rambo13645 Posted July 5 Report Share Posted July 5 Age 40 here and i think i'm really missing out. i've had a strong desire to bottom bareback for well over a decade. i suck cock once in a while and bottomed once in my early 20s but he wore a condom. at that age i was just oblivious to the risk of disease and didnt even care if he wore one or not. but he did and i feel like i missed out. Now i understand the health risks all too well and no matter how powerful the urge is to bareback it never overcomes the risk or fear of acquiring something i do not want that's now with me for life. my biggest fantasies at this point are situations where i'd actually allow it to happen. a committed top couple who convinces me they're clean on a camping trip and they bareback me all week then they invite others in to share me further. another would be a guy who insists on fucking me and suggests a condom just to get in but then rips it off or asks me if he can take it off and cum inside my hole. i know i'd have no willpower to resist in the moment so it's all about getting started. all of that said i just avoid situations where I cant trust my willpower. i spend a lot of time reading here and jerking off coming up with new fantasies. being at this for 10+ years i wonder if i'll ever stumble across the right situation or just live my entire life having never experienced what i really want to. yeah i know - PrEP.., but prep has some health side effects, trashes the kidneys among other things although i havent looked up the details in some time. i also feel like it's still not safe enough. how can i find a truely safe partner? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlB Posted July 5 Report Share Posted July 5 There’s no such thing as “finding” a “truly safe” partner. Even if you have a long-time partner (and I say this as a man who has a husband whom I literally trust with my life), we’re human and we lapse. Importantly this is something that only you can determine and none of us should push you to do something you’re not completely comfortable with. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BootmanLA Posted July 5 Report Share Posted July 5 2 hours ago, rambo13645 said: yeah i know - PrEP.., but prep has some health side effects, trashes the kidneys among other things although i havent looked up the details in some time. i also feel like it's still not safe enough. how can i find a truely safe partner? The side effects of PrEP aren't fictional, but they're not something everyone experiences, and they're something your doctor should be monitoring, in any event. It's not like you take PrEP for a month and suddenly your kidneys fail; rather, in SOME people, their kidney functions are gradually impaired, and if that's the case, you can ask to be switched from an oral medication to Apretude (the long-lasting injectable PrEP that does not have the impact on your kidneys that oral PrEP *may*). And each Apretude injection lasts for two months, so you go in six times a year for a shot, and that's it. But you may find that PrEP doesn't impact your renal function at all. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leakyhole Posted July 5 Report Share Posted July 5 2 hours ago, rambo13645 said: Age 40 here and i think i'm really missing out. i've had a strong desire to bottom bareback for well over a decade. i suck cock once in a while and bottomed once in my early 20s but he wore a condom. at that age i was just oblivious to the risk of disease and didnt even care if he wore one or not. but he did and i feel like i missed out. Now i understand the health risks all too well and no matter how powerful the urge is to bareback it never overcomes the risk or fear of acquiring something i do not want that's now with me for life. my biggest fantasies at this point are situations where i'd actually allow it to happen. a committed top couple who convinces me they're clean on a camping trip and they bareback me all week then they invite others in to share me further. another would be a guy who insists on fucking me and suggests a condom just to get in but then rips it off or asks me if he can take it off and cum inside my hole. i know i'd have no willpower to resist in the moment so it's all about getting started. all of that said i just avoid situations where I cant trust my willpower. i spend a lot of time reading here and jerking off coming up with new fantasies. being at this for 10+ years i wonder if i'll ever stumble across the right situation or just live my entire life having never experienced what i really want to. yeah i know - PrEP.., but prep has some health side effects, trashes the kidneys among other things although i havent looked up the details in some time. i also feel like it's still not safe enough. how can i find a truely safe partner? Look...I know your story, I was like you. You'll end up doing it anyway. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators viking8x6 Posted July 6 Moderators Report Share Posted July 6 Justifying bareback is actually pretty easy. Many of us who do, simply believe that the benefits outweigh the risks. Personally, I used condoms for a couple of decades. When PrEP became available, I jumped for it. In my estimation, the risk of harm from it is clearly outweighed by the quality of life benefit I get from going bare. Nothing in life is safe. Every action you take has some risk attached to it. But the early 21st century developed world, even for sexually active MSM, is a whole lot safer than some people would have you believe. 7 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faggotsub Posted July 6 Report Share Posted July 6 JESUS THIS SOUNDS SO FUCKING COMPLICATED FOR SOMETHING THATS NATURAL POZ 30 YEARS AND I REMEMBER THINKING WHEN I WAS GIVEN A DEATH SENTANCE IN 94 BEFORE THE COCKTAIL I WOULDN" HAVE CHANGED A THING. TODAY IT ISN'T THAT EASY TO GET KNOCKED UP. I CAN'T IMAGINE THE TORMENT OF HAVING TO CHOOSE WHICH WAY TO GO. AIN'T SEX WITH A WRAPPED COCK, AT LEAST FOR ME. BUT AS VIKING SAYS NOTHING IS COMPLETELY SAFE BEEN ON MEDS AS LONG AS THEY HAVE BEEN OUT AND THEY NEVER AFFECTED MY KIDNEYS, THOUGH I DO HAVE SOME WASTING AND THAT IS FROM THE DRUGS OR SO IM TOLD HARD CHOICE FOR SOME. 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seaguy Posted July 6 Report Share Posted July 6 On 7/5/2024 at 11:51 AM, BootmanLA said: The side effects of PrEP aren't fictional, but they're not something everyone experiences, and they're something your doctor should be monitoring, in any event. It's not like you take PrEP for a month and suddenly your kidneys fail; rather, in SOME people, their kidney functions are gradually impaired, and if that's the case, you can ask to be switched from an oral medication to Apretude (the long-lasting injectable PrEP that does not have the impact on your kidneys that oral PrEP *may*). And each Apretude injection lasts for two months, so you go in six times a year for a shot, and that's it. But you may find that PrEP doesn't impact your renal function at all. I first got Truvada for PrEP but experienced side effects that made me feel like I had the flu wityh body aches. So0 then I was switched to Descovy and have had no issues with taking it. There is also Apretude, an injectable that is given every two months. So you have choices and Descovy has fewer issues with the kidneys and liver. You can also do PrEP on demand if you are not having sex frequenbtly and when you do have sex your able to plan ahead and start taking your PrEP ahead of your sexual encounter. PrEP endsd up being free for most people. Being able to have bareback sex is worth it because it feels so much better. Once you go bareback though yo9u won't want to get fucked with a condom ever again. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wallacemartini Posted July 6 Report Share Posted July 6 The straights fuck bare without much of a care. I'll be damned if they get all the fun. Raw is law. I'm not a gold star gay. STI's happen about as frequently as they did when I fucked women versus men. Free yourself from stigma and judgement. You'll love breeding. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KindaBasic Posted July 7 Report Share Posted July 7 On 7/5/2024 at 12:38 PM, AlB said: There’s no such thing as “finding” a “truly safe” partner. Truth. Years ago, a ‘truly safe’ partner gave me syphilis, which he got from the “truly safe” straight married guy he was meeting on the side. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KindaBasic Posted July 7 Report Share Posted July 7 You don’t need to justify anything you do not feel comfortable with, especially in bed. Most of us have that line in the sand we want to cross, but for whatever reason can’t do. But then things change, and sometimes you move the line a few inches. Other times you step right on over it. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rambo13645 Posted July 7 Author Report Share Posted July 7 I know some day it will finally happen. when i'm just the right amount of drunk and just as horny and there's a nearby guy on sniffies. world is different now that we have an app like that. it used to be craigslist and you'd have a general location but now holy crap. sign in and browse and you see all your very close opportunities. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hntnhole Posted July 7 Report Share Posted July 7 On 7/5/2024 at 12:38 PM, AlB said: Importantly this is something that only you can determine As I see it, this is totally correct. You can listen to advice from other guys that have experienced more than you have, or from medical professionals, but when all is said and done, it's up to you to decide what's important, what's crucial in your life, and then make an informed decision. Remember; it's your life - whatever you decide after serious reflection, will be "right" for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onlyraw Posted July 7 Report Share Posted July 7 Hopefully you have a dr you trust that you can talk to about this and for you- there is no wrong answer… what feels right for you As @BootmanLA said the side effects for PrEP are real …. As they are for any medication… but not everyone gets all of them. Most people don’t have any … or if they do just minor ones… and if you have a good dr … part of taking PrEP is follow up visits to monitor for possible side effects I have been on numerous cocktails since I converted in 1998 … and while I have changed meds over the years due to some side effects… my liver and kidneys are still fine there is also now a “morning after pill” that is supposed to be good for other STDs … So if you think you might give in at some point…. Go on PrEP and see how you deal with it … and you can still play “safe” with condoms if you want…. But if you slip and go bare one time …. You won’t have to beat yourself up remember - sex is supposed to be fun!!! go - play —-explore- enjoy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarebackedBear Posted August 3 Report Share Posted August 3 (edited) On 7/5/2024 at 12:27 PM, rambo13645 said: yeah i know - PrEP.., but prep has some health side effects, trashes the kidneys among other things although i havent looked up the details in some time. i also feel like it's still not safe enough. how can i find a truely safe partner? 41 here, started PrEP at 34. Never enjoyed bottoming with protection much, the freedom of PrEP made me a huge horndog. It's not only taking a load, bare skin on skin has a whole different feeling. I even top some now since I can go bare (never enjoyed topping with a rubber, either). Still on PrEP almost eight years now, never a side effect. Kidneys and liver are fine. No bone fractures other than breaking a few fingers doing a brake job on one of my bugs a few years ago. Your mileage may vary. And no bare sex is ever 100% safe, even with PrEP. Life is about weighing the risks vs. the rewards. You're more likely to die of diabetes than AIDS related complications in any first world country, and that's IF you're infected. Nobody can make the decision for you, but don't forget that avoiding death isn't the same as living. Edited August 3 by BarebackedBear 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rawfuckingonly Posted August 3 Report Share Posted August 3 "Justify" it to WHO? It is what it is. Either you DO it...or you DON'T. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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