viking8x6

Well, I don't know that this is the best forum to be asking that sort of question, but you could do worse - there are a lot of people here who have learnt long ago not to make too many assumptions about what makes people tick.

First off, I would advise you to get some professional help. I say that because you are so wholly blindsided by the situation. This is not something you ever imagined or thought about, and you have no context for it. Some of the things people will say here may be hard to figure, because they may take for granted that you know things that you really don't know at all.

As to the situation, let me take a stab at sorting it a little. Mind you, I may be way off base, but at least you can see how one outsider looks at things:

Tom is your BFF. You've been friends with him all your life. That means, in my book, that you love him - you have strong feelings for him and a relationship that qualifies in human terms as familial. Suddenly, you've discovered that buried inside, you have a physical attraction as well. That's actually a totally normal thing to happen, and "gay" and "straight" don't come into it at all. So cut yourself some slack there.

What to do about it? First of all, you don't have to do anything. You could keep quiet about it and have things go on just as they did. It would simply be very uncomfortable for you. Unrequited feelings also happen all the time. You might get used to it and be able to live with it. You might find it unendurable. But it won't kill you, and probably won't drive you crazy. On the other hand, it sounds like you're in the under 35 age bracket. From what I've seen (even here in rural WV, which is a pretty conservative area), many people in that generation and the one following have much more open ideas about sex and sexuality than people my age (though not all of us oldsters are prudes). So it might be OK to talk with Tom about it. It might even be OK to act on it. He wouldn't necessarily feel the same way you do, but people have sexual relations for all kinds of reasons, not just because they have lust for one another.

So be gentle with yourself, take care of yourself, and work through it patiently. The thing you're dealing with is not simple or easy, but many people have done it over many years, and you can, too.

I'll close with this: My BFF (we met in college) came on to me while were were in college, though he is definitely basically straight. We have played several times, and it has always been a wonderful treat. Neither of us have ever really had the hots for the other. It's been simply a physical expression of love.

Moderator's note:

See the thread above. This is the first step in deleting your profile, so you probably requested that at some point in the past. If you don't want it deleted, you will have to request that the deletion be cancelled. Be aware that @rawTOP (who is the only person who can do that) is recovering from a health incident right now and won't be able to handle it quickly.

On 6/22/2023 at 1:49 PM, PigBoyDallas said:

I guess I'm kinda mercenary, I want to get down to fucking pretty quick and if they want to chat too much I move on.

You're not mercenary, just practical and goal-oriented. Mercenary is when people ask for money.

Fuck man, I love your escapades. Soooo HOT!

31 minutes ago, tighthole64 said:

Vote BLUE! Not just at presidential levels!

Actually, I meant my question slightly differently than that:

Literally, what can we do to dissuade the Republicans from pursuing this legislation in the first place? It drags queer sexuality into the political debate, which distracts from other (far more important) issues that all of us face, and should be facing together. Furthermore, my impression is that the people in power are doing it deliberately in pursuit of exactly this goal. Not that they are morally bankrupt... but if that shoe fits...

8 minutes ago, JeffPigDadd said:

Maybe The Church Lady can answer your question.

Could it be...???

27 minutes ago, Barebacker831 said:

I’m a republican, just more the way I lean politically, and I hate trump so please let’s not bother going there. But I love sucking cock and taking loads, so I really don’t think it has to do specifically with Republicans, just the extremists who fall into that category.

Agreed. So, perhaps more helpful questions to be asking might be:

Why does the Republican Party (and the politicians who compose it) find it appropriate to pursue anti-gay legislation?

and

And what can WE, as LGBTIA+ Americans, DO about that?

Oh, lookie! The latest one saved us all a lot of time by following *me* LOL

16 hours ago, topblkmale said:

What age group would this be?

And would these 'stories' feature any LGBT content?

Most library story hours that I've seen have been populated with kids in the 4-9 age bracket. Younger kids can't sit still well enough, and older kids already know how to read (well, some of them...).

I haven't attended drag queen story hours myself, but I expect they would emphasize age-appropriate content with a message of diversity and acceptance. Certainly, they would not have any sexual content. Sexual content of any flavor isn't appropriate for kids under 10, at least not in our society's code of ethics.

Things like this:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6950253-it-s-okay-to-be-different

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/709381.Heather_Has_Two_Mommies

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/117997.And_Tango_Makes_Three

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/791133.Daddy_s_Roommate

I can't speak to statistics, but a good buddy (and occasional FB) of mine definitely qualifies as a dominant bottom. He strongly prefers being penetrated (dick or fist) but is definitely a dom silver daddy bear in the BDSM sense.

1 hour ago, topblkmale said:

Seeing six year old's at draq queen shows and other adult-centered gay venues or events is WEIRD TO ME!

It seems to me that you're taking a very narrow view of what drag queens do.

Yes, they can be part of an evening of raunchy entertainment for adults. They can put on shows in gay bars. Young kids don't belong at those sorts of things (and nearly everyone with half a brain pretty much agrees on that).

But drag queens can also do other things. They can read stories to children at libraries. They can host gay Bingo fundraisers (without suggestive content) in fire halls. They can be fabulous in Fourth of July parades.

The intention of the laws being enacted in Florida and other places is an effective ban on ALL of these things. The promoters of the laws say it is "only to protect the children", but it is patently obvious that they are flat-out lying about that.

Case in point, the county council of a county near me in WV just passed such a law about drag shows specifically. How do we know what their intent was? There was only ONE drag show regularly taking place in that county, and it did NOT feature adult content. I heard from a source I trust that in this case, the president of the county council (promoter of the legislation) also had a vendetta against the owner of the venue where the drag show was taking place.

^^^ THIS ^^^

is why we need to stand up to these kinds of things.

On 2/18/2023 at 9:55 AM, JimInWisc said:

As a party, it will only come back to center if we encourage members who are more centrist to become more vocal within that party.  

Not to mention members who are leftist, like myself, but registered Republican to ensure our voice in the political debate within our (very red) states.

On 4/28/2023 at 6:35 AM, ellentonboy said:

This was about sexual likes and dislikes, not a Forum on racism.  

To be fair to those other posters, you did put the topic in the Politics forum. And people's ideas about inter-racial sex inevitably involve their perception of their societal experience of race relations.

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

Still skeptical.

As am I. I do think (as the authors state) that it merits further study.

Quote

I can see how a viral influence on libido might generate an increase in appetite for sexual outlet in men under a significantly higher viral load

From a biological point of view, appetite qualifies as a behavior IMO. Q.E.D.

Quote

 I’m also interested to know to what extent the same phenomenon is true of women infected with HIV. If the effect is real as advertised, one would expect the virus not to care about the gender of the host.

Absolutely agree. And definitely merits study. Presumably one would have to do that in Africa, which might complicate things a bit. It appears that quite a bit of the data in the paper under discussion came from African studies, though.

There used to be a feature where adding two blank lines inside of a quoted passage would escape the quote, allowing one to add unquoted text at the end of a post or in the midst of a quote (the latter would automatically split the quote in half, inserting unquoted lines between). It has suddenly stopped working for me.

On 6/15/2023 at 10:58 PM, topblkmale said:

there are NO safe areas in Baltimore that I know of

This is pretty much true. The inner harbor hotels are somewhat less unsafe than most of the city, or were last time I stayed there.

From the POV of a top at such places, this kind of competition and these sorts of behaviors are substantially annoying. Most of us over the age of 30 cannot easily cum more than 3 or 4 times (if that) during a sauna visit of reasonable length. Obviously, we'd like to make them count in terms of enjoyment. Just my opinion. Worth its weight in gold.

20 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

Of course, the data raises other questions. Presumably, the way they know which guys have become HIV+ is that they've been tested and confirmed to be poz. It's not inconceivable that, as hntnhole suggests, realizing that "the worst" that could happen already has might well release some guys' inhibitions about fucking a lot more regularly.

In other words: the question is whether an increased sex life after infection is because of some internal biochemical change brought about by the infection itself, or is it a more or less conscious choice we make, even if we don't really think about it that much?

They actually did control the study for this effect and ruled out this potential explanation (or seem to think they have).

They did it by comparing specifically the newly diagnosed HVL patients against the newly diagnosed patients who did not have a high viral load. The former group had signficantly higher sexual behavior in the 1 month after diagnosis than did the latter group. My understanding (not having picked it apart too carefully) is that this is the main point upon which their claim that HIV specifically influences sexual behavior is based.

It is possible, especially if (as @Lily95 points out), their virus is resistant to the drugs in PrEP.

In practice, for people who are compliant with their PrEP dosing, the number of cases of it actually happening are less than 10, among all the hundreds of thousands (millions?) of people taking PrEP.

On 6/14/2023 at 10:45 AM, ijoey said:

Not my story, I borrowed it from Reddit

You should credit the original author, then.

On 6/15/2023 at 2:03 PM, hntnhole said:

While brief, the key descriptor, mentioned more than once, is the word "behavior".  Not once was there any hint that the actual virus increased wanton sexual behavior, it references more than once a behavioral result of the hiv virus.  I take that to mean that the actual virus is not at all inducive to wanton raw sex with countless men.  The presence of the virus only induces different modalities in how the pozzed guy thinks about wanton raw sex.  

That's not correct. The new article states quite explicitly that the data they have support the hypothesis that high viral load of HIV has an effect on the host that increases their sexual activity. Whether their interpretation of the data is correct can be argues (and no doubt will, given the controversial nature of the subject). But that's definitely what they are saying. Of course they don't have any idea how such an effect comes about.

21 hours ago, Vancrawman said:

there's a multi-part story on here someplace where a college kid goes to his buddy's ranch for break, meets up with the friend's Dad, his brother, various farm hands, all proudly poz or soon to be so. Can't find it now....:(

I think you probably mean this one

55 minutes ago, entrapment said:

So first this site invites you to talk about the [banned word] and then admonishes you for it with their ridiculous punishment points.

This site invites you to talk about "information, tips and stories about barebacking". Barebacking includes a risk of HIV. Some people fetishize this. The site acknowledges and supports both, and provides for free (it's paid for by the ads) a safe space for its members to do so. Not everyone on the Internet is OK with some of these things, hence certain types of discussion are limited to members-only areas. The administrator, creator, and host of the site, for very good reasons he has explained elsewhere, has forbidden certain topics on the site altogether. ALL THIS IS EXPLAINED IN GREAT DETAIL in his topics welcoming you to the community and explaining the rules:

https://breeding.zone/topic/12285-read-this-before-you-post/

https://breeding.zone/topic/64867-read-this-significant-change-in-rules-effective-31/

Quote

As an hiv positive person I have watched hiv become criminalized. 

As he has explained elsewhere on the site at length, the owner is very strongly against this and is extremely concerned about the resurgence of anti-LGBT and anti-HIV sentiments and legislation. He outspokenly encourages people in our community to fight against these things.

Quote

This site won't delete your account when you ask. 

Yes, it will. There are innumerable posts here by former members whose accounts have been deleted. The beginning of this thread explains that process, and why it is deliberately NOT an immediate process. That said, the ONLY person capable of doing account deletions is currently recovering from a stroke, and for obvious reasons that isn't his first priority (nor should it be).

Quote

Seems they are collecting data but for whom?

Of course the site is collecting data. The data you put into it. For whom? The other members of the site, and anyone else on the internet who cares to read the cacophony of "out there" material here, be it inspiring, erotic, disgusting, or tawdry (and we have reams of all of those).

On 6/10/2023 at 8:06 AM, smallcocksissyboi said:

I then lose libido and want the top to stop fucking me.

Why do you want them to stop? Not intended as a trick question - I often will continue having sex with someone after I've come (actually, I more often do this as the top), not because I'm that into it, but because I feel my sex partner deserves some fun, too. In my mind, feeling libidinous is just one of a great many reasons to have sex.

Newtumbl is closed permanently. RIP.

Discussion topic for that here:

On 10/16/2022 at 3:36 PM, JC3275 said:

As a bottom, if i agree ahead of time "don't pull out no matter what," I fully expect to get bred.  Guess that is where a safe word would be needed.  Otherwise, you don't know where the RP ends and revoked consent begins.

^^^ SO MUCH THIS ^^^

I enjoy a good role-play of "don't cum in me" as much as the next guy (in fact, one of my top favorite porn stories is that scenario exactly). But if it's not role-play, doing it is rape, full stop.