Rejection at sex clubs

[TaKinGDeePanal]

3 hours ago, bi4funstayforload said:

I never understood the superficial obsession in the gay/BI community with looks during "hookups". 

Especially at saunas. It's just sex, period. With women I get it, they're superficial by design, but men looking for action. I don't understand. 

ego has a fair amount to do with it - would you prefer being nailed by the hot guy or the not-so-hot guy if their body shapes attitude manners and cock size were exactly the same?

[TaKinGDeePanal]

@Normaldude - provided you have no back issues, you can get into shape with crunches and manual labour. It'll reduce your stomach and give your upper body some tone. In turn, it'll give you a little more confidence than it seems you have.

When I used to play at my top's place, wearing a t-shirt usually meant that the sex would be delayed (his was a naked only household). Maybe it's sending a message to others that you're "just looking", even though you are doing more than "just looking".

[KindaBasic]

Sorry about your experience. Hopefully you find the community you need. 

[NicNorth]

9 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

I've never let it bother me. I learned long ago that generally speaking, that guy's who are picky about appearance tend to be less adventurous than i am when they fuck, I tend to try to hookup with guys who are actually fucking in a club instead of who is best looking.

I agree - take the view that if they aren’t interested they aren’t worth my attention either.  Does help to choose the right places and go for guys who are really into fucking.  

[Njn0mc]

22 hours ago, norefusal said:

here's my advice:

- yes, go to the gym because it is healthier, makes you sleep better feel better and you'll be less likely to fall over and break a hip at 80 the more you exercise now 

- in my experience, the gym was a great place to find casual sex. when i was your age, i probably had more sex in the gym locker room than i did at home in my bed 

- stfu. seriously, you are your own worst enemy. i find that being considered "hot" is a fake it till you make it situation and the single most thing that scares horny guys off is a perceived lack of confidence. if you think your body isn't up to code, so will they. horny guys are like animals, they can smell the fear and perceived weakness. be an arrogant prick, even if it's a character you play like an actor in a movie 

- accept reality. you are a new guy in a foreign land. anti american prejudice is real in europe so accept that only the more open minded guys are gonna give you a chance. try to fit in, but accept that acceptance is not going to happen overnight. have patience and keep working at it till it pays off. you're not 5 yo anymore, instant friends on the playground is a thing of the past. 

- accept reality. this isn't the local bath house. it's the world's biggest sex mart you're on broadway now baby, not in the local theatre so make sure you project so they can hear you in the back row. 

- at the end of the day rejection is more about them than it is about you. accept that's it's their loss and dwell on the victories rather than the losses. living well is the best revenge and nothing feels better than accepting yourself for who you are. 

Great answer!!

[Bottom Jim]

I have found that clubs with a huge number of twinks is that all they want to do is prance around. Don’t take it personal. They really don’t want to fuck anyone. 
Go to a party like bear party in New York 

you will find lots of guys who have a number of bodies they want to fuck be fucked and body is not that important 

[Normaldude]

thank you for the comments guys, Im thinking about trying a Bear party in Berlin? anything you recommend me? also Im gonna be in Paris this weekend, would like to try something there

[BlindRawFucker1]

Remember this, they won’t be young, pretty boys forever.  Then they will be the ones who are turned down.

 

Karma is a bitch, and so fun to watch happen.

[BlueSaphir]

If you want those crowds, you gotta change yourself. Hit the gym and make friends inside. Be consistent with working out. Eat good. And feel good about yourself. 🙂

[hntnhole]

5 hours ago, Normaldude said:

anything you recommend me?

If you haven't already left for Paris, I'd try some of the bars - Scheune, for instance.  They all have basements where guys fuck, and some of them are rather dark.  The attributes you think you reflect won't be so noticeable, and those fuckjoints are often packed, even on weeknights.  Good luck !!

[50latinos]

1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

If you haven't already left for Paris, I'd try some of the bars - Scheune, for instance.  They all have basements where guys fuck, and some of them are rather dark.  The attributes you think you reflect won't be so noticeable, and those fuckjoints are often packed, even on weeknights.  Good luck !!

L'Impact . . .  love that whole in the wall. Even the upstairs bar is mandatory nude.

[Normaldude]

6 hours ago, 50latinos said:

L'Impact . . .  love that whole in the wall. Even the upstairs bar is mandatory nude.

but l' impact is more for twinks, no ?

[Bwccummer]

As far as rejection goes I find seems some play game more to where wonder if enjoy rejection more than fucking or being fucked. 

I guess seems in person or apps/websites of those ask for pictures. I guess find a gloryhole or darkroom.

I am thinking of possibilities of good looking but has a small cock or average guy with a big cock how that play out.

Also noticed some shallow in maybe looking for a guy with 12 inch cock and ignore 10 inches or less. The exception is later individual want to top or bottom be open to guy maybe earlier ignored.

If I went to such a place treated that way not likely return. Or be on guard where not care and explore place. In short see attitude of some wanting super hung superficial. 

 

[Bwccummer]

[think before following links] https://www.netflix.com/us/title/81566571?s=a&trkid=13747225&trg=cp&vlang=en&clip=81763642 title on Netflix "Crime Scene Berlin: Nightlife Killer" .

 

Share to exercise caution. I recall watching but not seem clear reasons for crimes. I find trust instincts if something seems wrong to leave or keep eye on drink, etc.

[KylerIsTrash]

Sorry about your experiences mate. For what it’s worth I want you and I don’t even know what u look like. 🤣 I’m in my mid 30s too and we all get less attractive by the minute.

I try to keep my expectations low. I used to be frustrated if I didn’t end a night with 20 loads. Now I go in without expectations. The more loads I get the better a night. I also am less picky with who I fuck with.

Also, try to be more forward at the bathhouse and don’t care as much when somebody says they’re not interested. I’m a naturally shy dude and it can be cute when people are getting to know me but at the bathhouse it rarely works in your favor. In the age of the internet a lot of guys are just bad about initiating; be forward.

Only do the gym if you want to. Forcing yourself to do something you’re not into rarely works out in your favor. There’s the health benefits of working out but you’ll not see visible results for probably at least 8 weeks and you’ll never have the body of the guys you covet. 

Wear what makes you comfortable. Might be time to push your boundaries tho and try  without the shirt. What’s the worst that happens…more rejection? Could also be a fun time to pick up some gear. Harness or whatever.

Best of luck man. Hope you get thoroughly laid.