My BF and the Decision

[Guest]

There's some really great points discussed by various people in this thread and the questions from @Useruseme are excellent. I'm on this path myself and I asked a lot of questions over a long period of time and I have been thinking very carefully about this as well, because this is a decision that has a permanent outcome, with a lifelong attachment to the virus. As others have said, it is your body, but just make sure this decision is one you make and not one someone else is making for you. I won't reiterate some of the points raised by others already, but hopefully the comments in this thread are helpful with your decision and I wish you the very best with making the decision you feel is right for you, whatever you decide.

[Cutedelicategay]

On 12/7/2021 at 11:58 AM, dasher said:

I was pozzed by  a man who I met anonymously one summer. He fucked me about 6 times, always raw. We never discussed status and the sex was incredibly passionate and intense. It wasn't until I got the fuck flu that I realized he pozzed me. Unfortunately he disappeared and I never saw him again, but I will never forget our sex which was made all the more intense as it resulted in me being pregnant...I often wonder how much more intense our sex would have had I known he was knocking me up...

that being said its a tough decision...i have no regrets but im lucky to have great insurance and being poz has been liberating. If you really love each other I'm sure the act of being pozzed will be unforgettable 

I disagree with being poz means liberating. Being poz means life changing and even more risk averse to stay healthy. With Prep a day which prevents a life long and sometimes life threatening disease why go on ART pill a day? People who say it's a pill before or after are ignorant of the fact that the pill before had much more benefits than the pill after. 

[Cutedelicategay]

On 12/7/2021 at 7:31 AM, Eluric98 said:

My boyfriend, which is poz, and me talked a few weeks ago about pozing me. 

It was his idea. At this moment was like "hell no", but after the last weeks i got familiar with this idea. 

We fuck both each other bareback since 2 years now. 

We go together to the medical center for our regulary tests. So I know what would come to me. 

 

He will respect my decision. If I say "no" he will stay on meds. If I say "yes" he would go off his meds after the next test. 

 

I know that this is stupid, but I think I will let him do this. 

Don't do it least you regret later. Gay relationship are as unstable as straight relationship. There is no guarantee of living and dying together with your current boyfriend. 

If this is your fantasy of jerking off and hence a post on BZ there is nothing wrong with it. Start Prep right away if you haven't done it so far. Even undetectable have changed in their viral load depending on what else is going on in the body. While U = U is true that U can become T even on ART. 

[hntnhole]

 

On 12/11/2021 at 7:05 AM, BareLover666 said:

And whatever you do I wish you'll be happy but free first

Ich verste etwas Deutsch, und weis die von Ihnen zitierte nachricht zu shatzen (no umlauts available ...)

I hope he takes your advice to heart - and realizes that he's communicating with Friends.

 

[Guest]

27 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

 

Ich verste etwas Deutsch, und weis die von Ihnen zitierte nachricht zu shatzen (no umlauts available ...)

I hope he takes your advice to heart - and realizes that he's communicating with Friends.

 

Thanks. I hope he does to.
If friends can't or won't nag you, who will?

And glad someone likes my thievery of other persons words.
As a French wiseass once remarked:
 "Le diable peut citer l'Écriture."

[Guest]

On 12/7/2021 at 6:31 AM, Eluric98 said:

My boyfriend, which is poz, and me talked a few weeks ago about pozing me. 

It was his idea. At this moment was like "hell no", but after the last weeks i got familiar with this idea. 

We fuck both each other bareback since 2 years now. 

We go together to the medical center for our regulary tests. So I know what would come to me. 

 

He will respect my decision. If I say "no" he will stay on meds. If I say "yes" he would go off his meds after the next test. 

 

I know that this is stupid, but I think I will let him do this. 

At this point, the only thing I will say is pretty much a reiteration of many of the things already said here by many others.  Just take your time and be certain that it is what you really desire, need, and want. If there is the least amount of doubt in your mind, step back, possibly get on PrEP for the time being and really think things through before committing to anything. Make very sure it's something you will be able to deal with and be able to accept, once the final decision is made. As several have indicated, many times a relationship like this doesn't or won't last as one would wish it to, so take that into consideration and don't base your decisions on the other partners desires alone. MAKE THIS YOUR DECISION, and what is best for you and you alone !!

[timfreo]

The next few months are going to be a wonderfully exciting time for both of you ❤️

[Eluric98]

Update: 

On thursday we had a long talk again. My boyfriend wanted to be sure that I really want to get it and that I dont do it for him. 

On friday we go to our test center for regular testing. 

Yesterday was the first day he didnt take his meds. Im a little nervous but definatly more excited. This journey started today in the morning, whenn he cums inside me. 

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Eluric98 said:

Update: 

On thursday we had a long talk again. My boyfriend wanted to be sure that I really want to get it and that I dont do it for him. 

On friday we go to our test center for regular testing. 

Yesterday was the first day he didnt take his meds. Im a little nervous but definatly more excited. This journey started today in the morning, whenn he cums inside me. 

I hope this is the right decision for you, bro.

Good luck, whatever happens!.  It sounds HOT as hell btw. 😉
Keep talking to people here.   This is a brotherhood.  

[cman54]

4 minutes ago, Eluric98 said:

Update: 

On thursday we had a long talk again. My boyfriend wanted to be sure that I really want to get it and that I dont do it for him. 

On friday we go to our test center for regular testing. 

Yesterday was the first day he didnt take his meds. Im a little nervous but definatly more excited. This journey started today in the morning, whenn he cums inside me. 

I`m sure you will be excited and nervous but after the first time you will be more relaxed taking it. I wish you all the best. You have my respect for sure and definitely keep us updated as you go.

[gaydude44447]

Best of luck on your chase! Enjoy the ride and keep us updated.

[99037]

I can only hope that you reconsider your choice. HIV is totally preventable. Once you have it everything changes. 1. here in the US if you need an organ transplant later on in life, it will not happen, we are disposable once we have HIV. 2. Again, here in the US of A, Life insurance is not available to you, unless VIA your employer. 3. the costs, Medication, loss of friends, loss of family contacts, in my job I had to divulge my HIV stats just to get hired! 

I had a friend that was stealthed, he got cancer and was dead in less than a year after being diagnosed, gone at only 37 years old. and yes, the HIV did impair the cancer treatment.

There is really no good to come of becoming HIV positive. If your BF really does love you, he would do everything in his power to protect you from HIV and would have never made this suggestion. Please get on PREP or have him go back on meds. The cost is too high. 

You are the only YOU that will ever be, please don't do this to yourself.

[BootmanLA]

Just remember that trolls on BZ urging you to get pozzed and glorifying it as some sort of sacrament, with all the stupid, ignorant GIFs promoting a fatal disease, will not pay the first dime towards your medical bills or lift a finger to help you when you get sick.

And when your boyfriend breaks up with you - and statistically, he almost certainly will, because virtually no "first relationships" last more than a few years, if that - your "closeness" to him through sharing HIV will be worth a bucket of warm spit. Your profile says you're in Berlin, which is one of the more advanced democracies on the planet, with a national health plan that covers PrEP for free. You have literally NO reason to pursue this except some misguided attempt to "bond" with your boyfriend du jour.

When I think of the hundreds of thousands of gay men who died of complications of HIV and AIDS, who would give ANYTHING to have not been infected in the first place, it boggles my mind that people like you even exist. Maybe if you'd watched 100 or more of your closer friends die a miserable death from this disease you're actively seeking out, you'd understand why this is just downright appalling.

[hntnhole]

On 12/15/2021 at 12:41 PM, BareLover666 said:

"Le diable peut citer l'Écriture."

LOL .... I had to use the translator for that one ... I only speak the Universal French, which requires no verbalization at all !!! Right on ...

[hntnhole]

I guess some guys just don't get it - but, sadly - they will, once it's too late.  If a guy simply flies in the face of experienced advice, and plenty of it, well .... it's his life ... his choice ... and the consequences will be his as well.