fuckboy20

Hope the title wasn't too lame.

I've been thinking about this lately. But i go to a few different sites that involve hook up and sex. Sites like bbrt always have pictures of most guys and usually face pics too. But I find it strange that some sites like squirt and adam4adam half the guys don't have face pictures or sometimes ANY pictures. *left this part about because I'm afraid of mentioning anything poz related on account of getting an infraction..hope this doesn't count*

But I find it stranger now that on some sites like squirt and adam4adam being open about my status and barebacking that I get messages from faceless profiles or sometimes blank profiles with "Hi" or "Love to get together". It's a personal peeve of mine for a guy to message with me without even seeing his face. It can be slightly ignored if he at least has body pics but having no picture and just "the blank outline" is annoying. No profile is more annoying. I'm wondering do these guys just want to secretly get together with a barebacker or something?

I understand some men are married, discreet, cheating, lying to themselves, and etc. But I know some men who are smart enough on some of these sites who make the locked picture their face. But come on it's 2013. If you can't get a face pic then really? Or any pics for that matter.

So I guess the point of this thread (besides to rant) is do you notice that some sites have more people who are on there or who message you who have no face pic or profile vs. sites where it's not common. And what do you think the reason for that is? It's really got me curious for some reason.

I feel bad for the site too because no one wants to go to a site where it's faceless. But then again..maybe there is a market for that.

I'll admit it. There are secretly some madonna songs I'd love to have sex to. But back on topic. I did have a fuck bud when I was 18 and we played a lot. A few times we played he had a "pre-pandora" like radio station and he'd have music during sex. It wasn't techno or disco though. Once he let me listen to one of my station's and I liked that. What was the most memorable with music during sex was sex with a guy in a hotel in North Carolina. I had an iPhone at that time and he had a iHome dock in the hotel room. I forgot how it got brought up but we were having sex to Linkin Park, Blink-182, AVA, and etc. I was really surprised that he was okay with that. Who knows, maybe he just really wanted young ass.

But the point is since music has always been a VERY strong influence and relaxer for me being in that younger self when I listened to lots of LP, blink-182, to get through hard times. Using that music during sex was very powerful for me and made it more intense. Haha imagine having sex to a linkin park song. I think it was probably like, "One Step Closer" or maybe something from minutes to midnight.

Actually with my former Master now that I think about it. That night he made love to during what was "Gay Pride" weekend in Atlanta we stayed in. I couldn't go to clubs cause I was 19 or so and we tried to go to a drag show (18+) but a women doing drag of a scottish man infuriated him so much he was clawing the table and I got him out of there fast. Point is after I gave him complete control and he was the first to EVER bareback me (not that I thought of it like that back then) I think I did play a Jimmy Eat World song on my phone. It might have been "futures" or "a praise chorus". I remember it repeated a few times for some reason and we both eventually got tired of it and I went to turn it off. But we did technically make love to the song and technically it was the bareback virginity taken song (well taken bareback I mean). Even though I consider "our" song to be something else.

I do know someone who does music right during sex. Same fuckbud I get together with who has a big dick. He has music playing upstairs when we always go up there. It's some kind of disco or techno. But it's played so low you can't really hear it. It's funny because I always remember it when I get in and before we undress. And I always hear it after I come out of the shower and get dressed. It might be on while we have sex but hell if I notice. I always focus on taking that man's giant cock without him re-arranging my innards. Or destroying them.

But technically I haven't known that many guys that had music during sex. Oh and I think that was just a phase when I was younger wanting to play my lame rock/punk music during sex. I stopped doing shit like that years ago. Actually I know of a hetero couple where the Sir plays Metallica, Slipknot, Disturbed, Korn, and a few others when he does BDSM on his woman. But that's another topic with dungeon sex music. I did know a top who played buttboy. He actually got me into buttboy. I don't really see that much about him but he used a few tracks when we played once.

I'll admit though. Justin Timberlakes new CD. During sex yes plz. Or at least making out with a guy. But that kinda stuff is saved for clubs

Heh how did I miss an Atlanta visitor? Oh right less piggy and cum whorish now..*slaps my cock*...

So the other night I went over to someone I haven't seen in a while. I fucked him and bred him twice. I was surprised at how much I got into the fucking. Now for the more important tonight event..EVENT!!

Hooked up with someone I've gotten together with once on BBRT. Very confident bb leather top. Fucks lots of guys and I was honored to be fucked by him last time. I thought last time there was more passion and affection such as kissing but less of that this time. It was fine with me. He brought a suitcase full of leather and was going to change into leather but decided not to. But he wore his boots. I told him he did not have to and I guess he had a long day so he probably appreciated that. I serviced his huge cock and enjoyed deep throating it and feeling my throat muscles relax as my saliva covered his cock and hearing him moan in pleasure and face fuck me. Like my fuck bud, he fucked my face until he got so horned up and wanted to fuck me. And he brought poppers..which I've been needing.

I got on all fours in my jock strap. His verbal assault began about me being a bitch and a cock whore and how he was going to fuck and breed his bitch. I took a big hit of poppers and felt his cock slowly sink inside me. Fuck it felt so good. I could feel my ass opening up until I felt him push in completely. I've had sort of intuition that I'm going to start getting fucked harder and used more. So I used a butt plug for a few hours tonight before he came over and cleaned out very well (as usual too). So I was prepared. I was so fucking horny I was humping his cock in all sorts of ways. Rotating and gyrating my ass, backing my ass up on his cock, and pushing my ass in the air and fucking myself on him. He said what a good little bitch in heat I was and how he loves using his whore and how I'm a good slave fuck toy.

And then..like the top with the leather couple. He did it again. Said how I'm having sex with leathermen and tops and get off on serving men and being a cum whore because I want to be a slave. How I want to be owned and collared. Of course with his huge cock in me, high on the poppers, and fucking myself on him again I couldn't deny it and admitted to it and fucked myself on his cock even harder and more intensely. Like the other man, this wasn't elaborated on he had grin on his face as he pulls a created and somewhat imaginary leash on a part of my brain and the core of me that's leather. Fuckers. His response was somewhat like, "I thought so boy." Or "I know".

Back to the hot sex. I felt him shudder and groan a few times and felt his body spasm and he held me down and started fucking me incredibly hard and slowed down. I continued to wrath around on the bed, gyrating my ass, raising my ass and fucking myself on his cock. He slowly pulled out and he told me he bred me 2 times. I mostly fucked myself on his cock. I did most of the work. Hell yeah!

We talked a bit afterwards and he told me ALOT about himself and I got more insight on doing something that I'm attempting to do to make my dreams and desires come true. But he was more focussed on talking about himself so I'm back at a dead end with that. Oh well. It was a hot fuck. And I have a feeling recently. That I'm going to play and meet a lot more leather Sirs. And whether that brings me closer to deeper desires or not I'll learn more about being a bottom and submissive and test and challenge my nature. Hope to travel more soon too

Got together with a friend I haven't played with in a while. Between being scratched and being poz and him being sick the time kept passing by. We met a few weeks ago and we had lunch since I had a different shift. But nothing since then.

I have been growing a goatee..and kinda for him. When I went in the door he greeted me and we made out as usual. Instead of the usual taking me upstairs to fuck he invited me on the patio. We talked and caught up and he was groping me and I was groping him. He asked if I've had sex outdoors before. I said, "Yup" ("Refer to saturday night") and we made out some and he told me to suck his cock. Fuck I forgot how big his cock was. I was working it. Sucking it, licking it, kissing it, swallowing it, putting suction on it while deepthroating it. He got so worked up he pulled me off and told me to go inside. We got by the couch and he bent me over and shoved his dick in. He is BIG. I had no idea if we were really going to fuck or not but I was really turned on and horny and I felt him push into me. He got a few inches inside and fucked me a little but then he pulled out. I suggested we go upstairs.

After more sucking on him we got into the bed and rolled around making out and him playing with my ass. He had poppers for me too. He never uses them. How sweet . I was on all fours and felt him push in. Fuck I took a hit of poppers and felt him push in more. I felt so full and felt like I had to shit and my stomach hurt bad. But I knew I was okay because I cleaned out hella good even after eating crystals for lunch and slamming down a cup of black coffee. Fucking hardcore like that. Commentary aside and such.. He started fucking me. I don't know if I've stressed this before but this man FUCKS FAST AND HARD. He doesn't really fuck slow he fucks fast. He fucked me hard and fast for a while and then he pushed me on my belly. I knew what to expect. I took a huge hit of poppers and felt my ass open up even more to him. Fuck I could feel him almost completely in. It felt so good being fucked by him and we made out several times while he fucked me. After a while he told me to get on my back. This is always the challenge. As expected once he pushed in I could almost feel all of it in me and he was giving almost all of it to me. I've noticed that when I lose myself in sex now my voice gets lower and deeper and I sort of grunt. I did that alot. We took quick intermissions to to sit up and make out and grope each other and he'd fuck me some more. Finally, he put me on my belly again and he pushed in all the way in one thrust. Fuck I was glad I was on the poppers. I felt my ass completely open up and I felt like his dick was pressing at a wall in my ass. There wasn't any farther he could go. And then I felt it. His entire full 9-10 inches inside of me. Fuck. No worrying about anything I just completely gave up and let him fuck me. Fuck it felt so good. He pounded me for a good bit fucking me really hard and really fast. Then I felt him start to really fuck me and begged him to breed me. He fucked me even faster and I backed my ass up against his thrusts as he fucked me. I could tell he was just about there so I raised my ass in the air completely and he came. He shot a HUGE load up my ass. He doesn't have sex alot and I could feel his load fill my ass to the limits. Fuck I felt it leak out of my ass while he was still inside fucking me. Then finally I felt him pull out. I layed there for a minute or two. I was beyond bliss and he tore up my ass and I was stunned for a bit. He gave me a glass of water and I got out of bed and took a shower.

In the shower I scooped some of the cum out of my ass and tasted it. Really sweet. I got the rest out and ate it while I was in the shower. Sex crazed and hungry..also skipped dinner. It was a huge load. After the shower we hung out and then we said our goodbyes.

Normally I joke that he ruins my ass for the evening. But I could still feel it this time. His dick re-arranging my insides. And fuck my hole was a normally sore it wasn't. And as usual I went to dairy queen afterwards the celebrate. Every time I see him I always treat myself to an extra dessert. (literal..fucking love sweets) I have a feeling we'll get back to our weekly meetings. Maybe even more then once a week if I'm lucky.

Before I went to college briefly two months.

But I've sort of been on a sex drought lately. But it's not a bad thing. I used to just have guys cum over and breed me or go to clubs and breed me. But sometimes it's just the same guys online you always see. Experiencing going to a bar freshly after being poz and being able to hook up with someone and have them fuck and breed me and them be cool with my status was awesome. And hooking up with experienced leather men and getting the BDSM, headspace, and full experience besides just the cock and load was beyond words. So I don't think people should feel bad if they don't have sex for a while. I know some guys like multiple loads and as many loads as possible. I've been there and it's hot. But sometimes it's hotter to get a guy that isn't so obvious a barebacker and engaging with them to find out what they are into and letting your sexual interest and theirs collide and going with the flow. Which will most likely be bareback. I'm probably gonna cut down sex for a while because I really like going to bars and drinking recently. And meeting people and hanging out with people is fun. Plus on certain nights it will be fun to go after a certain guy and see if I can get him into bed. Going to clubs and bending over or calling guys to come over and bending over is easy. Something with more of a challenge for me is on the menu right now

So I'll post this first part briefly. I never mentioned this because I contemplated on making it into a story or erotic fiction. Because it was the very first time I got tied up, gagged, blindfolded, completely bound, and used in a way I never thought possible. I intended to make it into a story to show that there is more then just fucking and cum and that the foreplay, bondage, and BDSM can take you to a whole other realm. But decided fuck it. I'm lazy sometimes.

To sum it up. Talked to a leather bareback couple on and off and finally met up. Dressed up in full leather got my hands tied, blindfolded, gagged, legs tied up, and one of them used me first and bred me and their partner gave me a hit of my poppers and used their partner's cum as lube. Got fucked for a good length of time, and the top got inside my mind and head too and it was an incredible night and limits were pushed I did not even realize I had.

Skip to last weekend.

It's been a while since I had sex because of getting a cut back there and infected for a while and then learning I was poz. Had that hook up at the bar and was honest about my status but that was it. Finally got together with the leather couple again. The more bottom partner was not able to play that night so I played with his partner the top.

We already had dinner and he made me a drink and we were watching a movie. We both got turned on and we made out a bit. Oh I should point out that his rule of thumb is always having my hands bound. After a while he tweaked my nipples, he put the blindfold on and used the gag on me several times. Then he took me outside and I wasn't sure what we were doing but I was bent over. It felt like a wood tree or something under me. I realized it was a stump. I could feel a rush go to my head. He put the poppers to my nose. I was gagged so I couldn't really breathe and exhale the poppers out so I inhaled everything. I then felt his dick push inside me. Oh fuck. I was naked outside with my pants around my ankles, hands bound, blindfolded and gagged and getting fucked hard. If I wasn't so horny I would have been picky about the wooden stump and me being on it and getting chaffed but I diddn't care. I just wanted his raw dick to own my ass and be a good little bitch for him.

He is a sadist so he pulled out and said I'd get more later. He tweaked my nipples sore more, made out with me some more and played with my cock and balls. I was led by him trying careful to maneuver. I could tell we were back inside and shortly we were in his bedroom. He stripped me of my jeans, put my leather chaps on, put the leather wrap around my cock and balls, covered me with rope and had me tight and secure and put a rag in my mouth soaked with "bourbon" and put a leather mask around me with a blindfold.

I can't tell you how turned on I was. My body was shaking and I trusted my ass back and forth and my body spasm-ed from excrement. I already had a few drinks in me. I was high on poppers and willing to do anything for this man and smelling the alcohol soaked cloth and tasting it in my mouth and gagged by it. That sent me into overload. I heard him snap a few pictures too. I was even more turned on. He threw me on the bed and I could tell he was done with the foreplay. I remember earlier when we were on the couch I was sucking his cock and how desperate and horny I was for his cock. I felt him rub my hole and I felt the poppers invade me again. Like before, having the gag in my mouth I couldn't really exhale so it was even more intense. I then felt his dick push against my hole and I felt how tight my hole was. He kept pushing in until he popped in. Fuck I screamed out. All the while he called me a little fag boy, cum dump, slut whore, and said how fucking good my ass felt. Damn it felt so good having him use my ass. He pulled out and told me to suck him. I did and again, he gave me another hit of poppers and I worshiped this man's dick and licked and took every inch of his shaft. I was completely deepthroating him and putting suction on his dick as I serviced him. I could tell he was so close to cumming and his stupid phone rang. He was surprised to get a call so late but it took a few seconds and he hung up. He immediately asked, "Where do you want it boy". I told him, "UP MY ASS SIR"

He undid some of the bondage so it was mostly my wrists again and he put me on my belly and slowly pushed his cock inside. He told me he'd be a gentlemen. I felt him slowly invade and I felt my ass opening up and then i felt him slam his cock inside. Fuck it hurt and I yelled out. He told me to shut up and be a good faggot and to take his cock. He told me he's not pulling out and I can cry and scream all I want and that it just makes him harder. I was yelling at first until I realized best I could and I felt sloshing inside. I felt so much looser and I could feel him completely fucking me and I heard him saying how good my ass feels and how I have such a good faggot ass. He started pounding me harder and I felt his dick just slide in and out of my ass perfectly. He really started to fuck me and I bucked my ass on his cock matching his rhythm. He told me that he's going to breed my ass and how he is going to make me his cumdump. He yelled and shouted and I felt his load flood my ass as I pushed my ass back all the way on his cock and I felt his body shake and I felt him fuck it in deeper. And then I felt him pop out of me. Fuck my ass hurt but I also felt like there was extra lube back there. While he caught his breath I used the bathroom quickly. I realized that I was bleeding a little. I knew I felt something strange when it felt extra slick and loose. I was scared when I imagined that scenario but also turned on.

I told him and he put some neosporin back there just to be safe. We thanked each other and made out some more and he kept whispering sweet nothings to me all the while playing with my cock and nipples. He loved torturing my nipples. But he had stuff to do so we parted. We got together the next day for a bit and I blew him.

But fuck I diddn't think anything would top the first encounter. Having sex outside and being bent over a stump and fucked raw was so hot. He is the first to ever fuck me outside too. And I think he mentioned before how after the first time it wouldn't be as hot. He was definitely wrong. Next time I'll get to play with him and his partner. Definitely love that I not only found a very hot leather couple but that the leather top likes to push my limits with BDSM which I want to learn so badly and that he knows exactly what I wants and gives it to me or doesn't. It all depends on what he feels like doing.

It's gonna be hard to beat that fuck.

Hehe..so tested poz today. So now I know the confirmatory results. I'M FUCKING POZ! Whether that's good or bad only time will tell. After calling and texting people and eating dinner I went to see someone at their work. They are poz and invited me over to talk. They hugged me and kissed me letting me know everything would be okay and gave me some very good advice as well. They hinted sex at first but I turned them down feeling guilty and nervous about not knowing viral load and cd4 count yet.

...But after some intense making out out digs getting hard and me sucking on his nipples I was horny. Fucking loved it when that thick beard and his tounge swirled around with my tounge and licking and sucking his nipples and feeling his hard tight grip as he embraced me. I fucked him. Not one but 4 times. Bred him 4 times. I can't believe I said it too but when I was getting close I said, "FUCKING TAKE MY POZ LOAD SIR!". And he responded with, "YES BOY GIVE ME YOU POZ LOAD MY GOOD BOY". Role reversal, but very fucking hot. He is the only guy I really fuck and especially like that. But he brings out a different side in me. He diddn't fuck me tonight but I wasn't prepared anyways. Not like I've been looking for sex.

But I went to a local bar and although it was slow they had good drink specials and I realize part of it was darkened. This hot older daddy somewhat skinny hit on me. I sucked him in the dark area for a while and then sucked a very beefy chub bear type guy and took his load in my mouth. I went back to the other daddy and I sucked 2 loads out of him. He kept saying how he wanted to fuck me raw though and have his cum dripping out of my ass..I wish it happened.

A little later this really hot muscle bear came but he was kinda dense and did not have much to him but his looks. But I sucked him, his nipples, his pits, we made out, and he briefly fucked me raw inside the bar. We sat afterwards to supposedly chat but he cared more about others around and had no interest in me. He diddn't look like he had anything to him but wanting sex. So I left and thanked him. But fuck what a night. Way to mark being confirmed poz..

A little late but on saturday I went to a bar and had a half pitcher of beer and was enjoying myself. I saw a hot older daddy type looking at me a few times but figured he wasn't into me. When he came over to get another drink we talked a bit and I saw that he had some interest. After we talked more he bought me a shot of jack Daniels which I slammed and we chatted some more. He then bought me a cape cod and I was already drunk..but I was really getting drunk at that point. He told me that we better leave and I agreed. We went to his place and I was really nervous but once we got in the bedroom he told me to take off my clothes. I did and he had an incredibly sexy body a little furry and not too much belly. We made out ALOT..which I love and I saw how hard his cock was. I wondered at the bar and fuck it was thick. He immediately took some lube and lubed his cock and gave me a hit of poppers. Still being drunk and now high on poppers before I could even speak or say anything he pushes in and I feel my ass collapse on his cock. Fuck it felt so damn good and it had been WAY too long. He gives me another hit of poppers and I was floating. I opened up my ass and he fucked me hard and fast and I loved every minute of it. I begged him to fuck me more and fuck me harder. He puts me on my stomach and enters back in and I work my ass muscles on his cock while he's fucking me and he starts shouting and yelling and I feel his huge load fill me up. Damn it felt so good. Afterwards we talked a bit and then he asked about status. I was honest and told him I just got tested and tested poz but waiting for results to come back to confirm it.

He did not have a problem with it and said he's known poz guys in the past. We take a shower and we go back to fucking some more and we fall asleep. I wake up in the middle of the night and so does he and he is FUCKING ROCK HARD. Harder then we was before and I rub my ass against his cock and I back up on it and thrust my ass on it. I can hear him moaning and grunting trying to decide what he should do. He grabs some lube and puts it on his cock and pushes it in. It feels so much bigger and thicker then before and I have doubts if I can take it. I reach for poppers but he stops me. He tells me, "You are going to take every inch of it boy and feel it all." He did not lie. He fucked it in more and I could feel my ass splitting open. Fuck it hurt but I took deep breaths and relaxed and while he partially split me open I was able to relax for the most part. But I felt it when he fucked me full force and I did all I could to get my ass to adjust to his girth and the speed and force of his fucking. I was eventually able to focus on the pleasure and begged him to fuck me until once again I heard him groan and moan and he shot another load. This continued for a few times during the night and the morning as well.

At the bar I was so worried about guys thinking differently of my status. I wish I said something earlier but then again he diddn't really give me a chance to. But when asked I was honest and I'm glad it diddn't bother him. Once my full test results are back I'll be able to decide what kind of barebacker I really want to be. But for now I won't call this a slip up. It was much needed.

The best way to use poppers is to take a deep breath in each nostril take a deep breath and hold it in and slowly breath out. If you rush, sniff to fast or too much, you are more likely to get the bad side effects. Sex can be a spur of the moment type thing so it's easy to use poppers the wrong way or just overuse them. There has been many times where I took a hit and took another almost immedietely after because I was either so horny or just wanted to get fucked up. At least I admit it though.

What poppers usually do for me if I take too much or too much in at once is I get a cough or burp. I feel that I have to get that out of my system first. So sucking cock after taking poppers the wrong way is almost impossible because it feels like suffocation. Fucking is okay though. I've never really gotten shakes or jitters but I feel it go to my head sometimes and once the good feeling is gone or fading I feel dehydrated and like I need to take another hit after it wears off. I usually use them right but not always.

I do know the better brand you get the less effect you get. The ones I use usually don't give me a headache. Actually someone I met has a strange set without a name but a label on it (general guidelines). He says the poppers have no name but he gets them through someone who sells them and they are import or something. You'll have to decide for yourself if import ones or the more expensive or label brand (top shelf lol) might work better for you. I personally love Gold English. Can't go back to the other stuff.

Maximum Impact is another story though. I felt lifeless and couldn't move when a top used it on me once. And another time when I was forced to inhale it through a rag I literally felt completely drained for a few seconds and just collapsed on the ground and wasn't able to remove. I felt like I zoned out or faded out for a brief second but I diddn't completely pass out. That stuff is way stronger then poppers.

First of all insanely jealous of all of you that I won't be able to live this life until they have perfected the vaccine to the HIV virus.

I am making this thread for two reasons, one I want to put out something that I think is quite remarkable, and I need peace of mind for something else

Out of all these (I mean no disrespect, in fact I find it very hot) "cum sluts that are into be used and exploited by dom older tops"

they ALL share the following coincidences

-18-30

-straight acting

From what I have noticed from this site, bbrt, and various others, all these bottom boy cumsluts are straight acting young men.

This frightens me since I only want to date straight acting men my own age.

So with the above statement in mind, do you men think I am over-estimating how big this "underground poz community" is.

Also a third coincidence I think exists, but Im not sure.

Do most of these boys that are into being used by older tops, do they also have usually average to above average cocks?

Edit: Also I have to ask this question since I saw this post once and I just have to raise this question to the community. There exists a lot of men from 18-21 with HIV some already undetectable. I saw a post once from a toxic breeder that said "boys as young as 12 are going online while their mommies are at work and finding us". So my question is this, do you think that a good portion of the "bottom boys" population were kids that went online and fell victim to an evil gifter?

Yeah..a perfect vaccine is a long way away. If that's going to stop you from barebacking or barebacking a certain way you probably shouldn't do it.

From what I have noticed from this site, your posts, profile, and this thread you seem to have a HUGE issue with younger bottom boys being sluts and cumdumps. You also assume they are straight acting. You say that you fear dating because of this "underground poz community" and find it dangerous. First off, if you are insecure with yourself you shouldn't date. Simple as that.

Again, I don't get the straight acting thing. I don't see anything wrong with you wanting to date someone your own age. Whatever age that might be. I don't think someone is throwing away their life necessarily if they want to be a dump dump for lots of tops or be a slut. It's their choice to make. And some are able to do it and maintain it and other's aren't. But it's their choice and their live to choose. I can't comment on the cock thing because I really don't know.

I don't believe the undeground poz community is as big as you think it is. Reason is a lot of men out there don't think of barebacking itself as a fetish. Some just do it with others from time to time and some do it one on one with a partner. Even for those who are poz some might only do it with their partner and if they do it with others wear a rubber or let the other know their status and let them make the choice.

As for the stealthers and those who want to give the gift via rape, force, or sneaky tactics. Everyone makes a choice when they go home with someone. Everyone makes a choice when they decide to have sex with someone. All you can do is use your best judgement on whether someone might to rape, stealth, or poz you. If you are too afraid of it then you probably shouldn't be having sex to begin with. I'll admit that before I started barebacking I got stealthed twice at a sex club when I was younger. Did not really think back to it until I started barebacking. Could have been poz loads back then. The point is use your best judgement whether the guy is older or younger.

I won't write you off like some will because the fact that you took the time to write this despite contradictions in your other posts show that you are serious about this and want to know. Again with the straight acting thing. I don't necessarily think that's true. And I do think there are more older cum dumps on here then younger. But use the site statistics or whatever. I think that a lot of younger bottoms do want to be used sexually as a cum dump or submit to a certain top. But I think a lot of them are too afraid to actually do it unless it's forced upon them.

But I think maybe too much porn might have gotten to you with the "younger straight acting" bottoms things. Because that's what porn mostly uses. As for that last part. I have no idea what you are talking about.

I'm sorry that you are going through that right now. I can say that in December my viral load was very low and CD4 Count was normal. I know this because of someone I played with near the end of december. That being said, if I was more exclusive past then I would have been fine. But since I took 7-9 loads a day several times in January and had lots of random sex it will be interesting to find out my viral load and CD4 Count. As for the fevers, sweating, and sores. I did get a little of that early in march and was sick from work from 3 days. Never had fever blisters in my life and they were a pain. But everything that seemed to attack me did all at once. It would seem like that's when I became poz but I know better and know that I was in december. Well I won't find out the other information until I'm called in.

I wasn't told if I'm undectable yet but they said sometimes that some guys don't even need to take meds at first and some do. It all depends on viral load, c4 cell count, and also how far along it's progressed.

If I want to map things out I got tested last October at pride. I tested negative..and they day before I went to a bareback party. A few guys fucked me but only 2 breed me. I believe I had more bb sex pride weekend too. December I had sex with someone and found out more about that last week. From them I know what my viral load and cell count would be if I'm still how I was in december. But it's march now so 3 months have gone by. I'll admit if I listen to my body I have been more tired lately. But that's because I started working again and it's much more intensive. I don't get as stressed as I did and I work hard but being tired has worried me. Same as the really random flu I got early march. it wasn't so much that it was a flu it's that every aspect of the flu hit me on full strength and that normally doesn't happen. Even when I got sick for a week in December it wasn't as intense as it was a few weeks ago. But as I said before everything is just "speculation" right now. I know no real facts until they call me. But I am able to piece some of it together.

As I said, I'm sorry that you need to be put on meds sooner and that you are going through flu like sicknesses. You sound like you have been going through things that I haven't though and I am so happy that your immune system hasn't broken down yet and there is time to get to it before you become full blown AIDS. I took a bigger gamble being only 23 and immune system still probably developing. But thank you for posting your progress and sharing it. It sounds like we are in a very similar boat. I will post my cell count and viral load as soon as I know it as well. But right now that's the biggest thing on my mind. And I'll admit it makes me a little worried. But it's out of my control right now.

I've explained the process on here several times. Safer Only>Barebacking with only A FEW guys who claimed to be NEG>Taking supposedly neg loads in clubs and bookstores>taking only undetectable loads>taking all loads>taking a few poz loads>truly taking any and every load but started craving poz loads>positive.

So Saturday I got tested. I was a little scared but did have reason to be tested and have been wanting to for a while. Let's be flat out honest. No on really wants to get tested. Very few people want to or are able to face fact and accept that they might really be poz or neg and have proof of it. I think there are two different processes for testing for AIDS and STD's out there. Anonymous. At events, a clinic, or bath houses where you just take the oral swap or blood and find out in a few minutes if you are prem poz or neg. I chose a more interesting approach without even knowing it. I went to more of a resource counseling testing place. So not only did I do the normal questions about sex partners, sex choices, and the normal but I also had a live person ask the questions and go through it. I'll admit I was scared. I'm sure there are some men here with balls who could say, "I fuck and breed whoever I want" or "I take multiple loads up my ass daily never safe." I had to sheepishly say.."Around 20 sex partners in the last year". That is a lie and a disappointing fact if that's true..which it's not..god dammit. One thing I did notice was a few subtle hints about how I should do it safer. Like, "Oh if you used protection all the time with 20 or more you would be perfectly safe and can enjoy your youth and have more fun." Obviously they are with the times where they admit that condoms for oral is basically never done or stressed. After testing preliminary poz I had to do a finger prick test (hate) and I talked with them about what happens next if it comes back poz and what my options are with no insurance (which sound actually good) and there was a guy there who was poz who I was able to talk to which was nice and made me feel more comfortable. He was cute too and he gave me a little experience about being poz and how he is perfectly happy and healthy. I found it very interesting that what their main goal and approach seems to be is use condoms for safer sex and if you are poz or become poz it's okay and you can be happy and healthy but still use condoms. Before I left they told me to enjoy my weekend and not worry and asked if i wanted condoms. I turned them down saying I'm not going to have sex for a while. They assured me I can have sex using condoms. I told them that I don't wanna have sex with neg guys even with condoms. Don't want to risk it. They were understanding of that.

To be honest..I think I could really be honest about what I am, what I do and have done and I think they would be understanding and maybe be accepting. But I don't have to do that. At the same time..part of me wants there to be some presence of an experienced barebacker and can somehow subtly let people know, "Guys, barebacking is okay and taking raw loads is fun but please be educated about the disease and history and know the risks and make your own choice." Not "Oh well I really think safer is something better that obviously is for everyone". But that's probably some of my sealed off protesting and need to be pro-active with causes (*cough leather*) kicking in.

Now as for the after thoughts. I thought before about just taking lots of loads up my ass and being a cum dump. Well I had two different views. One was being a travelling cumdump taking any loads from men who need relief. And the other is being owned by a top, Sir, or Leatherman and being his boy, bitch, slave, whore and taking his cum, cock, and whatever he gives me and includes being shared with his buds. But after talking to various people, experiencing more, being somewhat of a cumslut (7 loads daily for a while..bending over in sex clubs and taking raw cock and loads in the open) I have sort of realized an ultimatum about cum slut dumps and whores like that. As much fun as it sounds and as hot as it can be money is needed and so is health insurance to take care of any STD's or health concerns that cum with being a cumdump (said cum lol) as well as being poz. And here is the other. The men don't care. If you find a man to pimp and whore you out to his buds there is a chance he might care but a chance he might not care. His buds might be giving you herpes, ghonerra, several strong strains or viral loads and if you become "damaged goods" in the top's eye or no longer functional they might just toss you out and find the next willing slut.

So yes, I do think it's possible to be a tru-ish cum dump slut and take lots of loads up the booty hole from different random men and whore out or have a man whore you out. But either money is needed to make sure you can function and work (or live) or you need to really not give a damn about your future and life and live for nothing but cock. Some can..but I won't.

I thought that if I became poz I would just be able to go to clubs and have guys over and just take every load and cock and be free. But I don't feel trapped or limited right now. I feel like I do have freedom and choice. Maybe if I followed the cum dump road I wouldn't have freedom and choice later on down the road. But I know I'm poz and it's early on so I can take meds (even though no insurance) to control the viral load and I have a chance to take care of my health and even improve my health and body. I have more motivation and reason now. I have to be more careful as well about being sick and not ignoring things my body is telling me. It's not that I'm afraid that if I hook up with random men I'll get STD's or a strain that nulls the meds. I'll still have BB sex. I don't care what doctors or anyone else says I can't go back to condoms. I agree with the pope about condoms being bad

Even though I'll bareback I'll be more selective about who I do it with. I've also experienced by bbing with others in the past that some men have STAMINA. There have been men in the past who actually satisfied me and I have a really good friend who definitely ruins my hole for the rest of the night and sends me home with a smile on my face and cum dripping out my ass while I sleep. He takes care of himself really well too and he's undetectable. That's another thing. I was never against anyone who was poz but I would generally only do it if the guy was hot. I think I'd rather have sex with men who are on meds as well. Reason is they are more likely to take care of themselves if they went through the time and effort to get the meds and obviously care in some ways. Instead of someone who is poz but not on meds and viral load unknown. There is really no reason someone can't be on meds unless their strain is unique to where meds don't work for them. I don't have insurance or lots of money and it sounds like I'll be able to get meds. There might be some that are better and I might get the cheap ones but..better then nothing for the time being.

I guess more then anything to sum this up. Being poz doesn't make me feel like giving up and dying and it doesn't make me want to become a cum slut or whore. Although, I'll probably always have those feelings or desires. I just know enough fact and experience to know it's not feasible for me for the current time/not worth the consequences right now. But I am young too. It could just take a few drinks and a guy to take me home, breed me and have guys do it too or take me to a club. Or it might just take a weekend in p-house to be in a sling or in the glory hole area to go back to being the cum dump I used to be..or was becoming. I am young I won't deny that. But if that happens it will happen and it will be of my choice. But for the time being (and really..when the hell will I be able to travel..been saying that for YEARS NOW) I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Right now. I want to live. I want to have friends, I want to drink, I want to go out and dance and have fun, I want to enjoy myself and who I am, I want to date maybe and have bareback sex still and maybe try topping more too. To be honest, this might not be how everyone feels when they become poz. But this also might apply to me because I like challenges. If live is so damn boring, work, or things are so damn boring I don't give a damn. When challenged I actually do care and get motivated. So therefore my motivation right now is simple.

Live while having a compromised immune system, knowing that I'll be judged for being poz, having to take medications, and having to be careful and listen to my body. I guess this is enough of a challenge to actually start caring about live and wanting to really enjoy living.

Ahh and one more thing. That long list of what I am. Let's add to it shall we! Gay/Into Older Men/Leather/Bareback/Escort/Poz

Wonder if I can get more controversial or taboo. I'll update this if feelings change down the road.

Happy birthday always open. Sounds like you had a HOT birthday. I agree that I've rarely had sex on birthdays so more credit to you.

Mine was march 6th I was sick. But it would be cool if monthly birthday shout outs were done for all the birthdays of the month. I'm starting to learn that monthly birthdays are better then day birthdays. While it's nice being acknowledged on your birthday by others that will happen with your close friends and people anyways. But what's really cool is seeing how many others share the same month as your birthday.

We actually have two diseases caused by HIV in the public mind: even those who were too young to remember the campaigns have absorbed the first anti-aids campaigns of the eighties and carry the messsage in the heads that "HIV=aids=death". At the same time massive leaps forwards have happened in the pharmaceutical industry, such that many aids support organisations are spreading their brief to include hepatitis C or sexual health in general as HIV is rapidly becoming just another STI as they can't admit that their original reason for existence is there any more. For the first time ever we're beginning to argue about the possibility of a functional cure - it doesn't eradicate HIV from the body but keeps it imprisoned where it can't do any harm.

Barebacking in the eighties and nineties certainly carried that underlying premise of "I'm fucked anyway, so why not?" Let me stress here and now that for me at least, bb was something I'd only do with a small select group of other HIV+ men. There was enough about the "revenge fuck" in the papers at the time. At the time we were fucked: common folk wisdom had it that once diagnosed you had about five years left. Indeed the UK's major HIV charity's advice was to work as long as you felt like it, cash in your pension, go on a cruise or whatever while you you could still enjoy it.

A recent report into the efficacy of condoms (sorry, can't remember where I found it, but it was from a source I trust) concluded that in the end in the late eighties condoms prevented 40% - 70% of potential infections. And this was in the days when you'd finish work, cook several meals and take them round "your guys" before attending to your own needs.

Now, with PrEP, you can get the same results, but at a price: firstly, the cost of the drugs, secondly adherence: look at the number of women who get pregnant while on the Pill, and thirdly emtricicabine and tenofovir are fairly toxic substances in themselves (declaration of interest: tenofovir nearly killed me last year) that I wouldn't swallow just in case I ran across some really hot guy. As time goes on, my bet is that guys on PrEP are going to start forgetting to take their pill resulting in resistance and incomplete protection.

After all that doom and gloom, you decide to go ahead HIV or no and end up getting pozzed. The odds are in your favour in that today's ARVs, taken religiously, are reliable and relatively side-effect free. The first infection is the catastrophic one: superinfection, if it happens, is like hen's teeth. If you pick up a few resistances on the way, there are plenty of alternatives for most people; the number of people like me, on salvage therapy, is shrinking, either through death or the discovery of new drugs.

As Jizzdump rightly says the problem is fear. Last year I was terrified of having a colonoscopy: I was already older than my father was when he developed colonic cancer and there's a history of bowel disease on my mother's side. I'm afraid I grossed out the doctor explaining the procedure: his description had just got past the second sphincter when I told him that so far he hadn't told me anything that I hadn't done for fun...

The days of five years and then a funeral are, thank the gods, long behind us, but living with HIV still takes a hell of a lot of discipline (and not the fun kind). I hear people complaining about having to take three or four pills a day (I take thirty). HIV is heavy on the liver and guts. A functional cure is still years away, current treatment is basically a siege. If you can cope with the discipline the drugs impose, and your insurance covers ALL drugs you might need, then yes, being diagnosed is a liberation. When they told me I had it amongst the thoughts that went through my head were "I won't see the 1999 eclipse... but I won't have a forties crisis... and I can stop worrying about getting HIV"

Really really like your post bearbandit.

My biggest fear of first barebacking and deciding to continue was what you described. I have people close to me who grew up during the time when AIDS was around. Having friend's drop dead, people being afraid to retrieve the body, having special nurses or medical people watch over an AIDS patient because most wouldn't, the quilt and actually KNOWING people who were part of the quilt and the memories, and of course not having to send any christmas cards because no one is left in your address book. These are what people very close to me went through. Not only that but the fact that AIDS wiped out so many men and did major harm to the leather scene as well. I had to read books like conduct unbecoming, and the band played on, watch documentaries and seeing first hand the pain that the memories of AIDS brings back to those close to me just by relieving it or recalling someone.

So you'd think that with all this knowledge and education there is no way in hell anyone who knows about AIDS should bareback and should be afraid too. I do find it interesting that they are trying to find a way to as you said, "seal" or secure it in the body where it can't do any harm. You are also right about if one can afford the medicine, insurance, discipline, and OD on pills that it might work out for them. Some get lucky and live a longer life and some don't.

Now the flip side. What if you can't afford the insurance, you can't do the discipline, or handle the drugs and everything else that goes with it like the stigma and the immunity and liver issues. Should you do it? Some don't have a choice and it happens to them. Some make the choice and some say fuck it.

I guess I'm the stupid one. I told myself that when I decided to continue barebacking that I was going to do it regardless of the outcome because it's not like HIV can be cured. I knew that up front. But at the same time I don't have the insurance, have a low paying job, don't have much confidence or discipline. I've tried and been partially successful at finding ways around the obstacles but more then likely they won't be resolved. It was never my intention to intentionally get pozzed. More like it would just happen all the time. No tooth brush, needle, or blade required. Just eventually it would happen and when it happened it happened. But it's because of friends and people I've met in my life I am able to make decisions for myself. I am able to accept the consequences or results of my actions. And I'm able to accept that if things don't go as I wanted them that I may have no control over it or it might not be my fault or it might. I probably won't be one of the lucky ones that live a long time. I might die a horrible and painful slow death. This scares a lot of people but I don't want to regret what I do. Even mistakes or bad decisions whether I or others view them bad are my decisions and I want to be the kind of person who owns them.

But I'll tell you what. If it does get to the point where it's really bad and it doesn't look like there is much left I will live it up. Life is too short to just give up and die. But at the same time life is also too short to get yourself a disease that potentially shortens your lifespan. But everyone makes their own choices.

Again, thank you so much for your post. It brought back the memories, experience, and knowledge that I was taught and that I know people have gone through. It just further strengthens my resolve to do what I do and be own it. It's not going to be easy telling certain people what I've done and I'm sure that anyone who takes the time and effort to try and help someone make the right decisions, stay safe, and be smart will so this as a smack in the face to them. But again, it's my decision.

Now that I think about it. It's probably not becoming poz that frees you. It's accepting everything about it and yourself that frees you. But then again, you don't need to be poz to do that.

Whee this is something I can answer.

It went in stages for me. First was the relationship stage. Wouldn't have bb unless in a relationship. Was in a poly and took the other men's raw cock and cum while that lasted. But it was strange because back then I did not think of it as "taking their loads", "filling my ass with cum", or "raw cock". It was just natural and what partners do. The only reason I started barebacking outside was not only because I was stealthed/tricked by a hook up but also because the former relationship became so empty in more ways then one and sex was also non existent that I was allowed to play with others and every time a guy put his bare cock near my hole a part of me inside would tremble with fear...and excitement. But I had such a strong resilence back then about always playing safe and always checking. But as sex with the former partners decreases month after month to years that resilience was weakening.

After taking random cock and cum decided only to try it with select men and to be sure they were negative. And that assurance required only verbal confirmation with proof being nonexistent. To be a young fag. Then it shifted to as long as I asked the guy his status and he said he was negative did not care if I was really into him or not. Just wanted the raw cock and cum. Then after taking my first undetectable cock and load I learned about undetectable men having a lower viral load and by knowing their status it was safer.

I did for a short time just seek undetectable men and think that by having sex with them I'd be less likely to get infected. But then it shifted to just taking every loads and not asking. The logic by taking any load is there is no more logic. There is no longer a way to justify "safer sex" or "more preventative" sex. That's gone. So fuck it. Poz, neg, undetectable it diddn't matter. Well, even though I told myself that I was still nervous of pure poz loads but took one just to say I did. It wasn't until I actually met a top I thought was actually poz and not on meds that a deep crave and lust broke free and I begged and screamed for him to poz me and take change me that I'd take his load. After that I realized how I actually do WANT poz loads but still secretly denied it especially after learning the guy was on meds. But I couldn't hide that urge anymore and did go after a poz guy a few weeks ago. Poz guys really aren't that hard to find don't see why some people think they are.

After that I really diddn't care about status more so then I said I did before. It's easy to say something but until you fully realize or understand it you can't truly mean it or accept it fully. And the newest is that I believe I probably am poz. I've taken so many loads up my ass and raw cock I'd be stupid to think I'm neg. So I'll freely admit unsure or don't care instead of neg. But some part inside wanted me to choose who pozzed me since I knew it was going to happen anyways. It's not that I was bug chasing it's just that it started from being too cautious and worrysome to being an all out whore. The poz attraction was probably because it's taboo. Just like bb sex is to begin with. The more "gasp" and "stigma" is put on "poz" and "bareback" the more taboo it comes and the more desirable it becomes to certain people.

But basically I did start off with a single HIV prevention strategy. Condoms. Once I left that even though I tried to tell myself, "well if I just adjust this, or do this, or don't do this I can still be neg" I knew deep inside it was false sense of security. After every revelation the delusional idea of "staying neg" was shattered and the truth was brought out.

But I will say another thing about it. I find it very interesting how it could very well be all along this is what I really desired. It's kind of interesting thinking of something being so horrible or against your will when maybe all along it's a deeper craving and need that you could ever hope to control.

Fuckboy20 - Take it from someone that knew someone that did Meth all the time down there in Fort Lauderdale, it's EASY to score there - there are a TON of Meth dealers down there, it's like it grows on trees. Yes, if you are not looking for it you will never see it - To me my first few ventures to Fort Lauderdale it was like "another day in paradise" - Once you find out about Fort Lauderdale, it's like the Wild West, full of crime and drugs.

Clubhouse II is the BEST place to go when down there. I scored 90 loads between Clubhouse II and guys I meet on BBRT, asspig and bear411.

Oh? I don't doubt the whole crime thing. I heard that down in Miami crime can be bad down there. Same as in Ft. Lauderdale. Don't even know if wilton manor is a bubbled area. But I did get warned constantly to NOT take your wallet with you. That men when having sex with you while swipe your wallet or cash. We know someone who it happened to. I only took cash and ID with me to slammer. I hear date rape drugs or mickies are used at that leather bar. Why the hell can't I remember the name of it had so much fun there.

Yes clubhouse II was awesome. I was only there for like 3 days. I took on day off to shop and explore the town. The other two were heavy on sex. I probably got about 20 something loads although. Fuck, how long did you stay down there to get 90? I'd assume clubhouse II is where you got most loads but I've met some tops that are an endless fountain of cum. They don't stop until nothing else can fit in there and sometimes that doesn't even stop them.

It is funny how different peoples experiences and perceptions are, and that is OK. I personally do not like Clubhouse 2 at all. It is a tired old bath house. I have never had a good time there. Slammers, on the other hand is a blast for me. I don't drink so the bottle club thing is not a problem for me. But you do have to go there with a piggish attitude. If you go there looking for "Mr Right", you will leave without shooting a load or taking one. You go there to fuck. The other bath house, The Club, is a waste of time, unless you like hanging out in a steam room all night and the smell of chlorine.

To each his own. Either way, Ft Lauderdale is hot.

You are correct. People's experiences and perceptions are different. After reading a bit of your profiles and posts you seem like a natural exhibitionist. You are comfortable with what you are and who you are and you have the correct attitude for a sex club like slammer. You are absolutely right about a piggy attitude and just wanting loads and sex and not "mr. right.". However, not everyone is looking for Mr. Right. But some people aren't also willing to give up or are able to give it up as easily and freely. Also, I am always a tad bit nervous when going to new places. I'm sure I was a dead giveaway. I'm glad that you are able to have a piggy and sex attitude. That is something I am trying to work on. I guess it comes with age and experiences. I know one thing's for sure though it doesn't matter how many loads I take. That won't change the attitude.

What I really like about clubhouse II is that it's laid back with the semi lounge area, it's cruisy, it can be relaxing, and there are some dark areas and the traditional rooms. I like a good combination of all that. It lets me know that depending on how I am feeling the atmosphere and environment can cater to most all. Slammer is more then likely something I'm not ready for. Not where I am right now. If I went with people I knew or a group I might be better. But on my own more then likely not. And I understand that not all guys like the artsy fartsy or classy gay type sex club. I love a sleazy sex club in Atlanta over the nicer looking one. Guys are much more laid back and horny then the other one where they are a bunch of tina dicked pricks. At least they are pretty to look at though. The dicks I mean. Oh wait...

But you are correct Ft. Lauderdale is hot and I think they have something that suits everyone. I did not go to clubhouse. It looked relaxing though.

Fort Lauderdale is ok...met few guys on bbrt and had fun at slammers.... Only negative point is room where bottoms r lined up should have a bit more light as I like to c who I'm fucking....there r some issues with drugs but that is almost everywhere unfortunately.... The resort I stayed at the windamar was full with old guys and out of shape men.... Big disappointment! Guests at resort I stayed in last summer in Palm Springs were a lot younger and in better shape....would I do FLL again? Maybe.... But then I would stay at the grand resort .

You are really just repeating yourself and the key words, "disappointment", "asians" "need sex in light" and "young and hot guys are sexy older guys that are out of shape aren't."

We get it..

@Agent Colby and Pig Bottom (not using quotes since your ideas are shared)

I understood the BYOB thing after that night. Especially seeing the alcohol behind the counter and some men getting mixers. It was also explained to me by someone too. I'm actually kind of curious what you think of the fact that they FORBID cellphones. I don't think it's a bad thing. There are some mixed feelings about it but ultimately it puts your head in the right place.

What I wanted to reply to both of you was about the "people" and "it getting old". I was warned by friend's "Don't get sucked into it, don't get sucked into it." One of the guys who hooked up with me told me that he moved away from wilton manor and likes where he lives and not being by the bars. I've been told by people at that leather bar (WTF can't I remember the name..oh yeah alcohol) that Ft. Lauderdale (Wilton Manor especially) is almost like a traverse town. People come and go. Someone you might see for a while might suddenly leave or a whole bunch of people leave and new people who come to stay for a while, permanently or visit. Lack of natives you could say. But I guess at the age I'm at where all I want to do is travel, drink, have bb sex, learn more about leather, gay communities, and people a town where people come and go is a vast amount of knowledge. While for some it might not seem that way because everyone is always out and about or just doing the same thing they still have their own experiences from where they are from and their reasons for being there. But I can see why it would turn away a lot of people from Ft. Lauderdale. Living there for a long time probably would be boring..

But at the same time I live in a somewhat gay city currently. I work, go out drink, eat, hang out with friends, stay inside, shop, and have sex. I think the only difference between living there and here is the fact that the area is just a gay mecha. Everything is so close by, it's a strong gay community (seems to be), tons of bars and AWESOME HAPPY HOUR LOGIC, and clubs and gay businesses. Maybe the fact that it's just all in one place like that and "instant" you burn out quicker. I know several people who live outside of ATL because they are burned out by it or don't want to be part of it. I technically barely live in the city but enough to where rent is reasonable and adult stores, sex clubs, bars, and clubs are very close. But not nearly as close as they are in Ft. Lauderdale. But I did find the people more interesting and engaging in Ft. Lauderdale. Especially the leathermen.

But yes finding a job or career to live down there and be part of that life is tricky as well. But it is a DAMN GOOD winter escape. I never knew they had no dancing laws in clubs either. So that's why The Manor was like the only dance club. Wait but there was Boom or something too.

Drugs in Ft. Lauderdale. Never saw it. I stayed in Wilton Manor. FUCKING LOVED IT. Was a few blocks away from rumors, rosies, the leather bar, and some other fun bars.

I went to a few bars while I was there and the people were really nice. Especially at the leather bar..can't remember name. Made out with tons of hot guys, drank piss, sucked cock. Slammer was meh-ish. I guess asians aren't popular in ft. lauderdale. I wasn't willing to "bend over" in the middle of nowhere or over a bar or something so i diddn't have lots of sex at slammer. The most memoriable was a latino daddy who treated me like a whore and chocked me, spit on me, and pulled my hair and my face up to the mirror when he fucked me. Hot as fuck. But slammer was so strange with the cat walk. I saw lots of guys on top almost as if they were looking for prey. And lots who looked like tops if they saw a guy pull their dick out on the cat walk they would bend over or suck the dude's dick on the cat walk taking the opportunity away from the bottom. Bottom disguised as a top on the cat walk where tops generally feed their cocks to the bottoms through the holes. Smart bottoms.

But yeah, I got the usual stigma I get at another sex club here in Atlanta. The way the byob confused me too. I was hoping I could at least get drunk and then not care who fucked, used, me or whatever. Probably better it diddn't happen. I absolutely loved clubhouse II though. It was like a much better version of flex. Met a very sexy bb top bear there and spent some time with him afterwards as well. But the layout is perfect, showers are nice, and I love the hot tub and sauna area. Wish I went back there two times instead of slammer. Don't get me wrong slammer has a great atmosphere but just the guys weren't into me and I felt I had to just fucking crawl on the floor and dry hump a pole to get someone to fuck me..which I'm not ever going to do.

I met a few guys down there for hook ups on BBRT. Some were really cool and one I really hit it off with. None of the guys I got together with seemed like they did drugs. Actually the bear I loved who fucked and bred me a few times lived outside of wilton manor and said he isn't really into the bars that much anymore. He was a damn good fuck and worth going back to visit. I think I saw that some porn stars live down there too.

I think part of the drug problem down there (again never saw it) might be that drugs are HARDER or more EXPENSIVE to get down there. I don't know alot about drugs but I know in Atlanta they are EASY to get. You can't swing a cat without it hitting a crack dealers house or a sleazy motel. Poor cat.

But you wanna talk about drugs talk about charlotte, NC and hell even salisbury. I heard from a lot of guys that HIV+ is high there because of needles. And when I went into woodshed for the first time a guy hit on me used a very romantic pick up line. "Hey boy how would you like to go the motel with me while I slam you, rape you bareback, and invite some buds over for some fun too".

It was a fun bar and I'm cool for everything except the slam, (at the time wasn't into bb and still not into drugs.) but I just couldn't believe how everywhere in that city there was mention of drugs. But damn Ft. Lauderdale how I miss you. Seriously need a part time job down there. I would move there in a heart beat if I could. I hear there is 3 gay resorts down there too. I know someone who works at one of them.

FYI to OP: I have damn hairy legs, hairy ass and crack, hairy arms, hairy crotch, and uncut 8 inches. I break a lot of asian stereotypes. But I think it's more of the "smooth" then the whole asian thing with you right? Could be wrong though. If that's the case I'm not generally into smooth guys as well but i've made exceptions and made one in ft. lauderdale. Big dicked 24 blond haired, blue eyed, smooth, toned, twink boy fucked me raw and bred me once down there. But he was a friend of a friend so that's also why.

Got some bad news last night so drank a little too much. Beyond fucking horny from the alcohol I had someone come over. He was hot but he was also laid back and more just straight dude type. I sucked him for a bit and he put me on my side and fucked me until he bred me. He diddn't get too much into verbal, dominance, or any of the rough sex that I like. But i did enjoy it and actually we have quite a bit in common and hung out afterwards. So who knows maybe we'll get back together.

A friend of mine came in from out of town and I went to his hotel to meet him. Unfortunately he was busy so I diddn't stay long. I was talking to this hot bear on growlr and we decided to get together. He came over and I thought damn this man is fucking hot. When he took off his clothes I realized he was a little bit of a chub. But I don't hate against weight and he seemed really nice and I found him cute so decided to go with it. I sucked his dick and while it wasn't too big it was FUCKING thick especially at the base. And it was hard. he fucked me on my back, on all fours, on my belly, and even on the carpet. I got carpet burn when he was fucking me but I diddn't care he felt so fucking good. I rode him a bit too. Don't know why or how but everytime he fucked me I felt like his cock was massaging my prostate spot on. And damn it felt so god. He finally put me on my back and he fucked me really hard and pulled his dick all the way out and back in a few times until he powerfucked me and slammed his weight and cock into me and I felt his cum flood my ass. Fuck it felt so hot and he slammed my ass a few more times as I milked his cock with my ass. I jacked off four times as we made out a bit, sucked and played with his nipple, and sucked him again. He fucked me again and came once more. He was a very hot and sweet guy and the fact that I'm a bareback slut turned me on. I love it when he talked about tying me up, blindfolding me, and fucking and breeding me and then having other men come in and fuck and breed me using his cum as lube. All while he video tapes it. That fucking made me blow a huge load when he talked to me like that. We rested afterwards a bit and almost dozed off. I think I made him miss work since we fucked for a few hours. But he planned on taking a day off anyways so it's probably okay.

The following morning I got together with the top from out of town at the hotel. I went over there and sucked him for a bit immedietely but he had company over so we cut it short. After I took his friend home and came back over I immediately stripped and dropped to my knees. Fuck I loved sucking his cock. He grabbed my ass and fingered my cummy hole as I was sucking him. He commanded me to get on the bed and I did as I was told. He put my legs in the air, made me take a deep hit of poppers and shoved it in. He was so hard and his dick felt so good but I was a little tight. After he fucked me for a bit on my back he rolled me onto my belly. I took another hit of poppers and I felt his cock sink in me. Fuck I felt him push through the ring. Except he diddn't just start fucking me he kept pushing in to go past the ring. I could feel his cock invading my insides and trying to break through. Fuck it felt so hot and he grabbed me pulled my ass towards him and then I felt it. His cock sank completely inside of me and all I could do was moan. And then he began a relentless assault on my ass fucking me hard and I could hear his balls slapping against my ass. And fuck it felt so good I was taking all of it. It wasn't long before he really pounded my ass and I felt his huge load fill me up and he diddn't even moan or say a word. He came silently and continued to fuck me after. I milked his cock desperately afterwards too. I needed his cock. After he pulled out I immediately cleaned off his cock and then I took a shower. I had to go do some stuff and so did he.

And hopefully more sex to come today.

So last night.

I'm just chilling in my room listening to music, getting some applications in, and organizing and cleaning my room. I got a message from a bareback leather top that I haven't talked to in quite a while. I figure I know what he wants. He wants me to come visit him. But some mixed feelings about last time we talked so I just casually talked to him. He asked if I wanted to come visit him where he was. Maybe a few months ago I would have said I'm busy or something but for some reason I was wanting to. I told him I couldn't at the present time because of traffic and rush hour. I asked him if I could meet him later in the evening. I diddn't hear anything from him for a while so I figured he wasn't interested. A little bit later though I saw another message. He asked me how late and I told him about when traffic ends. He told me to text him. I was really starting to get excited about meeting him again. He told me he was working alone and wouldn't be anyone else there. This also partly excited me. I cleaned my room some more and organized some stuff when finally dinner was ready. Dinner was delicious but I paced myself and didn't overstuff myself or eat too much. I've been doing that alot lately. Only eating half of dinner and saving the rest for when I wake up at noon the next day so I don't stuff myself and I have food for the next day. It's worked out well.

So finally dinner ended and I texted him. I didn't hear back from him so I figured maybe he found someone else or is just too busy. A little disappointed I went back to cleaning and listening to music. After all, I've been kinda pissing the days away and sort of been depressed so I figured I need to get some shit done and focus and not go off and have fun and random or familiar sex. A little bit later I did receive a text from him telling me he is still at work. I offered to come by and he told he'd love me to. On the drive there I was so nervous I was really surprised. My hands and palms were a bit sweaty, my heart was beating fast and my head felt warm. I was really really nervous and really excited. This top is open about barebacking and what he does and about being poz and probably gets heat from others about it. Just like some other open bareback tops. I know everything that the man represents and part of it creates fear but the other part creates desire, lust, and need. I decided I'd go through with whatever the top wanted though. That I'd submit. Why? Because that's in my nature and that's who I am. Except..there are certain men who I want to submit more and give more then just others.

Finally I arrived. Like I figured the parking was pretty empty and so was the place. I liked it better that way and I haven't been there in a long time as well. As instructed I entered and locked the door behind me. I semi new what to expect since I've heard experiences that guys have had with this man and he was pretty upfront in his texts about what he wanted. I entered and saw him. He was looking great. He looked kind of exhausted too. It only makes sense he told me he was working early to catch up. He greeted me with warmth and kindness and embraced me and kissed me. Damn he felt good. I always liked that about him. He has such a warm presence. He was a damn good kisser too. I always get weak kneed when a hot leather top embraces and kisses me. He asked me why I was still clothed so I started to strip for him but he forcefully took of my jacket and short and pulled down my pants. He took my cock which was rock hard and started stroking it.

I'm very particular about my cock. I don't let just anyone grab it, suck it, or jack it off. It's sensitive since I'm uncut and the foreskin goes up far. That and leftover preconceptions as a bottom still exist. But his touch felt really good. He started putting some lube on it. I told him I don't need lube to jack off. He told me that this time I will. Confused by what he meant I just accepted it. He kept stroking me and I could feel inside that I was getting stimulated. Again, this rarely happens. He started kissing me intensely all the while stroking my cock. He took off his clothes as well and I saw his cock rock hard leaking pre-cum. I asked, "Permission, Sir?". He diddn't even respond verbally he just nodded at me. I sucked his cock like my life depended on it. Just to savor the taste, the feel, and feel it go in my throat, on my tongue, and service it. I sucked him really good I could tell he was loving it. He started jacking me off more intensely and I was starting to lose my composure. I got off his cock and started kissing him again. I was really feeling it now and I felt like I was about to blow any second. He asked me, "Where do you want to shoot, boy?". I paused unsure of where to shoot and told him his cock. He replied, "How about my ass boy?".

I was shocked and surprised by what he said. I felt the need to cum even more. He turned around and I saw his ass. I must have seen it last time but diddn't really think about it. Since being a bottom I don't particularly notice a guy's ass let alone a man's hole. I was so close to cumming and about to shoot. He told me to put it in him and I just shoved it in. Probably not the best thing to do but at that instant all I cared about was giving my cock satisfaction. His hole felt so fucking good. So warm, moist, and so tight. He moaned in pleasure and I started fucking him without even asking. Fuck it felt so good. I was fucking the rest of my seed into him and fucking the load I put in even farther. Once I was spent his backed up on my cock even more and just sat on it as I humped his ass some more. Finally I pulled out. He thanked me and said how hot it was. I told him how hot he was and felt. I was already frantically jacking my cock. I told him, "Wanna get fucked again? I can cum multiple times." He was pleasantly surprised. The beauty of youth eh. I was rock hard and I shoved my cock back in his tight ass and started fucking him some more. I instantly came. Feeling more like an alpha male and somewhat dominant then I've felt in a while I was pleased. I just felt the need to fuck, the need to bred, and the instinct to take. Once again, he backed up on me and rode me some more to get every single drop.

And just as quickly as I felt more dominant and somewhat of an alpha male he again surprised me. As quickly as I came out, he turned me over, pushed me on the table and shoved his cock up my ass. Fuck he was fucking me dry. It really hurt going in and I told him I have lube. He responded that he doesn't need lube and get fucking me. I felt every inch of him in me and it felt so rough, raw, and hard. Quickly I grabbed my poppers and took a huge hit. Then I felt it. I felt like my body was floating and his cock was tearing up my ass and I felt the abrasion and roughness of his raw cock in me. I diddn't just want it I needed it. I begged him to fuck me and to take my ass and he quickly covered my mouth and all I could do was muffle as he was fucking me raw and dry. I felt him really fuck me hard and I just wanted to scream out. I heard him start to groan, moan, and I could feel the vibrations of his voice about to yell out. I yelled out, "FUCKING BREED ME SIR!" since his hand moved away from my ass for a minute. Fuck it felt so good as he flooded my ass with his cum..

He fucked me a little bit afterwards just to milk his cock and I milked his cock with my ass muscles as well. Finally he pulled out. I instantly got on my knees and started nursing and cleaning his cock..like a good bottom. He kissed me and thanked me. We chatted a bit afterwards and caught up and promised to get together again. I thanked him and said goodbye and left.

..Just that hole experience. Letting a man..a top jack my cock and submit my cock to him was incredible. Then to have permission to breed him. And then after fucking and breeding him twice feeling more like a man and like an alpha than I've ever felt having it taken away but having a cock shoved up my ass and fucked dry, hard, and rough. That feeling was incredible and for some reason also made me feel more like a man. I definitely have to see him again. It was such an honor too since he rarely ever gets fucked. That he chose me as well. Not only that but it's almost like he awakened something.

When I got home I kept the load in my ass and kept fingering my ass and decided to keep it in. I couldn't sleep and mostly read bareback/poz stories on here and jacked off several times and shot my load so many times I lost count. But I even felt the need and urge to fuck and breed. I was kinda fucking my bed last night just because I needed that warm wet tight feeling on my cock.

Perhaps it's because I've never really allowed my cock pleasure. I used to never let guys suck me or even touch my cock. I'd just go, "No I'm a bottom" or "I don't care about my cock". But that feeling when I was being jacked off wasn't pain and discomfort. And that tight warm ass. Fuck it felt so good. And I just felt the need to fuck once I was in. And now even after. Well, I've always had men tell me and some leather men too that they think I'll be a damn good top one day. Even though they never saw me fuck not that I did at the time either. Maybe I will. But anyways. I'm still particular since I've had some men suck me and I love it and some men suck me and I wanted them off my dick instantly. So I guess it depends on the guy and probably his mouth too. But maybe I'll start posting here when I fuck and breed guys or cum in their mouth. But damn now I'm so fucking horny...hornier then normal.

rawtop is completely right. I'm sure the drugs make it worse but everyone I know has been depressed lately myself included. I have literally just sort of sat or just been in my room most of the weekend. I went out once. I had to force myself today to get some cleaning done and organize some stuff. Luckily, I was able to get together with an old friend which more then helped me feel better. Still feel a little depressed.

I know people keep mentioning ft. lauderdale recently but if time and money allows that is a GREAT place to go right now. Tons of gay bars closeby, happy hour everyday for every drink, and TONS OF BAREBACKERS. And lots of hot sex clubs too. Not only that but the weather was so warm and great it felt like it was summer. I'm missing that warm sun right now. It's been really cloudy mostly and cold and it really sucks. Thanks for explaining the full effects of lack of vitamin d rawtop. It explains a lot.

Heh. Finally able to post. Well I should have posted this the other day but the bi married top who bred me came back. This has been the second time I believe. I love how he looks nice sexy middle aged daddy. We made out a bit and we got to it. I was sucking his cock and he was playing with my hole. I realized I left my lube and poppers in the car. Fuck. I told him not to worry about it though. I found a little bottle of lube but barely anything in it. He put me on my belly and he started fucking me. Fuck it hurt since he was basically dry fucking me but I had to just take it. After he started roughly fucking me for a bit he pulled out forcefully and put me on my back. I wanted his dick so bad and was amazed it was able to partially slide in despite no lube but a little bit fearful too. But I diddn't have much of a choice and he pushed the dick head in and it slowly went in. I still had a bit of resistance and pulled away from him a little. My attempts failed though because this man wanted my ass. He pulled me all the way to him and I could feel his cock go completely in and I yelled out. He really started fucking me then and I was in such lust and in horny bareback bottom slut mode that I wanted him to fuck me. I asked and begged him to fuck me and he fucked me. He really start pounding me and told me he was going to cum. HE told me how fucking good my ass felt and how he loves my ass. Also using a little verbal as well. Before I knew it he shouted that he was cumming and going to bred his slut and I felt his cum flood my ass. Fuck it was a huge load. While he was still fucking my the cum deeper in my ass I jacked my cock frantically and rocked my ass back and forth on his cock so fucking horny and needed as much cock as I could get in my ass. I came shortly and felt my hole tighten on his cock. First load of the day. He pulled out and I serviced his cock that was STILL dripping from cum and he gave me a kiss. He cleaned up and left and with the promise to get together again. After he left I got showered and went to the sunday brunch. It was a damn good way to start the day.

I had an even hotter experience happen tonight but I'm going to reflect on it completely before I post it. But damn I still have his load up my ass and can still feel his cock in me. Fuck...

Heh.

Another one. So feeling a bit full from dinner I was just relaxing. I got a text from someone who wanted to meet me earlier. I hooked up with them a while back. Huge cock. So I decided to go over. I went over and we made out for a bit and then I stripped and got on the bed. I serviced his cock bringing his huge dick to life. I sucked on his nipples and licked his balls too. Once he was good and fucking hard and long he put me on my belly and I took a big hit of poppers in anticipation. I took it very easily and felt his huge cock sink in. Fuck it felt good and he fucked me pretty fast and held me tight while fucking me. It wasn't long until he was shouting and breeding my ass. Was fucking hot. After he bred me I sucked his cock clean and we rested for a bit. I decided to start sucking him again and could tell he was getting excited. I played with his nipples, made out with him some more, and licked his balls again. Once again, he was hard, long, and ready. I got on all fours and took a huge hit of poppers and felt him slide in. The cum inside once again made such great lube. He pushed in all the way and held me in place so I couldn't move. Fuck it was hot. I couldn't do anything but take his huge long dick. I bucked against his dick as well since I was so horny and loved as he pounded me. Eventually he came once again. I got cleaned up this time and so did he and I thanked him.

Had some more opportunity for dick tonight but was a bit tired so decided not to. Rather get an early start tomorrow

Hehe I had fun yesterday.

Hooked up with the regular bud of mine. We had lunch and then we played. I really calmed myself completely so I was able to take his cock. He was fucking me very slow and deep which I surprisingly liked as well. But after a while he put me on my belly and really started fucking me hard. I was able to completely relax and take it. I was begging for him to fuck me harder and breed me. He shot pretty deep in my ass and continued to fuck me after he bred me. Finally I was able to take his 9 inches with no problem. It always feels like he re-arranges my insides when he fucks me. But I still take the fuck. Just glad I was able to completely open up this time.

The next day (today)

I woke up late this morning and got a message from someone on bbrt. He came over and he was a hot hot older daddy bear type. We immediately started making out and he was very forceful with me. He would constantly guide my head, ass, or body where he wanted them to be. He had me suck him which I loved doing and he face fucked me a bit. He put on my back and while making out with me started to push in. No lube at all and dry. I started to say something but he told me he is just playing around right now and he won't fuck me yet. He put it in all the way and I felt it sink in deep but was somehow about to take it. He started fucking me very slowly and then he pulled out instantly to get the lube. He had me take a hit of poppers and then slammed his cock into me and started pounding me. I loved it. I begged him to pound me and fuck me all the while he kept telling me what I good boy I am and how he loves fucking my ass. It wasn't long until he told me he was going to cum and breed me and I felt his huge load fill me up. He pulled out very fast and thanked me. I sucked his cock after he pulled out and tasted my ass and noticed he was still leaking. While sucking him I came myself. He got dressed and I gave him a final kiss and he left. Definitely want to see him again.

Someone I hadn't played with in a good while contacted me asking if I was free. After getting some things done I decided to go over there. He has crazy lights in his play area and fog and smoke machines so he hasn't changed since I last saw him. He had to do something so while I was waiting I watched the hot porn that was playing and got myself hard and horny. I was humping the bed, rubbing my cock, and just in fucking heat because I was so horny. He came back and put my legs over his shoulders and started pushing in. I already had a load in there so he was able to go in. He fucked me for a while with just the cum as lube and I was loving it. He then pulled out and put some lube on and I took a few hits of poppers. Fuck I could really feel him inside me at this point. I was trying hard to adjust since he had a pretty big cock. Finally I took a few more hits of poppers and I felt him sink all the way inside and I loved it. I begged him to fuck me, needed him to fuck me, and needed his load. He delivered. All the while calling me a whore, slut, bitch, and cumdump. He screamed, yelled, and shouted as he bred me. Afterwards I got in the shower and emptied the two loads I had.

Damn Planopitch. I don't know but something about the way you wrote that makes it sound really hot. Excited me anyways

So got more loads today. Hooked up with a very sexy bear earlier in the afternoon. I think he was nervous or something so I just ended up blowing him. Very sexy guy though and very smart. I definitely want to get together with him again.

So my Scottish daddy bear that bred me a 3 times yesterday was online this morning. He asked if I wanted to get together at 3 so we could go out and I could show him the bars and around. I prepped myself in the morning, (it was mostly all cum and smelled like cum..kinda hot to be honest) and after I took care of that quickly I ate some breakfast. I had that bear over and we played for a bit and then had a good conversation afterwards and he left. After he left I made some grilled shrimp for lunch and headed over to see him.

He was already waiting and I picked him up and we drove. We went to several bars. Hell we basically..no we did go to every single GAY bar in that ansley area. Well more like near burkharts but we hit them all. I actually really liked some of the ones we went in and might start going more often. But that's not what this post is about. We had dinner too at the same bar the previous night and then we headed back to his hotel. I was beyond drunk. With what 4 cocktails and I got a different cocktail at dinner. I was advised not to mix drinks but I did anyways. After dinner I was beyond drunk. But I drank lots of water so that helped. Scottish daddy had to drive me back to the hotel. I was horny though. We picked up poppers at a gay adult store while we were bar hopping too.

I started off by kissing him, sucking his nipple, and then sucking his dick. Once he was good and hard I lubed myself up and lubed him up and straddled myself over it. I guess being drunk got me overexcited but I accidently took too much at once. He popped in me completely. I yelled out in pain and he kept me still and gave me a hit of poppers. It really hurt but I felt the poppers start to take over and noticed my dick getting hard and he started fucking the ass that he just broke in. I started riding him as well since I really really love sitting on a man's cock and riding it. I really loved getting fucked by him and used my ass muscles and felt that he was close to cumming. I jacked my own cock as well and he bred me as I came. I felt my ass tighten up on his cock and felt his load flow into me. After that we kissed a bit more and he was hard again. This time I was on my back when he fucked me until he flipped me over onto my belly and really pounded me. And again, I got another breeding.

We were both pretty drunk and tired so we drifted to sleep. I woke up about 2-ish something. I saw Scottish daddy still asleep so I went to his crotch and started slowly nursing his cock. I heard him groaning and moaning until I felt him start to get hard and he slowly woke up. His groan and moans continued even more except now he was fully hard and more awake. With no cue from him I took the spunk lube, put a little around my ass (already had cum inside as lube) and some on his cock and sat on his cock. It diddn't take him long to cum but like before I came with him. I went back to laying next to him after but his dick was still hard. I am completely serious here that FOUR MORE TIMES I sat on his cock and he bred me each time and I came each time. I couldn't believe it. 5 extra times he bred me. It was amazing and I don't know that many older guys that can do that. I really loved riding on his cock too. Like I said I fucking love that. Finally the fifth time he started to go soft. I love the way how he said, "Oh..it's settled down huh.". We went back to sleep after that.

I woke up again around 4 am not able to sleep and still somewhat horny. I just stayed awake until 5 and I decided I'd wake him up again. I sucked his cock again but this time I sucked it completely. He shot a huge load in my mouth and it tasted pretty damn good. He was right he shoots big loads. That was it though after that. He was still tired so I left since he has to get ready to leave this morning.

So 7 loads up the ass and 1 load in my mouth. The same as yesterday. And cumunion is today. Haven't decided if I'm gonna go yet though. If I do I'm going to be a total fucking bareback bottom slut if I go. Meaning, I'll go with loads already up my ass as lube. But like I said haven't decided yet.

My first trucker was on I-94 outside Chicago at a long gone truck stop. Back then the men were men and no one was asking any questions. I told them I was 18. I am not sure I was 16 yet. I had a pick up truck and looked the part.I had a lot of adventures in my youth. I remember me blowing a load into this hot daddy in his sleeper. back then they were small. Two days latter i saw him at the beach with his fat wife and brats. He told his wife he had to go to town and we went down this trail between the dunes. Hot sex for a few hours. Nice fat happy cock. I know I dumped a couple of loads in him in that perfect ass. Latter I hear he got divorced and hooked up with some other bitch. They don't make men like that any more. I see him once in a while around town as he moved to the shore. Still got a bitch and more kids.

That's kinda hot that you fucked a married trucker like that. I know some guys who go after trucker ass and love fucking truckers. And I know there are a good amount of trucker bottoms. Still enjoyed the trucker I did it with. Sucks that he was actually in town last week but I missed the chance to get together with him. Oh well, he said next time he comes back he'll let me know. I've seen a few truckers advertise on craigslist recently too. I've actually been in the mood for trucker dick recently.