OK, Explain: Bottom Profiles With Cock Pics

[tallslenderguy]

4 minutes ago, thejadoman said:

For me, you're reading too much into it. Dudes are hot. Dicks are hot. Butts are hot. If I'm looking to breed someone, and want to see what they look like, I want to see it all.

 

I should also add, that if we're sharing pictures, and when I ask for a dick pic, you're against sending one for some reason, it comes off as a bit shady to me.

i appreciate your response. i really get that i tend to want a more complex connection, not only with you, but with other men as well. 

 i think your comment underlines my belief that all of our comments are examples of us all being individual and on a sexual spectrum.  Sometimes we are close enough on that line to connect, intersect, other times we are not.  If you were to read my profiles,  not just on a dating site, but even on a hook up site they'd be longer and more detailed that the average profile.  i present more of myself because i hope for more from a Man just His physical cock.  

Do i have the slutty whore side to me that just want's to get fucked by any man who wants to? Why yes, yes i do lol. But when i want that, i tend to go someplace where i can get it, and to me internet hook up sites do not meet that need. They used to for me. i think both me and online hook up have evolved though. Online has become an environ where many have discovered they can be assholes (not the good kind) and flakes, and those guys seem to really affect a quick hook up. So, i reserve online for the "i want a deeper connection" part of me. In that context, for me, a "dick pic" sends the wrong message because i am not just canvasing for a quick fuck where i will take whatever i can get. 

i do think my point is valid... for some on the spectrum. i also think the comments that evoked my further thought and consideration as valid as well. They may not represent how i am or feel, but they definitely represent part of the playing field where we all look to connect in one way our another.

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

On 1/21/2023 at 11:53 AM, ErosWired said:

If you post a cock pic, you don’t just get Vers guys who are also looking to suck, you’re also broadcasting to bottoms (by far the majority of those looking - that you’re a potential Topping candidate.

Exactly. In the end I've learned to stay away from those profiles where they say they are a bottom but post a cock pick. I respect what they say, if they say they are looking to bottom then I move on. I do wish some other bottoms would do the same when I post that I am a bottom and am looking for a top. I get a lot of responses replies with cock pics, then when you go to seal the deal they say how we can take turns fucking each other. Instant turn-off.

[NWUSHorny]

While I will readily admit I am both reading too much into this, and applying my own biases, I think bottoms not showing their cocks in the hookup apps diminishes the amount of casual sex available for everyone, including the bottoms trying to get fucked. Other than a few guys that are in deep denial about being gay or bi, most of the potential tops know that they are intentionally hooking up with a man, and prefer to see you as a man with a cock. There are numerous threads here on BZ by bottoms, about how to make their cock smaller, how to keep from getting hard, how to prevent tops from touching your cock, and etc. I see not providing a picture of your male sexual equipment on the hookup apps as an extension of this.

I can't prove it but I see this as a cause for the lack of gay sex in some cities and regions. Here is my theory: once you have enough guys taking their own cocks completely out of the hookup sex equation, you start seeing the less sexual driven bottoms and tops giving up. Once that happens in an area, guys start finding alternative ways to have "sex", you start seeing profiles that exclusively list non-fucking activities that 2 bottoms can do with each other without involving cock. You see guys start up groups to hold cuddle parties that specificly state no contact below the waist allowed, and the local sex clubs start hosting events that cater to these non-fucking tastes like massage night, dildo playdate night, and fetish nights that devolve into nothing more than modeling your fetish gear or acting out a kink no fucking. Once those things become normalized, guys that are actually trying to top and actually bottom give up on using the apps, bottoms stop presenting their asses at cruising spots, sex clubs and bathhouses. Ultimately the 30-35% of us that are truly in the versatile to top range stop looking for asses to fuck on the apps and at in person cruising spots and venues out of pure frustration.

[tallslenderguy]

2 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

While I will readily admit I am both reading too much into this, and applying my own biases, I think bottoms not showing their cocks in the hookup apps diminishes the amount of casual sex available for everyone, including the bottoms trying to get fucked. Other than a few guys that are in deep denial about being gay or bi, most of the potential tops know that they are intentionally hooking up with a man, and prefer to see you as a man with a cock. There are numerous threads here on BZ by bottoms, about how to make their cock smaller, how to keep from getting hard, how to prevent tops from touching your cock, and etc. I see not providing a picture of your male sexual equipment on the hookup apps as an extension of this.

I can't prove it but I see this as a cause for the lack of gay sex in some cities and regions. Here is my theory: once you have enough guys taking their own cocks completely out of the hookup sex equation, you start seeing the less sexual driven bottoms and tops giving up. Once that happens in an area, guys start finding alternative ways to have "sex", you start seeing profiles that exclusively list non-fucking activities that 2 bottoms can do with each other without involving cock. You see guys start up groups to hold cuddle parties that specificly state no contact below the waist allowed, and the local sex clubs start hosting events that cater to these non-fucking tastes like massage night, dildo playdate night, and fetish nights that devolve into nothing more than modeling your fetish gear or acting out a kink no fucking. Once those things become normalized, guys that are actually trying to top and actually bottom give up on using the apps, bottoms stop presenting their asses at cruising spots, sex clubs and bathhouses. Ultimately the 30-35% of us that are truly in the versatile to top range stop looking for asses to fuck on the apps and at in person cruising spots and venues out of pure frustration.

i 'hear' frustration in many of your posts, frustration with Portland (Pdx) and frustration with men who identify as bottom or total bottom.  That may be me inferring tone where there is none, so please set me straight... well, no, don't do that, how bout just clarify where i am mis-reading you if i am.  

my impression from reading your posts over time is that those of us who identify as total bottoms (and bottoms?) are simply making a choice, that all men are wired versatile, can and should choose that for the sake of the gay Community. Again, this may be totally or partly just me inferring, but i usually feel general disdain for total bottoms/total bottoms when i read your posts.  i don't get the impression it's a purposeful effort on your part, just born out of what strikes me as your belief that bottoms are just making a selfish choice vs just trying to live authentically as they are?  

Am i right that you think all gay guys are really versatile and the position they choose is just choice? i am honestly not trying to put words in your mouth here, i'm just stating my perception, which i know could be way off.

That said, i think your theory has a sort of  sense to it, but i also think it's an over reach maybe colored by your own bias? i think of how long GH sex has been around. i've done GH sex a lot prior to the pandemic, and it's pretty clear cut. Offer cock or ass, the other person either wants it or not, not a lot of, if any, discussion. Not a lot of visual either, unless one puts their cock through the hole.

Your posts do make me think and consider though. i have a FB who i adore, He's the Latino i usually write about in the "...your last load..." thread.  He's always Topped me, He's never asked me to fuck Him. Lately He's wanted to suck on me though, even though He knows i'm not really wanting that. i let Him, and even give Him positive feed back when He's sucking me. Feels good enough to my body that i get hard, but i cannot imagine summing that way, it's just very mechanical for me. To me, mechanical sex is not sex, it lacks connection that is really important to me. If that was all i had with Him, i wouldn't hook  with Him. So i have a mental work around where i'm okay with Him sucking me as long as He doesn't want to make me cum that way.  The last couple of times He hasn't asked to suck me, and He told me once that He's "not a cum swallower."  i'd find it hot if He just wanted to suck me to get me horny for Him and HIs cock, not to make me cum.

So, i'm not opposed to being touched or sucked, it is more to do with why the guy is doing it. That's where one of your and another post got me thinking about this. i actually like being edged if the intent is just to make me horny, especially if the guy i'm with is making that clear.  So i can get how a bottom, even a total bottom, can display a pic of his penis, even though for me (and apparently a lot of other bottoms) it's counter intuitive.

sorry, this went long

[NWUSHorny]

@tallslenderguy I wouldn't exactly label my feelings about total bottoms as disdain, but will admit there is some frustration there, and do believe that some men are total bottoms by choice, while others truly can't perform as a top for a variety of reasons. I am always amazed when there is a poll here on BZ that asks for an answer that can be used to determine if someone is a total bottom the poll always comes out with more than half of the respondents claiming to be total bottoms, which doesn't really fit a bell curve since I've yet to see one of those polls come out with even 10% identifying as total tops. That is possible, but I still have my doubts.

As to the topic of this post and many other posts I've either started or commented on, I do think there are a lot of total bottoms that are repelled by the idea of participating in any kind of sex with their cocks, but do not see the inverse of that from tops. In fact I see the opposite, almost every top on this forum, much like your FB, expresses an interest in their bottoms cocks, in most cases like to suck cock. My primary use for this forum has been to try to figure out how to get more guys to actively engage in casual fucking and encourage casual fucking across the board. I know my biases are entering into it here, but I frequently engage entirely as a top when I'm at a sex venue, even though I would prefer to be bottoming half of the time, mostly because keeping the sex going increases my chances of getting to bottom. Maybe it is unreasonable, but my expectation is that, like you are doing for your FB, bottoms could at least allow their top partners to play with and suck their cocks to facilitate sex happening. Having a cock pic available on the hookup apps seems to me to be a really small price to pay to facilitate more fucking, and several bottom posters have confirmed that they get asked for cock pics and have put them on their hookup profiles or leave their cocks on offer when they are hooking up at an in person avenue for exactly that reason. If we are all lucky, maybe all of us will wind up getting more fucks to satisfy our wants.

I'm also interested to see some more responses to the poll that the OP created as a sideline to this thread, he only has 4 responses from total tops, but so far even among total tops, 75% are interested in their bottoms cocks. I'm guessing if you ran a similar poll for just versatile tops, you would find 99.99 of versatile tops are interested in their bottoms cocks, as well as getting 3 times as many responses.

Edited January 24, 2023 by NWUSHorny

[blackrobe]

6 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

While I will readily admit I am both reading too much into this, and applying my own biases, I think bottoms not showing their cocks in the hookup apps diminishes the amount of casual sex available for everyone, including the bottoms trying to get fucked.

It's a bummer when other people's free-will and self-image gets in the way of one getting the quality and quantity of sex one desires. C'est la vie.

I'm fairly certain that blaming people for not doing things your way is *not* going to lead to the outcomes you're hoping for. 

[NWUSHorny]

18 minutes ago, blackrobe said:

It's a bummer when other people's free-will and self-image gets in the way of one getting the quality and quantity of sex one desires. C'est la vie.

I'm fairly certain that blaming people for not doing things your way is *not* going to lead to the outcomes you're hoping for. 

Yet, your earlier posts on this thread have validated the point I've been trying to make:

On 1/21/2023 at 12:46 PM, blackrobe said:

I tried not having a cock pic at all.

It didn't go well.

Guys were always asking for a dick pic even though I was clear on my profiles that I'm a total bottom. It seems lots of tops have a thing about the bottom's dick (small, big, cum volume, locked, etc.) which made it matter to them somehow. Versatile guys too. I tried sending pics of my locked cock to reinforce that I'm a bottom, but it doesn't appeal to most tops and narrowed the breeder pool too much. On squirt, the only way I got much attention was with a dick pic for my main profile pic (I tried a timed experiment, the dick pic drove more messages and chats than anything else). I swapped it out for an ass pic eventually, taking the hit in traffic to get fewer more qualified breeder leads.

In the end I had to put dick pics as secondary images on my profiles to avoid having to send them to prospective breeders who request them. The downside is low-comprehension high-intoxication bottoms sending "Breed me!" messages.

I think it's tough to get by without a dick pic at all.

On 1/22/2023 at 9:54 AM, blackrobe said:

My regulars enjoy that they can fuck ropes of precum out of my dick and have it end up soaking us both depending on the position. A couple of them check to see how much I'm leaking as they fuck me, and then feed my precum to me as I leak.

Even this one goes to the gist of what I'm trying to say:

On 1/22/2023 at 8:08 AM, blackrobe said:

I'm a total bottom that loves a man with a big strong ass fucking me. I instinctively feel like his strong ass is the flexing, driving engine of his fuck and means of him possessing my ass and impregnating me deeply with his seed. Grabbing hold of his ass as he pounds into mine and feeling his power and need to breed is hot as fuck for me. I love seeing a breeders strong ass and feeling it in my hands, but it sure doesn't make me a top. Why should the flip of that be true then?

[tallslenderguy]

17 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

@tallslenderguy I wouldn't exactly label my feelings about total bottoms as disdain, but will admit there is some frustration there, and do believe that some men are total bottoms by choice, while others truly can't perform as a top for a variety of reasons. I am always amazed when there is a poll here on BZ that asks for an answer that can be used to determine if someone is a total bottom the poll always comes out with more than half of the respondents claiming to be total bottoms, which doesn't really fit a bell curve since I've yet to see one of those polls come out with even 10% identifying as total tops. That is possible, but I still have my doubts.

As to the topic of this post and many other posts I've either started or commented on, I do think there are a lot of total bottoms that are repelled by the idea of participating in any kind of sex with their cocks, but do not see the inverse of that from tops. In fact I see the opposite, almost every top on this forum, much like your FB, expresses an interest in their bottoms cocks, in most cases like to suck cock. My primary use for this forum has been to try to figure out how to get more guys to actively engage in casual fucking and encourage casual fucking across the board. I know my biases are entering into it here, but I frequently engage entirely as a top when I'm at a sex venue, even though I would prefer to be bottoming half of the time, mostly because keeping the sex going increases my chances of getting to bottom. Maybe it is unreasonable, but my expectation is that, like you are doing for your FB, bottoms could at least allow their top partners to play with and suck their cocks to facilitate sex happening. Having a cock pic available on the hookup apps seems to me to be a really small price to pay to facilitate more fucking, and several bottom posters have confirmed that they get asked for cock pics and have put them on their hookup profiles or leave their cocks on offer when they are hooking up at an in person avenue for exactly that reason. If we are all lucky, maybe all of us will wind up getting more fucks to satisfy our wants.

I'm also interested to see some more responses to the poll that the OP created as a sideline to this thread, he only has 4 responses from total tops, but so far even among total tops, 75% are interested in their bottoms cocks. I'm guessing if you ran a similar poll for just versatile tops, you would find 99.99 of versatile tops are interested in their bottoms cocks, as well as getting 3 times as many responses.

I do encounter Tops who clearly state they have no interest in cock, touching or otherwise. i'm currently talking to 3 of them.  Of course, i make it  clear i'm total bottom and delineate what that means.  'Perhaps you don't encounter those particular Tops  because you present as versatile and don't attract them.  Maybe you don't get approached to get fucked as often because you post a dick pic and state you are versatile.  And i'm guessing you have thought of this, you are good about qualifying bias and not being able to prove the postulation you make. Even ErowWired's pole is not really scientific, and the sampling, so far, is pretty small. 

i have been curious enough that i posted a penis pic on one of my more active profiles today. Didn't change any of my profile verbiage though, i still present as total bottom and do not want to attract men interested in cock. As far as i'm concerned, i still don't have a "cock,' though i'm not delusional, i know i have a penis.  i was married 31 years (to a woman) because of religious conditioning. Trying to be in the top role all those years solidified in me that i'm at the far end of the bottom spectrum, i doubt all the discussion in the world is going to  make me versatile or get me back into the mind set that i must offer, use or present my penis to/for anyone lol, so you haven't sold me on that one. 

i'm not looking for "casual sex," i'm looking to get fucked by a Top who wants to fuck me as much as i want to get fucked. i have turned down more than one versatile because i was not convinced THEY would be satisfied just fucking me. And i always ask/question any versatile guy who approaches me, point blank, if they are sure they would be satisfied just fucking a total bottom. i would truly rather go without than have casual or mechanical sex with a guy who i knew was just nominally into it, or worse, disappointed that ti don't flip. 

 

[blackrobe]

7 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

Yet, your earlier posts on this thread have validated the point I've been trying to make:

Even this one goes to the gist of what I'm trying to say:

Then you clearly missed the point I was making in this last response.

We all have free-will, and everyone makes their own determinations on what concessions they can live with to get what they want or need. After that, we either just accept any accommodations we can live with as the cost of doing business and get on with life, or spin our wheels complaining about why things aren't the way we'd prefer them to be.

I don't see trying to fit other people with black hats for expressing their own free-will and making their own accommodations as being very useful.

After all, they are just making the same kinds of trade-offs I am.

[NWUSHorny]

2 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

Of course, i make it  clear i'm total bottom and delineate what that means.  'Perhaps you don't encounter those particular Tops  because you present as versatile and don't attract them.  Maybe you don't get approached to get fucked as often because you post a dick pic and state you are versatile.  And i'm guessing you have thought of this, you are good about qualifying bias and not being able to prove the postulation you make. Even ErowWired's pole is not really scientific, and the sampling, so far, is pretty small.

I can't disagree with any of that. I have had a few fuckbuds that identified as total top, but all of them let me top them at least occasionally, but as you said we aren't trying to attract the same tops.

While it is not a scientific poll, I would still enjoy seeing some more responses to ErosWired's poll. I would actually love to see some good polls on the percentages of tops, bottoms and versatile for men who have sex with men, I kind of hope total bottoms at over 50% are over represented here on BZ, but kind of suspect they aren't. I have seen some fairly solid polls in academic research, that indicate only 30-35% of men who have sex with men engage in anal sex, which I suspect is fairly accurate.

Edited January 24, 2023 by NWUSHorny

[T-Girl-Cumdumpster]

as a total bottom and a cumdumpster I would never even think of posting pics of my impressive cock, specially not as a profile pic. men that use me usually have no interest in my dick and usually dont even touch it. men use me for my body, my throat and my pussy so thats what I post pics of. I often use either a. picture from behind, a picture getting fucked or covered in cum or a poster of me down mon my knees where femboys belong, sucking cock, because I AM a cocksucker.

[BootmanLA]

On 1/23/2023 at 7:52 PM, NWUSHorny said:

I am always amazed when there is a poll here on BZ that asks for an answer that can be used to determine if someone is a total bottom the poll always comes out with more than half of the respondents claiming to be total bottoms, which doesn't really fit a bell curve since I've yet to see one of those polls come out with even 10% identifying as total tops. That is possible, but I still have my doubts.

For a variety of reasons, I don't think bell curves apply to sexuality very readily,

If they did, for instance, we would see very few "gold star" gay people, very few totally straight people, and a big hump in the middle of bisexuals. But that's not how it works, is it?

I think one reason bottoms outnumber tops by a large margin is that most of us, at least, have experienced what it's like to get pleasure from the prostate - which most of us learn from getting fucked. Yes, some guys never try that, and thus remain 100% tops. Some guys try it a few times and have a bad experience and decide they are (or will be) 100% tops. Some guys have a deeper core of internalized homophobia and rationalize that if they are going to have sex with men, they're going to top only, because that means they aren't like "those" gays. There are any number of reasons why some guys are all-top; but the thing is, most gay men DO try it, and with any decent sort of experience, most are going to like it (to varying degrees).

And as you note, there are also several reasons why a man might be all-bottom. Some have performance issues and just can't stay hard to penetrate. Some have smaller (or very much smaller) cocks and they've been rejected for topping so many times they give up trying. Some just aren't physically satisfied with sex unless they have a lot of prostate stimulation via fucking and they've decided it's just not worth the effort to top for an unfulfilling experience.

It's all those quirks and reasons that mean a bell curve isn't going to apply. It's not a universal distribution, after all; we only expect bell curve distributions when a variable characteristic is widely distributed through a population at random. 

[ErosWired]

23 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

, I kind of hope total bottoms at over 50% are over represented here on BZ, but kind of suspect they aren't.

I suspect they are, at least in terms of what I think ‘total bottom’ means, and ought to mean using ‘total as the qualifier - that is, a bottom who simply does not provide Top service in any way. I’ve read any number of posts on here by men who declare themselves total bottoms because they only occasionally penetrate someone else. But that’s not total, it’s a very little bit vers. So I suspect the number of never-Toppers is actually much smaller.

No, the poll isn’t scientific and doesn’t pretend to be, and until it gets more responses it’s not going to really tell us anything.