Tops on Tops

[ErosWired]

This is another question directed specifically at Tops - bottoms, my sweet boys, you can’t answer this because you don’t have a Top brain, so please don’t try.

This week, in the afterglow of the nuclear blast that is the fucking that I receive from my local Top, we were lying on the bed (he relaxing, me a quivering wad of creamed flesh) and he commented,

”The big thing among Tops is fucking another Top. Not a vers bottom, but a real Top who usually doesn’t take it. To get in there with him, and see which one of us gets the upper hand - that really gets me going, when I’ve conquered him and sink it in.”

”Because bottoms are too readily conquered?” I asked, very much conquered.

”Yeah. I love bottoms, but Tops are a challenge.”

 

Tops - what do you say to this? Is this true among Tops generally, or is it just something particular to my local Top’s interest? Kink.com devoted a whole site to men basically competing to see who gets to fuck the loser, so there has to be a market for seeing it, but I’m interested in knowing if this air of competitiveness or challenge exists among Tops.

It wouldn’t surprise me if it did - a competitive aspect pervades men’s lives in many spheres, business, sports, even who keeps the yard looking better or the car looking sharper. My grandfather and his neighbor had a legendary rivalry over home-grown tomatoes that lasted til the day they died. Talk about getting your cherry…just try laying a finger on Papaw’s prize tomato. But I digress.

Tops, I await your views.

[hntnhole]

I think you're addressing so-called "Alpha Tops", in that there are many Tops that achieve their self-awareness through domination of others in many aspects of their lives.  As you mention, in business, sports, etc would be the most common, but these men share that quality with straight men as well.  It's more of an inclination to dominate in any circumstance which translates easily to sexual domination.  The "I win, you lose" trait thrives across the entire plane of human beings.  

In the gay sexual sense, I don't think these men are in the majority.  Often, Alphas find their best cadre of potential sex partners within the Leather scene.  These men wouldn't view the "power exchange" as much more than in a "you give - I take" sense, and thus are a minority within a minority.  That said, there's room for every guy in our sexual lives, and more power to them (with the usual required honesty, etc.).  For myself, I take a Cock up my gut rarely, and then only within the context of the "sharing" facet of sex.  I can't think of even one instance when I've been in a backroom/fuckjoint/public setting and let a Cock fuck me without my Cock being in a bottom at the same time, and then only if it's relatively modest in size.  It's when I've reached that point mentally - when I'm celebrating my Lusts - conjoined with the greater, vast collection of men devoted to their Lusts. 

There is one current exception, that being a fuckbuddy that I like very much, lives a short distance away, and views his own Lust through pretty much the same prism as I do.  Sometimes he comes over, and we fuck each other (and he, like me, is not swinging a "porncock").  Sometimes he brings a trick.  Sometimes he comes over here, and I have a Hole for he and I to Breed together.  Rather occasionally we hit the fuckjoint together.  He's not an Alpha, and neither am I.  In those instances, I let him fuck me not because I love - or even like - to get fucked, but rather in the sense of sharing myself with him, and enjoying him doing the same.  More like two guys that love the same "connection", and enjoy sharing it with each other, as opposed to which guy is going to dominate the other. 

I hope you get some better answers from some *real* Alphas.   

[ErosWired]

2 hours ago, hntnhole said:

I think you're addressing so-called "Alpha Tops", in that there are many Tops that achieve their self-awareness through domination of others in many aspects of their lives. 

That’s the thing, and a big part of the reason I’m curious about this, because the Top who said this to me, while a Total Top, isn’t at all what I would call an Alpha. It’s the fact that he expressed it that made me wonder if it might be a more common sensibility among Tops in general than I would have supposed. Prior to this, I pretty much assumed that Tops simply prowled around each other like panthers, each allotting a certain amount of respectful space to the other, with a shared understanding that the herd of ass is so vast and plump for the taking that none of them need fear deprivation.

By the same token, though, the way so many bottoms are so very easy to lay (I must plead guilt here too) I can imagine a Top from time to time wishing there were more of a challenge to it - what sport is in the hunt when the prey leaps straight into your arms?

 I’m actually perfectly willing to give a Top a little game - I’m trained in martial arts - but no one’s ever asked me. I wonder how it would change the experience of being fucked if I genuinely physically struggled against it… that would go completely against my training, of course. I’m trying to imagine what I assume is a Top state of mind that exists in basically the direct opposite orientation to my own.

[FelchingPisser]

7 hours ago, ErosWired said:

......Tops, I await your views.

I always top.  I hate to get fucked.  So I would not be doing that scenario of seeing who would get "the upper hand."  

But I have a cock that makes guys want to try it out.  I have had many tops ask me to fuck them.  Sometimes a full fuck, sometimes a few strokes.  Usually this happens if we are sharing a bottom--or if  I am in a sex venue. 

I do like it.  It gives me a nice sense of some sort of pride...

[ErosWired]

23 minutes ago, FelchingPisser said:

But I have a cock that makes guys want to try it out. 

Truer words were never spoken.

[hntnhole]

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

(I must plead guilt here too)

First, the noun is not descriptive of a dedicated bottom:  a better word would be PRIDE - in my humble opinion.  

 

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

a more common sensibility among Tops in general

Tops aren't monolithic in their innate needs.  All we really have in common is the urge, the inclination, the need to fuck willing bottoms.  The shades of grey are many, from loverboy-Tops to Alpha Tops. Most of us aren't like wild animals, prowling around for prey to consume.  That would be - in my estimation - inhuman.  Sure, there are some men like that, but their panther-like behavior must be rooted in something other then their sexuality.  Men like that exist across the entire range of human sexuality.  If there's any prowling involved, it would most likely be waiting for their turn on a particularly hot BreedHole.  

 

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

what sport is in the hunt when the prey leaps straight into your arms?

Drawing a parallel between beasts of prey and men that hunt Hole is a bit of a stretch.  Sometimes we may fuck like beasts, but we're not animals, driven by mere instinct and nothing else.  We're human beings too.  Obviously, I have no idea who your local Top is, so I have no input into why he said what he did.  All I can do is offer my own perspective on your post.  

 

2 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Top state of mind that exists in basically the direct opposite orientation to my own.

Of course, to the extent that our orientation is to rut in / pump our Sperm in raw Holes.  With many shades of variation (in inclination) into the mix.  Tops  - from Alpha (to Omega?) love Hole.  Verse guys love Hole.  We need cumdumps.  We cannot do without cumdumps.  We're only one half of the whole, and fucking our fists wears off really fast.  We need men that serve our Cocks with their bodies - their Holes.  Some Alphas might like to give the impression that they're constantly on the prowl for fresh prey, but that's almost never the reality.  We have jobs, we have interests other then sex, we have responsibilities just like everybody else.  

I notice that I seem to be the only one responding to this most interesting thread, and I'm not really the Alpha you want to hear from.  Maybe I'm not equipped to keep at this ... but I do enjoy the discourse.  Hopefully some of these lions, tigers and bears will stop their hunt for more prey (momentarily, of course) and give you the reply you're looking for.  

In any case, thanks for posting such an interesting subject.

2 hours ago, FelchingPisser said:

But I have a cock that makes guys want to try it out

Reportedly, you do indeed.  I would never - ever ever ever turn my back on your Cock in a darkroom, in the unlikely event it pointed in my direction.  I have no fetish for an ambulance ride to a hospital to have my guts sewn back up !!

[ErosWired]

5 hours ago, hntnhole said:

Drawing a parallel between beasts of prey and men that hunt Hole is a bit of a stretch.  Sometimes we may fuck like beasts, but we're not animals, driven by mere instinct and nothing else.  We're human beings too. 

I had not intended that my metaphor be taken so directly - I certainly don’t look at Tops as anything but men just as other men, and all human beings. By my analogy I was just trying to convey a sense of men who observe and respect a set of traits in one another that set them apart as men who breed men, and give one another a kind of berth or territorial arm’s length in the way one sometimes observes certain types of animals (principally predators) do toward one another in nature.

There are such things as truly predatory individuals out there, but they are mercifully few - or at least those whom I have encountered have made up a distinct if notable minority. I think, nonetheless, that there is some value to observing all human behavior in terms of natural and animal analogues, lest we forget that we are, in fact, still animals in all but cognition. I tend to approach an understanding of human nature and behavior as much from an anthropological perspective as from a psychological one. I will say this, though - the most deeply predatory man who ever attempted to violate me did not do so by brute animal force or violence, but by the manipulation of the mind. Given a choice between evils, I would far rather a man overpower and physically rape my body than attempt to subvert and despoil my mind.

But here I find I arrive full circle back at my original point of ignorance - Tops fuck me, and thus I assume they have an appetite for it, but I cannot understand what drives that appetite to begin with. It’s the sense of appetite that so inclines one, I think, to draw comparisons with predators and prey; in many ways we are to each other a thing consumed. Bottoms often in fact do consume what is fed into them in a literal sense, but after I have been bred I most often have the sense that the Top has satisfied some sort of hunger, filled some emptiness by partaking of my flesh. I’m so attuned to this, so trained now to respond to it, that my every instinct is to give him as much of me as he can take, to satisfy him completely. You say Tops love hole, have to have cumdumps, can’t do without them - but still not why. I can only wonder whether I’m offering more than is wanted because I can only guess at what is truly desired.

[revemupman]

I’m 100% top so I never thought about this because when it comes to the bedroom I’m topping. So it doesn’t matter to me because I’m topping regardless 🤷🏿‍♂️

[hntnhole]

11 hours ago, ErosWired said:

There are such things as truly predatory individuals out there, but they are mercifully few

Of course, and they have a name: rapists.  And these miscreants exist across the entire spectrum - from 100% straight to 100% gay.  In the context of predatory gay men though, there is a difference in a "non-rapist" gay Alpha and an actual rapist, that being an implicit understanding between all gay men making themselves available for sex, that each of the men involved are interested in having sex. Otherwise, they wouldn't be in x location (in-the-flesh, online, whatever) cruising each other in the first place.  

 

11 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Given a choice between evils, I would far rather a man overpower and physically rape my body than attempt to subvert and despoil my mind.

I completely agree, in that physical rape is terrible enough, but the mental "rape" is even worse.  Unless.  There is an active Bd/Sm scene - agreed to prior by both parties - which removes the possibility of "rape" via the negotiation.  If that is violated, then it's a waste of perfectly good food for the rapist to bother feeding himself.

 

11 hours ago, ErosWired said:

but I cannot understand what drives that appetite to begin with.

I think it's as simple as a guy realizing he's born to have sex with other men, and prefers one position over the other.  I don't think either preference is "learned".  Some guys love both equally.  It's a wide spectrum, of course.  Even before I knew that it was possible for guys to actually have sex with each other, I remember looking at guy's asses in swimming class in Jr. High more than I looked at their cocks or balls (class was sans swimming suits, and any guy that got a hardon was teased relentlessly).  I took note, in a clinical way, of who was growing pubes and who wasn't (late-bloomer here, dammittall), but I don't recall noting much of anything about their cocks.  

 

11 hours ago, ErosWired said:

but I cannot understand what drives that appetite to begin with.

Simple.  We're born that way.  We grow up wanting to stick our cocks in other boy's holes*.  It's inborn - it's instinctive - just as the aversion to sex with the other gender is instinctive.  I'm assuming that's valid for men who love taking cock up their gut too.  They feel born to it - just another part of who they were born to be.  There are anomalies, (i.e. men who have suffered that mental rape that might overcome their inborn inclinations), but the vast majority of us knew at an early age we were - for some reason - attracted to our own gender.  Reading through some other replies on different threads, apparently some guys knew what's what as very young boys.  I was not among those so blessed.

*depending, of course, on when we reach the age of sexual awareness.

 

11 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Top has satisfied some sort of hunger, filled some emptiness by partaking of my flesh

He has.  I would say he's sated his Lust by pumping his Seed up your estimable Hole. 

I wouldn't agree about the "emptiness" though, since it implies a deeper "exchange" (or lack of it) than many Tops are interested in.  Which brings me to one possibility:  Most Tops, Alphas in particular, do enjoy one of the most ancient of instincts; the preservation of the species*.  If we extend that "species" reference, maybe there is some deeply buried reference in our brains to that ancient necessity.  Many Tops love to rut in hole after hole after hole, which inclination might be explained this way. I don't know, but it occurred to me out walking the dog.

*as we know, many of the more predatory male animals fuck many different females during the "mating season", thus ensuring the survival of their species. 

11 hours ago, ErosWired said:

You say Tops love hole, have to have cumdumps, can’t do without them - but still not why

Well, I don't know why I was born with blond hair, other than the fact that so was everyone else where I came from.  I don't know why I've always been slim, or eye color or any other characteristic.  What I do know, is that my sexual instincts are aimed towards other men's Holes.  I have never been even remotely aroused by women.  Why?  The only anwer I can give is, I was born with a different schwerpunkt.  More, as the years went by, I developed a taste for - - oh - - deeper experiences ... which is why I love, need cumdumps.  I've explained that "epiphany" elsewhere, so I won't go into it all over again.  The above quote applies only to me (since I seem to be the only one responding, save 2 brief ones).  I don't think I said that Tops love cumdumps - only that I do.  I can't speak genuinely for anyone but myself, and then only generally for other Tops.  

[Sharp-edge]

When I was younger I had stupid stereotypes about alpha men who were top only and blah blah. Truth is, some people are easier to get fucked than others because they enjoy it more, or because they are afraid or anything. So the magic in this is to make someone feel safe with you.

[b8budj]

I only top because it's what my cock wants most.

On 1/6/2022 at 11:20 PM, FelchingPisser said:

I always top.  I hate to get fucked.  So I would not be doing that scenario of seeing who would get "the upper hand."  

But I have a cock that makes guys want to try it out.  I have had many tops ask me to fuck them.  Sometimes a full fuck, sometimes a few strokes.  Usually this happens if we are sharing a bottom--or if  I am in a sex venue. 

I do like it.  It gives me a nice sense of some sort of pride...

^^This guy expressed it well. I'm not interested in bottoming if another guy is able to pin me wrestling, or whatever. But I have found that when I communicate this, it will sometimes have the effect of flipping another "top" who only wants to take the seed of 100% top man.

I generally appreciate a bottom who knows what he's doing and wants to worship my dick, get as much semen out of me as possible.

[NWUSHorny]

I'm verse, so not exactly your preferred demographic, but I love getting a guy to flip and expand their horizons.  It is probably a mild form of the dom/sub thing, but I do feel a special sense of accomplishment when I convince a guy I know is primarily a top to get fucked, or one who is primarily a bottom to fuck me.  It is much easier to flip a top than a bottom.