“Homophobic” at Work

[BlackDude]

So I have this guy working for me who I hired and promoted several times. Does a great job. Recently, another female coworker shared with me he stated he’s a big homophobe. Like totally anti-gay. Now he’s up for another big promotion, and feel some kind of way about it. He’s always been cool with me, and I know how much you can trust women gossiping at the office (very little). I would still pick him if he’s best for the job, but am I wrong to feel a little bitterness? I’m not out at work so I don’t want to bring it up, especially in my position. 
 

Yeah, yeah, I know I’m going to get the PC “hire the best person for the job,” but I’m human and we know the real world doesn’t work like that.

Edited May 12, 2021 by BlackDude

[blackrobe]

35 minutes ago, BlackDude said:

So I have this guy working for me who I hired and promoted several times. Does a great job. Recently, another female coworker shared with me he stated he’s a big homophobe. Like totally anti-gay. Now he’s up for another big promotion, and feel some kind of way about it. He’s always been cool with me, and I know how much you can trust women gossiping at the office (very little). I would still pick him if he’s best for the job, but am I wrong to feel a little bitterness? I’m not out at work so I don’t want to bring it up, especially in my position. 

Yeah, yeah, I know I’m going to get the PC “hire the best person for the job,” but I’m human and we know the real world doesn’t work like that.

Your feelings are valid and you're entitled to feel them. 

This employee might be cool with you but, if what you're been told is true, he wouldn't be cool with you if you were out. You've been dealing fairly with him but, if its true, he likely wouldn't be dealing fairly with you if your roles were reversed.

It's a crappy situation and none of your feelings about it are wrong. Only your actions regarding it can be judged.

[badubydo]

Not promoting somebody based on hearsay is a no-no.

 

Whether he is, or isn’t is a moot point. When at work, if he does his job, meets the metrics and does his job well he deserves the promotion as long as his personality fits. 
 

if he is actively promoting anti-gay, bigoted stuff while at work that is an issue. 
 

You cannot rely on hearsay. And if word got out he was denied a promotion due to his sexual beliefs, it won’t be good. 

[fskn]

I agree with @badubydo that hearsay shouldn't be the basis of a promotion decision.

That said, especially if this "big promotion" would give the employee responsibility for evaluating and hiring other employees, it is crucially important to determine whether the employee is homophobic. It's better to stop jerks before they can do economic harm.

I'd suggest asking an employment lawyer for specific advice about following up on a report that an employee is homophobic.

Reviews from other employees would not necessarily be hearsay, and multiple, independent reviews could give you solid information. Perhaps inviting a guest speaker from a GLBT speakers' bureau or other local GLBT organization, or scheduling mandatory anti-discrimination training, would give you an opportunity to directly observe the employee's responses to gay people and gay issues.

[BlackDude]

1 hour ago, badubydo said:

Not promoting somebody based on hearsay is a no-no.

 

Whether he is, or isn’t is a moot point. When at work, if he does his job, meets the metrics and does his job well he deserves the promotion as long as his personality fits. 
 

if he is actively promoting anti-gay, bigoted stuff while at work that is an issue. 
 

You cannot rely on hearsay. And if word got out he was denied a promotion due to his sexual beliefs, it won’t be good. 

I said I’d still pick him if he were best for the job.

[Guest Alphpig]

Hmmm. This is an interesting topic. since he has no clue you’re gay, chances are good that by now some remark would have come out. Men may not gossip but we do have bro talk and at some point a remark would have been said. Unless he’s aware that you’re gay. What was the context of the conversation that he was having with Miss Western Union? It’s an awfully specific topic. 

[bbzh]

If this guy is climbing the ladder, he's bound to have a gay subordinate at some point. If you have the power to do so, I'd make further advancement contingent upon diversity and inclusion training. If you can't pull that off, then I'd at least set up a meeting where you and HR have a talk with him - if he indeed gets the promotion - where you discuss the operational (and reputational) risk of the company getting sued over discriminatory practices, sexual harassment or creating a hostile work environment. I know it's tempting to want to follow the path of least resistance here, but as a gay black man and a leader, you do have some responsibility to do everything in your power not to be an enabler in this situation. If the gossiper is fabricating it all, it still would not hurt for the guy to understand the role of D&I in building and managing high performing teams. One more thing: you will feel some kind of way if this guy ends up being your boss one day or is in a position to directly affect your career. You shouldn't be apathetic just because he hasn't clocked that you're a fag...yet. 

[fskn]

Very well said, @bbzh.

The sad part is that, in most employment scenarios in most US states, it remains perfectly legal for a homophobic boss or company not to hire a job applicant, or to fire an employee, just because the person is gay. In states without employment protections for gay people, there might not be grounds for a lawsuit. Bad publicity would be possible if the company were a large, multi-state employer. By far the biggest risk to any company with systemic diversity problems is low productivity: the job applicants who are passed over, or the employees who are fired, might have been better performers than the ones who take their places.

I brought up seeking professional advice about handling a report that an employee is homophobic, and proposed observing the employee's behavior during some sort of GLBT-themed speech or workshop, because reducing homophobia in the workplace is the right thing to do economically and ethically, if not also legally.

[ejaculaTe]

6 hours ago, bbzh said:

If you can't pull that off, then I'd at least set up a meeting where you and HR have a talk with him - if he indeed gets the promotion - where you discuss the operational (and reputational) risk of the company getting sued over discriminatory practices, sexual harassment or creating a hostile work environment.

^ ^ ^ ^ This. Back in my working days, the HR person and I would have this type of chat with every new hire. That enabled me to jump on violators with both feet.

[SFCumdog]

Well don't you have an obligation as a manager to address that claim that your other employee made about his homophobia? If she told you that he had sexually harassed another employee, or had been making racist comments in the workplace, and you did nothing, wouldn't you become just as culpable as him for not escalating the situation? How is this then any different? Unless they are friends outside the workplace, something obviously happened during work hours that led to her sharing this with you as her manager. And if your sexuality is as well hidden a secret as you think it is, then she wasn't telling you this to alert you to his homophobia because you are gay. She was telling you this because it bothered her.  And if it bothered her, then I think you have a problem that you need to address that is completely separate from his potential promotion.

[DarkroomTaker]

This employee has a responsability to report this via the correct process. An investigation to take place to establish facts.

May or may not be true, but people have to be responsable and accountable for their gossip and actions. If proven this may fall under discrimination or hate crime. If she does not wish to report, you have a duty to do so.

[Phallarchist]

On 5/12/2021 at 3:22 PM, BlackDude said:

totally anti-gay

Can you describe what he said more specifically? There are vast differences between, e.g., simple disgust, and an opinion that homosexual behavior should be illegal, and an express desire to hurt or kill homosexuals.

[BlackDude]

1 hour ago, Phallarchist said:

Can you describe what he said more specifically? There are vast differences between, e.g., simple disgust, and an opinion that homosexual behavior should be illegal, and an express desire to hurt or kill homosexuals.

I am not sure specifically what he said. It was all hearsay from a good friend. A gossipy friend (who can be drama) but still a good friend. But knowing him, what the friend said has a ring of truth to it

[raw773]

On 5/12/2021 at 5:22 PM, BlackDude said:

I’m not out at work

Why not?

[BlackDude]

2 hours ago, raw773 said:

Why not?

Nobody’s business really.