bearbandit

Thank you for your sympathies guys, but let it lie there: I mentioned his death because (a) it's highly unusual to see guys with identical tattoos and ( he died in 1992, one amongst a hell of a lot of good men. Back to topic? Please?

5'7", 175/12.5 stone/80kg (185/13.5st/86kg when dressed for bike). Grower not shower. Not exactly huge: account for the number of notes left on my my bike in London "Sir, must take my place at your feet" "Sir, anyway you like..." "Please Sir <phone number> Your boy" Every number I checked out was genuine...

No, we're not, Johnjohn... (we've all met the sort of american who says "gee , you're from Wales.... What part of London is that?)

My kid broher's gay - absolutely no interest there. However I had several very happy years with a guy who resembled me so much that people used to think they were being clever is they asked if we were identical or "merely" fraternal twins. Shame I don't have a scanner at present: there are some photos where I have to look at what each is wearing to figure out who's who (A problem the tattoos solved, but he died by then....)

Huwie, Dewie and Louie, presumably... ;-)

Instead of bouncing on your office chair, try riding a motorbike... much more intense ;-)

The kids are old enough to cope with a quiet divorce: I was 12, my brother 9 the first time our parents split up. There followed 4 years of grief as they tried to hold it together "for the kids". In the end, when our father finally left, we couldn't wait to see the back of him and deeply resented "access days". Just a piece of anecdotal evidence....

"For every sex act you can think of somewhere, somewhere is enjoying it thing it's the hottest thing ever. Someone else is totally revolted predicting the end of civilisation for permitting it. And someone is else is pissing themselves laughing because it's the funniest thiing they've ever hears"... At the end of the road just accept...

I have several friends who swear by "Nu-Fill" (maybe a different name in the USA?) which, as far as I can gather is a sort of artificial collagen. It's a lengthy procedure involving a number of visits, but can make signicant changes in your appearance. I also know someone who tried Nu-Fill for whom it didn't work: (please let him not be reading this!) he has random lumps of the filler across his face and looks as though he has some sort of beneath-the-surface dermatitis. I've got a degree of facial wasting that I don't let bother me. The thing that does bother me is lipodystrophy where the fat migrates from the limbs to the belly and shoulder (and bust in women: it's delighted one friend "women pay to have a bust like mine and I got it for free"). I was advised that it's practically impossible to shift the belly fat as it's visceral and the best way to hide it to do lots of upper body work - "the look you're going for is a rugby player who likes a pint", suits me fine ;-)

I can see a sort of parallel here with my situation: I have diabetes which has already done a pretty good job of wrecking the nerves that deal with blood flow to the dick. Viagra etc react with the HIV drugs meaning that I'm only supposed to have a half dose every other day. For the first twelve hours it works, probably the most solid hard on I've ever had, but I can't come for the life of me whether I'm fucking or getting fucked. In that state I'm learning just to enjoy the journey and forget about the destination. About twelve hours later I wake up, and all I want is to fuck. Getting sucked doesn't do it, I've got to get inside someone's ass. Tried it with a PA and without: no difference. Just glad I can come some time...

Today's Aidsmap News carries a story that basically says being properly medicated is on a par with consistent condom use: http://www.aidsmap.com/UK-experts-successful-treatment-is-as-effective-as-consistent-condom-use-in-reducing-HIV-transmission/page/2565656/?utm_source=NAM-Email-Promotion&utm_medium=aidsmap-news&utm_campaign=aidsmap-news

Thanks Johnjohn - that's what I forgot to mention: I don't mind naturally smooth, but much prefer hairy. Cosmeticised holes go to the back of the queue!

Fuck it, I love rimming, to the extent that it could easily become the main event. But sooner one of us has to make the decision to break off in order to fuck: just better hope that he left enough spit up there... Then when it becomes felching one one side and rimming one the other, who can blame the other for unloading in that arse? Back to felching and the first guy to get it up again has the other's arse. Kinda cyclical... And the fact that the easiest way to double rim like this entails a lot of body contact is all to the good, makes it probably my favourite of the vanilla sex acts - even more so when guys don't expect such attention paid to their holes, or to pay so much attention to someone else's hole. And should you need a break from getting your tongue in there, the cock's pretty conveniently placed...

I suppose it could provide a bit of heat therapy in an emergency if you have arthritis in your toes (not comfortable)... But I'd still prefer a bowl of hot water.

Cryptosporidiosis (caused by the bug that's so small it can get through water company filters in the reservoir and leads to grave warnings on the news to boil all water) is another unaffected by antibiotics. It's endemic in areas used for grazing land (lke where I used to live). As above it causes explosive diarrhoea day AND night and kills by depletion of minerals and dehydration. Someone with an average immune system might flush it out in three or four days. With a compromised immune system it's a killer: it took me over five weeks to get rid of it and now I don't care how cute the lambs are, I will not help out at lambing time!

Okay, I'm in my mid fifties and came out in my late teens, so my first experiences of sex were bare. In the late eighties/early nineties with two different boyfriends, all of us diagnosed positive, there didn't seem to be much point in going the condom route (in fact the other two died with a month of eath other), and even in the mid nineties, still the same feeling: might as well enjoy it while we can. We never called it breeding before, so despite the amount of cum I've had up my arse (or left up another's) this is my first breeding experience. The year before last I find myself living alone in a small Welsh village (my eighty year old neighbour has already joked that I should hang a red light outside of my front door, but she used to be a chambermaid in a hotel and was considered somewhat "racy"). I got talking on another board to a guy who reckoned he was a total top and ended up fascinated by him. He was looking for a 24/7 relationship and it was on that basis that he visited. I was to open the door to him wearing only a jockstrap (great - my front door overlooked the village green) and when I was ready I was to offer him my balls. A fairly standard start I thought until I opened the door to what could have been the father of the guy I 'd been talking to. Still horny, but without that slightly psycho edge I like in a top. All fairly standard SM stuff (he'd noticed that facial shaving was an incredible threat to use - I'd do practically anything rather than lose my 'tache) except that when he fucked me I could tell it was raw. And fuck, did I want it... Afterwards we lay on my bed where he informed me of what he expected of me as his boy: I could maintain friendships, but under no circumstances was I allowed to play with anyone but him, not even wank, if he told me he was visiting I should clear all appointments, similarly if I was sent for I should get on my bike five minutes ago. And I had to change my profile on the board where we met to say that I had entered into an ownership contract with him: Guys should contact him rather than me if they were interested. Before he left he had me kneel at the edge of the bed, facing the bed. An arm around my neck and he put me out (only the second time that had happened and I had mixed feelings about the first time as it was done as a joke). Apparently I was crying as I came to... He left, with me giving the local schoolkids a bit of a surprise (but I had put my jock back on). After he'd gone I made the alterations he'd required to my profile page and eventually he phoned me to say he was home. I know me: in that time and space I could have lived by his rules, but I've also got that opportunistic streak that I guess most of us here have. I tried to negotiate a loosening of his rules, but he wasn't having it. I told him in that case, it just doesn't happen because I can't accept such strict control from that distance. He hung up and my profile reverted to its previous state. One of the advantages of versatility is, I find, that I measure a potential Master's rules against the rules I'd expect my boy (if I had one) to live by. Of course I could have screwed around to my heart's content, but I'm compulsive about telling the truth. I wasn't going to let him down like that. So, more a psychological account than a jizz-spurtin one. I stuck to the rules in that it was the first time I was bred, simply because the word wasn't in use before. I've no idea what happened to him - he left the board we met on pretty soon afterwards, but despite the disappointment he obviously felt at my backing out of the relationship so fast, he had a pretty solid influence on me. It was only a month or so later I found this board...

D'oh... just the fore part of the foot...

It's bigger than a hand? Trouble is, it's also a damn sight less flexible than a hand and there are some pretty impressive stretches involved: take a tape measure and measure the circumference of your foot at the narrowest point from heel to top of foot and complare that to the circumference of the best, biggest handed fisters you know. I've heard of it being done and put the information in the "friend of a friend of a friend who once knew some who's cousin..." box. If he's the sort of buddy you'd buy a birthday present for, give him a rubber cast of your foot...

These wonderful guys here decided me on where to put my biohazard: mid-shoulder, back neck. I normaley wear a vest as per avatar in summer, so it won't go much below the lower edge of the neckline of the vest. If I want it hidden, a sweater or shirt should cover it. When I have it done it'll go directly over an area of buffalo hump (love the irony!) meaning I shouldn't have the "feel it everywhere" of a tattoo going directly onto bone. Besides, given that buffalo hump is a side effect of HIV drugs it's a nice little irony that the drugs have helped me place my tat exactly where I want it....

HIV isn't the only STI out there, and guys with HIV don't have exclusive rights over those other STIs (some of which are more dangerous to poz poz guys than they are to neg guys, syphilis for example). It's generally reckoned that about a quarter of the HIV+ population of a country don't know they have have it, which means that those guys' CD4 counts are dropping and their viral loads rising without them knowing anything about it. Which, of course, makes it easier to pick up all manner of things. Unless you go to tonight's fuck's place directly from the clinic that gave you negative results, neg doesn't actually mean much, which is why I prefer to talk in terms of HIV poz and HIV unknown. Except for very limited circumstances only HIV poz guys know their status for sure.

If you're not sure you're going to regret it or not, then I'd say hold off till you are sure. It's a one way door. It's not just a question of healthy eating and looking after yourself: thirteen or fourteen months ago in the middle of Wales I was eating a "local" diet in that practically everything I ate hadn't travelled more than thirty or forty miles in its entire existence (I'm a pretty good cook and not a bad nutritionist), I was doing weights three times a week, could look in a mirror and thing "yeah, I'd do me" and was riding my motorbike through those narrow Welsh lanes at seventy. Go have a look for posts from me on medical stuff from the middle of last year: I'd lost (over?) a quarter of my bodyweight, came within a few days of death simply because one of the most widely used HIV drugs turned on me and bit me on the arse. I still can't manage unfamiliar places or crowds without a walking stick and much of the damage the drugs did is permanent. What happened to me is rare, but it can happen: that's the other thing you need to keep in mind. Sometimes the drugs cause more damage than the virus. Not trying to frighten you, just want to make sure you have as many of the facts as possible before you make the decision. (BTW: I confess, my avatar pic was taken before any of this shit happened)

I wrote this for a friend who was a bit nervous about the whole thing. So I toned it down a bit... Dump your bag in the hall, and come into the living room. The playmat is already down , there's porn on the TV, a near-empty glass of juice by the settee and a few cans of beer. I'm wearing bike boots, a pair of jeans and a black vest. "Get your shirt off and kneel down" As you do so, I open my jeans, pull my jock aside and pull out my dick, already half hard and dripping with precum. I wipe most of the precum over your face then push my stiffening dick into your mouth. I let maybe half a pint of piss go. It takes you by surprise as you expected to be sucking on it not drinking, and you spill some of it down yourself. "Stand up". I grab you by the back of your neck and pull your pissy mouth to mine, letting your tongue explore my mouth as I explore yours. At the same time I'm undoing your jeans. As they drop, I pull away and spit into your mouth. Get rid of the rest of the clothes, grab a couple of beers and sit down. I lean back on the settee so that when you sit next to me you're half leaning on me with one of my arms around you. You catch on and open the beers, handing one to me. I haven't bothered fastening my jeans again. "Right, we're going to watch a little TV while we fill up again. You're going to feel how I've been feeling waiting for you: you'll be keeping your hands off your dick... no need to rush the beer, we've got plenty of time." You settle back against me, sipping your beer, watching a muscle bear getting it up the arse. I see your dick begin to twitch and strain which is when I start playing with your nipples, gently at first but increasing the pressure. I can see you making slight but obvious thrusting movements with your hips as though you hope that will relieve some of the pressure on your dick. "Put your beer down and get these boots and jeans off me". While you're doing that I get rid of my vest. You move to take my jock, but I stop you, pulling your face into my crotch. There's a faint smell of piss and you can see the pre-cum leaking though it. "Get it nice and clean and then I might think about taking it off." You're sucking my dick through the jock, occasionally moving down to my balls (I love having my balls sucked). You keep inching towards me until I can feel your dick against my leg. Instead of pressing back I pull away, grab a cock strap and fasten it around your dick and balls. I can see the veins standing out even further. You make a lunge at my dick, but I push you over onto your back, grab your legs behind your knees and push them back towards your chest exposing your arsehole. I spit a couple of time and move in with my tongue, at first going gently around the hole, then pushing in slightly, before returning to licking around your arsehole. I loosen my grip on your legs and you get the message holding them up while I start working harder on your arsehole, alternating spitting and getting my tongue in as far as I can. I take a moment to get rid of my jock. I take another lunge at your arsehole, getting my tongue in as deep as I can, aware of how my facial hair is scratching at your arse. I move up a way, and you feel the head of my dick against your arse. I run my dick over your hole, watching how it moves, then watching your face for that pleading look that says I need that now. I reckon that there's enough spit and precum that we won't need lube, so I gently push in. Sure enough, your arse moves automatically opening to let my dick in. I push in further and lean over the backs of your thighs lowering my face so that by the time I'm all the way in you start licking at my beard and 'tache. You realise that that frees up your hands to play with your cock. All the way in now, my balls against you, I thrust into you a few times and then pause. There's almost a questioning look on your face I start to let go, my piss flooding into your arse. I can feel your sphincter gripping my cock, your whole arse tightening around me as I fill your guts with my piss. I'm pushing in seriously now, feeling my piss dribble out over my balls, feeling your balls banging against me as you wank harder. I'm holding your ankles up in the air now, letting you concentrate on your cock, while I'm staring right into your eyes, holding my cock as deep as I can inside. I see the change in your eyes, feel the subtle change of rhythm in your wanking as you get close. "Go on..." I've been close for a while, but now I go for it, pulling almost all the way out before pushing in deep, feeling your arse grip my cock, not wanting to let it go. Suddenly it tightens, and you groan as you cum all over your belly. A couple more strokes and I'm with you trying to push in even deeper as my cum mingles with my piss in your arsehole. We stay still for a few minutes each catching his breath, before I withdraw, lean over your belly, lick up your cum and move up to kiss you... After a While my dick slips out of your arse and I stand up, indicating that I want you standing too. I pull gently on your balls and ask "you need to piss yet?" When you nod, I crouch down and take your dick in my mouth - nothing. "What are you waiting for? You can have it back later..." Slowly, hesitantly you begin to piss and I swallow most of it, letting a little trickle down me, through my beard and onto my chest. Then I notice your arse leaking: "into the bathroom and dump that lot." I listen to you shitting out the piss and cum as I lie back on the settee, watching the porn again. My legs are spread wide and I've got a beer in my hand. You take the hint, sit between my legs and pick up your own unfinished beer. For a while we sit in silence, drinking, while onscreen the same muscle bear is taking it from someone else. You start taking little chances, rubbing your head against my balls, occasionally turning to suck on them. I stand up pulling your head up to my dick, beginning to get hard again, and start pissing into your face. You don't need telling: immediately you've got your mouth on my dick sucking the piss out. My flow weakens and comes to a stop. You try to take advantage of the situation by starting to suck me, but I push you away. "Time for that later. Now sit down, drink your beer and watch tv." Back in the same position, you on the floor between my legs. Between swigs of beer, you divide your attention between the porn and my cock and balls. You're so intent on what you're doing you don't notice that in between the beer I've also got through a litre of orange juice. It's going through me fast, and next time you try to get my cock in your mouth, I pull you round, so you can take my cock again. This time I let myself get fully hard as your mouth works on my dick, tasting the sweetness of my precum, playing with my PA, before plunging down, then coming back for air while you play with the head of my dick. Before long you're working on my cock like you're trying to make me cum, at which point I grab your head and let go with another load of piss. When I've finished, you try to continue sucking me but I pull out and direct your face down to my balls. At first you're licking gently but when I push forward slightly your start sucking them, sometimes just one at a time, sometimes taking both in your mouth. I pull back a little and you get the message that I like a bit of pressure there. "Lie down, face up..." Reluctantly, you let go of my balls and lie down on the playmat. You start to raise your legs as though I'm about to fuck you again, but that's not what I'm after. Instead I sit on your face. Instantly, your tongue is out working around my arsehole, probing it, sucking at it. I pull your legs up further and with my upper body firmly against your belly get my tongue into your hole. It's still sloppy from earlier and I can feel the pressure of my body lying over your belly cause you to let go little trickles of piss. It's time... Before you can figure out what I'm doing I'm pushing my dick into your hole and fucking you hard. The little trickles of piss you were letting go become spurts. I hold in as deep as I can and just a little movement on my part, the pressure on your bladder is too much and you're pissing all over yourself. When your stream of piss ends your hand moves unconsciously to your dick. I'm fucking gently now as you establish a rhythm. Then I pull out and say the single word "knees". You struggle up and as soon as you're in position I push into your mouth. "This time you're going to make me cum... but when you get close yourself, keep yourself on the edge." This time you've learned a bit more how I like my cock to be sucked, paying a lot of attention to the head, playing with my PA, and only occcasionally taking the full length. Meanwhile I lean down and start working your tits. Your sucking rhythm changes and I see you dick stiffen as I put more pressure on them. You're working my cock harder now and I can feel the inevitable begin. "Don't swallow." I let go of your tits to hold your head in place while I hold it still to fuck your mouth as I cum. As I cum, I'm pushing deep into your mouth, with each stroke getting a little shallower as I fill your mouth. I glance down at your dick: rigid and your hand barely moving. "Stand up." I position myself in front of your dick "Now go for it." Three, maybe four strokes and I feel your cum squirting into my mouth, the last couple of spurts falling short and landing in my beard. I stand up and kiss you, mingling our cum together, at the same time giving your tits a last hard squeeze "That's for missing at the end..."

A great article: I'm on a POZ only board that's trying to encompass everyone with HIV so it ends up all nicey-nice. Any talk of bb and the subject gets changes fast. I wrote a piece there to the effect that it ain't 1983 anymore and what was good advice then isn't necessarily good advice now. Given that an undetectable viral load is as effective as a condom, the only use for a condom is their varying efficacy at preventing the spread of other STIs, and announced my intention of giving up the rubber (okay, so like most of the gay men there I'd been keeping quiet about the bb) unless it was chaps or vests etc . The administrator posted the above article as a reply...

There was the time years ago when me and the guy I was with would spend Sunday lunchtime in the Coleherne (long since disappeared). We resembled each other sufficiently that we could pull off the twin act no bother. We'd decide who we were picking up and ride off into the woodlands of Surrey with the pickup riding pillion. Find a nice clearing and take turns at the guy's arse... The things some guys will do to get on a motorbike... ;-)

Late night train from Lewisham to London Bridge (open carriage, not compartments)