me you still have the urge to rape and that you may be heading toward an escalation.  It would be interesting to know what you are NOT telling us. 

I would probably volunteer to meet up is the twisted thing.   My rape was my first time by two "straight" guys.  I have wanted to recreate that moment. I have never gotten close. Haven't met the right predator. 

I am not judging as much as analyzing, but if you are feeling violent urges please seek help from a mental health professional.  The damage you inflict is real and ruins lives.  Which is probably pointless for me to say, because that is part of your intention, right?

So many assumptions. Wow. A couple of thoughts come to mind. First one is how much of this is projecting as opposed to analyzing. Second of all, have you looked around you, on this site? Majority of hungry bottoms in here find a situation like the one I describe as “hot” and the beginning of what they are as adults, for better or worse. 
 

if you really want to go technical, the Part of the brain that really tells us right from wrong is not fully developed until we are 21. That’s why teenagers don’t get judged as adults. Unless you are black, then of course all bets are off. 
 

but I digress. 
 

this is supposed to be a forum where you can tell your own experience. Not a forum where you open your past about your sexuality and get judgement passed on you. 
 

Some people make everything about themselves so they can victimize themselves all over again. 
 

and for the record, I don’t predate anyone on BDSM sites. I am clear and explicit about what I like. And discuss limits beforehand. And I am responsible with my subs. Matter of fact tend to have LTR with them. The only abuse I ever get continues to be from repressed people who call themselves sex positive but are the total opposite thereof. 
 

and yes. I was 15. 

[Shotsfired]

51 minutes ago, BreedingTop71 said:

So many assumptions. Wow. A couple of thoughts come to mind. First one is how much of this is projecting as opposed to analyzing. Second of all, have you looked around you, on this site? Majority of hungry bottoms in here find a situation like the one I describe as “hot” and the beginning of what they are as adults, for better or worse. 
 

if you really want to go technical, the Part of the brain that really tells us right from wrong is not fully developed until we are 21. That’s why teenagers don’t get judged as adults. Unless you are black, then of course all bets are off. 
 

but I digress. 
 

this is supposed to be a forum where you can tell your own experience. Not a forum where you open your past about your sexuality and get judgement passed on you. 
 

Some people make everything about themselves so they can victimize themselves all over again. 
 

and for the record, I don’t predate anyone on BDSM sites. I am clear and explicit about what I like. And discuss limits beforehand. And I am responsible with my subs. Matter of fact tend to have LTR with them. The only abuse I ever get continues to be from repressed people who call themselves sex positive but are the total opposite thereof. 
 

and yes. I was 15. 

Part of the reason I said that I don't know how to feel about it is that I am one of those bottoms who find "stories" like that hot, but they are usually in the fiction section. So it is a bit of shock to have someone admit that they committed an actual crime and don't feel bad about it because the guy wasn't hurt that badly.

And your point of view isn't of someone who regrets a choice that harmed another person potentially.  And blaming your actions on being a minor is still a justification. What have you learned or not learned? What are your takeaways from the experience looking back?

It would be interesting and clarifying to know how you would advise your 15 year old self now in retrospect.

Big difference between fiction and reality. Also a huge difference between rape survivors who are processing their experiences through erotic exploration and fetishization and someone who commits rape and writes about like it's an old fishing story from the good old days. 

Hence why I am not sure how to feel about it.  Hence asking questions and looking at how you wrote what you wrote. Behavioral analyses through writing does come off as judgemental and I apologize for that. I should have put things more in the form of actual questions.  I was going where the writing was pointing. 

I am glad you are responsible with your subs.  There are a lot of tops that do abuse trust and limits, so I am glad you clarified that you do not. 

What was at the root of your treatment of the fem boy? I am curious if it was just internalized fear about your own sexuality or something else.  Do you have any self doubt or regret about that choice? Did you not understand what rape was at 15? The law is not an indicator of morality by any means 

Its great to have  my assumptions  challenged and feelings tweaked in your post. I am a beta and very submissive. Its wild when the alpha you've fantasized about becomes real in a sense. It created an internal conflict between different aspects of myself. Professional me and moral me is very much against what you did and are worried you'll do it again. The submissive me and the fantasy side of me would walk down a dark alley wanting to meet you. 

And I still want to know if you think what you did was wrong. Also, would you mind explaining how you meant projecting? I haven't raped anyone so I am not projecting that. You did that. But if you meant projecting my feelings as a victim on your victim that is quite possibly valid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 24, 2021 by Shotsfired
typos and clarification

[Guest]

I too have been raped in my teens and into my twenties several times I often not to say that all the time it happened I struggled and tried to resist it as i felt very violated and did not want it. but now looking back and even several years now looking back I not only think of it in a postive mood, but so want to be raped again. I admit i have become more precious and so want a man to rape me and make me feel violated again but so feel pleasure and enjoyment when i think about it and so want to realize this again.

[BreedingTop71]

35 minutes ago, mikeboi1 said:

I too have been raped in my teens and into my twenties several times I often not to say that all the time it happened I struggled and tried to resist it as i felt very violated and did not want it. but now looking back and even several years now looking back I not only think of it in a postive mood, but so want to be raped again. I admit i have become more precious and so want a man to rape me and make me feel violated again but so feel pleasure and enjoyment when i think about it and so want to realize this again.

I get it. I understand why you feel this way. Problem is that as adults it is a very fine line between what is illegal behavior and not. The consensual non-consensual is a thing but it must be agreed upon. 

[BreedingTop71]

43 minutes ago, Shotsfired said:

Part of the reason I said that I don't know how to feel about it is that I am one of those bottoms who find "stories" like that hot, but they are usually in the fiction section. So it is a bit of shock to have someone admit that they committed an actual crime and don't feel bad about it because the guy wasn't hurt that badly.

And your point of view isn't of someone who regrets a choice that harmed another person potentially.  And blaming your actions on being a minor is still a justification. What have you learned or not learned? What are your takeaways from the experience looking back?

It would be interesting and clarifying to know how you would advise your 15 year old self now in retrospect.

Big difference between fiction and reality. Also a huge difference between rape survivors who are processing their experiences through erotic exploration and fetishization and someone who commits rape and writes about like it's an old fishing story from the good old days. 

Hence why I am not sure how to feel about it.  Hence asking questions and looking at how you wrote what you wrote. Behavioral analyses through writing does come off as judgemental and I apologize for that. I should have put things more in the form of actual questions.  I was going where the writing was pointing. 

I am glad you are responsible with your subs.  There are a lot of tops that do abuse trust and limits, so I am glad you clarified that you do not. 

What was at the root of your treatment of the fem boy? I am curious if it was just internalized fear about your own sexuality or something else.  Do you have any self doubt or regret about that choice? Did you not understand what rape was at 15? The law is not an indicator of morality by any means 

Its great to have  my assumptions  challenged and feelings tweaked in your post. I am a beta and very submissive. Its wild when the alpha you've fantasized about becomes real in a sense. It created an internal conflict between different aspects of myself. Professional me and moral me is very much against what you did and are worried you'll do it again. The submissive me and the fantasy side of me would walk down a dark alley wanting to meet you. 

And I still want to know if you think what you did was wrong. Also, would you mind explaining how you meant projecting? I haven't raped anyone so I am not projecting that. You did that. But if you meant projecting my feelings as a victim on your victim that is quite possibly valid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am very much real. I am a total Alpha and you being a beta know that Alphas are entitled by nature. I understand you may have gotten hurt. I am a survivor too, which is probably the reason why of so many things..... but that is not my justification. And neither is my age at that time. If I could talk to my younger self I would explain to him why he was feeling attracted to that fem boy. Not because of internalized self hate but rather because deep down I knew he complemented my needs. His passivity in taking my taunts was what turns me on. Many times I would get hard as I would see his soft responses. I remember that vividly. I didn’t know what to make of my responses and in all honesty felt guilty for years afterwards until I finally reconnected with him. He is a proud gay man and has a preference for bondage as well. We didn’t have sex but we were able to talk about it and that conversation made me understand better that part about myself that feeds on my he submissive and it is always hungry. The only way to deal with the guilt and the shame of being someone who gets aroused with the pain of his sexual partner was to look for consensual relationships and expire after nauseam limits and ways to be a responsible owner. My slave is a wonderful man who loves to be in permanent chastity for me. He gladly renounced his manhood for me without so much as a question. He knew I consider the penis a tool of aggression (my past coming back to haunt me) so he removed it from the equation. 
 

I managed to turn a bad sad situation for me into something beautiful and another display of what a healthy relationship can be. And I am proud of my past because it took me where I am today and made what I am. I am an Alpha. I am entitled to use and enjoy betas. I am not interested in men or gay men. I am very much interested in submissive who know that the only way for them to be happy is to surrender themselves to a Superior whom they can trust and let him use them for his pleasure. 
 

I think you and I would get along just fine. I don’t like my subs to be dumb or uneducated. I submit my subs not with physical blows, though I admit I enjoy that during sex. Outside the bedroom I am 1000% pure testosterone, all muscle, all dominant. And once it is agreed upon, I take what’s mine and use it until I am satisfied. And then is back to watching a movie together and eating popcorn. 

[ErosWired]

@BreedingTop71 - The topic of the thread, as expressed by the OP, is “have you been raped” - a question both explicitly and implicitly directed at the victims of sexual aggression to canvass their qualified viewpoint. To barge in and hijack such a thread, where men are sharing some pretty personal and sensitive shit, with an unapologetic pro-rape manifesto is crudely misplaced, and wildly inappropriate in this context.

 That’s not to say your discussion lacks interest - in a thread of its own, I imagine it would stimulate a fair amount of commentary.

Read the room, man.

Edited February 24, 2021 by ErosWired

[Guest MusclepigcunT]

Yes, I have - a few times.  (Names have been changed).  I was very involved in church. I was very lean and completely hairless. I was effeminate and therefore a target.  I was called faggot by my dad, uncles and cousins. 

One such occasion was a roided out leather Daddy in a big city. It was a play party and he came just for me.  He was well known in the community, giving money to politicians and was a big fundraiser.  He owned the biggest leather bar in town, several restaurants and lots of prime real estate in the gayborhood. 

He raped me for hours while others watched and cheered him on. I felt dirty, but felt I could do nothing against this powerful man. Before he left, he said I’d be begging him for more.

I saw him at a leather bar he owned and he told me that if I wanted to patronize his bar that I needed to go home with him.  Dozens of people saw me leave with him.  He took me home and raped me and had several other men over to rape me.  He sort of brainwashed me by telling me that this made me desirable in the leather community and I should be honored to have such sexy men want me.

I connected with my rapists and declined to report it. It brought sexual pleasure to these men.  In a way, I felt prized for my sexual talents. Sexual talents developed because of my promiscuity.  The frequent FF made it easier to accommodate aggressive insertion.  

The man at the bar ended up being my Daddy for awhile, even though he told me the only thing I was good for was my ass. I was introduced to a lot of masculine sexy men.  I became extremely promiscuous viewing bottoming as my destiny.

Even today, I view sex as something that I as sexually submissive have a duty to perform for as many sexually dominant men as possible. I’ve tried to have intimate connected sex and it doesn’t work for me.  The more sexually aggressive the top is, the better.

It’s like the porn where the top just uses the bottom and the bottom sucks the top’s cock and completely ignores the bottoms cock. Or the top doesn’t get fucked and even though the bottom isn’t wearing a jock with his dick exposed, the top could care less?  Where the top is selfish and only cares about his pleasure and the bottom is simply an ass to breed? That is the way I think.  

Perhaps it’s fucked up because of the rape, but that is the way I view myself.

[BreedingTop71]

2 hours ago, MusclepigcunT said:

Yes, I have - a few times.  (Names have been changed).  I was very involved in church. I was very lean and completely hairless. I was effeminate and therefore a target.  I was called faggot by my dad, uncles and cousins. 

One such occasion was a roided out leather Daddy in a big city. It was a play party and he came just for me.  He was well known in the community, giving money to politicians and was a big fundraiser.  He owned the biggest leather bar in town, several restaurants and lots of prime real estate in the gayborhood. 

He raped me for hours while others watched and cheered him on. I felt dirty, but felt I could do nothing against this powerful man. Before he left, he said I’d be begging him for more.

I saw him at a leather bar he owned and he told me that if I wanted to patronize his bar that I needed to go home with him.  Dozens of people saw me leave with him.  He took me home and raped me and had several other men over to rape me.  He sort of brainwashed me by telling me that this made me desirable in the leather community and I should be honored to have such sexy men want me.

I connected with my rapists and declined to report it. It brought sexual pleasure to these men.  In a way, I felt prized for my sexual talents. Sexual talents developed because of my promiscuity.  The frequent FF made it easier to accommodate aggressive insertion.  

The man at the bar ended up being my Daddy for awhile, even though he told me the only thing I was good for was my ass. I was introduced to a lot of masculine sexy men.  I became extremely promiscuous viewing bottoming as my destiny.

Even today, I view sex as something that I as sexually submissive have a duty to perform for as many sexually dominant men as possible. I’ve tried to have intimate connected sex and it doesn’t work for me.  The more sexually aggressive the top is, the better.

It’s like the porn where the top just uses the bottom and the bottom sucks the top’s cock and completely ignores the bottoms cock. Or the top doesn’t get fucked and even though the bottom isn’t wearing a jock with his dick exposed, the top could care less?  Where the top is selfish and only cares about his pleasure and the bottom is simply an ass to breed? That is the way I think.  

Perhaps it’s fucked up because of the rape, but that is the way I view myself.

Theres nothing wrong with that. Shame though that you cannot connect emotionally. There are many aggressive tops out there like me, who like rough aggressive sex and deny the bottom of orgasms (you guys do not need them! Only the Man should cum, not the fag) but that doesn’t keep us from having a relationship. 

[TightBott7]

26 minutes ago, BreedingTop71 said:

Theres nothing wrong with that. Shame though that you cannot connect emotionally. There are many aggressive tops out there like me, who like rough aggressive sex and deny the bottom of orgasms (you guys do not need them! Only the Man should cum, not the fag) but that doesn’t keep us from having a relationship. 

“Only the Man should cum, not the fag...” boy, how true, a whole universe lies in that statement 

[Fulfilling]

I was raped at gunpoint when I was 14.  I was walking home from football practice at night and took an unfortunate short cut behind an elementary school.  I assumed that he was going to kill me and I was shocked when he allowed me to walk away with his teaming sperm inside me.  Sat home for dinner across from my mother with cum leaking from my ass.  I never told a soul until a therapist decades later.  At age 36, married to a woman and with four young children, I began craving unprotected sex with gay men and I haven't stopped.  I am now thankful to my rapist for creating me to crave raw sperm and to present the treasures from the gay community to my wife's pelvis.

[Guest MusclepigcunT]

On 2/23/2021 at 4:51 PM, BreedingTop71 said:

I was 15 and was already hairy and muscular and full of hormones. I was a pest in school always teasing this one feminine guy and calling him a fag. 
 

one day after PE I had taken a shower, staying a little longer cause I wanted to JO in the locker room and wanted to be alone. We had company that week and I was sharing my room with family. 
 

low and behold the same kid I was bullying was also staying late, for different reasons, I suspect he didn’t want anyone to see him naked. He saw me semi-hard and I noticed he checked me out so I got out of the shower and started teasing him. Before I knew it I forced my dick inside him as he kept saying no, to please stop. 
 

I came in about 10 seconds and it felt awesome. that was my first time. 
 

he ran away and in spite of him saying no that time he always found a way to stay behind with me in the locker rooms. I am happy to say he took good care of my dick growing up. 
 

I always took him rough. I didn’t know any better so I just rammed it in. I put spit on my dick not to avoid hurting him but to avoid scratching my dick. I always came quickly so I don’t think it was too painful for him. 
 

but it marked me. I am into bondage now. Not sure if that has anything to do with anything but I enjoy being a slave owner and enforce some serious discipline. 
 

I also workout a lot so I have been lucky in that none of the faggots I have used have ever really said NO to me. They have always come back for more   

That sounds like heaven to me.  I was raped and look at what you did as something that is natural.  I too, came back for more and the rape was just a conditioning to look forward to it.  I’m glad there are men like you out there.

[Guygonebad]

I have been raped twice...once in an Amsterdam bar bathroom, after being drugged...I wrote about that one on BZ somewhere else so I won’t repeat it here.

The second time I was raped was just three years ago in Mexico City. I was there for work. When my two days of work was over I decided to stay for Friday and Saturday night. I relocated to a small boutique hotel in the zona Rosa, like 30 rooms, small tight room, not much bigger then the double bed. I had advertised on bbrt that I was open to a “...CumDump event taking all cocks 9 P.M. to late.” I had arranged a deal with the door security guard to let guys up. My Spanish is minimal, but having lots of guys fucking and breeding me in a foreign country, by myself sounds fun. Not really they smartest thing I have ever done. 

It started fun, I was naked, ass up on the bed, door unlocked, I’d give the guys the word to tell the door guard to let them to the elevator. One then two guys, would come in, fuck and breed then leave. I’d had 12 or 15 loads by midnight. I was tired but horny so I kept going. I had a lull until near 1 A.M. then multiple guys asked to come over as many of you know they rarely show up when they say they will. So as I’m chatting with guys, I ok a few more and a few more. In a bit I must have had 7 or 8 guys standing in my very small room, around the bed, jerking their cocks waiting for their turn in my ass. I could smell the alcohol. It was hot in the room, sweating. I could see off to the side this bigger, muscular, thick guy, older than the younger skinnier guys in the room. He finally moves behind me, he yanks me back toward the edge of the bed and starts forcing his very huge cock inside me. It hurt, but he wasn’t getting it in my sloppy open hole, so I tried to help him. He just kept forcing it. It was hurting bad. So I pushed him off me and rolled over to ask him to be more careful. He just lookef at me kind of angry; probably didn’t completely understand me. When I roll back over he starts talking and next thing I knew I had a guy on my back, guys holding my legs and arms down. I was pinned down, I tried to squirm away, I could not. I tried to yell and had someone’s underwear stuck in my mouth. Then I could feel him behind me get up on me and slammed his huge cock into me. It hurt like hell. I tried to move, but was pinned down. Some guy in good English said into my ear, “...just relax and take it. You know this is what you want, good Mexican dick inside you so you can take home Mexican babies.” I tried to struggle. I finally stopped. It hurt. Soon he was finished. He gave orders. They changed positions, but never enough for me to get them off me. After a few more bred me. They let up. The big guy that raped me was in my face and said in very accented English. “...don’t ever disrespect me and say no to me when I want to fuck.” He gave my face a hard slap and left my room. I sat on the bed while the other few guys dressed and individually left. It was traumatic at the time when strange men take away your choice, and you’re all alone. Today when I travel, it’s still a risk, but I never have groups more than three in my room unless there is someone else there I know. 

Though today I do jerk off to the memory of him fucking me like that...

[ronnie4u]

I have a Question - if being a older teenager enjoying sports with the boys in competition - showering afterwords - knowing what is straight and gay is - being at drinking party's with the guys .

I was strong , active in sports , good shape / weight lifting , and a nice uncut dick .

Curious - is it rape being drinking or getting high - having guys enjoying playing with my uncut dick - sucking it - allowing them -  getting serviced - allowing doing things to me ?

[Kimberley]

Almost been raped once. i was 17 and still straight for my own, struggling with my desires to have sex with men.

on a day i needed a ride back home after a fight with friends and we where in another city, i had no money in my pockets so i decided to get a ride nearby the highway. a old men stopped i think he was in his 70s, asked me where i needed to go and he was willing to give me that ride. we drove for some time when he suddenly put his hand on my leg and saying he want something in return for the ride. i really wasn't knowing what he meant till he reached to his pants and took his cock out of his pants. i immediately felt uncomfortable and asked him what he was doing. he said that he wanted that i suck his cock while he drove or otherwise he wouldn't bring me further. i was shocked. he took my head to his crotch and was force me to put his dick into my mouth. i pushed my head away from his crotch and was saying i didn't want it and just drop me off. i was so scared at that moment. he took the first exit and drops me in the middle of nowhere near the highway. had to arrange another ride to get home.

later i was started thinking about it much, i even regretted it. i should have sucked him off. it has could been my first cock ever that i was desire even more back then