Totally Confused

[Bottom Jim]

Do I have been on grunt and Sniffies I clearly state I am a bareback bottom I quite often get asked three questions 

1. What you into?  I am a bottom I want a dick in my ass

2. they send me a picture of their ass. Why would I want that.? I want to see their dick not ass.

3. Can I wear a condom?  I state bareback so the answer is NO

Just read before you ask

[topblkmale]

 

1. I find at least 75% of guys on Grindr are bareback bottoms. The few actual tops might want more specifics regarding oral, fetishes, etc.

2. See number 1. above.

3. This is a trick question. Some tops like to imagine you might be a 'safe' bottom and that you're willing to fuck bareback only with them as an exception if you're both 'clean'.

 

Edited August 22 by topblkmale

[BootmanLA]

1 hour ago, Bottom Jim said:

Do I have been on grunt and Sniffies I clearly state I am a bareback bottom I quite often get asked three questions 

1. What you into?  I am a bottom I want a dick in my ass

2. they send me a picture of their ass. Why would I want that.? I want to see their dick not ass.

3. Can I wear a condom?  I state bareback so the answer is NO

Just read before you ask

I don't use either service, but I do have profiles on a couple of other sites, all of which list my location, my "activity" preference (all say "bottom", not "vers bottom" or anything else), and my "what I'm looking for" (NSA or the equivalent for that site).

Invariably I get messages from people asking "Where are you from?" and "What are you looking for", and an inordinate number of messages from other bottoms. I also mention that I ignore messages from people without public photos in their profiles, and I get these questions from people with no photo, too.

It's clear to me that a lot of people simply see a photo, decide to contact the person, and do not read one word of the profile in question. They just don't bother.

The first "already answered" question I'll sometimes answer, but more often than not I answer with "That's covered in my profile".

If I get a second question like that - and it's never from anyone in a place I might travel to, much less nearby - I usually suggest adult literacy classes because reading comprehension doesn't seem to be in their skill set. Life is too short to deal with lazy asses like that.

[BlindRawFucker1]

People don’t read.

 

They just like to look at the pretty pictures.

 

I read profiles since I can’t see photos.

 

I tell people to read mine before contacting me.

 

But, still I get questions that are clearly spelled out in my profile.

 

What can you do?  Not much.

[badubydo]

2 hours ago, Bottom Jim said:

Do I have been on grunt and Sniffies I clearly state I am a bareback bottom I quite often get asked three questions 

1. What you into?  I am a bottom I want a dick in my ass

2. they send me a picture of their ass. Why would I want that.? I want to see their dick not ass.

3. Can I wear a condom?  I state bareback so the answer is NO

Just read before you ask

I swear nobody reads anymore. I explicitly state I cannot host on my sniffles profile. I get guys who message me, we talk, then they eventually ask "can you host? Or "what your address so I can come over. Like WTF? 

 

Or I get profiles that day they cannot host, so they message me. I tell them I cannot host. They either get mad, or they block me. Like WTF? 

The "so what are you into" is the most annoying fucking think in the world. My picture is of my ass. It states I am a bottom in my profile. What else would I fucking want? A chair on a beach in Mexico with a margarita in my hand? 

 

 

[badubydo]

I literally just had somebody message me on sniffles:

 

"So what are you looking for" 

 

Send dick pic

 

"I kind of read your profile" 

 

Um, why not read the whole fucking thing?

[PozBearWI]

Brothers it sucks that we all see to share the same online life on the proximity apps.  

Maybe I should just change my profile say "if you're actually reading this I'll buy you lunch...".  LOL

[Tanbbottom]

1 hour ago, PozBearWI said:

Brothers it sucks that we all see to share the same online life on the proximity apps.  

Maybe I should just change my profile say "if you're actually reading this I'll buy you lunch...".  LOL

This is the best response ever!!!!!

[NWUSHorny]

I find there is way too much variability in understanding the purpose of a hookup app. Where I live, there are far more men looking for relationships,  just guys to hang out but not do anything I would define as sex, and/or practice "sexual fetishes" that do not require a real human cock.

[BootmanLA]

20 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

I find there is way too much variability in understanding the purpose of a hookup app. Where I live, there are far more men looking for relationships,  just guys to hang out but not do anything I would define as sex, and/or practice "sexual fetishes" that do not require a real human cock.

That's true, but I don't think "hookup apps" have ever been just about hooking up, just as personal ads weren't "just about" sex or "just about" finding a partner. In fact, the "hookup" apps apparently don't consider themselves just "hookup" apps either, as there are places in most where you can indicate you're looking for love, friends, hookups, or whatever.

And that's fine. The problem is that many people don't read profiles so even if you put "ONLY LOOKING FOR NO-STRINGS HOOKUPS THAT INVOLVE YOU FUCKING MY ASS", someone whose profile indicates "Looking for love" will message you and be irritated you won't date them.

[KindaBasic]

Anymore, I think that very few people on those sites ever actually go through with hooking up, no matter the situation. It used to be more fun, but those days seem to be over. I suspect a lot of the guys there never truly plan to go through with it, but live vicariously on the site. 

[JamesL100]

And it must be an instant meet. I had someone running through my town who wanted to fuck in 10mins. I asked for time to shower. He said now. Then his profile was gone!

[hntnhole]

21 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

I usually suggest adult literacy classes because reading comprehension doesn't seem to be in their skill set. Life is too short to deal with lazy asses like that.

LOL ... Well said !!!

All the frustrations expressed seem to point to the answer being a return to meeting guys in-the-flesh, sitting on a barstool a few feet away, leaning against a wall a few feet away, like everyone did a few years ago.  I know every guy can't just pick up and move to someplace with a lot of action, but the "in-person" cruising is missing, and there's no way on earth any apps can make up for the lack of real, actual, in-the-flesh, human contact.  

Even in the tiniest burg, there must be someplace where guys can meet, even if just for some conversation before going to one guy's place to fuck.  There have always been gay men, and they've always figured out places to fuck each other - without relying on fuck apps.  

We don't want to turn into mere extensions of the ether, do we .... 

[BootmanLA]

52 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

LOL ... Well said !!!

All the frustrations expressed seem to point to the answer being a return to meeting guys in-the-flesh, sitting on a barstool a few feet away, leaning against a wall a few feet away, like everyone did a few years ago.  I know every guy can't just pick up and move to someplace with a lot of action, but the "in-person" cruising is missing, and there's no way on earth any apps can make up for the lack of real, actual, in-the-flesh, human contact.  

Even in the tiniest burg, there must be someplace where guys can meet, even if just for some conversation before going to one guy's place to fuck.  There have always been gay men, and they've always figured out places to fuck each other - without relying on fuck apps.  

We don't want to turn into mere extensions of the ether, do we .... 

The only issue I have with this is that my generation (which is close to/overlapping with yours) had more than our fair share of alcoholics and substance abusers in part because "the bars" were the only place to socialize. And a huge number of guys I knew took up smoking (creating another substance abuse problem) because it gave them something to do with their hands while they were standing around talking and drinking. Thankfully in a majority of states smoking indoors is now prohibited, which eliminates (in those places) that nasty reeking odor pervading your clothes whenever you'd go out to socialize.

That said, "the bars" also limited those kinds of casual encounters to evenings and nights, and pretty much weekends or weekend-adjacent nights only, because most people couldn't go out drinking on a Tuesday and get up and be at work on Wednesday morning, especially if they got lucky; that meant either getting in very late and little sleep, or staying over and then having to rush to get home, cleaned up, and changed for work. And in a city with more than one bar you found appealing, there was always the FOMO factor of wondering if the pickings were better at the other place(s). 

For all the downsides, the apps have meant opening up other times during the week, have meant not having to tolerate obnoxious drunks or tweakers or unbreathable air, have meant letting you be in more than one place (ie app) at a time. Of course, you'd think this would improve one's odds, but as we're seeing, it doesn't.

[AirmaxUK]

35 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

The only issue I have with this is that my generation (which is close to/overlapping with yours) had more than our fair share of alcoholics and substance abusers in part because "the bars" were the only place to socialize. And a huge number of guys I knew took up smoking (creating another substance abuse problem) because it gave them something to do with their hands while they were standing around talking and drinking. Thankfully in a majority of states smoking indoors is now prohibited, which eliminates (in those places) that nasty reeking odor pervading your clothes whenever you'd go out to socialize.

That said, "the bars" also limited those kinds of casual encounters to evenings and nights, and pretty much weekends or weekend-adjacent nights only, because most people couldn't go out drinking on a Tuesday and get up and be at work on Wednesday morning, especially if they got lucky; that meant either getting in very late and little sleep, or staying over and then having to rush to get home, cleaned up, and changed for work. And in a city with more than one bar you found appealing, there was always the FOMO factor of wondering if the pickings were better at the other place(s). 

For all the downsides, the apps have meant opening up other times during the week, have meant not having to tolerate obnoxious drunks or tweakers or unbreathable air, have meant letting you be in more than one place (ie app) at a time. Of course, you'd think this would improve one's odds, but as we're seeing, it doesn't.

Maybe it's a regional thing but I think prices for bars/clubs/drinks in London are high enough to keep the addicts away.  On the other hand, some might say expense is a problem.

The only thing I would say is a nuisance on the London scene is guys who won't take no for an answer, and bottoms that are competitive to the point of irritation. 

I'm not a smoker, but I never minded it in cruise bars/club - they still allow it in some places in Berlin -  it has the advantage of masking any of the more unpleasant smells from the darkroom and whatever industrial bleach they use to clean it up. One club I know uses a special disinfectant intended for mortuaries.

My opinion of the apps is very low (see my previous posts on various threads). It likely varies with which app you use and where you are and what the culture is like. UK wise, most guys seem to be on apps for attention and gratification. Few are there to really meet.    

Edited August 23 by AirmaxUK
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