rawTOP

It's only an insult if you value feminine less than masculine or if you think men shouldn't be feminine. I don't. Masculine/Feminine are meaningful descriptive words. And yes, masculine gets equated with manly because there's a hyper-masculinity men can achieve that women pretty much never achieve. I don't have a problem with "less manly". Put me next to a steroid taking guido and I'm less manly, but I don't feel the need to be a caricature of a man. But while being less manly I can be more of a man than he is. If I'm harder working, smarter, more responsible, I can be more of a man - and none of those things have to do with being manly... And I never got called a sissy. I was called 'gay', but in hindsight they were right...

If you use the phrase 'less manly' instead of 'less of a man' (which is what the people who are saying that mean) then yes, bottoms do tend to be less manly. But it's a bit like women - there are some women that are more masculine than some men. But on average I'd say tops tend to be more manly, and bottoms less manly. But again, that depends on the individual. I've met masculine bottoms and presumably there are feminine tops out there too...

This is a really great topic. Thanks for starting it. I've stickied the thread to encourage discussion... Gay men have SO many hangups when it comes to sex and their bodies. It's part of the reason why I think this site is important - to let guys discuss and process their inhibitions. For me, when I was growing up I felt like I lived in a shell. My family was fundamentalist christian so discussing topics of sex was pretty much forbidden (unless the "Brother Falwell" was telling the congregation how awful homosexuals were). Talking to other people about my feelings just wasn't an option. When I came out the 1st person I told I was gay (still a friend today) told me to get into a gay mens therapy group at the University. I went and I remember sitting in the room the first semester unable to put my emotions and feelings into words. I literally didn't have the vocabulary. It was the beginning of a process where I faced my feels and learned to process them in a meaningful way. The social structure of shame that I was taught as kid actually started to fall away before I came out. A college roommate made the comment to me, "when I look into the stars the god I see is bigger than the god of the bible" (he was an astronomy major). Growing up I was told man was made in god's image, but what I realized was man had made god in man's image. It was a radical thought and hit at the core of my belief system. I was on the board of one of my Universities well-known christian organizations, but within a few months of that conversation I had resigned from the board and rejected christianity. (It wasn't a good semester for the organization - the same semester the president resigned and became a black muslim). A few months after that I was told (wrongly) that I had a brain tumor, which made me further examine my life. And then about a year after the conversation with that roommate I came out as gay. Because shame had played such a major role in my fundamentalist upbringing (church 3 times a week plus I went to a hardcore Calvinist Baptist school), when I rejected christianity I started looking at how it managed to control me in the past. I saw that shame and fear were major tools in their arsenal. That made me hate shame and fear - even to this day I just don't tolerate it. When I see it I confront it. So my experience isn't exactly like yours but I get where you're coming from. One thing that might help is actively being more selfish. Have you read "The Foutainhead" and "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand? They're seminal works that have shaped the world we lived in (Alan Greenspan was one of the people who would come over to her apartment every week to hear her read her latest chapter of "Atlas Shrugged"). She is the most eloquent spokesperson for selfishness. But if you find yourself going full-steam ahead with her philosophy read the biography of her which shows the flaws in her way of life (no room for children, etc.) The point is - if you're more selfish, you have the ability to stand up for yourself and confront people who would want to use shame to put you in your place.

This is the fiction section - phone numbers and the like wouldn't be appropriate. In the Sex With Enhancements section they're allowed. Email addresses are allowed wherever. I recommend you put them in your signature - it will let you remove them everywhere all at once.

OK, I've started looking into it and the videos on the site need to be legal in the US. For the most part we're talking about complying with "The Miller Test" which (sorta) defines the line between obscenity (which is illegal) and what's legal. In practice that means scat videos are out unless you can find a way to make them genuinely artistic, political or scientific... In other cases where there's extreme role play - like hardcore BDSM or stuff like race play or simulated rape, you need to make sure the bottom/"victim" in those scenes makes it very clear that it's just role play and he's good with it. And as far as drug use on video - among other things, it's sorta dumb to capture illegal activity on film and then post it publicly. But looking at the Miller Test, if you're shooting up or smoking and there's no genital nudity then it would fail the first prong of the test and not be obscene. Personally I see sex as a political act. We have the right to do with our bodies as we see fit - just as much as a woman has the right to have an abortion. But the question is not whether we think our sex is a political statement, but whether the average person would see it as a political statement. I know I'm a lot more liberal than the average American, so some of what I'm OK with personally won't be allowed on the tube site. I realize that doesn't clarify a lot - but that's sorta the nature of the law in the US - our law is literally based on "I know it when I see it" (a quote from a Supreme Court justice).

I personally find scat completely disgusting, but even though I feel that way I would allow them. HOWEVER - I need to check on their legality. Scat is often considered obscene (fucking is not 'obscene' because it has 'artistic merit'). Let me check on the legalities of scat and get back to you with an answer...

Please do not patronize Mr. S / Fetters. They are rather rabidly anti-bareback. There are other bareback-friendly places to buy things. The Leatherman in NYC is one option...

I've worn cock rings for YEARS, recently I couldn't find my cockring and there was a piece of rawhide string laying there - so I tied it so it was just barely snug when I was soft. It's worked better than any cockring - and it's almost zero cost...

My theory is... If you're a bottom by nature, you're clearly not straight - women just don't have the equipment to satisfy you. But for someone who's a top by nature, it's easier to take the easy route and be straight. To a point a hole is a hole - and women give tops more holes to fuck. You've gotta really be into masculinity to take the hard road and be gay when you're a top.

Let's see... You move to a new city and fuck the guys bareback and suddenly there's an outbreak of syphilis... Coincidence? lol

The studies say the risk for tops is about 7 times less than for bottoms. The PDF of the study is here on the site.

Catching HIV early isn't all that scary - you're much more in control of what happens and how it turns out. What is scary is letting HIV progress to the point where it's too late, damage is done, and the meds can't help all that much. The people who die of AIDS these days are more often than not people who didn't get tested and waited too long to take meds. GET TESTED!!

Well, if you'd go for dark blond / light brown, then I'd fuck you

Barebacking, fisting, watersports, BDSM, etc. - everything but condoms. The only solo stuff that will be allowed on is personal videos of you guys - or truly remarkable videos of other guys (crazy huge dicks, etc.)

I'm pretty far overdue... I had to go look up the date - I couldn't remember when I was last tested. Looks like it was March 2011 - so 15-16 months ago.

I've probably fucked hundreds of holes bareback, and I still test neg. It's not as safe as "safe sex" - but there's a risk of becoming poz even if you rubber up. You just have to figure out how much risk makes sense for you. Just give in and cum when your dick wants to cum. Then keep going - the 2nd load will take more time.

The tube script I'm using is iPhone/iPad friendly.

Depends on how aware and in control the guys in the video seem to be.

Just to clarify on poz talk... As long as things are consensual, I'm good with it. Rape is not OK - if there's a rape scene there needs to be a portion of the video with the bottom saying (clearly) it was all good fun and part of the scene. Sex with clearly drugged bottoms is also a big problem area. This tube site will not be a paysite, so I'm not limited by Visa's decency rules - which are stricter than what's legally allowed. Later I'll be starting a paysite with some stuff I've filmed - but that's later...

Absolutely.

On the verbal part... I'm always afraid I'll sound like a retard if I'm verbal - I mean I'm concentrating on the fuck, not on what I'm saying. I tend to think in concepts, so if I say what I'm thinking it may be rather unintelligible. Then there's the issue of scaring the bottom. I go to rather extreme places in my mind when I'm fucking someone. It's fantasy, but if I say what I'm thinking it may freak out the guy I'm fucking. Aggressive? I'm more assertive + demanding. Dominant? Absolutely. Confident? I usually am. When I'm not, I at least pretend to be confident...

I'm "above average" and I hate the "how hung" question too... There are times when I feel like saying "look at the picture - it's clearly big enough..." Smaller dick tops are under-appreciated though...

I'm working on launching a new tube site. It will be a mix of amateur videos (from you guys) and sponsor videos (4+ minutes - so not complete junk). When I did a survey a while back you guys said you wanted quantity over quality (but not complete junk), which is why I'm including the sponsor videos but making sure they're a decent length and bitrate that you can see something meaningful. So, start assembling your videos. If you have videos to upload and want to be one of the beta testers and get access to the site sooner than everyone else, contact me or reply to this thread. Please realize there will be zero tolerance for piracy. You're only allowed to upload amateur videos - preferably ones that feature you. Those of you who download from file sharing sites - those aren't the videos you should upload. Instead we want to feature videos of you guys... And just so you know - your username and password here will be your username and password on the tube site even though they're technically separate sites. However, you'll have to login to each separately. I'll let you guys upload HD videos, but need to work out who can see videos in HD.

That chat was badly broken to the point people were (rightly) bitching about it. It's off the nav bar for now. There were two parts to the chat software - the front end (AVChat) and the backend (Wowza). I've upgraded Wowza to a newer version. I'm about to launch a tube site that has a chat feature - I'm not sure how good the chat is in the tube site software. If it's good, I'll use it, otherwise I'll try to revive AVChat. So the old chat is gone for now. I've got plans for a new chat, but if it doesn't work out I'll revive the old chat and try to get it working.

Yellow link text is another item I'll bring back in a day or so...