bluedragon

just a sec...

Well, I'm a vers top white guy and my favourite thing to do with a black guy is fuck him - especially if he is built, muscular and darker skinned. So, what can I say.... we're out there. I do recognise that all non-white guys have to deal with a lot of baggage though, which really sucks. Last trip I made to London I had two different black guys on the apps make it clear that they wouldn't meet unless they got to bottom or we flipped, which was more than fine with me, but it must be a negotiation they have to have quite a lot.

Do you guys think that bugchasing is on the increase/becoming more open and vocal? I naively thought prep would kill it off. Seems not. @NWUSHorny @ErosWired

The OP, from 2015, lays out exactly why Prep is the solution to the problem of staying safe from HIV infection for guys who want to bareback (with whomever). Look at him tying himself in knots as he questions potential partners and then agonises over their language choices and whether he could be confident they were telling the full truth. He relies on stereotypes about his potential partners too as he does this. Not surprising he cockblocked himself so many times by asking too many awkward questions and then challenging the responses if he wasn't convinced. A prep user takes responsibility for their health into their own hands. There is no longer any need to rely on partners telling the truth about themselves, or to try and work out whether they are a high-risk or low-risk group for HIV transmission (transwomen are a high-risk group). A man who has casual sex with cisgender women is in a lower-risk group, but I could understand why such a person might prefer to, and might feel safer being on Prep. In the UK, due to the relatively lower risk these men wouldn't be given free prep but it is reasonably simple to purchase from abroad (see iwantprepnow.co.uk, but be sure to consult a doctor at a sexual health clinic first just so that a routine test of kidney function can be made).

Lol, by far the most popular answer is 'the load, as a bottom'. What a shock. Aaaaaaaaaand this is why I sometimes end up faking it now 😉

Logic rarely comes into sex. Look at all the bugchasers on this forum. People can get very, very rigid ideas about what they like and don't like, and about the categories other guys fall into. If you have it in your head that bottoming is feminine, and topping is masculine, and you only like masculine men, so you can't fuck any bottom or vers men, logical arguments will find that difficult to shift. In particular we live in a culture which projects a lot of sexual baggage onto black men, which becomes a reason either to fetishise or to reject them. In particular, a lot of the Black porn I've seen seems to revolve around a particular 'thug' masculine top stereotype. When I encounter and fuck black men in real life, I top more often than I bottom, since that's my preference, just like for other kinds of men I meet. I often find the black guys are especially fun because they can get quite enthusiastic about bottoming. It seems that every other white guy they encounter demands they top because they're expecting some version of the 'Thug' top, so when they get the chance to switch things up and bottom for me they are often quite eager to do it 😉

Sorry to be a bit off-topic, but really, guys rarely fuck raw in Detroit? That surprises me, because I live in a fairly small European city (Dublin) and yet condoms have more or less vanished here, at least amongst the guys I hook up with. I'd have thought PreP would be more established in a major US city, though I get there might be issues with access and medical insurance: do you think that's the reason for barebacking being rare?

I'm lucky enough to be able to be attracted to pretty much all ethnicities and races: hot guys come in many forms, and I've probably had sex with someone from most of the world's diverse peoples except maybe the Inuit. That doesn't mean I like them all equally: I have many types but if you come from around the Mediterranean basin (Spain, Italy, Turkey, North Africa) you definitely catch my attention, and so too do nicely mixed-heritage guys from places like Brazil. After that, I like both blond viking types and very dark West African types, and I spent a full year in Beijing during which I pretty much only fucked Chinese. Having said that, I don't believe people necessarily should be demonised for having and stating a racial/ethnic preference, depending on how they do it (we could all let other guys down more gently). I do think that we all have a responsibility to think hard and seriously, if only to ourselves, about why we have the preferences we do, and to what extent they could be shaped by racial or other prejudices. To some extent I've done that myself with regard to feminine guys. @Blkmuscbreeder makes a fair point that perhaps it's better for people like this to label themselves so others can more efficiently avoid them. This discussion also needs nuance. When someone has told me that they are not interested in meeting black guys, this has usually come from... other black guys. I've often felt sorry for guys like that - does this come from living in a racist society, is this internalised? - but I have usually not pushed them to discuss or explain it, in case it drags up some uncomfortable/difficult feelings and ruins the sex I'm trying to arrange. I'd be really interested in hearing someone like that explain why though. I am whiter than spilt milk, the driven snow, and Karen Pence - I don't even tan - so perhaps I attract guys like this who prize whiteness. Some of them clearly get into race-based dom/sub kink. People also adjust their preferences according to where they live: in a majority-white city, you won't generally see people say 'Asians only', rather 'Asians to the front' but when I lived in Beijing I did come across some white guys who only wanted Chinese and had no interest in their own race. Final thought: I do sometimes wonder about the culture that hookup apps, especially Grindr, are creating amongst gay men. I feel like it's much more common now to dismiss someone out of hand if they aren't perfectly your type: just like it's part of the culture now to constantly block profiles on the apps to make room for new ones that you might like better. Not surprising that these apps are supposedly having such a bad impact on our mental health.

TBH the issue is I'm kind of a pleaser, I get off on making the guy get off - if the guy is a bugchaser (which I think chances are he is if he asks that question after sex these days) i don't want to walk away with the memory of his disappointed expression in my head, it'll ruin the nice memories of the sex (the most recent guy in question was a hot tattooed muscle slut I railed in a sling). I've never done this before but I could maybe lie up to a point and pretend to be Poz: I mean, if the guy just wanted to say things like 'charge me up' and 'give me that dirty load' I could go along with it. If he wanted me to describe how few T-cells I had and how the virus was rampaging through my body right at that minute that would very much knock me right out of the mood however. I remember one other time with a former fuckbuddy I decided to tell him false information about myself in response to a question he asked (not HIV-related) because I knew it was what he wanted to hear. This turned out to be a very bad move as he returned to the topic and wanted to know all sorts of very excruciating details that I just wasn't willing to invent. Some, maybe most people can be very, very fixated on their fetishes.

Well, 18-45ish, to be honest I'm probably upping that to 18-50ish before my hoped for big slut summer this summer. I have had guys in their 50s at parties (I deliberately push my boundaries at those kind of events, because I think you should in order to make the event go better) - but I'm vers top and I never really got off on the idea of being a 'son' in 'dad-son' even in my twenties. So ideally I'd like to fuck the younger guys, but I'm not sure I quite make a convincing daddy at 40 years old. Maybe I can be a kind of older bro type whom the daddies are training up 😉 Funnily enough, a couple of years ago I met a young lad of 21 on BBRT (unusually young age for that site) and fucked him (I was 37). He was the first person ever to call me 'daddy' during sex. I was appalled for a fraction of a second, then did the math and had to concede he was on firm enough ground, and it ended up being kind of hot 😉

Just FYI (and sorry mods if this gives too much away, please delete if so), I have made 41 posts, my rank is now 'Participant' (5/14) and I can now make more than the 3 basic posts per day. I have also started a couple of topics and made some quite long posts so I think that counts as well as the raw numbers, but at least that shows that you don't need to make hundreds and hundreds of contributions.

Sometimes when I have fucked a guy and come inside him, he asks me my status afterwards. I have answered honestly, Neg + Prep, and the guys generally seem disappointed. I've actually considered lying and saying I'm poz just to get them off. I wouldn't want to get too far into 'Poz talk' though. I also thought about saying 'I never answer that question' just to let him fill in the blanks as he likes.... What do you guys think?

I'll start by saying I'm not a bugchaser and am not turned on by the thought of becoming poz. I am currently Neg + Prep. I've always thought it made sense to assume that every guy I have sex with is poz. It's a bad idea to go down the route of trying to work out someone's status, either based on what they say (everyone lies about something) or my rapid assessment of their demographic: far too many people have been badly burned doing that. So, when I used condoms, I used them with everyone except for a few poor choices and slip ups. Now that I'm on Prep, I don't ask status: it wouldn't change what I do. When I first started on Prep, I took some time to think to myself about how this was going to change my behaviour. Would I let guys come in my ass? What about guys I knew to be Poz? I became comfortable with the idea quite quickly, and actually let a Poz + undetectable guy come inside me shortly after starting Prep (it wasnt entirely planned because I'm more of a top and only bottomed on the spur of the moment, but what happened didn't bother me). Reading the posts in this thread has been interesting because it helps me understand the 'chaser mentality'. I'm particularly interested in the fact that some guys enjoy the thought of being poz or the thought of fucking poz guys because it makes them feel sexually free and liberated. For me, I get the same feeling: but from being on prep. It's a miracle drug that has freed me to have the sex I want while staying HIV-neg). I'm happy to fuck poz guys but don't actively prefer them. The only thing that puts me off is seeing profiles which talk about trying to accumulate strains of HIV or collect STDs. There are quite a few here, though not really on other sites and apps I'm on. I'm not sure I'd fuck someone like that, I'd prefer someone who tries to look after their health, as I think most Poz guys do.

I'd be interested in a view from the ground of this weekend's Presidential election. Specifically: though I don't think Le Pen can win, how successful has she been in decontaminating herself and burying the memory of her father? What are the left-wing voters saying? And here's my relevant sexual take since this is a sex forum: given the circumstances of he and his wife's relationship, Emmanuel Macron could not be elected in any Western country except France (not because of the age gap, but since the relationship began when he was only 15 and she was his teacher). Any truth to the rumours of him being bi?

Out of interest, how old is old and how young is young?? 🙂 I'm 40 and I feel like I kind of fall between two stools now 😉

Not exactly red flags, because if I'm attracted I'll still probably fuck you anyway, but from this vers top guy's perspective here are some tips to suck less in bed: 1. Don't start begging me for my load only 2 minutes after I put my dick in you. OK bottoms, I know some of you have a huge fixation on semen, but one thing that is guaranteed to make me not come is if I start feeling real pressure to come now. In fact, it can take me quite a bit of time to come, and sometimes it only happens after I've had one or two other guys. Yes, I know that might be disappointing to some who want a load from every guy they fuck, but try and look on the good side. I enjoy the fuck whether we both come or not. I'd rather have five or six guys and come at the end than two guys and come in both of them. Never thought I would do this before I started fucking BB but I've even faked it with a few guys just to shut them up. 2. Don't just lie there. OK, a lot of guys have hangups about male-male intimacy, but if you come into my home, take off all your clothes, get on all fours and wait for me to put my bare dick inside you, we're already pretty intimate. Kissing helps set the mood, no harm in a bit of foreplay, and when you're getting fucked, being a little bit responsive and letting me know how good it feels makes me a better top. Reaching behind you to pull me deeper into you is very nice. This does not mean 'top from the bottom' which can easily also become annoying. Good bottoming is a skill just like topping is. 3. Most importantly, don't confuse sexual position with a personality trait. Topping and bottoming are both different ways of having sex with men, and believe it or not, one isn't more gay than another or less macho than the other. 'Fun' story, I put together a three at one time between one guy who was a regular fuckbuddy and another guy I had just met. The regular fuckbuddy had to leave halfway through because he got so upset at seeing me get fucked by the third. Turns out I had only ever topped him and he had built up this fantasy in his head of the strict top who never got fucked and couldn't deal with this not being reality. Please use logic here and don't allow your brain to become fixated on very rigid received ideas. If you absolutely want to do only topping or only bottoming yourself, fine, I lean more to the top side myself, but at least allow yourself to consider the fact that sometimes the best sessions involve a lot of flipping and two guys exploring each other in lots of different ways. But yeah, if you are hot enough, you can do all of these things and I'll still fuck you, but you are definitely not making it onto the list of my most memorable meets.

hahahah never heard of the bluedragon dildo, I just named myself after my tattoo. Well, that's important to know...!

Thanks - I'm not really a submissive tho. I'm somewhat interested in it too, but I'm not sure how much pain I would want to take. I've been fairly vanilla up to now, apart from some light stuff (verbal, spit, did a little bit of flogging/hitting with keys) generally because I usually just meet up with guys in random hookups and it seems like kink needs to be more planned./looked out for on specialist websites. There's an FB group for kinky guys in Dublin anyway, which I have joined, and I'm also moving to London for the summer! Yes - that was grim. It' s being treated as a hate crime because of the amount of violence inflicted on the body of at least one victim I think. Very much not something that ever happens in Sligo. I'm not sure this was a kink situation gone wrong. One of the victims was an organiser in the political party of the Tanaiste (Deputy PM), Leo Varadkar, who is himself gay and gave a quote about it on the news.

Hi, hope this is the right forum for this. I'm very much not a bugchaser myself, but I'm interested in trying to understand the phenomenon and how intense it appears to be for some people including many on this site. It's interesting to see a very clear link between sexual arousal and trauma: not just with the possibility of contracting HIV, but with people who want to be slaves, to be humiliated, physically hurt, or treated poorly in some other way. So, I wondered whether during the most intense days of lockdown we would start seeing 'COVID bugchasers' as humanity's dark and strange psyche adapted to yet another traumatic stimulant. As it happened, I did see one guy on one of the apps who appeared to be wanting to find someone to give him COVID, but he was the only one. I actually expected to see more. Did anyone else run across a COVID bugchaser? Or, for those who remember the days before HIV, did you ever encounter 'chasers' for the other STDs?

Thanks for the advice. I think what would work best for me is for someone patient and sympathetic to work with me as a learner, but that might be hard to do while still keeping that sub mentality. Maybe a more senior dom would take me on as a junior partner ;_

Yeah, tops do seem to be better at sharing. But I've learned that trying to put together threes or small groups takes a lot of effort and co-ordination and often just dies on its arse for some reason you didn't think of, so I don't bother, and I definitely am not going to be your appointments secretary.

Just joined Recon. Anyone have much success on it? I'm interested in kink, as a dom at least to start off with, but i feel like there's an expectation that all doms will know it all and will be able to create the perfect scene for the sub easily....

Dublin, Ireland but planning a summer in London Neg + Prep and love to bareback starting to explore kink more chilled vers top but trying to train myself to be a better bottom. Keen to actually hook up with fit, cool lads for long intense sessions: flipping, groups, exploring each other, also enjoy the post-sex conversation too 😛

"Can you bring some other tops with you" always gets firmly shut down.

Grindr sometimes works, but you have to wade through so many fake pics, attention seekers, and timewasters. I don't think the design of the app is good, it also promotes just blocking people ASAP if they aren't 100% what you are looking for which is why I think it has been found to have such a bad effect on so many guys' mental health. Scruff I have had very limited interactions on, seems mostly dead round here. BBRT is the best site in my view for guys who are up for it (and who are into bareback obviously) but it only works in big cities. It's a paradise in London., but very slim pickings here in Dublin sadly....