Strange conversation

[hntnhole]

On 9/21/2022 at 11:54 PM, AlwaysOpen said:

or bad teeth

or ......... phonies he doesn't want to come loose in another guy's mouth !!!

[NWUSHorny]

Just curious, but how often do you kiss with a random hookup? I'm guessing I do less than half the time since I don't initiate it, I also don't reject him if he does come in for a smooch.

[KylerIsTrash]

Kissing is dangerous because it can lead to attachment. I avoid kissing with hookups. If a guy is persistent I’ll give in and make out to keep him fucking and push him over the edge to bust a load. 

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, KylerIsTrash said:

Kissing is dangerous because it can lead to attachment.

This ^.  It’s not just a question of the immediate intimacy involved in kissing - that isn’t really dangerous in and of itself. What’s dangerous is the potential for it to lead to attachment, and there is something about kissing that is even more potentially bond-forming than fucking. Research into kissing suggests that kissing actually developed in primates (kissing isn’t unique to humans) in order to fulfill certain essential needs, including attachment. Theories include the proximity of nose to face allowing better sense of pheromones, the increased production of endorphins, and the potential that mutual inner-mouth exploration may build strong trust. Peripherally as to this last, some Dominants will purposely probe the inside of a submissive’s mouth with their fingers not only as an act of domination and control, but also as a means of strengthening a sense of trust in the relationship.

I avoid any possibility of attachment from the men I serve like plague. I am equipped to meet their sexual need, not their emotional or social need. Entertaining any such form of attachment when you are not prepared for the possibility of commitment is exactly dangerous.

It bears pointing out that the Buddhists tell us that the one thing to avoid above all else is attachment.

[FunCheerSlut]

On 9/21/2022 at 10:56 AM, Bottom Jim said:

I had a young guy (29) over yesterday. I sucked his dick. Then he fucked me raw and came in my ass.  
He then said he did not know why men would ever kiss. He said it was far to dangerous 

I pointed out to him he just had his bare dick in my ass and shot his cum inside .

he replied that was not near as dangerous as kissing Well to each his own. 

I fear that the "education" system in your state is producing a generation of poorly informed individuals. Although I could be wrong, but I do fear for the state of education generally and some states are aiming for new lows. This seems like the "canary in the mineshaft" although I hope it was an isolated incident.

[blackrobe]

I think everyone has different things that they think of as emotionally intimate. 

For me, kissing is a very basic sexual act that's tough to do without. It does have levels of intimacy, but it's the connection with the man that adds that, it's not intrinsically in the act of kissing itself. Some find being bred deeply intimate, for others its mindful touching, for others it's just being held. 

I think a much more likely culprit for the OP's experience with this man is internalized homophobia.

It's not at all uncommon for same-sex attracted men to create arbitrary lines in their minds that keep them "straight" so long as they don't cross them. Many gay men's coming out stories have shown this dynamic. However he identifies, that this man used the word "dangerous" to describe kissing makes me think he's decided kissing is on the super-gay side of the line, which makes kissing a threat to his straightness. That way, provided he doesn't kiss a man, he can protect and maintain his "straight" identity. It's a form of bargaining that we do with ourselves as a way of rationalizing our behavior. For example, "No matter what I do with men, provided I don't kiss them or have feelings for them, I'm not gay. I'm just getting off with a mate."

The human ability to rationalize our behavior to maintain our equalibrium cannot be underestimated.

[hntnhole]

23 hours ago, ErosWired said:

in order to fulfill certain essential needs, including attachment. Theories include the proximity of nose to face allowing better sense of pheromones, the increased production of endorphins, and the potential that mutual inner-mouth exploration may build strong trust.

Very interesting, and thanks for the reply. 

I'm wondering how the impulse to kiss is generated:  In the conscious mind?  In the anticipation of sexual release about to occur?  In the chemicals that we emanate, as you describe?  And, how would the inclination not to kiss be a reflection of the above, or would it be merely a reaction to the would-be kisser?  

To me, kissing is a statement of intimacy, made when some level of caring is achieved.  That would preclude kissing in a backroom or a fuckjoint*, and I don't particularly like kissing a cumdump that I've never met, and probably won't again (excluding the starred below).  Kissing can be thiiiiiis close to making love with one's partner (meaning, lover, bf, life-partner, etc), but without that prerequisite level of caring or loving the guy, it means nothing - at least to me.  If I ever "fell in love" with a cumdump, of course I'd kiss him deeply, whether he'd just sucked off a Cock or not, but only with a pre-existing caring for him.  

*excluding the presence of Sperm already in the mouth, making the kiss an extension of the sex, not a statement of affection (or more).  

[hntnhole]

On 9/23/2022 at 5:41 PM, KylerIsTrash said:

Kissing is dangerous because it can lead to attachment

Also interesting, and thanks for the reply.  What I'm trying to understand is how merely kissing a guy can lead to something so substantial as an "attachment".  I would define that (attachment) as a caring, perhaps loving, perhaps on the way to loving, but at least some interest in exploring an attachment between two guys (or people, for that matter).  Unless I'm mistaking the intent of using that word, the mere act of kissing a trick or some guy in a fuckjoint could no more lead to an "attachment" than clipping toenails together.  Far more likely would be a really hot fuck leaving both guys panting for breath.  

Edited September 24, 2022 by hntnhole

[Bimarried001]

Guess I’m on the outside looking in. I’m not much into kissing men (though I do at times). I do kiss shemales and women🤷🏾‍♂️. Not sure why. I suck cock, I take it up the ass, I eat ass. No explanation. 

[KylerIsTrash]

@hntnhole It’s more than the attachment. When a top is wanting to kiss they are bonding with me on some deeper level like we’re equals. I intend to be a hole the top is using to meet his need. Not a companion. 

[ashcub]

Maybe it was a polite way of telling you you’ve got bad breath 😂

[StockingsBB]

On 9/21/2022 at 9:28 PM, BadBob said:

That's a bit strange.  I have met a few guys, who I'm convinced were straight, who just wanted to unload in my hole and fuck off.  All of my gay friends love kissing. I do see a few guys on dating sites who say they don't like kissing on their profile or when I contact them say they don't.  I always avoid them.

Kissing is so hot. 

[ErosWired]

On 9/25/2022 at 12:16 AM, KylerIsTrash said:

@hntnhole It’s more than the attachment. When a top is wanting to kiss they are bonding with me on some deeper level like we’re equals. I intend to be a hole the top is using to meet his need. Not a companion. 

I don’t have the same experience as often. More often when a Top is very aggressive about kissing me, it’s usually an expression of his Dominance. Tongues invade very deeply and forcefully, lips press very hard, my breath gets drawn out of me, and the kiss is persistent. These aren’t sweet, tender, romantic kisses. Now, to be fair, Even if he were trying to do some bonding thing, I’m not wired for that and wouldn’t be responding in any way he might hope for in that regard, but for those Tops who enjoy showing their control by invading my mouth, I submit to it and it seems to work for them.

[versamarried]

My speculation is that since he is a top he incorrectly feels he has less of risk of receiving STI from penetration where as kissing there is direct fluid swapping.
When I started m2m play I was in my head pretty much against kissing, so never initiated and no one ever had for about the first year. Then one time, cannot remember if I was a bottom or top, a guy just leaned in and went for it and I accepted it. Found that I enjoyed it, did not feel wrong, weird, just sexy. Never got any feels from it, but it was thrilling to add to repertoire of things I was willing to do. To this day kissing is random act, sometimes I try to initiate, sometimes the tops do. I will never reject it beyond hygiene reasons. But if the top does then I do not press for it.

[Guest]

I love kissing!!! But you definetly need a different type of attraction to someone your willing to kiss. For me its bearded guys. Sweep me off my feet and kiss me!