bearbandit

A wholefood diet with lots of fibre. As little fat as possible (George Foreskin had the right idea with his grills). Pig out on miwsli or nut roast the night before and take a couple of imodium before going to bed (imodium increases the absorption of liquid from shit). Above all, know how long it takes you to process food - easily checked by eating a small can of sweetcorn and watching for the indigestible husks appearing in the toilet bowl. What you eat the next day depends on your digestive interval - always allow an extra hour. A quick douche after that and you're ready to go (well, I am)...

I recently got fucked by a guy who had at least ten inches. 6'6" tall and built to match. I could just about get his soft dick in my mouth without my gag reflex kicking in. First time I've ever had someone get past the second sphincter with his dick rather than a dildo. A very talented fucker: the length of his dick was in proportion to its girth, and despite my having a tight ass (well, tight enough for him to remark on it) I had no difficulty in taking the entire length - greed is a wonderful thing! For me the only downside was that condoms were compulsory. Even so, I stopped noticing the irritation of the rubber after a few minutes...

I'd stay poor... Nothing to do with misogyny (as the cliche has it my best mate is a woman - when she gets married later this year I'll be standing in for her late father and giving her away). It's just not right...

Flumphernutter and Jizz, I agree with you both. I have no problem with people chasing, I just want to be sure that they know all the facts, some of which are pretty unpleasant. If a guy wants HIV that's his choice, but I think he needs to know the possibilities. I was 23 when I got pozzed: at 57 I have a whole raft of complications from it. Including ED which if I'd had it when I was 23 would have kept me away from the whole thing. I can understand the idea of leaving the fear behind - in my own way I was chasing in the early eighties, except by then it was too late: I'd already got it. The one thing my mother said that I ever agreed with was "outside of war we've never seen so many young men die". I wish I still knew half the things I knew for sure at 23 ;-) Personally I'm just glad that I had at least a framework of manners in me by that age, even if I knew fuck all!

I wish I had known as much as you obviously do when I was your age. At least I know I had more manners.

Which is why we've given you more anecdotal (ie true life) evidence than you would find anywhere else as well as statistical evidence. This isn't a scientific board: you had a motivation for coming here rather than looking up purely informational boards. I think you're looking for emotional validation for your decision, which I, personally, am not going to give you as in my opinion you're not yet capable of understanding the ramifications and consequences of your decision. I tried to give you a few but obviously I was pissing into the wind. There are who knows how many guys on this site with an awful lot of experience, and yes, I've asked for advice here myself, which has been given generously and received gratefully. You've been given advice generously, but as to the gratitude from you, all I see is a determination to receive approval for a decision you've already made. Just promise me that you won't turn into one of those chasers who plagues HIV support boards saying "I was so stupid" - Yes, I do a lot of work on support boards too...

The hard line is if you don't want to risk getting HIV, the only sure way is never to have sex with anyone. PrEP has the occasional failure, condoms fail somewhat more often and monogamous negative partners may well cheat on you. If you really really don't want HIV, make your wanking hand your lover. Of course if you're that nervy about risk, you'll need someone to plug electrical devices into the wall for you, and don't ever cross a road...

Get pozzed in your early twenties and your life expectancy is liable to be the same as other men of your age, possibly a little longer because poz guys get better medical attention than than the general population because the drugs aren't perfect. I hit lucky: I seroconverted in 1980 and I'm still here, but at the cost of damage done by many experimental therapies that focussed entirely on HIV... I'm the exception that proves the rule. 1998: "might cause diabetes?" I'll deal with that if and when it happens. It happened and it's more likely to kill me than HIV. 2011: Started tenofovir treatment. Ended up with severe kidney damage and osteopenia, the latter precluding my safety on a bike, difficult for a biker... Oh, and I came within days of death with that one. The damage is such that I'll never recover from it, so be nice to older guys in your local leather bar who need walking sticks... That's just the major drug events. As late as 2008 I had cryptosporidiosis: constant 24 hour infectious diarrhoea for five weeks. I actually needed a new bathroom after that one. And I know it's a cliche, but you could get run over and fatally injured this afternoon. Life expectancy is statistical guesswork. For all the pozzing stories (and I can assure you that mine are fantasy) there's a wild mix of fact and fiction here, the common thread being piggy sex. My entire adult life (I was 23 when I seroconverted and working for a gay helpline, and am now living alone at almost 57 -that's a hint, guys) has been taken up with HIV. Bareback all you like, but do the best you can to minimise the risks: access to PrEP? Take it! A 17 year life expectancy without meds is optimistic to say the least: my first husband couldn't have caught it before 1983, yet he died in 1992. Yes, treatment for opportunistic infections have improved since then, but illness isn't about lying back on a couch looking pale and interesting like Camille as she died of "consumption": it's about knowing how to sit on the toilet (if you can get there) and still have your head over the washbasin so you're free to puke... it's about working out where you can grab onto to make a fall safer, It's having a stranger clean your shit up and wipe your ass. Read the posts here more carefully: yes there's a strong fetish HIV in a lot of them, but I enjoy murder mysteries and manage not to go out knifing people. Learn the distinction between fantasy and fact.

In the eighties HIV+ guys were excluded from being airline pilots because memory loss and dementia were such a big factor of HIV disease at the time, but when you consider that the UK has (admittedly only recently) said that it's not excluding people with HIV from any nursing or surgery jobs, it seems pretty unlikely that aircraft engineers would fall under the "no" category. I have to point out though that under the 2010 Equality Act in the UK, HIV counts as a disability and you can't be excluded or fired simply on the grounds of having HIV, even though you might not actually be registered as disabled.

A quarterly blood work-up is essential with Truvada: if the tenofovir component decides to go for the kidneys it can be fast and vicious, the main reason I was against PrEP when it was first introduced in 2012 (see my posts from July 2012 onwards and you'll see me slowly change my mind), though it does seem that tenofovir is kinder on HIV- kidneys. PrEP and TasP are still, in my opinion, the best defences we've got, but PrEP is still too new to be trusted to behave itself without regular monitoring.

Just checked at the PROUD study and it's England only, I'm afraid: in an earlier post I said Scotland too, but was wrong :-( The "National" Health Service underwent a re-organisation recently which means that the four constituent nations of the UK (yes, I'm aware that Wales is a Principality, not a nation!), and each works slightly differently, the aim being, as far as I can see to give England more money for its version of the NHS. Firefighter, you don't specify which Ireland you live in, so I checked both Northern Ireland and Eire, and all I came up with was preparatory schools. If the reforms are like the situation between England and Wales, you very likely won't be able to get onto the PrEP trial without an English address: when prescription charges were abolished in Wales you had to have a Welsh address, a Welsh GP and a Welsh pharmacist. As I understand it the English have adopted our failing system of having the counties act as health authorities. All I can suggest is that you contact the organisers directly (and let us know how you get on).

We know in the UK from anonymised testing (where a little blood is syphoned off into an unlabelled test tube, separated from its "partner" and then tested that there are almost 100,000 of us in the UK living with HIV, but only about 75,000 actually know that they have HIV. So somewhere on these islands are 25,000 people with HIV receiving no treatment, whose immune systems are degrading and who are becoming more and more infectious. I was lucky to get through the drugless eighties. My partner who was diagnosed late because his employers didn't have the right policies in place (he was sprayed with blood from a guy who'd hit an artery when injecting), was finally diagnosed as he was getting sick and spent four years of misery as his body crapped out on him. Quite apart from the fact that guys who don't test regularly are more likely to HIV than average, there's also the chance that they're not looking after other aspects of their sexual health. How difficult is it to give a bit of blood, piss in a pot, have a throat and an anal swab taken every three months or so?

About 10% of undetectable guys have detectable virus in their semen. There have been no studies that I know of comparing levels of virus in blood and semen, but it's only logical to assume that levels in the semen undetectable guys is pretty low, otherwise we'd be seeing a lot more infections. Interesting to note that integrase inhibitors (raltegravir and dolutegravir reach the parts other antivirals don't reach. I can't speak for dolutegravir, never having taken it, but raltegravir has a low side-effect profile and is effective at lowering the viral load quickly. Since it's got a better than average penetration rate, it's not unreasonable to think that guys on raltegravir would have a lower than average viral load in their semen. Since viral load testing became routine, I had my first zero viral load (number, not euphemism: they literally couldn't find a viral particle in my blood). I've been taking it for eighteen months now and the only disadvantage it has is that it's a twice a day pill: no matter, I take it with my diabetes meds. I sure as hell know when I've missed taking them... However, in the long run, PrEP would be a good idea if it's available to you. If you're in the UK Google PROUD Study truvada for details. They've recruited 335 guys and want 500. Eight testing sites around England and Scotland (but alas none in Wales or N Ireland).

I'd seriously recommend the PROUD study which is still recruiting about 160 places left: http://www.proud.mrc.ac.uk/ It's the only way to get PrEP in the UK, and the American experience has, I think, more than proved it to be viable. Were I still HIV- I'd be on it. Yes, it involves clinic visits and that sort of inconvenience, but there is a testing centre in Birmingham. One, you'd be protecting yourself, and two, you'd be helping shape the future of HIV prevention in the UK. Please give it serious thought.

Years ago I was seeing a guy whose dick had just the right curve to hit my bladder full on when he fucked me. Yeah, each spurt of piss forced out like that is an orgasm in itself. Even better when he took the time out to lick it up himself...

The medics read the papers, understand the science behind the drugs, but don't live with the results. We do. I have a friend who's now a health trainer - all his medical training he's done off his own bat - and frankly, I'd trust his take over that of my consultant any day. He started out as a personal trainer, become ill with HIV five years ago, and tells his doctors what to prescribe. A lot of the charity work I do is unravelling the confusion doctors cause in their patients' minds, presumably because "we wouldn't understand". One thing I'd take issue with is rawTOP's statement of 18 years - the protease inhibitors that were introduced then, as much of a breakthrough they were, were usually prescribed in harmful overdose and though still alive, thanks to the drugs, a number of us are living with the permanent side effects of those drugs. I'm afraid that the side effect issue is one we're going to have to live with for the foreseeable future as each new drug is brought to market, which is why it's so important to talk prescribed drugs with other PwHIVs...

I've always had a fetish about another guy's/guys' cum over my dick and balls so fucking a well-used hole... WOOF!

Hell no! For me, sucking is foreplay or for when you're in a hurry. Sucking gets a bottom drawn in and needing your dick up his ass. Gives him time to think about what that dick would feel like up his ass. Having said that, I tend to be more oral when topping; cum to think of it my entire tastes change according to whether I'm topping or bottoming. If I'm topping I'm more likely to want to fist than fuck, if I'm bottoming I want that dick...

If you don't want HIV (and I'm aware that I'm assuming your daddy bear is positive which is not necessarily the case, get yourself to your nearest A&E and start by asking for PEP, rising to demand as appropriate. Don't take his word for it if he's says he's neg - about 25% of PwHIV in the UK don't know they have have it (blood is tested anonymously as a means of planning future services), Then think of your girlfriend: it's rare for a straight/gay marriage to work (unless it's for immigration purposes, and that reason is shrinking almost daily) and she deserves to know the truth so she can make her own mind up.

If a guy is undetectable, which at my hospital is reckoned at 70 copies per millilitre, then he's essentially shooting blanks. I know I must have pozzed some guys in the early eighties before we knew what we were up against, and as bad as I feel about that, there's nothing we can do to change that. We just didn't know. In the UK condoms are now reckoned to have prevented between 40% to 70% of potential infections ("what if" statistics are, by their nature, pretty vague) in the late eighties. On the other hand, you have someone like me, whose last viral load was zero, that's a number not a euphemism (I checked with three different professionals in the clinic the day they told me), a condom is going to protect you from the other STIs I tested negative for. The worst I could do would be to get you pregnant, but I guess you don't have the equipment for that. We're learning that Treatment as Protection (TasP) and Pre Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) are the new way forward. TasP relies on me taking my antivirals as prescribed and you trusting me when I say I do, while PrEP relies on you taking one pill a day. If a woman can take her daily pill to avoid pregnancy, surely you can take a daily pill to avoid HIV? Quite apart from being passion killers, condoms are unreliable - "official" statistics say their success rate is around 96%. In 1956 my mother decided she wanted a baby, while my father didn't. She took a sewing needle to the the condoms and here I am: a stealth baby. But returning from the rather icky topic of heterosexual condom (mis)use, does it not make more sense to rely on proven drugs than devices that are prone to failure? I'd agree that truvada isn't a perfect drug, but it's shown remarkable efficacy as a "proof of concept" drug. Similarly with TasP, the knowledge that I'm not infectious to others has made a huge difference to my well-being. Also of note is that integrase inhibitors, such as raltegravir (which I take) and dolutegravir (an ingredient in the four-in-one pill Stribild) seem to have the capability of getting HIV even in its hiding places: viral load in semen always seems to lag behind viral load on blood, but it looks like the integrase inhibitors are evening the score. Sorry to go on so much on the subject, but (a) it's a hobby horse in that I want to see fewer unwanted infections and ( quite apart from the joy on flesh to flesh sex, condoms are finally being proven not to be the best protection. Go get tested: if it's negative brilliant!, if it's positive hit the little fucker hard and fast.

I couldn't agree with rawTOP any more: most of us here want to prevent the spread of HIV and other STIs while enjoying natural sex. You want to help the "POZ cause" - go get yourself on PrEP, take your daily truvada and be meticulous about it, as well as attending your followup appointments every three months. We're beginning to see differences in how truvada is metabolised by HIV- and HIV+ men. Why? Your experiences with PrEP could form part of the jigsaw of the answer. (Vested interest here; I'm a long term survivor and one of the components of truvada nearly killed me eighteen months ago: I still haven't made a full recovery). If you're really so care-free about getting pozzed, at least do it in a manner that will help the guys who want to stay neg stay that way.

I like to talk before and afterwards: the first gives me a better idea of what he's after, while the latter gives me an idea of how it was for him. I always reckon on the first time being a shadow of what it could be: you need to know what he likes and the only way to find out is by trying and talking about it. Cum'n'go? I've got toys for that...

First time of meeting old (internet) friends, the one fucked me like there was no tomorrow while I sucked the other. Both came over my face. Then when the assfucker went to go piss I stopped him to drink his piss, that was when he decided they had a pig on their hands... Love those guys!

The other consideration is that he's not come to terms with being gay (personally I prefer faggot or queer - reclaiming language and all that shit) and he gets off on getting you hot'n'bothered and that's as far as he can go. Or he's just extremely shallow.

So don't take them seriously. For some guys all they need is a bit of a flirt online. Others really want to meet but get frightened at the last minute. I learned quite some time ago not to take the viagra (I have diabetes and its attendant problems and we're only "allowed" four shags a month) until he's crossed the threshold into my house. Basically, some guys are assholes. If you lived near me I could give you a list ;-)