Remote Work - Best place for a horny gay guy to live?

[fskn]

@ellentonboy, @TheSRQDude, @ejaculaTe, my mom grew up in Philadelphia so I visited the city every summer as a kid. I'm so glad I got to see Wanamaker's more or less as it was. The train around the toy department was still there, but no longer working, and in the later years, the upper floors of the store had already been converted to offices. I loved the eagle.

Aside: Wanamaker's in Philadelphia makes me think of Horne's Department Store in Pittsburgh, which was my favorite when I lived in that city.

My grandmother took us to the Reading Terminal Market in Philadelphia, both before and after it was fixed up. (That might explain my later fascination with Grand Central Market in Los Angeles.)

Some of you allude to Philadelphia's city wage tax. I remember Pittsburgh's city wage tax, and apparently, something similar applies in New York. I'd say it's a necessary consequence of the flight to the suburbs, whereby commuters, not just those of us who are (or in my case, were) city residents, depend on city-funded services.

Here in the San Francisco Bay Area, in California, we have a few regional revenue transfer mechanisms with a similar effect, though they require no filing effort on the part of individuals. The City and County of San Francisco used to impose an employer-paid payroll tax on large employers, and now imposes a gross receipts tax on large businesses, instead. It makes so much more sense to collect a tax once, from each employer, rather than many times, from each individual employee. Bridge tolls are also used here to fund services in the urban core, like public transit. Interestingly, our bridge tolls are less than half what people pay in New York City, we have excellent ferry and bus alternatives for most of our bridge corridors, and we have an adequate train alternative for the largest bridge corridor, yet folks still complain about the bridge tolls.

Edited April 16, 2022 by fskn

[hntnhole]

re: Wanamakers ... I wonder if that enormous Barton is still there?  As a kid, I was in a touring boy-choir, and we stopped there once to sing a non-sectarian gig.  That organ was partially unavailable (I think it had some 400 ranks? - just gargantuan), and some was being serviced, but it was still overpowering.  As I recall, there was a 64 foot bourdon that was so huge, you didn't really "hear" it, you only "felt" it's lower notes inside your chest. 

[Guest]

On 2/23/2022 at 7:01 PM, hntnhole said:

Well, BreedingandSeeding ... a lot of excellent advise from a number of perspectives. 

I know Ft. Lauderdale is well-known for it's wanton sex, and the real estate prices here have leveled off, but are still high.  There are, however, smaller burbs in the area, and maybe a 20 minute drive from "Ground Zero" of the gay life here*.  Just south of the airport is Dania Beach, Hollywood, a few others, and while I don't know all that much about them, it might be worth your while to take a sniff.  East So. Florida is a megalopolis now, like your area, in that there is no open land.  You cross a street and you're in another town.  

Broward County is the largest and most "blue" in FL.  Yes, we get these storms called hurricanes occasionally, but the come, do their damage, and go.  Winter comes every year, last for 4 months at least.  But other than that, if you like warm weather and hot sex, it's something you might want to consider.  

One other consideration:  With the Russians on the march, the markets have crashed, the Fed is raising rates as quickly as they can (I expect a couple more this year), inflation, and at some point the real estate market will crater.  Most folks around here are up to their eyeballs in debt**, and that won't be sustainable for much longer.  I don't know how much time you have to choose where to relocate to, but if you do have a little time, take it.  When the shit hits the fan, things will change quickly, and that will be the time to pounce.

Congrats on the new job, and wherever you go, best wishes !!!

*I don't know how much importance you put on the availability of a lot of raw sex, but it you actually wanted it every night, you could get it easily.

**it's very different here - everything is about showing off - big house, lots of expensive phony furnishings,  fast expensive cars - all kinds of Un-Northern characteristics.  If you're culturally inclined, don't move here; there's almost nothing worth the name in that sphere.  

I wish I knew if the house prices were ever going to decrease. That is the only thing holding me back right now.

[NWUSHorny]

Timely thread for me, I've been working almost entirely remote since the pandemic started and recently started a new job that allows me to live anywhere I want as long as it is near a major airport on the assumption that people that do what I do will eventually start traveling to client sites again someday. I'm in the Portland, OR area now, which is fairly expensive, is dark, overcast, cool and rainy for 10 months of the year, does not have an active casual sex scene, and has horrendous traffic with limited public transit options to avoid it.

I have a fairly specific set of wants, active casual sex scene is a big want. Here are some of my others based on places I've lived in the past:

Reasonable cost of living (I don't want to spend much more than I am now, and if it is lower that is even better)

Four season climate (I actually missed fall, winter and spring when I lived in the south east)

Free flowing traffic or an adequate public transit system to avoid the gridlock (I may be weird but I prefer to live in the suburbs and go into town for most of my encounters although areas that have decent activity in suburban parks are good to)

Outdoor recreational activities, I love hiking and biking

Here are some of the areas I'm considering along with what I consider to be their pros and cons:

Denver

Pros: I loved pretty much everything about living there; Great casual sex scene even out in the burbs,; Easy to drive almost anywhere and park when you get there; My idea of perfect climate; Mountains to hike

Cons: Even more expensive than Portland; Both bathhouses have recently closed leaving only Buddies on Colorado Springs which unless I moved fairly far south would not be ideal for spur of the moment weekday evenings

Chicago

Pros: Cheaper than Portland; Great casual sex scene; Good public transit system to avoid traffic gridlock and parking issue if I don't try to go too far out; Close to family (not sure if this is a pro or con);4 distinct seasons

Cons: Somewhat difficult to drive and park if heading into downtown; Harsh winters, hot summers; No mountains

St Louis

Pros:  Much cheaper than Portland; Decent casual sex scene; Easy to drive and park for the most part; Close to family;4 distinct seasons

Cons: Less major airport; Hot summers; Do the Ozarks really qualify as mountains

Milwaukee

Pros: Much cheaper than Portland; Decent casual sex scene (but no big bathhouse, is the one in Kenosha still open?); Easy to drive and park for the most part; Close to family; 4 distinct seasons

Cons: Less major airport (but easy access to Chicago O'Hare); Harsh winter and hot summers; No mountains

Minneapolis

Pros: Cheaper than Portland; Decent casual sex scene (but no bathhouses) ;Easy to drive and park for the most part, starting to get a decent public transit system; 4 distinct seasons

Cons: Harsh winter; No mountains;

 

Some other places that I'm considering that I don't have much experience with Palm Springs: great casual sex, but expensive and not my ideal climate; Indianapolis: similar to St Louis, and Milwaukee and I know nothing about the casual sex scene.

Anywhere else a versatile soon to be 53 year old with a high sex drive and loves group scenes should be considering?

 

 

[AlwaysOpen]

I read HtnHole's posts about Ft Lauderdale, and having lived here for 20 years, and vacationed here 3 or 4 times a year for 10 years before that, let me just add. When I was a vacationer here in the 90's, there were gay guesthouses all over the beach front- at least 20 Pa and Pop run places. MOST of those are gone now, bought up by European developers who have created a series of cafes and guest houses catering to hetero EU tourists. There is a small patch of the beach now where the gay folk tend to gather, tho parking is expensive and often hard to find. Wilton Manors, the gay city within Ft Lauderdale,  was barely there in the 90's, real estate was cheap and the boys moved in and sadly, it is pricey and expensive to live there. Just north is Oakland Park ( 2 to 3 miles) (4 or 5 miles to downtown Ft Lauderdale) which might be the area the outpriced gay men are settling in. But OP is a bedroom setting,tho newer development has been happening and apartments are being created. The thing here is, as HtnHole mentioned- the Oakland Park area is just 2 or 3 miles at the most from the main Drive in Wilton Manors, where the bulk of the bars and shops are, and the men. OP and WM butt up against each other for a good part, so you could be even closer. But as far as reliable public transit, forget it. Everything is pretty much done by car. For me to get the 2.8 miles in the morning, after rush hour BTW-from my house in OP to a coffee shop in WM, I plan at least 10 but more often 15 minutes to drive there. Traffic in S Fl sucks- there is just a 7 mile wide strip of land between the ocean and the edge of the Everglades, and all the land has been built on so road expansion is pretty much moot. A trip to Miami, 23 miles away, is at the least 50 minutes and during rush hour or if a wreck, 2+ hours.

Yeah, the Ft Lauderdale area has a lot of gay men. 2 bath houses ( 1 is fancy and more like a day spa, 1 is decidedly old and rough around the edges, much like many of its customers. The sex club used to be open 7 days a week, now, post pandemic constraints, it is closed a couple nights a week. We get tourists flying in hourly still. And like most gay places, the fresh meat is chased and bedded in a catch and release frenzy- only to be ignored by the previous days vanquisher the rest of the weeks stay, but still chased and grabbed by other hunters all thru the week. This sense of sexual lure and availability leads a lot of people- myself included, to relocate here. Fantasy Island ends once you settled here. Days on the beach and nights in the bars and then the beds ( or slings) of that newest person to show interest might work when you don't have to be up for work, or the doctor, or to have the car repaired--you get the idea.  Once you have lived here a few months, and the initial surge of attention and interest has popped, you will settle into your work a lot more than you probably thought. Going to the beach will become rarer and rarer. Florida has no state income tax.. but of course the state has to raise money, so expect to pay a decent amount in sales tax on most everything. 

As has been said, we experience hurricanes. But since the start of the pandemic, we have not had any real storms, so all the folk who left  the big cities like NYC, Boston, Philly, etc to work remotely from someplace they loved to vacation at have not had the "joy" of prepping for a storm, riding it out, and then living the next week to three weeks without cable, or power, or internet. Or had to try to find some reliable contractor to repair anything damaged. I suspect one storm this season hitting our area, and a lot of folk who have had an employer urging them to return to the office will be dumping their places here and going back to the big cities up north. 

Others have mentioned Palm Springs. Beautiful town. And pretty much dead quiet from Monday morning thru Friday afternoon, at which time the men from LA,  San Diego and San Francisco head in for the weekend. The city is packed from Friday night thru Sunday late afternoon, at which point the 10 to LA becomes bumper to bumper with people headed back home. Summertime heat has been coming earlier and earlier than it used to- friends say they had triple digit temps already this year- the 1st week of April and hitting 100+ F. Come July, 118 during the day and 98 at night is the norm. Static shock every time you slide in and out of the car is the norm. 

See, the thing is, everything has a really appealing, beautiful side to it. Especially if you do not have to live in it 24/7. I have also pondered where a "good" place to relocate to is, and still I have stayed put here in the FT Lauderdale area. In spite of the weather,the costs, the traffic,the catch and release men. Sometimes, knowing the underbelly of where you are is better than admiring the shiny side of places you think you would like. 

[fskn]

18 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

St Louis

[...]

Cons: Less major airport

R.I.P. TWA. Those were the days!

14 hours ago, AlwaysOpen said:

Sometimes, knowing the underbelly of where you are is better than admiring the shiny side of places you think you would like. 

I agree with this perspective, and I also appreciate the candid information you are giving, about Florida and about Palm Springs.

[hntnhole]

Thanks so much, AlwaysOpen.  You're entirely correct in pointing to Oakland Park as a most viable place for gay men to live. I know there are many, since my best buddy lives there.  

As to the hurricane issue, the first one I actually lived through here in FL was Irma, which went up the center of the FL peninsula, and didn't hit Ft.L. directly.  That, however, was plenty scary enough.  I'd experienced tornados back in Illinois, but the widespread impact of Irma was a shocker.  While it's true that we haven't suffered a direct impact for a number of years, one day we will.  Storm season is upon us right now, and everyone with a head on their shoulders is preparing now.  I certainly am.  

Another issue you mention is finding "reliable" contractors.  Or "honest" ones.  Or "able" ones.  The ratio of con-artists to actual service-providers here is exponentially higher for conmen than back North.  In other words, there is no panacea, there is only the sure bet that we'll have the pleasure of giving our snowblowers, shovels, bags of salt to our friends and neighbors when we leave.  Winters will no longer be 4 months long, with cold, dark, inhospitable weather.  

[BannedWord]

On 4/16/2022 at 3:01 PM, hntnhole said:

re: Wanamakers ... I wonder if that enormous Barton is still there?  

The last time I was there, which was about 5-6 years ago (as Macys) it was.  But then my memories were more slanted to recall when I was there in the early 80's and when it had all 12 floors and 2 sub-floors (even though 10-12 were administrative office, banquet halls, World Affairs Council and the employee cafeteria, the basement was unadorned).  Taking everything above the 5th floor was disheartening. I think the basement levels are now a parking garage. Sad how it all changed.

I read this weekend of another spate of shootings that rivaled Chicago, thinking that isn't an honor I'd want to win. 

Back to the thread topic...and perhaps I'm of an age where looking from afar and realizing that I can commute has a certain advantage rather than a cramped apartment, overpriced rents and escalating crime. Cities like Philly made progress becoming safer destinations in the 90's only to slide back since 2000 or so, and Philly gets the prize for being a stop on Amtrak between NYC and DC that's mostly forgotten.  If you want to consider Philly, Collingswood in near New Jersey is now the real gay friendly companion community to the Philly Gayborhood. It's safer if not as lively and it's a 15 minute train ride to 13th and Spruce. I love Philly, but it wouldn't be where I'd want to locate in the current climate.

[Guest]

On 4/16/2022 at 8:42 PM, AlwaysOpen said:

I read HtnHole's posts about Ft Lauderdale, and having lived here for 20 years, and vacationed here 3 or 4 times a year for 10 years before that, let me just add.

Another great post from AlwaysOpen. 

You should start a pod cast. Always have the most insightful information about places men want to retire too, or visit.

When I visit FTL I am taking you out for a drink or two and picking your brain....

Thank you man!