Totally Confused

[hntnhole]

On 8/22/2024 at 5:39 PM, NWUSHorny said:

just guys to hang out but not do anything I would define as sex

That sounds kinda weird .... what is it they're online for then?  Maybe just looking for a little companionship?  That's ok, I suppose, if it's made clear via their profiles, but we're dealing with cruise apps, right?  As in "lets fuck" apps?  

[tallslenderguy]

Maybe there's just a higher degree of illiteracy among guys who have sex with guys?

Before apps, if i wanted sex, i went to __________ and i got fucked. If i wanted to get fucked more, i just hung around _________ until i got fucked as many times as i wanted.  If that cruisy place was slow, i'd go to another cruisy place, there were several.  

We didn't have to write or read anything, just a gesture like touching ones crotch or ass, or often just a look. i used to stand on this cruisy pedestrian bridge at dusk and if i saw a suspect Guy approaching, i'd turn my back and pretend to gaze out at the water below... and hike my shorts down so a little bit of ass was showing. More times than i can recount, a Man would walk up behind me, wordlessly lower my shorts, slide His cock into my hole and wordlessly leave me with cum inside. 

 

[BootmanLA]

1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

That sounds kinda weird .... what is it they're online for then?  Maybe just looking for a little companionship?  That's ok, I suppose, if it's made clear via their profiles, but we're dealing with cruise apps, right?  As in "lets fuck" apps?  

I guarantee that if you look at the options on the various apps in question, there's almost always some sort of multiple choice "Looking for..." question, and the options usually include (among others) no strings attached sex, love, dates, friends, and more. Many in our community approach the apps as though they're the equivalent of sticking your dick through a glory hole, not going into a gay bar or whatever and talking with the people involved, but that doesn't mean they're strictly "cruise apps" or "lets fuck" apps. The app owners themselves intend (for better or worse) for them to be used for a variety of purposes.

Of course, people being idiots, you get guys who list "love, dates, relationship, husband" as the choices they're looking for, and then they message people whose profiles clearly indicate they're in a relationship. You get other guys who won't fill out any of the choices at all, and leave anyone they contact grasping in the dark trying to figure out why this guy with no information (and often no photo) is approaching me. You get the ones who say "No strings attached" who are just looking for regular cuddle buddies to go to dinner with. And so on.

Personally, if I were an app developer, I'd make substantial sections of the profile mandatory to complete before the program will let you see any other users.

[NWUSHorny]

1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

That sounds kinda weird .... what is it they're online for then?  Maybe just looking for a little companionship?  That's ok, I suppose, if it's made clear via their profiles, but we're dealing with cruise apps, right?  As in "lets fuck" apps?  

They're not just on the cruising apps, but at in person cruising spots including places like bathhouses, adult theaters and ABS. I would agree that they are looking for human companionship that is otherwise missing in their lives. I don't claim to understand it, but have been observing it since I've lived here. For me it does nothing but create signal interference on the frequencies that I successfully use for hooking up to fuck in other parts of the world. Then again I'm meeting my needs for human social contact with friends and family in a more conventional manner.

[hntnhole]

I'll defer to both Bootman & NWUSHorny on this one: 

It's been a number of years since I used the last one I was a member of (bbrt), and since nothing is ever static, it's very likely that both of them know more about the issue than I do.  

It does seem (from the conversations above) that guys are using the apps to fulfil a purpose (human interaction) that the apps cannot fulfil as currently formatted.  That said, I still believe that in-person contact is something the apps discourage (whether purposefully or not is another issue), and as a group, we're not as well off as we were before the apps came into such widespread use. 

Thanks, you two.

17 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

Maybe there's just a higher degree of illiteracy among guys who have sex with guys?

<polite cough>

Maybe the divide between the literate and the non is simply more - oh - would "obvious" be too much?  More likely, some guys enjoy communicating via the written word, and some don't ... and thus are less able than others.   

[topblkmale]

Tip: Don't write your profile using complete sentences.

• use
• short
• bullet
• points

 

[cockfun69]

10 hours ago, topblkmale said:

Tip: Don't write your profile using complete sentences.

• use
• short
• bullet
• points

- fuck
- NOW

 

[hungry_hole]

On 8/22/2024 at 1:58 PM, topblkmale said:

I find at least 75% of guys on Grindr are bareback bottoms.

At least 75% of guys at the sauna are also bareback bottoms. 

[hntnhole]

Is there a way to specify that a guy has "hard" limits on Grinder? 

For instance, raw bottom only - raw Top only, etc, etc.?

[BootmanLA]

54 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

Is there a way to specify that a guy has "hard" limits on Grinder? 

For instance, raw bottom only - raw Top only, etc, etc.?

There's plenty of room to type whatever you want in your profile, so yes, of course. But the problem is people simply don't read. 

[hntnhole]

Well then, the only thing to do is have some short, vaguely polite response ready. Something like - oh - "no thanks", for instance.  

Every guy gets to say what he needs, and every other guy gets to either accept or decline.  

 

[topblkmale]

50 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

Well then, the only thing to do is have some short, vaguely polite response ready. Something like - oh - "no thanks", for instance.  

Every guy gets to say what he needs, and every other guy gets to either accept or decline.  

 

There is the option to add polite responses to Saved Phrases for a quick reply. But politeness is time consuming and uncommon in the hook-up app world.

And gay men can't handle outright rejection.

 

 

Beyoncé sang it best. To the left 👈 to the left.

Swipe left.

Delete.

 

[hntnhole]

6 minutes ago, topblkmale said:

Beyoncé sang it best

My money is on Leontyne .... Beyonce is great too, but ... 

The "added phrases" applies to the apps?  

Polite manners take no more time than impolite manners, 

Thanks for your input.  

Edited August 28 by hntnhole

[topblkmale]

57 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

My money is on Leontyne .... Beyonce is great too, but ... 

The "added phrases" applies to the apps?  

Polite manners take no more time than impolite manners, 

Thanks for your input.  

 

Yes. You can add Saved Phrases for a quick reply...or to send a canned message of what you're into.

But most won't read that either and end up asking what are you into?

An endless loop. Gay Inception.

 

[NWUSHorny]

"I don't want to cuddle all night. I have a fucking dick and hole to use if you are interested." That is about as polite as I can get most of all of the time.