Cuddling and Overheating

[Philip]

I met a few guys that say they enjoy cuddling, but when we cuddle for about two minutes, they move away from me, pull off the blanket, and say that they are overheating because I’m producing too much heat.

Is our cuddling incompatible and they are trying to escape from me? For those that do overheat, what does overheating feel like? What do you do when you are prone to overheating but your partner wants to keep cuddling? 

[BootmanLA]

1. You'd have to ask your partner whether they're "trying to escape" from you or not. Last I checked mind-reading wasn't a commonly found attribute in Homo sapiens.

2. Imagine being in a room that's already 80 degrees and being put under five layers of blanket, and told to keep your entire body under the blankets for the next eight hours. That'll give you some idea.

Or get 20 hot water bottles and fill them all with the hottest water you can get from the tap. Get into bed and line them along the front of your body from chin to thigh, and pull your sheet and blanket over you.

3. This is one of those "what's more important to you?" scenarios. If you, as the cuddler, think your desire to cuddle outweighs your partner's physical comfort, then you keep cuddling until you drive him away with your clinginess. If you want to keep him as a partner, you cuddle for a bit, and accept it when he needs to pull away to avoid body heat buildup. You have other options, like putting some space between you but draping an arm over his chest, if continued physical contact is really important. 

If you can't compromise on that, maybe this isn't someone with whom you could have a successful long-term relationship, at least of the sort you seem to want.

[hntnhole]

37 minutes ago, Philip said:

I’m producing too much heat.

That you are, young man ... there's this thing called an air-conditioner ... make it colder, and drag that guy back under the covers with you !!!😇

[evilqueerpig]

If you are producing more body heat, it's your reaction to your partner and I, for one, would embrace it.

[hntnhole]

12 hours ago, Philip said:

Is our cuddling incompatible and they are trying to escape from me? For those that do overheat, what does overheating feel like? What do you do when you are prone to overheating but your partner wants to keep cuddling? 

I rather doubt it's an escape mechanism.  Some guys tend to feel cooler, some warmer, particularly if the one complaining of too much body heat is producing plenty of his own. Depending on how "comprehensive" you define cuddling (i.e. full-body, arm-around-him, a leg crossed with his, etc) maybe just a sheet covering both of you would solve the problem.  As it happens, I've always been on the slim side, and get cold easily.*  My guess it that it's not at all an emotional escape mechanism, merely a reaction to a heat-source that's a bit too hot.  Sadly, I have no experience with cuddling/sleeping with a guy that runs "too warm".  On the other hand, maybe you've exhausted the other guy by fucking the daylights out of him, and he only needs to "recover" for a while.  Cuddling is great - inhaling the guy's scent - holding his body - it's part of the post-mating ritual - so I hope you get it solved.

*even living in SoFL, if the temps get down to the mid-70's, I need jeans, t-shirt, sweatshirt to be warm enough !! Lately, we've had a cold-snap (below 70 !!), and I had to go get one of the insulated leather jackets and a pair of Wescos out of the closet 🥶   

[FelchingPisser]

My long term partner's normal temperature was 98.7 instead of 98.6.  It sounds like such a small amount and yet he could warm my thin frame up the moment he wrapped his arms around me. But I couldn't stay that way all night.  It became too hot.  A bigger bed than a standard double solved it for us.

[fskn]

Good question, @Philip.

We love the idea of cuddling but we start to overheat. We love the idea of holding hands but our intertwined fingers start to hurt and our palms start to sweat. We love the idea of falling asleep in each other's arms, but one person's arm goes numb and the other person can't get into a comfortable sleeping position, etc., etc. The joys of physical intimacy!

If you are cuddling but the guy moves away from you, stay playful and maintain physical contact in a different way. Lay your hand on some part of his body as he cools. Touch his feet with your feet. Nuzzle his neck a bit. He probably is legitimately overheated, but he'll be ready again soon enough.

One other thought: Some guys are worried about what cuddling means. If he's a casual sex partner, you may be able to reassure him that you're cuddling because it feels good, not because you want to marry him. Although some guys seem to ration cuddles, you can cuddle with a guy even if you don't know his name, even if you'll never see him again, even if he's in a relationship with someone else, even if he was ass-up, face-down in a room at the bathhouse and just took your load!

Edited January 22, 2022 by fskn
Added paragraph about implications of intimacy

[LetsPOZBreed]

Overheating during cuddling is an actual thing.  It happens to all of us.  

Some guys tend to give off more body heat than others; I personally give off a lot, so it's been fairly commonplace for my guy to separate from me after a little while to cool off.  I don't take any offence or read anything else into it.  

 

[Guest]

24 minutes ago, LetsPOZBreed said:

Overheating during cuddling is an actual thing.  It happens to all of us.  

Some guys tend to give off more body heat than others; I personally give off a lot, so it's been fairly commonplace for my guy to separate from me after a little while to cool off.  I don't take any offence or read anything else into it.  

 

I am very much the same way when I am cuddling as well.  I am the warmer one.  we cuddle, we separate, but I know come morning when its chilly I have him nestled near me and it feels good. 

[Guest]

19 hours ago, Philip said:

I met a few guys that say they enjoy cuddling, but when we cuddle for about two minutes, they move away from me, pull off the blanket, and say that they are overheating because I’m producing too much heat.

Is our cuddling incompatible and they are trying to escape from me? For those that do overheat, what does overheating feel like? What do you do when you are prone to overheating but your partner wants to keep cuddling? 

I am a furnace like you. I love to cuddle, but if I'm cuddling with someone else who is also a furnace, I do overheat very quickly (and I don't like overheating - I've always preferred the cold). It's even worse if you're in between two guys as there's nowhere to escape from the heat. 

Filling a hot water bottle up with cold water and having that to hand does help to dissipate some of the excess heat and prolong the cuddling for a bit longer, as does having a fan on. Your mileage may vary though. Or you can just hope that they're a naturally cold person and then they'll be the perfect heat sink for you 🙂

[Philip]

Thanks for the reply everyone!

It’s pretty hot here in Australia so I can see why overheating can be a problem sometimes. I’m going to grab a fan and leave it on so I can stay under the covers with him longer hehe. 
 

5 hours ago, Wolf666 said:

Or you can just hope that they're a naturally cold person and then they'll be the perfect heat sink for you

This would indeed be the best case scenario and I have meet a couple of guys where we would cuddle for hours—it’s the best! Physical touch, especially hugging and cuddling, is so important to me so if I can find someone who is similar, that would be awesome. 

[PozBearWI]

I think I've met my brothers here!!!  love to cuddle, for awhile.  Then like others the blast furnace kicks in.  But, as fskn wrote, just change the contact points.  One can cuddle and attenuate the heat too.  

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

I run hot as well. I don't hold it against the guy for not wanting to cuddle, though I had one friend say he enjoyed it on a cold winter night (and he still didn't cuddle long). I'm glad to see some walking furnace solidarity here!