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Posted

That is, without a pre-sex douche. This is the way it generally used to be when guys met guys on the fly in parks, the toilet, and other impromptu places. Why aren't there any tops into raw + unwashed? Even when I go to great lengths to cleanse the back 40, if the top is at all athletic in his pounding, some mud comes out, and then it's EEK! (like he's just seen a mouse) and all systems stop, often without resumption.

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Posted (edited)

This is a tough one.

On one hand, I always reassure bottoms I fuck that sex is not meant to be aseptic. If I expected aseptic sex, I'd just use my hand.

On the other hand, strong smells sometimes turn me off, and that's unconscious or a matter of instinct, not something I can override. More importantly, a small cleanup is easy, but a big cleanup takes time. Since sex often seems to happen at night, a big cleanup is tiring and means I won't get to sleep on time.

Small cleanup: Change top sheet and pillow cases (I have 4 sets of sheets in case I need to change sheets between my weekly laundry day), and soak a small towel and a cloth in bleach solution before tossing them in a bag in the laundry basket.

Big cleanup: Change mattress protector,  top sheet and pillow cases, spot-treat stains on multiple items with bleach solution, soak multiple towels, etc.

Messy sex in public would also be problematic. I would have to clean my dick and my clothes as best I could with wipes, and then head home in an unclean condition, possibly being noticed by other people on the street or in the train.

In my experience there has usually been a happy medium.

Bottoms who are closeted, who don't get fucked often at home by their BFs or husbands, or who are younger and less experienced, seem to have more trouble with cleaning out before sex.

When things do go wrong and we're at home, I much appreciate a bottom who knows the point at which he needs to stop, use the toilet, and take a shower. Our fun can continue after that, without embarrassment and without worry.

Edited by fskn
Posted

By the way, thanks for posting this question, @Rickindc. It's awkward but relevant and, as you say, spontaneous anal sex without douching (and of course without any thought of condom use) is a part of our collective history.

Posted

Agreed that this is a tough one.  

I've been at a group party once where I was on my knees taking turns sucking off a couple guys in a corner.  There were men elsewhere in the room, and at some point you could get the very distinct waft that someone hadn't cleaned out.  I don't think I ever saw a hotel room full of naked men clear out so fast in my life.  It's the kind of thing where this was clearly just a lack of preparation on the part of one guy...and it killed the whole moment for everyone.

On the other hand, when I was much younger and inexperienced, I didn't really have a douching regimen (I know, I'm totally bad).  Even on the off chance I did, it was relatively minor.  

Douching is obviously a pain...I don't want to go through the whole process if I'm unsure if I'll actually get fucked that night.  Even when I do, I've had some very disappointing tops that made me think the whole thing was a waste.  But honestly, I'll go through with it if I have even the inclination that something might happen that evening because I'm not really a fan of the alternative.  Maybe that's just a personal preference on my part...

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Posted

Some of the issue might fall back on the "Old Guard Leather" rules- bottoms are supposed to always be hosed out and ready. Anything less was a failure.I think I had little problem being spotless as a teen and thru the twenties, but as I got older and my gut changed, always being spotlessly clean became more and more of an issue. For me at least, I still have to be sure my hole will be clean throughout play before I can relax and get into it.  And yeah, if there is stink, it kills my libido .

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Posted

I always try to "prep" for an encounter if I know one is coming. I mean it's just my way of saying "I care" and trying to be thoroughly clean for someone about to give me something amazing. But yeah, there are times when you're NOT ready and things just happen. I've only had one guy freak out over it before. I was walking along the Maumee River in a park and caught the glimpse of a guy looking around cautiously inside of a shelter. He didn't see me, but I saw him. Then things got quiet, other than the traffic from the nearby road, and no sign of him for about 5 minutes. I finally got up closer to the area and heard him masturbating as quiet as he could be. I startled him by showing up, but I startled him even more by dropping to my knees and sucking his dick. As I was doing this he told me he'd been waiting for a guy from Craigslist for an hour and the guy ghosted him so it was a good thing I came along. Well when he decided to bend me over, then I got quite a surprise. He was good. He was making my ass feel nice and wanted. He had a condom on to start but then when he pulled out to take it off and discard it, he saw "something" he didn't want to see. That ruined the whole moment.

I mean I was there to walk and enjoy the scenery. I wasn't expecting to find a man tossing off and in need of sexual release! I had no idea I was going to get a dick in my ass at that very moment. It was outside, it wasn't very secluded but secluded enough that unless you heard something or just happened upon that exact spot that you'd see two men having sex. But he freaked over like the smallest amount too ... and it was still on the condom not on his cock.

Posted

Yep, this is definitely an issue with a number of potential "answers".  Thanks, Rickindc.  There are simply no uniform answers, either.  Some men like it au naturel, most don't.  I suppose it's just a by-product (!) of needing a duel-use Hole.  What I find most important though, is that the bottom made the effort.  If there's a little something that managed to evade the cleansing, the guy who tried can't be blamed.  All that's needed is a gentle remark that there may be a little visit to the john in order, and every time that's happened (I mean here in my home), the bottom is embarrassed, rushes off to the john, apologies, on and on.  I just act blase - reassuring - and when things are taken care of, back to it. Sometimes, shit happens (just couldn't resist that one).

In the darkrooms, I always do a "sniff-test" before doing anything else, and even that isn't always successful.  It does, however, make clear which bottom gives a shit - literally - and which ones don't.  I've told Holes lined up on the fuckbench at Slammer to hit the head and come back when they're ready - one careless guy can stink up the whole room, clearing it out qick.  I get that there are sudden opportunities, and we should take them gratefully.  That said, I think a bit of communication would be the best way to handle it.  If the Top is concerned about the issue, he can ask if the bottom is "prepared, and likewise the bottom can ask for a raincheck.  No harm in that at all.  

To the "Old Guard" reference by Always Open, thanks for the distinction.  That institution has faded away substantially for the last number of years, but at one time it was a very real and not un-rare thing.  The submissive (not "bottom") would be thoroughly instructed well before the "Leather Scene" was to take place, and in all aspects of what would and what would not take place.  That's called the "negotiation", and every act would be discussed, limits agreed upon well in advance. There was no such thing as an unplanned, unnegotiated scene.  Always Open is correct to point out that the cleansing ritual was both assumed and addressed by all parties during the negotiation.  

I would only suggest that a bottom out cruising unprepared, casually mention that he wasn't expecting such a pleasant potential, and let the Top know that ..... well ..... let's trade phone numbers if it'll be a problem.  

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Posted

I am old enough to say that cleaning out was not in vogue in Michigan in the late 1970's.  I am sure there are men who did...but I didn't meet them.  (My gay brother credits interviews in Mandate, etc with the guys doing porn in the early 1980's for leading the way to get clean out to be much more universal.)  At my first bathhouse in 1977, the lack of clean out was so evident that I stopped fucking.  For years.  My long term partner was oral only....and we kept it mostly to ourselves for 15 years.  When we finally opened the  relationship in 1991 so I could fuck again, I was king of condoms, thinking it would also keep the mess off my dick.  Of course, by then cleaning out was so expected I rarely had an issue. 

I do mention my size to men I have never fucked if they are coming to the house.  I go past pretty much everyone's 'second hole'.  Like others, I just need to know the guy made the effort.  If there is an issue we will deal with it. (Another great reason to have a playroom so it's not my bed.)  It is a smell issue, for me, too--if I can't put my face back down there to rim, mid-fuck.  Maybe that's why I play with so many fistee's--who always go the extra mile.  Felching their holes is amazing....

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Posted

Over the years I discovered my unluckiness when it comes to group play and preparations.  Many times it always seems like for me when I was ultra-prepped no food today, light meals the day douched within an inch of my colon..  Oral only for me. 

 

Then when I expect the same and do none of that hands and heads galore at my hole. So I do the mid-clean. No Lunch.  No Dinner (also helps when you get your throat pounded) and a standard clean. If you're double digits we might have a problem or you jackrabbit fuck.... But if someone wants to slide up the backdoor and is just a little larger than average it's good. 

Posted

i've been at this awhile, in the >1000 cock club, and i have never had an 'accident."  Granted, i'm paranoid and go to great lengths to clean out. i don't cruise unprepared. 

my challenge has been fb's or guys that contact me out of the blue and wanna fuck. i always tell them i'm not prepared, some are willing to wait. That's always the scary ones, because i feel like i don't take the usual amount of time to know i am deep clean. 

i do sometimes wish for the ability to be spontaneous. i would love to be available 24/7, at a moments notice. i've found a few who say they don't care, and even like it, but never actually been in that position. 

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Posted

I was trained to be a full service toilet as well as cum dump. I was not permitted to waste anything my master produced: liquid or solid.  However that did not apply to me...my hole was always expected to be absolutely clean. I don't mind smells at all, but am mindful most tops do. ( Though lately several have requested I not clean out). As I age ( later 50s now,) it's easier as my colon is used to frequent enemas.  I usually, after rinsing clean, use a long thin dildo, just in case. 

Posted
11 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

i've been at this awhile, in the >1000 cock club, and i have never had an 'accident."  Granted, i'm paranoid and go to great lengths to clean out. i don't cruise unprepared. 

Well, I don't think some Tops take the time to appreciate what bottoms like you go through, just so you're available to confidently take Cocks.  Maybe that's why you're "slender", in that the food you eat gets "excused" before your body can fully digest it !!!  That said, I'd much rather Breed with a slender guy than an overeater.  On a slim guy, there's just more solid stuff lto grab onto and ride !!!

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Posted
9 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

Well, I don't think some Tops take the time to appreciate what bottoms like you go through, just so you're available to confidently take Cocks.  Maybe that's why you're "slender", in that the food you eat gets "excused" before your body can fully digest it !!!  That said, I'd much rather Breed with a slender guy than an overeater.  On a slim guy, there's just more solid stuff lto grab onto and ride !!!

Really appreciate this.  A lot of tops do not seem to understand how involved and time consuming the clean out process can be. It makes sense to me though, especially a Total Top who never gets fucked, they just don't relate not having to clean out themselves. 

my hole has definitely morphed  and been molded by use to be more of a receptive organ than a retentive organ. i think it's interesting how all sex organs are designed for waste elimination as well as receiving another. A woman has her menses every 21 days, sort of like a 7 day BM. Some straight guys will still fuck a woman even during her period, some even like it. There's guys who like to fuck guys that way too.  i confess, the ability to be spontaneous is appealing to me and i think i could deal with it if i knew my Top was totally into what He was doing, but if i feel any hesitation or turn off from Him, it shuts me down too, so it's really about connection of mutual need/desire for me. 

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Posted

If men fucking men were a culturally accepted practice, and there were classes in school on how to do it properly, there would be a LOT more Tops conscious of what bottoms have to do.  In these classes, the Tops would have to experience the same thing for - oh - say a week.  THAT would help every guy appreciate what every other guy needs to do, and rather quickly.  

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Posted

 

1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

If men fucking men were a culturally accepted practice, and there were classes in school on how to do it properly, there would be a LOT more Tops conscious of what bottoms have to do.  In these classes, the Tops would have to experience the same thing for - oh - say a week.  THAT would help every guy appreciate what every other guy needs to do, and rather quickly.  

Hahaha, if only! If that was part of the curriculum, I would be an A+ student in that class!

Honestly though, douching is not that tedious once you kinda get used to how your bumhole operates. A douching nozzle that connects to the shower that I got off amazon has literally been the best investment of my life. Also, by sustaining a mostly clean diet without coffee and healthy regular bowel movements, the terminal anal cavity is fairly clean and you can make do with maybe a 6 incher or less (nothing too aggressive) with virtually no mess. Really though, the urban design of the human body makes no sense to me - why is the entertainment district placed in the same area as the landfill? So inconvenient.

Still, the fact that there are some drama queens out there that act like it's the end of the world in the case of a shitty accident just seems beyond alarmist. Even though the smell canbe a bit stinky, poop is mostly just water and degraded organic matter, nothing crazy. To anyone who has had to change a baby's diapers regularly, this kind of thing is just basically a trivial chore that you just need to deal with and get done, honestly not a big deal. Besides, it seems obvious to me that every single guy who has eventually came to realize that the noble art of buttfucking will comprise a core part of his future life, must realize that at some point or another, shit can and will happen. So it shouldn't exactly be a surprise when it does.

Regarding douching or going natural. I think it's context dependent. For your standard planned hookup, there's time to prepare and no one likes to leave a smelly first impression so a clean bum is a standard expectation. In a long term relationship it's different (at least for me), after a while, things become complacent and less high-maintenance. The spontaneity of things like waking up in the morning together with a nice, unplanned fuck to start the day is worth it. Douching is still done for practical reasons periodically when able to but not nearly as rigidly expected for a casual enounter. There are other scenarios where douching isn't an expectation because of practicality such as if you're going camping ( the real type not the suburbanized version). Of if you've ever had a straight friend that spontaneously wanted to try anal one night, you can bet for sure that he's never even heard the word 'douching' before. Would the threat of poo stop you in that situation? Cuz I know for sure when given the very exciting prospect of popping my straight bud's ass cherry, I didn't hesitate at all even knowing that a mess would certainly happen. Of course, a little mess did happen but I had spread up a towel on the bed and it didn't detract at all from what was an incredibly fun and memorable experience.

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