I think i'm fed up of bottoms

[NWUSHorny]

47 minutes ago, JamesL100 said:

I've hardly ever had ALL my needs met from one guy!

I'm with you, that's why I prefer group situations over one on one.

[NWUSHorny]

I'll admit that I'm generally looking for the opposite of what the OP is looking for. While a little connection is nice, I'd far rather hookup with someone who is nothing more than a pump and dump (either top or bottom) than someone who wants to spend significant amount of time on getting to know each other and on foreplay. I've "hooked up" with far to many guys and invested the time only to find out they don't fuck in a casual hookup situation, and then think they have a claim on you.

[hntnhole]

7 hours ago, backdoorjimmy said:

But I think the coin has two sides here

Coins, by definition, always have two sides, as apparently, does the re-emergence of this thread. Of course you're entirely correct, backdoorjimmy - there are at least two sides of this particular coin.

There simply are no universal (within the confines of - oh - say, barebackers - or any other group of folks) traits that are carried by every person in that group.  

Yes, there are Tops who think this or that, and regulate their sexual behavior accordingly.  There are bottoms who do the same. We're not all cut from the same cloth - thank Whatever.  We're diverse, we have differing life experiences, and we're one part of a magnificent subset of humanity.  We develop all kinds of lovely depravities as our lives unfold, and expecting some magical Prince to meet every single one of them is unrealistic.  It can, and does happen, but not to all that many.  

So what to do?  I think we offer as much of ourselves as we're comfortable with to every guy we fuck.  If there's some chance of more, we offer more the next time we fuck.  At some point, the limit of the extra-sexual mating will either be reached, and each guy accepts the limits of the experience and moves on, or offers the whole enchilada, and maybe they move on together.  

The point is, we never know what kind of guy the rest of him will turn out to be after a hot fuck in some backroom or fuckjoint.  Or, off the fuck apps.  Sometimes the sex is so-so, sometimes the sex is great, and the rest isn't.  Sometimes the sex is only the beginning of something even more.  No guy will ever know what the possibilities are, unless he's active in "the life".  We take what's offered, and make the best of it.  If we don't participate in the maelstrom of Breeding men, then how can we legitimately complain that we don't get this or that?  

I'm with Sharp-Edge, above.  If there's more than just fucking available, great.  I had that once, and I wouldn't mind something similar again.  If the "something more" isn't in the cards, great - I'll fuck the guy anyway, and each guy appreciates what is, without pining for what wasn't available in the first place.  We just need to accept each other for who and what they are. 

[tallslenderguy]

i think it's cool to see how some mutate between then and now in some of these re awakened threads. 

i've never had an "ideal" relationship with a Man. i suspect ideal anything is more of a notion than a reality. i think some people manage to find more ideal than not, and so it works more than not and sustains. 

Some of my more emotionally satisfying experiences with Men has been with Fuck Buddies.  To me, a FB is just a variation of an open relationship.  Sort of a "let us be lovers..." without the "marry our fortunes together" part.  I've long fantasized over having a relationship with  a Man living in the same neighborhood or on the same block where my back door (yep, that's a double entendre) is always open to Him. One of my "ideals" is we're always there (sexually) for each other. i imagine waking in the middle of the night to Him pushing His cock into me because He needed to fuck.

Of course, for that to be a reality, some practical considerations would have to be modified, if not totally tossed out the window. For instance, the big one, clean out. The notion of spontaneous sex with a guaranteed pristine hole is a pure fantasy, yet that's pretty much all that's ever presented in movies, etc.. E.g., if i have a date with a Guy, and we go to dinner, i'm gonna be thinking and nervous about eating.  

The sex drive is fickle and often less than predictable.  Online has changed the way we have sex. Before online, we either fantasized and jerked off, sometimes with the added stimulation of pictures, or we went out and cruised and got sex IRL.  A lot of what used to happen IRL happens virtually now.  A big thing that is missing is visual/tonal communication. We do not get that online. Sure, we get a few pics (taken in ideal circumstances ten years ago, or so fuzzy you cannot tell what your gettting), but pics are a frozen moment in time. Versus gazing at another as they are 'IRL.' 

i wonder how much of an issue Sharpe-edge (or any of us) would have with 'warm up' if we didn't have smart phones and apps in the mix?   

[Starwood]

Also fits here is this trend I have found. The "I like you, I want to have sex with you, THEREFORE You will have sex with me"

Had 2 very pushy tops who were not who I was looking for. Got real grief off them when I told them, politely, that we were not a match. Also a bottom who believed "See cock, want cock, get cock" was a good enough reason for me to fuck him. It wasn't.

It really has become annoying.

[Liverpool]

I love kissing, cuddling etc. but most of all I just love pleasing my top. I'll do whatever they want. 

[hntnhole]

On 12/13/2022 at 3:16 PM, Starwood said:

Had 2 very pushy tops who were not who I was looking for.

On behalf of my Top brothers, regardless of their most inappropriate behavior - most likely rooted in lack of confidence, perhaps even inferiority - I apologize on their behalf.  I well know that some Tops just never think with anything but the "little" head.  

Keep trying - we're not all like that !!