Becoming a reject and options?

[Guest Xtraglazedonuthole]

Recently, and not the whole pandemic but the last few months, I cannot hookup. I don't really go to gay bars but when I do I never get hit on or picked up,  so pretty much my only option is grindr/ jackd. Now I'm not the sexiest person in the world but I think I'm atleast decent/ fuckable. But lately absolutely no one will fuck with me. No responses to my messages or ppl set up plans and then just stop messaging. It's so bad I started to wonder if a bad rumor had been spread or I'd been blacklisted somehow. Pretty much the only guaranteed sex I get now is at the bathhouse. Is that what I have to do now? 31 and confined to bathhouse sex? Should I just start cruising and try my luck on the streets? Has anyone else been in this situation?

[ErosWired]

I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions about you becoming a reject. The last few months have been a bad time for hookups all around. The hookup environment on the apps has been losing ground for some time - the problem of guys setting plans and then ghosting or flaking has become almost an epidemic itself - and the coronavirus pandemic has made most men cagey about connecting in ways that have nothing to do with whether the other guy is fuckable. When any of us could be infectious, none of us are fuckable for many guys.

Whether you’re doing something in your self-presentation that is working against you is impossible to say without observing you in action or examining your profiles in detail. Even then, any response would only be a reflection of personal taste and therefore not very useful in general. For now, until things settle out a bit more, just look at the difficulty as a sign of the times, and don’t get discouraged.

And if you can get bathhouse sex - you’re better off than many of us whose bathhouses are either still closed or only partially available. Enjoy that as much as you can.

[UpstateNYexplorer]

You're really just describing how flaky a lot of these people are when it comes to hook up apps. I feel a lot of people are on there just to enjoy the fantasy and have no intentions of ever meeting someone. And then in the case you do finally find someone interested, Your interests have to compliment their interest, Who is gonna host, Where are you gonna meet and when. There's so much more that goes into actually hooking up online that ones you weed out all the fakes/flakes, you aren't left with a lot of options. I know guys that simply frequent bathhouses or adult stores just because it is so much easier to hook up there than deal with all this nonsense going on online.

[Guest Xtraglazedonuthole]

10 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions about you becoming a reject. The last few months have been a bad time for hookups all around. The hookup environment on the apps has been losing ground for some time - the problem of guys setting plans and then ghosting or flaking has become almost an epidemic itself - and the coronavirus pandemic has made most men cagey about connecting in ways that have nothing to do with whether the other guy is fuckable. When any of us could be infectious, none of us are fuckable for many guys.

Whether you’re doing something in your self-presentation that is working against you is impossible to say without observing you in action or examining your profiles in detail. Even then, any response would only be a reflection of personal taste and therefore not very useful in general. For now, until things settle out a bit more, just look at the difficulty as a sign of the times, and don’t get discouraged.

And if you can get bathhouse sex - you’re better off than many of us whose bathhouses are either still closed or only partially available. Enjoy that as much as you can.

That's fair. It's just that when apps are basically your sole method of meeting/ hooking up with ppl and there's ZERO engagement all of a sudden....I don't wanna say it's the worst problem but a significant one. And the bathhouse is great and all but 30+ dollars for a hit or miss situation isn't always ideal.

..

[NLbear]

Apps are flaky and certainly now with the pandemic. Look at it this way: you do get sex at a bathhouse so you know you're fuckable. Maybe have a good luck at your profille and/or pics on those apps and see if they need an update?

[Guest Xtraglazedonuthole]

27 minutes ago, NLbear said:

Apps are flaky and certainly now with the pandemic. Look at it this way: you do get sex at a bathhouse so you know you're fuckable. Maybe have a good luck at your profille and/or pics on those apps and see if they need an update?

Also true, but in feel like the intent is so clear at a bathhouse most ppl are gonna get some kinda action so idk how go of a gauge that is. My pics are relatively new also. There's just a strange vibe around here and I know everyone's saying the pandemic, but why log on then? The app definitely isnt empty and I can't believe everyone's just chatting. Maybe I'm just becoming more aware idk. 

[NastyRigPig]

You’re entering the awkward years, too old to be a boi, too old for daddy, and people think you should be settling down.  Just always remember the best sex organ is your brain and the second is a thick skin. 

[Guest Xtraglazedonuthole]

10 minutes ago, NastyRigPig said:

You’re entering the awkward years, too old to be a boi, too old for daddy, and people think you should be settling down.  Just always remember the best sex organ is your brain and the second is a thick skin. 

I got the feeling I was. I definitely expected to be dead before this point lol

[BlackDude]

I’ve been through that phase before but I had to keep it real with myself. I was telling myself no one wants to hook up but the truth was if I REALLY wanted to fuck, I had 4-5 decent tricks I could contact and someone would come through to fuck.

Truth was I just wanted some new ass, new experience. I know being black, about 60% of the guys are eliminated, but I truly believe their is a market for everyone of u look hard enough and are open.  If your really horny, instead of waiting for that perfect 10, hit up that cool 7 who can host, fucks right, and you know is into u. 

Edited May 3, 2021 by BlackDude

[senzasella]

@BlackDude nailed it. I really had to check myself in almost the exact same way a couple of weeks ago. And since then I've had a couple of great fucks and had almost forgotten how unfuckable I was feeling.

[Guest Xtraglazedonuthole]

6 hours ago, BlackDude said:

I’ve been through that phase before but I had to keep it real with myself. I was telling myself no one wants to hook up but the truth was if I REALLY wanted to fuck, I had 4-5 decent tricks I could contact and someone would come through to fuck.

Truth was I just wanted some new ass, new experience. I know being black, about 60% of the guys are eliminated, but I truly believe their is a market for everyone of u look hard enough and are open.  If your really horny, instead of waiting for that perfect 10, hit up that cool 7 who can host, fucks right, and you know is into u. 

I've had this same conversation with myself and I agree to an extent. Even as I say all this I have two super inconsistent fuck buddies that 9/10 will hmu within the month, so I can't say I'm totally without. But 4-5? Nah ur lucky lol that's almost the problem I feel like the decent looking guys, not supermodels or gymrats but decent which is were I feel I fall, aren't really fucking with eachother. I'm active/ fit with a bit of a gut. Not perfect but I think I'm sexy enough and I look for that in other guys cuz I feel like they're kinda my range, but I feel like those same guys are fixated on a handful of dudes that are never gonna want them. It's a fucked up cycle. 

[blackrobe]

8 hours ago, BlackDude said:

I’ve been through that phase before but I had to keep it real with myself. I was telling myself no one wants to hook up but the truth was if I REALLY wanted to fuck, I had 4-5 decent tricks I could contact and someone would come through to fuck.

Truth was I just wanted some new ass, new experience. I know being black, about 60% of the guys are eliminated, but I truly believe their is a market for everyone of u look hard enough and are open.  If your really horny, instead of waiting for that perfect 10, hit up that cool 7 who can host, fucks right, and you know is into u. 

I prefer regular guys, both in that they are not perfect, and that they are all about the repeats. Primped, preened, cut, and perfect looking men don't engage me. I'm more interested in what energy you bring to the sex. I'll take a 10 sex vibe in just about any body and mind it comes packaged in.

I'm always surprised at the guys I have an incredible connection with who don't seem to get much play from other men. Tastes vary, but still... 

[CumDumpSLT]

Yeah I have to agree with the awkward years comment which I’ve experienced being almost 40 compared to when I was 18. When I was a teenager I had two of my neighbors fucking me, constant randoms pretty much on a regular, then there was also my parents tenant that had a freakishly enormous cock that would give it to me on a daily basis sometimes more than once and always blew these ridiculous thick loads. The way it started was when he caught me getting fucked and when the other guy ran away he walked around me and took over where the other guy left off. He wasn’t nice, wasn’t gentile but the exact opposite. He bent me over, pushed me down, kicking my legs apart and basically raped me raw while calling me a faggot slut, ignoring my screams and cries, rearranging my insides until he blew his load inside me. He pulled out his dick, pulled his pants back up and left me a hot mess like some dirty worthless street whore

[Guest]

It gets worse as you get older hate to say, so get it all while you can.

I am not photogenic in the least so I am very picky about the pics I will post, nor do I  show my face in my profile pics. I have a decent gym body for a guy my age, I even made the "Most Woofed List"  but when I'm asked to unlock, there's then crickets. Recently I was told by a 25 year old on Scruff that I have a sexy body but not a sexy face. That hurt. Guys can be very catty online, their true colors come out when they are not face to face.

I do much better at rest areas, book stores and baths, Online hooking up simply does not work for me.

I 

Edited May 3, 2021 by Muscledadbod

[Guest Xtraglazedonuthole]

34 minutes ago, Muscledadbod said:

It gets worse as you get older hate to say, so get it all while you can.

I am not photogenic in the least so I am very picky about the pics I will post, nor do I  show my face in my profile pics. I have a decent gym body for a guy my age, I even made the "Most Woofed List"  but when I'm asked to unlock, there's then crickets. Recently I was told by a 25 year old on Scruff that I have a sexy body but not a sexy face. That hurt. Guys can be very catty online, their true colors come out when they are not face to face.

I do much better at rest areas, book stores and baths, Online hooking up simply does not work for me.

I 

Ur probably hot as fuck!