rawTOP

What size do you have? Are you planning on using it as a bottom or top? Please report back about your experiences and what the guys you hookup with think of it. So far the poll says 1 top liked it and 1 bottom thought it was "just OK". Hopefully we'll get more feedback.

This video is cute (and relatively recent), but just not on the same level as the one by Freddie Mercury...

I just saw this video and it made me think about how much gay culture has lost... Today it's all about marriage and being like straight people. But back then we were queers & fags - and we made the most of it by being absolutely fabulous. The AIDS crisis wiped out a lot of the uninhibited behavior and the creativity that went along with it since it was the creative guys back then who often took the most risks (even sexually). Today our most uninhibited guys (sexually) are often drug addicts. OK, sure they were drug addicts back then too - but they created stuff when they were on drugs. What in the hell has a meth addict ever created? So much has been lost, in so many ways - it's sorta sad. I didn't really get to experience much of the uninhibited gay culture you see in the video. But there was still a little bit left by the late 80s and early 90s when I was out at the clubs. I gotta say I really miss it. While BBRT is nice, I'd trade it in a second to go back to the type of club you see in that video...

Yes, I've roughed up bottoms with my PA so bad that they couldn't get fucked for a number of days. It depends on if the top stays in deep or keeps pulling through your sphincter. As a top, it's sometimes painful to fuck with a PA. Depends on a lot of things, but when the pain gets too great I pull out and remove the PA and continue on.

I'm just curious if any of you have experience with the Oxballs Pig Hole? It's designed to be a butt plug that can be in place while you're fucking. To the bottom it's a butt plug, to the top it's a bit like a fleshlight (only better 'cause you're not wasting your cum). Here are a couple of pics (click to see bigger pics)... I'm just wondering what the experience is like for both the top and the bottom. I'm imagining for the bottom it stretches their hole, but desensitizes otherwise during the fuck. And for the top it probably makes the hole tighter. All in all is it something that's worth the $56 or so they charge for it? Is it fun to use frequently, occasionally, or is it just not worth it? But then there's the question of size - there are three sizes. They say the large is for fisters, so ruling that out, which do you think is better - the small or the medium? Does it depend on the size of the top's dick? I'm guessing I'd use a small since I'm not particularly thick and I like a tight hole. But if I were organizing a gangbang a medium might be better - at least it would suit the tops with thick dicks, but tops with regular dicks might find the hole too loose. [There's also the advantage of being able to dump stuff up the bottom's hole 'cause it's always gaping open - but there are a lot of plugs that let you do that. What's unique about the Pig Hole is that you can fuck with it. And of course the disadvantage of the Pig Hole is that when the bottom stands up the cum in his ass doesn't stay in his ass. All that aside what I'm really interested in is what it's like when you're fucking.]

It's almost impossible to get HIV from giving a blowjob. Are you in one of those abstinence only states for sex ed? That's pretty basic knowledge...

Except that the survey research above says that 2/3rd of the existing customers like milk chocolate... But clearly they also like dark chocolate and 1/3rd may be alienated...

Thanks. You're probably right. Despite the poll telling me to be a slut, rawTOP (the persona, not the person) should probably continue to be a top. And now that I've said what I've said, that also has the added allure of guys wondering what has been left out of the stories. Especially since, if I start taking loads, my HIV status will probably change... Guys will wonder what the real deal is when I fuck "neg" bottoms... Controversy and intrigue is a good thing in my business... So I think that sorta settles it... I'll do what suits me, and write up the parts of the story that are consistent with the brand and leave out the other details... In ways that's what I've already done with some of the stories I've written in the past. It's not like every detail gets into the story. Some bits are glossed over because, for one reason or another, it's not something I want to share with the public...

That's the big question... The point being that I'm not quite sure what I prefer. I came out of a fundamentalist environment into the middle of the AIDS crisis and then a year after my first sexual encounter I started escorting. My foggy memory is that the tear happened towards the end of when I was escorting - so say 18 months after my first sexual encounter. I don't remember much of what I enjoyed sexually from back then. I hadn't really figured sex out (so to speak) and then I was renting out my body. I remember at the end of the 9 months of escorting feeling like my body didn't belong to me. I was rather fucked up sexually (some may say I still am). Now I understand so much more about sex. Things would be very different if I went back and did things over knowing what I know now. But that is what it is. All I can remember of bottoming back then is a few snippets. I remember two johns at the Marriott Marquis working me over, plugging me from both ends. I remember feeling out of control - not knowing whether they were using condoms, etc. (I used condoms fairly religiously back then). My mouth constantly had a dick in it and I couldn't talk, and they held my arms in a way that I couldn't reach around and check for a condom, or when I did check I couldn't be sure what I felt was a condom. I didn't like feeling so out of control. And I remember hooking up with a rich muscular guy on the Upper West Side (not a john) who kept trying to fuck me without a condom - it got to the point of rape since he tried over and over and over to get inside me when I was saying no and physically pushing him off me. Needless to say, I didn't like that either. But then I remember going home from the Spike to a Latino's place on West 15th Street - 5th or 6th floor walkup across from what is now Google's NY headquarters - it was by far the roughest, hottest, sex I had ever had. He was completely in control, took me past what I ever thought I wanted to do, but I felt safe with him. So from what I can remember - I like giving up control to a top who I trust, but when it feels like I can't at least stop or slow down what's going on I get completely weirded out. It's sort of the topish side of me coming out - even in bottoming I need to have a certain degree of control - though I know I'm not a pushy, controlling bottom - I understand that when I bottom I need to let the top call the shots (to a point). I guess what I'm trying to say is I know I like being a top, and I know I'm not a bottom like many of the bottoms I hookup with who love not being in control and just love being used and worked over - I'm pretty confident I'll never be that sort of bottom. But I could totally see swapping loads with a versatile guy where I'm the dominant versatile top and he's a versatile bottom. I could even see being a submissive bottom for a top who makes me feel safe. But that's just all theoretical. I won't really know what I like until I actually do it, and I can't do any of it until my ass heals - and that's months away... I see the poll is shifting now - 2/3rd in favor of me being a slut to gives and takes as many loads as possible. I'd really like to see more guys respond to the poll...

Agreed - if nothing else it gives more variety... My sex life has gotten pretty routine.

I should probably say I'm not going to do what a poll tells me to do. It's more like I'm curious what people think. The discussion here and opinion on the poll may get me to think differently, but generally I'll do what I feel like doing (as always). Where the discussion here and the poll will definitely make a difference is in management of my brand. If you guys want rawTOP to be an exclusive top, then that's the part of my sex life that I'll write up and present publicly. (It's not like you need to know everything I do). Thing is, it seems like it's split 50/50 - half of you want me to be a huge slut and give and take as many loads as possible. The other half wants me to be completely or mostly a top. Either way, it'll be months before I can even think about getting fucked. At the moment I'm just toying with the idea... In the past, the few times I've been fucked (other than 20+ years ago), I really sorta hated getting fucked. I don't know if that was because of the fissure or if it was something more fundamental. So who knows - maybe I'll experiment and find I still hate getting fucked. I know even now there are a lot of bottoming scenarios which will never work for me - I'm just too much of a top. The energy with the other guy would have to be just right for me to bottom...

I'm really surprised no one has anything to say about this question... The distribution of poll responses is interesting as well.

Part of the reason why I'm a top is because I've had a reoccurring anal fissure. I've never really felt the need to bottom strong enough to get it fixed (since it only flares up occasionally), but now I'm finally working with a colorectal surgeon to get it fixed since it was a major complication last time I was sick. You guys know me fairly well... When my butt is fixed should I start taking loads? I know it's a personal choice, but just wondering what you guys think... I think inherently I'm a vers top - I do really love to seed a hole, but once I've scratched that need and blown my load should I let guys fuck me? If so, how much bottoming should I do? Should I just do it rarely, or should I do it anytime the opportunity presents itself? And how do you think it will affect my reputation as rawTOP? I mean since I usually only blow one load a day, it's conceivable I could take more loads than I give if I start going to things like sex parties where I give one and take multiple.

There are many threads on here about fuck flu. When you do a search put it in double quotes "fuck flu" - otherwise you're searching for fuck and/or flu.

Another thing Jayson Park & I are discussing... He thinks "scary" isn't hot. While I can see where relationship-minded bottoms might not want scary, I think a certain level of scariness would turn on a lot of guys. What do you guys think? Do you like it when you're a little scared of the guy who's fucking you? How about very scared? What's your limit?

Jayson Park wants to shoot a video with me, but he doesn't like the executioner's hood I usually wear. He wants me to wear a baseball cap and sunglasses. He doesn't think the hood is sexy, I think the baseball cap and sunglasses is creepy (sorta stalker-ish). What do you guys think? Which is the better way to conceal my identity?

Just wondering whether bottoms mostly get fucked for the fuck or for the load? I guess if you put it another way - which would disappoint you more - a top blowing his load in your hole after a few strokes or a top fucking you for an hour and not cumming?

Would love to fuck you. Hit me up... Here or same name on BBRT or nycFUCKER on A4A.

Simple. Bottoms get the load blown into the part of their body that's built to absorb things. Tops at most get their dicks wet and skin is made to repel fluids. Only if stuff gets up in the urethra or if there's a cut or (maybe) if the top is uncircumcised is the top even at minimal risk.

Simple - open relationship. I've been with my bf for 15 year (almost). He's also a total top. Even if I started bottoming I'm not sure I'd encourage him to fuck me - we just have different approaches to sex (I like anonymous, he likes 'connected'/'intimate' sex). I think it works because you think a lot a like... And if everything except the sex works in the relationship - its still a relationship worth having. There are plenty of other men out there to scratch your itch when you need a good fuck.

It's generally much more difficult for a top to convert. I've been fucking raw for a long time now and it still hasn't happened. It's not like I'm trying to stay neg... My best friend converted apparently just from topping. He's a versatile top, but hadn't taken loads for a while before he got fuck flu. And HungLatinDom (who works for me) also converted as a top. He thinks it was from being a fisting top. I'll let him go into more detail. I used to discount stories of tops converting - thinking they were guys who didn't want to admit to bottoming. But I'm close enough to those two guys to believe them - so it happens. I'd say everyone who barebacks actively and regularly should count on becoming poz. Let it be a pleasant surprise if you stay neg. Bottoms can generally count on it within 6 to 12 months of becoming a cumdump. With tops it'll probably take years - but there's a decent chance it will happen.

Some tops like a loose ass, others light tight asses. Your trick as a bottom is to figure out which one your top likes. Pay attention to whether things are working for him and once he's in a groove, keep things consistent. So it's good that you're having less pain and can take cock more easily. That will really please the guys who like a loose hole. Now the only trick is to learn to tighten up during sex for the tops who prefer a tighter hole. For me, I'd say it depends on the position. So on all fours I want a tight hole. Ditto for riding my cock (which is almost impossible - since in a squat position you can't really tighten up your hole). But on a bottom's belly loose is fine. Then it's more about does the sensitive part of my dick rub up against something or is it beyond the sphincter muscle in sort of a void.

This is via Josh over at Positive Alliance - the folks who run Poz Thursdays at The Ritz...

Maybe you didn't understand me, but by adding undetectable bottoms to who you fuck you will lower your risk since you're less likely to get HIV from them than from a bottom who claims to be neg. No, you weren't introduced too early. You're in your sexual prime. You should enjoy sex to the fullest.

Barebacking is an addictive, one-way street. Just accept it and ditch the condoms. IMHO, you're at lower risk with an undetectable bottom because neg bottoms may be poz and not know it in which case they could possibly infect a top. lol It's never too early.