Sexual Trends

[SubOhioBttm]

On 6/14/2025 at 4:47 PM, BBBxCumDumpster said:

In contemporary porn it's almost the norm. 

You're right. I think that this is what is at crux of this change. Gay porn was hard to find in the 70's and 80's. You had to go to a XXX theater, or a video booth porn shop. With the rise of the internet, and the ease with which all people can access porn - gay, strait and anything goes - people tend to crave  something 'more' or 'new'... Harder hard core,  more kink, push the extremes. It's somewhat like that in all forms of 'art'. What we see in cinema now would never have been seen 3 decades ago. Horror films from the 70' and 80's scared the shit out of me. The Exorcist in 73 pushed every boundary, and sold millions. I watch it now, and it seems almost tame to some of the slasher horror films of today.  

 

On 6/14/2025 at 4:47 PM, BBBxCumDumpster said:

I'm not complaining about trend but noticing the way we have sex now is different than it used to be.  At least in my experience.  Does anyone else remember differently?

 I'm not complaining either. It is different. I didn't know what was out there when I started. Now, it's easy to see the extremes. I remember this much the same as you.  I appreciate your thoughtful post.  Thanks!  

[ffabbian]

Years ago I spent hours with a guy  kissing and simulating sex. Not fucking, no oral, no rimming, just kissing and our bodies grinding against each other. It felt like the best sex for both us. We were at a house party at the time and when we finally fucked at his flat it was just as good. 

I love to kiss. It instantly turns me on or off the guy.  I'm more comfortable with fucking and fisting with a random guy   and not ar all comfortable with hugging. It's too personal and I have to really like the guy  first otherwise it's too weird. 

[ffabbian]

32 minutes ago, SubOhioBttm said:

You're right. I think that this is what is at crux of this change. Gay porn was hard to find in the 70's and 80's. You had to go to a XXX theater, or a video booth porn shop. With the rise of the internet, and the ease with which all people can access porn - gay, strait and anything goes - people tend to crave  something 'more' or 'new'... Harder hard core,  more kink, push the extremes. It's somewhat like that in all forms of 'art'. What we see in cinema now would never have been seen 3 decades ago. Horror films from the 70' and 80's scared the shit out of me. The Exorcist in 73 pushed every boundary, and sold millions. I watch it now, and it seems almost tame to some of the slasher horror films of today.  

 

 I'm not complaining either. It is different. I didn't know what was out there when I started. Now, it's easy to see the extremes. I remember this much the same as you.  I appreciate your thoughtful post.  Thanks!  

I don't know. I was into fisting and rimming before I saw any fisting and rimming porn

[NastyRawBottom]

I have a questions for anyone who’s lived through it. 

Were cumdumps as prevalent after AIDS but before PrEP? Was the lifestyle much different?

I feel like so many bottoms want to become cumdumps now or feel like they have to be. When I started being a cumdump in the mid-2010s it was still relatively rare and [banned word]. If you were a cumdump, you were pretty much a bugchaser. PrEP did already exist but it wasn’t as well marketed or understood. I never took it.

I feel like many more bottoms are comfortable being cumdumps cause of PrEP and now Doxy. 

So I wonder how the cumdump lifestyle was in the years before I started. 

[Iker80]

I was born in the late 80s so I don't remember those times, but I have seen changes. There's a lot more talk about sub and dom, even guys are asking me which one am I like you have to be one of them. But it's not really my thing. I can be rough or let another guy be rough with me, but I don't turn it on and off as part of my everyday way of being. Usually with guys I meet things are more mutual and whatever energy we find happens naturally. But that can be rough, I recently met a guy about my size who handled me rougher than I expected. I was growling and really wanted to give him a kick, but he was hot and doing a good job so I was also growling and swearing because I was annoyed I was enjoying it. Interesting energy between us. I don't think I've become a sub now though, it was just something that happened. It's the trying to create situations that seems to be more popular now. The thing is it doesn't feel so natural for me when you're trying to make it happen.

[MuscledHorse]

On 6/14/2025 at 4:47 PM, BBBxCumDumpster said:

When I was coming of age in New York in the 80's sexual habits were different. I'm speaking from my many many experiences and from porn then and now.  For one thing, you didn't hear sub or submisssive or top or bottom often.  You were French active ( you suck) and Greek passive (you got fucked.) Now those expressions are antiquated. But bottoms aren't just bottoms: now, many are submissive, implying they want aggressive tops. 

And speaking  of tops, they generally didn't hold your head and fuck your throat or gag or choke you.   That seems much more prevalent in the last  25 years or so.  I experience it nearly every time I bottom. In contemporary porn it's almost the norm.  And ass- eating wasn't the norm either.  Now, in RL and porn, nobody gets fucked without being eaten out. I remember one time getting my add eaten in the 80's. I'm not complaining about trend but noticing the way we have sex now is different than it used to be.  At least in my experience.  Does anyone else remember differently?

Many things have changed since I was in college and being a slut. Social media has been the biggest influence. IN the 1990's porn scenes with massive toys or fisting were "controversial" and only available on the purchased version. First time I saw Falcon's "Flashpoint" scene with the massive toys and (first time in porn) traffic cone) and a bottom so gaped it was jaw dropping for the time, I knew I wanted that to be my hole. But X-Tube changed all that as it brought the kink world into easily accessible view. The result has been an uptick in all the things you describe because it's been seen in self made porn. Guys like me with an anus and rectum so overstretched out size and depth skills rival a mare, can easily be seen and viewed (I'm jaredEriksonXXX on X and Bluesky). When I teach fisting classes I have to caution guys that what you see in porn is only a small part of what goes on in actual fisting because film requires action since the viewers can't see or feel small hand movements inside the bottom, which can be as intense and pleasurable for the bottom as any of the punching and such that you so see on film.

[hntnhole]

On 7/7/2025 at 8:57 AM, NastyRawBottom said:

Were cumdumps as prevalent after AIDS but before PrEP? Was the lifestyle much different?

In a word, no.  

After hiv arrived, there were a handful, of course, that just didn't care; they became infected and passed on.  I lived in Chicago at the time, and bars closed, the gh joints closed, and boystown was deserted after dark.  Nobody fucked anybody without a condom, and precious few even did that.  Whole neighborhoods turned into ghost-towns.  

Once the medical arts progressed to the point that AZT came along, some guys that were on it started fucking again, but my other half and I were still shy of going out to fuck as we had before.  AZT was considered to be at least a chance at avoiding hiv, but it took quite a while (several years) before we all returned to our former glory.  

[PaganzofLA]

This really the topic of the eleventh hour—to which, as a counter point as well as a verification, I encourage you all to make a ‘truth social account’ to experience for yourself the flavor of the ‘silent’ trend specifically occurring in the online queer social networking hook-up apps. This trend I would call the red-haring or inflated pseudo-trend. As it is said, there is nothing new under the sun, and this is especially true among gay online community.  And instead of a bonafide gay real estate arising from the inter-webs, we got the ‘borrowed’ visibility on the self-censoring ‘big’ platforms or the ‘all the cock you can eat plus some’ hook-up sites. And simply for the lack of innovation this stagnation has bottlenecked the queer community into the portrait that being painted of there on truth social—most likely by the same self-loathing faggots who show-up here on queer sacred ground to promote their agenda. Remember everything has to be talked about. the moment you cannot speak of a thing is the moment it has claimed power over you. I say, keep it fresh, kinky, viral & real… old school baby, Donna Summers, Grand Funkmaster, Studio54 style do it on the dance floor mutha-fuckers!!

[verbalBTTM]

On 7/7/2025 at 8:57 AM, NastyRawBottom said:

I have a questions for anyone who’s lived through it. 

Were cumdumps as prevalent after AIDS but before PrEP? Was the lifestyle much different?

I feel like so many bottoms want to become cumdumps now or feel like they have to be. When I started being a cumdump in the mid-2010s it was still relatively rare and [banned word]. If you were a cumdump, you were pretty much a bugchaser. PrEP did already exist but it wasn’t as well marketed or understood. I never took it.

I feel like many more bottoms are comfortable being cumdumps cause of PrEP and now Doxy. 

So I wonder how the cumdump lifestyle was in the years before I started. 

I remember those days very well, and no cum dumps were rare, or rarely advertised. PREP was still in the experimental stages and 2 of my friends were volunteers and they caught HIV just like the rest. When I first came out I asked the oldest men I could find, "how did you survive". They all told me you're either a top or in a strictly monogamous relationship. 

I was recently going through some old photos and ran across a pic of me and 20 of my old friends when were we hanging at riis beach. We were all young and naked and having a great time. The thing that stopped me and made me cry is I remember going to all of there funerals. I'm the only one who is still alive. Most of them passed on from HIV complications like pneumonia, a few others passed due to over taxing their bodies from extended drug use.

I was the conservative one when going out. I would drink and smoke some pot, but mainly left the rest of the stuff alone or partook lightly. Guys from my generation and the ones before me were scared to hook-up with just anyone. We would need to know more information before going there, you could call it an interview for sex. When meth became popular in the early 2000's the death toll raised pretty quickly at least for me. 

PREP is a total game changer for gay life, never before have I seen so many guys do the things that they do and live past the 2-4 year mark. You never saw breeding parties except in strictly controlled BDSM arrangements. Sure they existed but not for people who were HIV-. Those days were scary, but also exciting in a way. You assumed everyone was HIV+ and proceeded at your own risk. We also had a tighter community where we supported each other unlike today, because that's all we had. There was no social acceptance for gay life and the only people you could rely on were your friends.

A lot has changed since those days and I'm really happy for the younger guys. They get to live the life we all wanted to, but for us older guys our mental scars prevent us from doing those things the same way. Today the medicine for HIV is much better with fewer negative effects and longer life outcomes. 

[tallslenderguy]

Just seeing this, but Wow, great discussion!!

i have all sorts of thoughts/feelings as i read through the comments, so i'll throw them into the mix.

my feel is that there are no new sex acts... i.e., 'nothing new under the sun.'  Which is not to suggest there aren't "trends."  i speculate that, in part, trends are influenced by the waxing and waning of cultural openness/repression.

i recently posted a review of Cabaret.  The movie is set during WWII, but was made in the1970's, so it wasn't written or acted from the perspective of the era it depicted, so there was likely a mix of both? Still, one point the movie makes is how liberal and open Berlin was towards gays, and how quickly that reversed depending on the social structure in power at the time.  

The gay community is (and always has been?) a minority that exists in the larger context of heteronormative dominance and influence. The more liberal the social structure, the freer the social expressions, e.g., porn, movies, etc..  Words, descriptors change, but i think guys are basically the same. A gay guy in 1955 may not have rimmed, not because he didn't want to , but he maybe didn't think of it and there was no media available to give him the idea? 

We also tend to look at this topic from the perspective of our experience and life time, but just as we can see extreme trends just in our lifetime, in the broader context of human history, i suspect we could find similar waxing and waning of sexual trends. Pompeii comes to mind lol. 

[tallslenderguy]

On 7/7/2025 at 5:57 AM, NastyRawBottom said:

I have a questions for anyone who’s lived through it. 

Were cumdumps as prevalent after AIDS but before PrEP? Was the lifestyle much different?

I feel like so many bottoms want to become cumdumps now or feel like they have to be. When I started being a cumdump in the mid-2010s it was still relatively rare and [banned word]. If you were a cumdump, you were pretty much a bugchaser. PrEP did already exist but it wasn’t as well marketed or understood. I never took it.

I feel like many more bottoms are comfortable being cumdumps cause of PrEP and now Doxy. 

So I wonder how the cumdump lifestyle was in the years before I started. 

i was just becoming sexually active with guys in the 80's. i watched my older brother die an awful death from AID's.  With guys, i've always been pretty much (99.999%) bottom. i've been with and received 1000's of cocks and loads. i can count on 2 fingers the number of times i've used a condom. Was i a cumdump?  i didn't hear or use the term, but comparatively speaking, i was.  

Was i afraid of AID's?  Yes, but my drive to be taken/possessed by a Man and bred was stronger than my fear (by far).  For me, it had nothing to do with bug chasing... and that wasn't a thing in the 80's anyway. i don't relate to the notion of "becoming a cumdump."   i was being myself, not really becoming anything. 

Ironically, i found out i was poz when i went to get tested so i could go on PrEP, but even that wasn't a big deal for me, just felt more responsible, sort of like getting vaccinated.  It was amazing it took as long as it did for me to become poz.  

i believe, prior to AID's, condoms didn't exist in the gay community.  Condoms, prior to AID's, were a form of birth control.  The idea of using them for STD's became a thing because of AID's.  Prior to AID's, i don't think the term "bareback" existed either, it was just fucking lol. Guys didn't use condoms with guys because there was no risk of making a baby. So, i think if you wanted to get fucked, you were gonna be a cumdump to one degree or another. 

[ellentonboy]

I was sexually active from the time I was in high school, and by that I mean having bareback sex with college students and men I met in movie theaters.  I couldn't go to a "gay bar" till years after I started having sex with men on a regular basis.

One thing that I have noticed is that people didn't put in you in a category back then.   I never asked is someone was  a top or a bottom, to be honest I didn't really use or hear those terms. I just had sex with the guys I was attracted  to and worked it out.   At that time my interest was just getting naked and see where it went from there.

Today, it's a different story.  People joke, if someone says they are versatile, you'll read comments like "well, that means you are a bottom".  No, not necessarily.  I have come across guys whose profile reads a certain way, and then when you meet in person and the sex begins, you find they have different interests.

I don't like all the bashing among guys who identify as bottoms, it's almost as if they look down upon someone who may be able to get the guy who they want up their ass.  Well, you can't get everyone, and you can't take it personally.  I feel that sex today is not what is was in 1995, or 1985 for that matter.   Yes, HIV changed people's behavior.  Some took precautions, others did not.  I don't recall people insisting on condoms, and they certainly weren't used in the places where I was having sex.

I blame the internet and online sites for the changes in how we interact and meet.  It's been my experience that meeting a person, either in  a "fuck joint" or a bar, is more desirable than scrolling through endless profiles.  But those locations are drying up or unavailable for  many guys, so that is where technology and smart phones have helped.

  But still, the "old school" way of hooking up where you meet the person first, and then decide to have sex is more desirable in my opinion.

[norefusal]

On 6/14/2025 at 4:47 PM, BBBxCumDumpster said:

When I was coming of age in New York in the 80's sexual habits were different. I'm speaking from my many many experiences and from porn then and now.  For one thing, you didn't hear sub or submisssive or top or bottom often.  You were French active ( you suck) and Greek passive (you got fucked.) Now those expressions are antiquated. But bottoms aren't just bottoms: now, many are submissive, implying they want aggressive tops. 

And speaking  of tops, they generally didn't hold your head and fuck your throat or gag or choke you.   That seems much more prevalent in the last  25 years or so.  I experience it nearly every time I bottom. In contemporary porn it's almost the norm.  And ass- eating wasn't the norm either.  Now, in RL and porn, nobody gets fucked without being eaten out. I remember one time getting my add eaten in the 80's. I'm not complaining about trend but noticing the way we have sex now is different than it used to be.  At least in my experience.  Does anyone else remember differently?

yes, the sex on offer has definitely changed due to our relationship with HIV and societal norms etc.

Back in the 90s guys got gay bashed on the street regularly so if a trick called me faggot and slapped me, i'd run out that door so fast! today? if he's not choking me and calling me bitch, i'm not enjoying myself 😜

but i also realize all the ways ive changed to. 

1980s i was str8 and on DL. forget kink, i was barely having sex 😜

1990s i was so obsessed w being one of "the good gays" - model minority syndrome- that although i dabbled in kink i couldn't sustain interest in anything more than trophy husband hunting. 

00-20 i was off the market married to my ex  and fairly vanilla

21-25 the pendulum has slung fully. pig sex w nameless strangers or im not interested. Men will only break your heart so better to just use them for sex and then walk away. 

[verbalBTTM]

2 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

i was just becoming sexually active with guys in the 80's. i watched my older brother die an awful death from AID's.  With guys, i've always been pretty much (99.999%) bottom. i've been with and received 1000's of cocks and loads. i can count on 2 fingers the number of times i've used a condom. Was i a cumdump?  i didn't hear or use the term, but comparatively speaking, i was.  

Was i afraid of AID's?  Yes, but my drive to be taken/possessed by a Man and bred was stronger than my fear (by far).  For me, it had nothing to do with bug chasing... and that wasn't a thing in the 80's anyway. i don't relate to the notion of "becoming a cumdump."   i was being myself, not really becoming anything. 

Ironically, i found out i was poz when i went to get tested so i could go on PrEP, but even that wasn't a big deal for me, just felt more responsible, sort of like getting vaccinated.  It was amazing it took as long as it did for me to become poz.  

i believe, prior to AID's, condoms didn't exist in the gay community.  Condoms, prior to AID's, were a form of birth control.  The idea of using them for STD's became a thing because of AID's.  Prior to AID's, i don't think the term "bareback" existed either, it was just fucking lol. Guys didn't use condoms with guys because there was no risk of making a baby. So, i think if you wanted to get fucked, you were gonna be a cumdump to one degree or another. 

I was always envious of guys like you, being able to just let go and enjoy all the dick you wanted. I was always to scared, but I think that's about to change for me. 

[hntnhole]

On 6/15/2025 at 10:14 PM, NWUSHorny said:

The term is recent the problem of guys that won't fuck or get fucked was problem with or without the term. The other trend I dislike is the prevalence of cuddling as the preferred "sexual" activity in cities where "sides" make up the majority. Here in the PNW guys go to the bathhouses looking for cuddle buddies, even though there are events other places for nonsexual cuddling only.

100% agreed.  This is why I hit the fuckjoints around here - the guys there have one thing on their minds, and they've left their "gay encyclopedia" at home.  The guys there are blunt in advertising what they need, no bullshit about this latest "trendette", or that innovation in descriptive crap.  I don't think I've ever set foot in one of the many "fern" bars around here, and it'll stay that way.  Cuddling is for a big basket of puppies (I mean real ones).  Once the mating is over, there's no chance of cuddling in the fuckjoints, since each guy that just fucked are on their way - sniffing around for their next one.