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Sex Addiction - What is it like for you?


120DaysofSodom

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So, addiction hits us all differently. I am presuming that most of us on here are sex addicts. Ive been one for most of my adult life. What is it like for you?

For me I go on these incredibly long binges where I will get fucked by like 10 or 15 guys in a single day (not even as a gangbang but just sitting there inviting guys over all day and night to fuck me or suck them off). I go to bathhouses really frequently and host sex parties but I feel like that isnt the same as just having these extended, prolonged periods of just racking up load after load after load from completely different persons multiple times throughout the day. These binges for me last like 2 or 3 months, and then I end up going into a state for a month where that addictive urge is suppressed, and satisfied, and I just dont have sex at all really, content with fisting myself, or using toys, and jacking off (with an occasional hookup here and there), and that month always feels like water in a pot waiting to boil, building up to that inevitable binge state again of just taking literally hundreds of cocks for 2 or 3 months at a time.

So is this how anybody elses addiction works for them? Or what is it like for you?

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I go through “mating” periods where I will be hypersexual, usually during the spring and summer, and then be “dormant” for a period starting in the fall and becoming most prominent during the winter.  
 

it probably ties into my seasonal mental health but I assume there’s some biology at play. There’s a period where I’m online constantly looking for any male to come breed me. I usually stick to one on ones for weeks at a time. At a certain point it snaps and I’ll start frequenting the bathhouse or group parties where I’m just looking for constant satisfaction of being fucked and mated with. 
 

around the fall I slow down and go back to one on ones and then by winter time the seasonals hit and I’m usually just fucking myself most days. 

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  • 1 month later...

It’s so interesting to hear you talk about this because I’ve been wondering about this a lot lately. My story is, I’m in a sexless gay marriage with a DONT ask don’t tell open relationship policy. I often work away from home and travel for long periods of time with my job. When I’m out on the road it’s just night after night of ass up, door cracked, lubed and ready sexual encounters. I fucking love sex.  There no question in my mind that it’s an addiction but I don’t really see what it’s hurting or how it’s negatively effecting my life. I also go through periods, much like yourself, of Hyler sexuality and then I will have a month where I will just takes baths and read books and I barely crave it. It’s a fascinating topic.  And one that mostly effects bottoms because I don’t ever want to get off until the end of a long cum dump session where I can jack off alone and go to  bed after.  I would imagine with a top the goal is to cum.  I love having sex with strangers more than just about anything. It’s sounds sad to admit that out loud but I have a dream job and a stable home life (minus the sex). I would love to hear other peoples experiences. 

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I don't really go in cycles, I'm just always horny. The only thing that slows me down is lack of partners, around here guys seem to go into no fuck mode in the summer, they continue to go places and cruise each other but don't actually have sex. So I will get so frustrated that I stop looking until fall. Ironically that is when I personally at my horniest.

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I think about sex as much as the next guy I'm guessing. But I don't think I'm addicted. My normal daily life gets lived, my sex drive is acted upon, pretty much like most anyone else's. I'll admit that when the time comes for sex I'm a lust-driven slut looking for a wild time, but behind closed doors (or in a dark parking lot 😏 ) arent we all?

So in the end, I say I have a fairly normal balanced sex life, and wouldnt consider myself addicted.

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Strictly speaking, Sex Addiction, or Hypersexual Disorder, is not a recognized diagnosis by the professional psychological/psychiatric field, and is not included in their diagnostic manual. It is a subject of debate as to the causes of excessive or compulsive sexual behavior that results in distress, but most authorities consider that it does not have many features in common with actual addiction.

There are some mental conditions that may predispose a person to hypersexual behavior - the manic phase of Bipolar Depression comes to mind - but these are not addiction.

 I think some caution needs to be applied in the use if ‘addiction’ in this context, because it implies an inability to control behavior when in many cases the person may simply be looking for an excuse to explain or justify a hedonistic lifestyle.

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Sex addiction is a vague and controversial term. The concept extends from the Xian moralist ideas that one partner should be sexually fulfilling for you, forever, owing in great part because the religion has treated sex and Love as synonyms when they, in fact, are not. The view is that males go from partner to partner because we are not satisfied and in our addiction to sexual pleasure we can't be satisfied. This is a false. Scientific research has shown that monogamy is NOT natural for most mammals and even paired mammals in the animal kingdom have sex with others. I have the highly promiscuous sex I do because it is so incredible I want to enjoy it again and again. We are fulfilled and because we find sex so fulfilling, we seek out more. It's in our male DNA. Can sex become an addiction? Yes it can. But like all addictions, that point arrives when the sexual activities interfere with your regular life functions (job, home upkeep, non-sexual socializing).  Most of the time, though, when you hear the term used, it is through the moralist lens. And the Christian idea of sex addiction is as false as most of it's sexual dogma. 

So in my hypersexual still fully functional life, I am happier and healthier than most Bible-waving Christians out there because I am in tough with myself as a sexual animal and have rejected the religion's sexual guilt and shame about my penis and libido. I just finished 5 days at CLAW leather and kink fetish event in Cleveland OH. I have had piles of guys I have played with using my own fat penis, taking theirs in my mouth and ass and being fisted in multiple sessions everyday.  Yeah, I'm great!

Edited by MuscledHorse
spelling and time clarification.
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7 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Strictly speaking, Sex Addiction, or Hypersexual Disorder, is not a recognized diagnosis by the professional psychological/psychiatric field, and is not included in their diagnostic manual.

 

2 hours ago, MuscledHorse said:

I am happier and healthier than most Bible-waving Christians out there because I am in tough with myself as a sexual animal and have rejected the religion's sexual guilt and shame about my penis and libido

I agree with both of these replies.  

I don't think of my sexual needs as an addiction, I think of them as an important part of my life, but only a part.  I think of addiction as something that controls us, and I simply refuse to be controlled by any "thing".  I control myself, and take care to satisfy all the facets of my life.  I think that if we surrender our lives to X - whatever that is - we can lose control of our lives, and I don't want that for myself.  Sure - by midweek I'm half-hard most of the time, and very much ready to feed my sexual Lusts again.  But Breeding Holes is not an addiction; it's merely a choice.  I choose to use my Cock on every Hole I run across at specific times; i.e. weekends.  I never miss an appointment because I couldn't help myself having sex instead.  

To the Bible waving hatemongers, I suggest those folks learn to love themselves, instead of hating others.  I pour nothing but scorn upon those poor folks who discard their humanity in favor of some silly, pie-in-the-sky contrivance.  These are pitiful creatures, who have been fooled into believing in hatred of "the other", rather than the Message of the one they say they follow.  Merely humanoids to be pitied from afar.  It reminds me (as a Northerner for most of my life) of a nest of baby robins.  The mother flies away, eats worms, partially digests them, then flies back to the nest to find half a dozen tiny heads, mouths wide open, squawking for the mother to puke some of the worm crud down their throats.  When one of the baby robins doesn't holler loud enough, it gets skipped, and eventually dies.  Congregants in a church remind me of that every single time I encountered the sad sight.  

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I wish I had a sex addiction. Would probably improve my odds of success in porn. It would give me impetus to post more pictures, make better films, go out and have more fun. Even in my youth, I had very little sex drive. It just wasn't a thing for me, not because I didn't enjoy it or because of fear, but I didn't see it as a motivator for anything. Later in life when I came out and was free to go after what I wanted, I fed the hunger only when it appeared. If I forced it, I didn't really have a great time. Sometimes not worth the hunt and all the work. I wondered if there was something wrong with me. Why were my peers horndogs and I wasn't?

When I had my boyfriends, I could relax about it. I had someone to encourage me and help me get across that divide. And when both of those relationships ended, my cock and hole went into slumber mode, only to be aroused again when opportunity appeared (which wasn't often). Lust never really took over. I still feel like there's something wrong. Is it a chemical imbalance? Do I not care? Is it feelings of inadequacy? I don't know. I can get hard, and I can be amorous. I just don't feel a NEED to do it. Like a woman, I can go for years without sex. And as I move toward middle age, I sense that if I don't use it, I will lose it. Completely. And as a budding porn star, this terrifies me. It's tantamount to professional suicide. 

Anyone got an idea how to fix this? Do I need a sex therapist? Or should I be grateful that I don't have to fuck every guy in sight?

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When people say addiction some people are jumping to conclusions that guilt is involved. No guilt here.  I just know what addiction feels like and I definitely go through periods where it feels like an addiction. Just today (my day off) I ran all over town and posted ads on ALL the sites And tried to get as many loads as possible. Just one load after another. When I’m in this hyper focused state I’m not hungry at all. I don’t eat all day. When I finally jack off and get a release at the end of the night, usually with several loads dripping out of my ass, IM STARVING. It kinda hits me all at once. Like whoa, out of body experience. And it kinda doesn’t matter what the guys looks like as long as they load up my holes. 

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