Testing questions.

[colletonguy]

Since I've been on this site, I've been having more bareback sex, (big surprise lol).

Up until a few months ago, I had only taken 3 guys I knew very well raw. Now the number is up to 8. I'm not actively seeking the bug. I'd rather stay negative as long as possible but understand that sooner or later either someone will lie to me or not know they're positive. How often and how should I get tested. Are the mail order tests like they have at the drug stores reliable? I live in a very small town, hell most of the doctors here come in my shop. lol So discretion is as important as getting accurate test.

[Bttm2go]

I have not used any of the at home tests. Always get tested every year during my physical.

[PhoenixGeoff]

If I can make a suggestion, if you have a doctor, he or she should know that you're gay (or bi). If you're not comfortable with discussing the barebacking issue with him, that's fine. It's not unreasonable for any sexually active gay man, including those who never bareback, to get tested for HIV regularly. The CDC recommends that you should be getting test annually.

Now: let me bring up an important issue for you to consider, since you're moving into a higher risk category. You sound like you don't have a doctor there that you'd be comfortable talking to about these kinds of issues. It also sounds like you're pretty well established in your local community and not really likely to want to live anywhere else. So you really need to be thinking now about what you are going to do if and when you test positive for HIV.

A few things to consider:

• You absolutely will need to have an excellent relationship with a primary care physician who is either already knowledgeable about treating HIV or willing to study up on it. If you're not willing to talk to any of the local doctors about getting tested for HIV, who's going to treat you if you do seroconvert? The possibilities are you either start broaching the topic with your current doctor now, or you start looking for alternatives. Rural areas and small towns are often poorly served by medical personnel who have experience dealing with HIV.
  
• Are you a small business owner? It sounds like you are. If you are currently paying for your own health insurance, expect your premiums to skyrocket the moment you test positive. Do you have alternative means of getting treated if you need them? Worse, if you don't have health insurance at all right now, how will you pay for your care? Larger cities often have better support systems for people with HIV. One alternative, if you have military service, is to see if you can get into your local VA.
  
• What are your alternatives for health care? Would you be willing to move to a larger city? Would you be willing to travel to visit a doctor four times a year if you didn't want to move? Or would you be willing to "out" yourself to a local doctor?
  

With respect to the kits in the drug stores, they work fine, with normal levels of reliability. But of course, you'd have to walk into the drug store and buy them in the first place, and someone might see you there.

I've spent time in the South, and I completely understand the need and desire for discretion. But all of this stuff your talking about is largely brought on by the fact that you're living in the closet. At a certain point, you're going to have to trust someone who'll be able to give you the help and support you need.

[Guest MightyMouth]

You do need to be thinking now about healthcare. MascMountainMan is absolutely right about the concerns he raises for you. Serosorting will eventually fail you (trust me, I know). If you end up on the public programs you really do need to be prepared to move to a city or at least learn really quickly to be your own advocate. These rural areas don't have the understanding (and probably don't care to have it) that is required to treat HIV.

[Ingulphus]

Excellent advice from both posters!

[HardhatBB]

i get em free anytime in my area, as well as free STI tests. The nurse after talking with me said once every 6 mos is fine. And LOL told me to make sure i use alot of grease for BB, as a top its less risk (not much ) but less risk.