What do people think "discreet" on grindr/scruff means?

[valldelxeno]

Title. I ask because I know people who have that they are discreet, but they are out of the closet to everyone and have a lot of "pluma" i.e. are a bit camp/stereotypical to boot. (The ones I'm thinking of in particular it actually suits them very well - no plumofobia!)  

But yeah just really struggling to see what is discreet about someone who is visibly gay and out to everyone...

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

Dunno, it’s a weird one, unless either they are cheating or trying to hide the fact they are sleeping around with randoms from people they know (playing the “good boy”)

[mblad99]

A lot of married guys use that.  Its a clue that they married.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Subfag4use88]

I get a lot of "discreet" guys wanting to fuck me cuz I'm 100% anon and blindfolded. They luv breeding my ass since they don't need to give me any personal information or pics

[evilalex]

48 minutes ago, ASS-UP-ANON-PIG said:

I get a lot of "discreet" guys wanting to fuck me cuz I'm 100% anon and blindfolded. They luv breeding my ass since they don't need to give me any personal information or pics

I want a turn on it.

[breedable70]

It gets even more confusing when they use discreet when they really mean discrete.

[cannero]

I've always read it two ways. One that they don't have an agreement with their partner to play outside their relationship. Or second they are a happy and out man who is keeping quiet about a slutty raw fucking lifestsyle. That is certainly me, which is why I'm never open about my face on places like BZ. It doesn't matter if you frequent saunas and sex clubs a lot, which precovid I did, there does seem to quite a strong understanding that what you see doesn't necessarily get discussed. One time in SBN I was ploughing some guy and looked up to see an ex's best friend doing the samething next to me. That never got back to the ex.

On the apps I guess the same protections and assumed anonymity that means there is bullying and harassment means people don't trust to be as out. I could see my ex's best friend maybe dobbing me in if he sees my "Don't Care" status on BarebackRT 👿

[Pumpinmyhole]

I've only know discreet to  mean the person was coupled, and fucking around on the down low.  

 

[beefyjockbtm]

I've always used it as a general term to mean "your secret is safe with me" what ever that might be. I don't kiss and tell, I don't snitch, if we're together around other people it's not gonna be me that gives away your sexuality or your kinks or that you're gonna be sticking your dick in my butt later. 

[hntnhole]

Mostly, that means one of two things:  he's cheating (wife or bf) or he's closeted and afraid of being outed.  There are, of course, variations on each theme, but - it almost boils down to one or the other.  Another way to say it, he's controlled by his fear -  his Lust comes second or third or fourth or or or .....

[StockingsBB]

I have known a few guys who are openly gay, sexually very promiscuous but still keen on discretion. One guy even insisted that I leave his gate open in a certain position so not to alert his neighbour that he had a guest. Inside he fucked me for hours and we made plenty of noise. Lol. 

[BootmanLA]

I think the various previous posts have largely covered it. Sometimes, it can mean closeted; sometimes, it can mean cheating; sometimes, it can mean "don't want people to know I sleep around a lot".

But there's also the simple, unvarnished meaning of the term, i.e. it's nobody's business who I'm sleeping with, and we don't talk about it. That used to be the default assumption for public figures, for instance. Spencer Tracy was unhappily married (and an alcoholic) and lived separately from his wife of many years, in a cottage on movie studio grounds. He was a loyal Catholic and would not consider divorce as an option. But for more than 20 years he lived in that cottage with Katherine Hepburn, "discreetly"; when he died there, some studio hands quickly showed up to move all of Hepburn's wardrobe and personal items before his family arrived. Everyone involved knew what was going on, but from the family to the studio to the press, they agreed it was a personal matter that had no bearing on his profession or his fame.

None of us (that I know of) are golden age movie stars, but I could understand, certainly, those who might favor a similar sort of discretion in their private lives.

[hntnhole]

Really ... I had no idea of that situation.  What a sorrow for both of them (Tracy/Hepburn) that they felt so constrained.  

Of course you're right:  it's nobody's business if we have sex, and certainly not with who, unless we choose to tell anyone.  For those that want every possible fuck to know they're available, great.  For those that don't, great.  

[LetsPOZBreed]

It's the kind of thing where:  "if you see me out in public, people can't think we know each other"

Applies to many types of guys, actually:  "str8" guys who fuck men, guys in non-open relationships, or other guy men who fear being judged by their "friends" for their sexual proclivities.  

[Guest]

For me it means Im married but take raw loads from anon guys and no she doesnt know.