She suspects I’m gay, but still wants me?!

[BlackDude]

Rant/Story Coming:

So I have this a good friend I work with who recently told me she has the super hots for me and even have dreams about me. I Love my friend but I am honest with myself. I was the type of guy she would not have given the time of day to back in her prime. She was totally into bad boys, enough to the point that one man actually was very abusive towards her. She has basically had an army of guys in her orbit that she would not date or full around with because she seen them as “boring.”

 

Mind you, this is a woman with A moderately wealthy family who works for shopping money.
 

Now that she is a little bit older, and with a kid, she wants to come on to me? As a matter of fact she even asked about my sexuality, (too which I responded I don’t think people who work together shit sleep together especially when one is an a subordinate position). If you thought I was gay, why the urge to sleep with me?
 
I don’t know if there’s related to age or Covid but it seems like now I’m getting more attention than ever from women. Like any other guy I’ve had my share of admirers, but she is a women who in the past would not give a suspected gay, in a lower tax bracket guy a second look outside of friendship.  It is too late for a guy like me (I think). 

Why do women get so desperate?

Edited May 13, 2022 by BlackDude
Title change

[bluedragon]

So are you bi or gay?

She might well be looking for security now that she has a kid, or else a father figure for him/her.

Or you've misread her and she was into you all along. Who knows? Let her down gently/start distancing yourself now.

[BlackDude]

18 minutes ago, bluedragon said:

So are you bi or gay?

She might well be looking for security now that she has a kid, or else a father figure for him/her.

Or you've misread her and she was into you all along. Who knows? Let her down gently/start distancing yourself now.

If I’m honest , I’m not bi. I’d fuck a woman as long as she knows I like men. I’m never getting married tho, especially in this legal climate. She doesn’t need money. I Suspect a father figure.

I think you’re right. We will remain friends, just not as close.

 

[bluedragon]

Yeah, I only fucked a woman once. It was quite nice but nowhere near as good as with a man. Still, I might be interested in trying it again but only with a girl who knew i was mostly into men, just so her expectations aren't set for the best fuck of her life 😉

Some women - though usually not more confident ones like your friend - seem to like using gay men as comfort blankets: a source of male attention, but not threatening like many women find straight men to be, because the sexual interest isn't there.

Edited May 13, 2022 by bluedragon

[Leather69]

I wouldn't.. if she is your manager etc you run a large risk of being minus a job.. not to mention what stories she would spread about U. 

[BlackDude]

1 hour ago, Leather69 said:

I wouldn't.. if she is your manager etc you run a large risk of being minus a job.. not to mention what stories she would spread about U. 

I’m actually above her indirectly. 

[Leather69]

Good luck then.. I still wouldn't.

[hntnhole]

16 hours ago, BlackDude said:

Why do women get so desperate?

1.  They see themselves as powerless against men, and often they're correct, but not always.  This drives them to 2. desperation.  I'd say, put it in reverse, back away, and (sounds like you're co-workers?) toss off a small, vague smile in the hallway as you pass by, eyes steadily forward, and keep moving.  She'll get the message.  Let her find some other guy (probably straight) to push around, support her and her kid.

[austin_submale]

I love playing with ladies in a cuck type scenario and MMF 3somes.  I love having a lady watch me suck and get fucked and I like cleaning up a cream pie.  I love having a lady tease and humiliate me...  But of course those things are not for everyone and there are few ladies who like such things.  And also relatively few bi top guys who are into it too... I've had a few awesome experiences over the years, but nothing that compares to what I'd like to do...  I keep trying to set it up but women are flaky.

 

[BannedWord]

There is a great sub-Reddit called Where are all the Good Men (r/whereareallthegoodmen) that delves into the topic at hand quite often. I'd suggest heading over and giving it a read even if only for the comedic value of the postings, which largely consist of Online Dating Profiles from women, as commentary-by-example. It's hard to summarize this in a a simple answer, but I'll give a couple of reasons around it:

• The men that a woman in her 20's bypassed hat she saw as "Beta males" (whether or not they were) for the "Alpha Bad Boy" are starting to look like solid providers now that she's passed her sell-by date. 
• Women made their mistakes in the earlier years, rode the cock-carousel with those bad boys and now they're no longer interested in her. She's usually left with a couple of kids and very few prospects.
• Women are flaky and have shit for brains, or just spread their legs too easily. They want a do-over but that ship long-since sailed. 
• Men can look pretty damn good into their later years where women...well, after pushing out a few kids, aren't looking so nifty.
• They're on the prowl for a wallet to support them/their kids/their lifestyle, etc.

You mentioned that she's not looking for financial support, but I think you're right to not want to get on that ride, especially if you're happy with your life right now. The Reddit community tends to use MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) as the acronym to summarize it. 

Whatever the reasons, if they wouldn't give you the time of day when you might have shown interest, you have no obligation to suddenly take an interest when it's convenient to them. Were it me, I'd run -- not walk -- away from that.

[gwmxyz]

Just a very random guess/ outside possibility - has she worked out that you definitely are gay?

It can be a big attraction.  I'm told being ordained into the Catholic Church suddenly makes guys v popular with women.  In both cases (if one sees them as two) it's got something to do with wanting the unobtainable and the fact that it's unthreatening - things won't go that far. There was a monk who actually just died recently but in his lifetime managed to be a very unlikely womaniser. Women would assume he was gay and so try to "tempt" him, he wasn't and said thank you very much.

Like the others, I'd stay well clear.  Just pointing out it might be not be desperate as much as what she's into - your appeal may be greater (consciously or not) for being gay..  My wife, for example,  is genuinely surprised when she hears the news that yet another one of her ex boyfriends has come out as gay. I would be genuinely amazed if any of them turned out to be straight.