Pig-in-waiting: Many guys don't get it

[mspcummer]

Ok, so my deal is that my fantasies and urges are all of wild, versatile, hot, raw pig sex. My reality is that I am still not quite at the point I can take the full plunge into the world I think i want to be in. Many guys don't understand that. They have lost their inhibitions, and seem to forget that some people still have theirs. Anyone else experience this? I sense the community and brotherhood aspect of barebackers and part of me longs for being a part of that, but the other part is still nervous and not sure about risking my health. Anyone else in this boat, or been there? Seems like not many guys talk about this stage of the game.

[cjb]

I completely understand your nervousness. If you need to talk to someone I'm here.

[Guest wl101]

Complete agree with you. Having agonised for some time about whether to top raw or not, thereby fulfilling a fantasy some years old, I can understand your apprehension. Like you, I posted up on here to seek advices and as I recall, the majority opinion was notably to fuck covered, given my circumstances. However, I did ultimately decide to go raw and very much appreciated the comments guys made, as it helped to concentrate the head on top of my body (rather than the one on the end of my dick) on the important potentially life changing decision.

Reading on here it's easy to assume almost without exception every guy knew they wanted to fuck raw and had no issues or concerns and jumped straight in. However I strongly suspect a good number, like you and I, spent some time deliberating to themselves before taking that big step.

If you wanna chat, PM me mate.

[HardaddyMA]

As a total TOP, I tested POZ when I was 44. I didn't have sex w/ anyone for almost 2 years after I was diagnosed in '96...I didn't even jerk off for about 3 months.. after shooting at least 2 loads every day since I was 13. I couldn't even think about having sex w/ another man, fearing that if I even get some of my spit on his cock or ass for fear that I would infect him, even though I knew it was only through raw sex that I could possibly expose someone to my disease. I was mortified by the fact that I would find myself on the old BUGSHARE site nite after nite reading stories of guys that were consciously having unprotected sex w/ POZ-guys, with my rock-hard pecker in my hand drippin that same disgusting POZ-cream onto the floor...

I had to take a lot of time and thinking that in the final analysis, this was a disease not much different from cancer or hepititis or thr flu and the only real shame was that I had gotten this disease from fucking a poz-guy's ass raw for months.... (I did not find out he was poz until he disappeared and 6 months later a friend told me he was in the hospital dying of AIDS)

I had to spend a lot of time with my feelings and desires and suddenly realized that there were probably dozens of guys who would look at my "problem" as something they wanted a part of and that this was in fact 'a gift' that I had received w/out my conscious permission, even though I knew the risks of unprotected sex in the 80's living in the metropolitan New York area. When I finally connected online with a neg bottom who knew that I was poz and he still wanted to have me fuck him raw.. that nite in bed it was like having man-sex for the first time all over again and I have not looked back.. but that was a long and tortured process of self-acceptance and self-respect and me finally being able to stand up and say WORLD- TAKE ME AS I AM.... if u are really excited and energized by the thought of feeling a POZ-man's cock raw in your ass.. then u have a choice, but just be honest w/ urself about ur feelings and needs.. the hungers and the desires of our flesh usually runs way ahead of our minds which have been so anti-sex programmed in general.. just keep it honest dude and you will figure it out!