tallslenderguy

Left about 20 minutes ago... then had to run outdoors and cut and edge the lawn before it rains. That's about the happiest lawn mowing experience i've ever had. my FB... idk, i think he may have a thing for me, He bred me every day last week when i wasn't working. He's wanted to breed me on work days too, but after 13 shifts i'm worthless. He on the other hand will work all day doing heavy construction, come over and fuck me like a wild beast, then go a lift weights for 2 hours afterwards. We've definitely morphed over 5 years of 3-5x a week sex. It's the longest ive ever had a FB, and it never gets old. He's so verbal when i'm doing oral on Him, totally keeps me ramped up with His obvious pleasure, then always finishes with breeding my ass... and damn, He's soooooo good. Mysteriously quiet when He's fucking, though His hands and kisses on my back communicate a lot. Pretty sure i'm pregnant.

Just left... third day i a row. Guy does a 2 hour work out every day after work, then either wants to breed before or after the workout. It's year 5 that He's my FB, and it's changed up a little, but always ends with Him breeding me. He loves to be sucked and rimmed, and His body is a solid rock of muscle. It seems the more i suck and rim Him the more primal He becomes when He fucks me, this massive muscle guy just pounding the fuck out of my ass, but then He touches and holds me at the same time in a very gentle way, kisses my back.... it's a crazy making mix for me, drives me kinda wild and i have all sorts of sounds coming out of me as i grasp at the headboard and bite my mattress. He keeps wrecking my hole and leaving me wanting to drip... but i hold it all in. love absorbing Him.

i was going to start a new thread with this, but i think it can fit here.

nanana, i so appreciated your response to my response, both here and back channel. For me, it was near perfect because of the degree of openness and vulnerability you showed. It's likely just semantics, but i don't think the issue is one of "turning science into a faith," as it is turning science into a religion? my guess is we likely agree, semantics aside? i grew up religiously conditioned and it took me half my life to process out of it. my belief was conditioned, but sincere. i think what often passes as "faith" is really the opposite. In my case, i was conditioned by a fundamentalist mind set (which i have since found can be a part of any 'ism') that, though it uses the verbiage and makes claims of faith, instead equates belief with knowledge. And not just progressive type knowledge that science (ideally?) pursues, but an absolutist notion of knowledge that ends up making human perception into a 'God.' my process did not lead me to a place of disbelief but to a place where i could honestly and openly see and say: "i don't know__________." Neither belief or disbelief, but a but a place of ongoing, open inquiry. That has been the most freeing thing in my life. When i was nearing the end of my process out of a fundamentalist approach to life, i found an email address for Noam Chomsky one day and sent him an email. He responded... the same day. We had several emails back and forth, and one of the comments he made was: "it's impossible to live without faith" and he went on to explain that he put's "faith" in the scientific process, but i detected no religious zeal, rather a comfort level that allows for questioning and not "knowing." His parents were both religious scholars, and he decided to go a different direction when he was only 13 years old. Which is really a tangent to why i bring this up. He helped my in my process out of fundamentalism, not because of that comment, that was a place i had already come to on my own, but because of who and how he is/was. i threw myself into religion at the age of 14 when i realized i am attracted to guys, and religious conditioning was the only 'answer' i knew. i sought out "God" always, and solely for many years (which in the end ended up freeing me from 'God' -another story). At some points in my attempts to de-gay, i sought out the help of religious authorities, writing letters where i poured myself out, and never, not once, got a response. Fundamentalist christianity teaches that there is nothing "good" or "loving" apart from "God" (i.e., their idea of "God"), and yet none of these people displayed kindness or love or had answers that would help me conform to their/my conditioned notions of "God." On the other hand, this complete stranger who had every reason to dismiss me and not worth part of his busy schedule, instead was open and kind and vulnerable with me. It wasn't anything he said, but who and how he was that ended up exposing and obliterating the conditioned notion that only those who 'properly follow God' are capable of wonderful things like good and love.

In keeping with the site (and situation?) i confess your response gave me a hard on... have fun considering that one coming from a guy who generally feels/seems wired 'total bottom.' Really my version of a "hard on" is being attracted to a guy in a way where i'd like to be impregnated by him and thereby connected/bonded to him... i now feel engaged and accessed by you vs shunned, locked out, judged. You received what i wrote so beautifully, and exercised grace towards my flaws and ragged edges. i love the written word, but i also realize that much of our human communication relies on other senses like tone, visuals. The lack of those can become pitfalls when it comes to written exchange. It's so easy to put our own voice, tone on something written instead of being "LESS judging." i try and want to remember that in any given moment, i have, we all have, the choice of being an ass or an angel, or an infinite combination and variations of those mixed. i believe things like "pompous" are not a permanent state for me or anyone else, but a momentary choice, and maybe more often than not, a reflexive vs reflective expression? i don't doubt that you have friends who like you, my guess is they have experience this 'side' of you. Your explanation of "one of [your]... reasons" makes sense to me, and i find myself taking your idea and applying it to the video. I.e., maybe disect it more thoroughly and try to parse out the 'good' and 'bad?' For instance, i think she did a stellar job being non partisan. i found myself undecided after watching it whether she voted Republican or Democrat. And in that respect, i found my self smiling at your question of where the listener lands (i.e., identifying as of smart and not one of 'them' stupid people). i felt like her inclusion of self (should probably watch it again) managed to make her argument for critical thinking universal vs partisan. But then, i tend towards hope and optimism, so it could be my own voice-over i heard. i agree that we live in a highly charged environment right now, so ditto "difficult." One of the things i love about the pure scientific approach is the acknowledgment that there is no such thing. That "this is what we (think) we know right now, but (always and forever) further studies are needed." To me, the joy and benefit of honest debate is the tacit understanding that either or both can be wrong or right or a combination. We are finite living in an infinite universe (it seems given current perspective?) It's an open eye and ear approach, meaning we are still looking and listening vs trying to force an absolutist attitude, and incumbent ideology, on our self or anyone else. i work in healthcare, so i'm faced with the wonders and flaws of science on a routine basis. i often express to patients that medicine is often killing an ant with an elephant gun. i love the Star Trek character Dr McCoy who is often declaring medical practices from our generation as "barbaric." A good example is sepsis. We know what it looks like, and it's a deadly condition. When someone presents with the usual suspect symptoms, our first response is to take blood (for culturing), then to give fluids, and then we blitz the person with broad spectrum antibiotics. We are learning that those antibiotics also kill of scads of beneficial bacteria in our gut that we live in symbiosis with. But sepsis is deadly. If we don't use this shotgun, the person dies. Two days later, the cultures may help us refine our antibiotic approach, but it's not ever a specific bullet to the head of just one offender, it's just less broad spectrum. So the notion of "do no harm" is a nice dream and goal, but the truth is, we know and see in part. i think this is true about life in general. i think we all, ultimately, have to stand by our self assessment in order to qualify as a functioning individual. As i see it, that is part of what gives you value for the rest of us... and vice versa.

While you assess yourself as self critical, you present as self congratulatory for being "one of the few questioning themselves" while you separate your self from, and judge as less than, those you deem "the great safe majority." i wonder if you watched and listened the whole video (or any of it) or just are just using it as a presumptuous jumping off place to assert your superiority, telling others to "face it," as though you can see into them and accurately assume their response. Maybe thinking of, and presenting yourself as one of the few, is self isolating and makes you come off as "boring." Self assertions that you are "pretty good at seeing pros and cons," is not evidence of you being "pretty good at seeing pros and cons." Assertions of "dig[ing] Deep down [in]... research," is again, a self assessment. It may be you are using a teaspoon to dig with, or a massive mechanical backhoe, but in the absence of published results, you are your only peer review. There is a saying, "one who would have friends must prove their self friendly." You do not come off as "vulnerable" or "friendly" to me. Perhaps you feel alone because others see you similarly? If you are one of the 'few' you claim to be, wouldn't you be in constant good company with your self and have a perpetual hard on?

Projecting? 😉

i think this is an excellent explanation, and i think she managed to pull it off in a non partisan way despite her concerns to the contrary.

idk, this is such a big and complex topic, it's hard for me to sum it all up in one word: "capitalism." i think life in general, along with all the labels and points of reference we assign for the sake of communication, is always fluid ("evolving"), and the only static state is death... and one can debate if there really is such an absolute state, or if death is just another state of evolution? What is/are the qualifier/s of "entitlement?" That's an honest question, not intended to be a challenge. This is my experience in the American capitalist system. i can see the argument that i grew up advantaged as a white male. i grew up the only non-hispanic in a working class neighborhood. my neighbors were all trades people, and they were evidently progressing. my dad was the child of off the boat immigrants, lost his mom the first year after his birth and was (literally) farmed out to his grandmother and raised on a farm with his grandmother and uncles till he was 12. At that point, his aging and dying grandmother sent him to in Los Angeles with a father and stepmother who he'd really never met or known. His dad tried to molest him, stepmom intervened, but his dad required him to quit school and get a job, so he only ever had an 8th grade education. He provided a life for me that he never had, one where i was secure and provided for until i graduated high school. i had a job from the age of 14, and my dad built a strong 'work ethic' into me (lol, made me do a lot of labor around the house from age 7). He considered me an adult who would make his own way after i graduated HS. i had worked and paid for my own car while in HS, and at 17 went to Canada to bible college. He loaned me the money for my first semester, and that was as far as i got. When i came home at semester break, i found he and my mom had sold my car, and a lot of my childhood belongings, to reimburse himself for the school loan. So, obviously, there is a "God" as evidenced by the fact i only went to a semester of bible college. Still, i was religiously conditioned and became a member of a cult is an effort to not be gay (long story). Got married, to a woman, and worked in the system managing to make my way into executive management over time. i built and ran a business for an absentee owner for 21 years. Took a nearly bankrupt business and 21 years later the owner came to me and informed me he'd sold the business, which was then a 14m a year business. It changed hands the next day. At the same time, i had finally processed myself out of religious conditioning and was separating from my then wife. As a sideline to running and building a business for another, i also flipped houses for 18 years and made a small fortune and was debt free at age 43, with a home valued at half a million, owned free and clear, on 31 acres of 100 year old hardwood growth. The sale of the business, and my divorce, all happened about the same time, and my former wife got everything (another long story). But at 52, i started over in every sense of the word. i found another job running a business for another person, but lost that job during the 2008 economic downturn. That turned out to be a good thing. i lost the job on a Friday, went to check out a private nursing school on Monday, took an entrance exam for that school on Wednesday, and was accepted on Thursday. i was the first person in my family to earn a college degree (BSN).. at age 56. Because of my prior position and making six figures, i had to take school loans at a very high interest rate (9%) to pay my way, even though i was jobless and my former wife had gotten everything materially that i had worked my whole life for (not whining, that is what happened though). i wracked up over 100K in student loans and got my first job as a critical care nurse making less than 30k a year. Essentially, i've worked my ass off that last 12 years, the student loans were paid in full 4 years ago and i will have my current house paid for in another 2 years. This is not an argument for the American system of capitalism, just a short summary of my own experience. Granted, i've worked really hard, and still do, but i do not resent having to make the effort... i'm even grateful (to whom or what, i know not) for what i have and have been able to do. Oh, and i'm a huge Star Trek fan. And i have no idea why i wrote all of this? Maybe because it's my life in this system and i can only speculate how things might have gone in another system. i'm glad i wasn't born in North Korea, but i do think the French, Spanish, Scandinavia, have some things going on that we are missing out on, and i appreciate the discussion.

i think it's near impossible to truly know "what is it with some people." We cannot honestly substantiate a 'ghost.' i think we can learn more about our self than we can "some people," when we have the kind of encounters that we all seem to experience online. There are all sorts of theories that have been bandied about on BZ for years (do a BZ search, this is about the bazillionth thread on this topic lol). Some of the theories: 1) The other guy chickened out or decided you weren't what he wanted last minute 2) The other guy never had any intention of hooking in the first place 3) The other guy got so excited that he jerked off a bit beyond his edge and came, entering a refractory period that you became a victim of 4) A combination of any of the above 5) ________________________________ While any one of those is speculative since we cannot get into another persons head to find out the real reason/s (and even when they tell us, we cannot be certain they are not altering the truth). i think it can tell us something about our self when we consider the reason we attribute to them ghosting us.

Just left... my sweet fb. Damn if he hasn't gone versatile on me, fucked him for the fourth time today, and i really have to psych myself to do it. Just isn't in my wiring, but i care about him and he's bred me 2-3 times a week for going on 5 years now, so it's a really different dynamic. i do it because he wants it, not because i do, so he's sorta tapped into my desire to please. Everything on my body works, but i only get rock hard when a Top shows His desire to penetrate and breed me, or sometimes if He is obviously enjoying getting sucked. my fb gets really verbal when i'm sucking him, really enjoys it, and gets into face fucking me and i can feel His lust and i get hard, and lately when that happens, he presents, so i go for it, but don't stay hard very long, just doesn't turn me on. Weird. It always ends with him breeding me though, which is the only time he's not verbal, and as soon as he pulls out, he hits the shower, so i tend to wonder how he feels once he comes? Still, grateful for him. Our relationship is just fb, we have little else in common, but it's been good.

i'm a critical care nurse in a hospital. i estimate that about 85% of my patients are in the hospital with diseases related to what we eat. While a lot of the symptoms show up as we age, they are often the result of a lifetime. The good news is, the body is very resilient and, given the opportunity, can heal itself. A lot of what is being discussed in this thread is related to diet. This is a great evidence based resource for any who may be interested.

Love, love, love John Oliver. The world needs more of him, and it's encouraging to me how many fans he has. To me, he represents a social counterbalance . Here's a great interview he did on 60 minutes.

"President Donald Trump floated the idea Wednesday of returning some of the savings recouped by Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency to U.S. citizens, with an equal amount going to pay down the federal debt. "There's even under consideration a new concept where we give 20% of the DOGE savings to American citizens, and 20% goes to paying down debt, because the numbers are incredible," Trump said." "DOGE is currently planned to exist only through July 4, 2026, after which the organization will be dissolved." "Trump has not clarified what his administration would do with the remaining 60% of DOGE savings if he moves forward with the plan." [think before following links] https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-floating-returning-20-doge-savings-american-people