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When I tested poz I was 19 and the world was a different place. Men were still dying of aids and the meds were not as good as today. I converted for a man that I wanted and thought the only way he would consider a long term situation is if I was poz like him. When I got the fuck flu I knew instantly I had it. Over the next week and a half I went through a lot of emotions. Regret was one. It made it all worth it when the man I converted for wanted me long term. He taught me a lot and I am happy how it all turned out.

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I’ve been poz for over eight years now. I had made my peace with it long before the day came, I’d been taking raw dick and loads since my early twenties—there was no going back from that as we all know.I do regret it some in hindsight only because it destroyed what had been a promising career; the military was actually how I found out (they require HIV tests annually, though mine was part of a flight physical) and I spent 18 months in a desperate struggle to even keep my career then spent the next 6 years having Uncle Sam deeply involved in every element of my health. There was a Lt Col that actually ordered me to always “wrap it up”… who happen to also be the biggest proponent of my immediate discharge. It was also a constant battle against bigotry and discrimination; I actually had a Squadron Superintendent (E-9) tell our Maintenance Officer that she considered me a threat to my peers, which is why she had been undermining my career advancement for years. Finally had enough during the chaos of all that happened in 2020 and called it quits… 

I wish PrEP had been something the military had offered and allowed back then, I’d have been on it religiously. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but it certainly colors my view of bug chasing or fetishizing HIV… 

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7 hours ago, TXcumdump said:

I’ve been poz for over eight years now. I had made my peace with it long before the day came, I’d been taking raw dick and loads since my early twenties—there was no going back from that as we all know.I do regret it some in hindsight only because it destroyed what had been a promising career; the military was actually how I found out (they require HIV tests annually, though mine was part of a flight physical) and I spent 18 months in a desperate struggle to even keep my career then spent the next 6 years having Uncle Sam deeply involved in every element of my health. There was a Lt Col that actually ordered me to always “wrap it up”… who happen to also be the biggest proponent of my immediate discharge. It was also a constant battle against bigotry and discrimination; I actually had a Squadron Superintendent (E-9) tell our Maintenance Officer that she considered me a threat to my peers, which is why she had been undermining my career advancement for years. Finally had enough during the chaos of all that happened in 2020 and called it quits… 

I wish PrEP had been something the military had offered and allowed back then, I’d have been on it religiously. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but it certainly colors my view of bug chasing or fetishizing HIV… 

Thank you for sharing that. I think it's important to consider all perspectives.

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I was 21 not taking PrEP the way I should and was very busy as a SW. I became very sick with the fuck flu was put in the hospital. There they told me I have HIV. At first I was devastated but then realized it was not a death sentence as it was. 

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My reaction was from a hospital bed, where a doctor informed me that I'd come within a few hours of dying from AIDS-related double pneumonia, and gave me my numbers. CD4 cell count of 34 and viral load of 106,000 - first thing I thought about was the guys I must have impregnated without knowing and that really turned me on.

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