RWHID

So it's been a year now since I got my poz results. I talk to my ex 2-3 times a week and he seems to be the one person who is always there to listen, even though he is in jail. He seems to be better than family these days. After having some good conversation with a wise friend, she told me I still love my ex, and honestly I do. I think I always will. He knows that too and I told him about the conversation I had with her. I think I was scared of losing him over this shit I thought it would be best to end it now and move on, or try to move on since that's all I did. I tried with two guys but never forget about him. One said it was okay, the other one thought it was best I forget about him and let him rot. This is also the same person I found out was only a bug chaser and once he realized I wouldn't "gift" him turned on me in a heartbeat. Some friend, right? My ex and I talked last week and if he gets out we are going to try and work our problems out and try to make us work. Neither of us want to lose a year of what we had. To make things worse, my grandpa passed away this past week. We had his visitation today and funeral is tomorrow. I didn't want to attend because I didn't want to see the looks from family and others after the HIV "scandal" that "rocked" the small town. I thought since it was almost a year now maybe it would be the last thing on their minds, and it not being in the news lately would also help. A friend of the family walks up to me tonight and says "I seen you on TV" and gives me a dirty look and walks away. One of my aunts walks up and says "I say be who you are, and do what you wanna do!" and gives me a hug. More dirty looks from people I know and some I don't, until I decided I needed out of there. I walked to my friend's house a few blocks over and got on Facebook only to see the news decided to air an update to his story TODAY of all days, and post it all over their wall and on TV. I have seen it aired twice since I got home. I can already tell tomorrow is going to be a fun day.

Does anyone even receive anything through this anymore? It seems like everyone is a flake these days. That or my post office is stocking up and not sharing... Lmao

Never been one into love making, not even with my boyfriend of a year. When it comes to hook ups I prefer random anonymous sex. It's not really anonymous since we see each other when we meet. I'm thinking once I get back into my own place, buying a mask and a blindfold. Something about not knowing who they are, and me seeing them in public and not knowing it was them, but them knowing it was me they used, has become a big turn on as of late.

I love how the investigators automatically assume the "victims" were lied too. Did they ask if he was poz on the videos? What if it was disclosed before sex? Just because it can't be proven doesn't mean it didn't happen. I have been there. My boyfriend was on the news a year before this one. I didn't take blame until it was too late, and now I've come to realize my part in my situation. The victims all need to take responsibility for their part. They gave their asses up without a condom, they ain't all that innocent, even if the law says they are. The laws need updated. Though, I've never asked anyone if their were poz before fucking me, and never will.

HOLY. FUCK. SHIT. JESUS. CHRIST. Give me the location of your professor... please?? Sooo lucky!!!

Who would compare sucking a cock and swallowing their load to getting fucked like crazy in the ass?!? I love sucking cock, and I always try to swallow, but if I had my chance, I would be naked and ass up by the time the guy showed up.

Doubt I will get lucky from this, but worth a shot. Name: Dustin Number: 573-714-9367 Location: 63901 Availability: Almost Always Age: 30 Height: 6' Weight: 250 Ethnicity: White Love taking anonymous loads.

Seems like he is more gay than anything, but plays the bi card, and when he does hook up with a guy he gets all rage like afterwards, to make it seem as though he is straight. One of them who is gay during the moment and once he is done, he is back to being straight. Lol And not all bi guys are crazy. I have had my fair share of bi guys, and none of them did anything like this.

FINALLY!! Hooked up with two older married guys down from St. Louis at a local park bathroom. There was people there too, but it was nearly dark, and I blew them right in the door way. Was suppose to hook up with a trucker tonight, but ended up coming home early. Sigh!

You are to blame mostly, but some responsibility should be on him too. If he knew he was poz and lied about it, he should know you know, but make sure your sources are 100% first. Just tell him you found proof (if it's real) and ask him to explain why. The person who gave it to me lied to me for months. I asked and the answer was always negative. When he couldn't lie anymore he admitted the truth to me. I have forgiven him though. I see it as 50/50. If the person wasn't aware they had it, then I don't really see how they can be blamed for anything.

I don't like being poz, but it is what it is now, there's no going back so I embrace it. The fact that it's hard to remember to taken medication each day when you're not use to taking any is a bitch. Having people reject you for the simple fact you are poz is an even bigger bitch.

That's how I feel a relationship is about, and should be. I had it with my first one. We had so much fun together, but the lies tore us apart in the end. This last one, he was fun too, but it seemed like he was holding back due to his parents. I don't understand why one would hide who they are. He said he was out to friends and family, but didn't want random people to know he was gay... weird... why care about a random person on the street? If I cared about that I would have never came out officially. I remember once with my first boyfriend walking to the store and a hick drove up and called us faggots... I didn't run back and hide. Maybe he didn't really want to be with me and just said that to get what he wanted from me, which seemed to be more attention than anything. It hurt at first, but my heart has been heart a lot over the years, so the pain comes in quick, and tends to leave fast. I just don't feel like I can do it again though. I'm just going to try and take a break and focus on myself for a change. Once I get into my new apartment I will have any guy over who wants to play, fuck me and hit the door.

I would try to offer some type of support, but it seems as though I'm kinda in the same situation, and it just repeats. My first main BF... I loved him so much... still do, but he hurt me a lot with one stupid lie. We still talk once a week... would give my life to have him out and home, but then I would be dead... he still wants us to be together, and I want that too, but not sure how long he will be away for, and I had to let go for now. It hurt a lot. I ended up meeting a nice guy... who done more lying than the my first BF... and that was in just 3 months where my first was almost 9 months. Hopefully he will come around. Maybe do what he wants, and just be friends now. When he wants sex do not give it to him, even if you want to. If you feel like you being ready for him all the time was what turned him off, if he asks again reject his advances, and say you are just friends. Let him realize you won't be ready every time he wants it.

Yea, Missouri requires you to disclose. That is why my ex is in jail now. I didn't realize it at the time what I was doing to try and stop him, but it got all out of control. He doesn't blame me though, says it's for the best. They did drop the charge of him infecting me down to non disclosure, but one of our friends lied and said he didn't disclose to him, even though they never had sex, I was the only one to have sex with him, and he said he and the other guy only lied because my boyfriend at the time refused to let me be in a 4-way with them and another guy, which I didn't want to anyways, so false charges by revenge. I am planning on moving soon, just waiting for the call to move into my apartment. It's not big, but the biggest one around me I can get up and move too without needing help... I've thought about the annoyance thing... it's hot and I'm sure I'd get lucky a lot... but the though of them finding out and going to police... maybe I should wear a mask. Lol

Before I was Poz I was with lots of people. Over 30 within 2 months, which is a lot for me since I only started having sex two months before that. Since I've been outed as being Poz people tend to stay away or not reply to ads I post. The people I do hook up with offer sex, but once I am there it just becomes oral and that's it, so no I haven't had dick in my ass since July. That's how I am. When my first boyfriend would invite his 3 friends over I would go to the bedroom and not come out until they left. Even small crowds effect me. However, when it involves fucking or sucking I am gung ho and have a blast. Maybe that's why I look for people and am okay with them using me because it lets me be myself for about 30 minutes. I had a thing with a neighbor here, but I think he packed his wife and kids up and moved. I live in a very small town and even the Poz guys from the larger cities (not really that far away) don't seem to want anything to do with me. I have no car right now and have even offered to pay all the gas... no goes.

My bad, I said I was Poz since July of 2012, it was 2013, 2012 is when this person was with the guy who I assumed Poz'd me. Any who, thanks for the comments. If I wasn't the way I am I would totally get out. I'm agoraphobic and have panic attacks when I am out in fairly large crowds. I like to do stuff with just me and that person, which makes it hard to really meet anyone. When I have someone to do stuff with I do get out, but my friends seems to not want to talk to me since I became positive and the only people who do are the ones who just want sex or more, which clearly isn't working. I even suggested not to have a relationship with this last guy, just be friends and go slow and we were cool with that, but this his mother got all involved and said she's having him file a report against me for non disclosure even though we never did anything. He said he was siding with her, which hurt the most. I haven't had dick in my ass since July of last year, it's kinda taking its toll.

I've been Poz since June of 2012 - probably a few months before but that's when I got tested. The person I assumed I got it from lied to me the entire 8 months we were together, telling me he was negative and of course I believed him... he is in jail now because other people went forward and told on him. We still talk when he calls from jail, but I told him last year we had to end it because we don't know how long he is going to be in there, and I didn't want to "cheat" on him while he was in there. He was cool with that and we still talk now every week... I ended up meeting a guy and we hit it off for a couple months and I went to visit him, and things went downhill from there. I guess he didn't like me after meeting me in person. I was ignored the two days I was there and came home feeling like shit. I ended up meeting another guy and after a couple weeks we met up. I really liked him, so we meet again at a hotel. No sex just hanging out and talking about life. He knew I was Poz from the start. He told me it was the best night he had had and I felt the same. We had a lot in common and he wanted to build a relationship and go forward and I was game. However, I kept catching him in lies... stupid lies. I told him if he was honest there is no reason to lie. The lies were about him hooking up with other people. I told him I was cool with it since we were both bottoms, just be honest about it. He came to stay a few days... had lots of fun without sex. Last night he gets caught in a lie again and then tells his parents I have HIV and they flipped their wig. I was suppose to get him this morning and hang out because he wanted to explain his actions, but when I called his mom (who he still lives with, he's 22) took his phone, screaming that I gave her son AIDS and how they are going to have me arrested, even though we never had sex. No faggot is going to ruin her reputation! I was lost for words... I've done but treat him like gold, offered to help him get his own apartment and car, and he says he's going to side with her over me because he lives in her house. He tells me he loved me, but says I make him sick and agrees to file a report if she makes him... This is the fourth person I have tried to build a relationship with. I grew up in an abusive family and had a lot of shit happen to me over the years, and it's taken a long time to get over, and a lot I am still dealing with in counseling. I just want to find someone I can settle down with... someone who doesn't lie about stupid things... someone who doesn't let mommy control their every word and move. I've gotten use to people just using me so I feel like that is the normal thing to do, so when someone wants sex I just give it to them. He was different, but honestly I feel like there's nothing more out there. I'm tired of looking for someone to be a friend... tired of looking for that one person... there's no one out there for me... unless they thing I will top them and Poz them, since the last two guys are both on this site and both wanted to get Poz'd. That's not my thing... and I think they think I will until they get to know me and realize I won't do it, then they just write me off...

It doesn't really matter to me. Dick is dick. I've been with two black dicks before, one just sucking the other sucking and fucking, and the fucking was great.

All I have come into contact with through this thread has flaked out... that's almost 10 people... what gives?!

Never. I love having cocks in my mouth. I could take a cock all day, every day, if I had one to put in my mouth that is!!

Bottom looking for some action. Dustin 573 - four five zero - 0681 - texting is best 63966 Free most of the time, night works best though, can't host 29 6' 250 White

Nothing to forgo on my end, I have no standards. If it's a dick and it wants my ass, it's getting it.

I love the cock. I love sucking, but I love taking loads in my ass. I do more sucking though, haven't had any cock in my ass in almost a year. Fucking prudes. I'm satisfied until they walk out the door or ditch me, then I'm wanting more. I'm already that guy. I've known for years, but only acted on it within the last 2 years. I don't care about getting off when I'm with someone else. I am usually there for them to use and to get them off. That's all I focus on. Some. Depends on my mood. Not really. My ex knew and my ex best friend knew a lot. If tricks asks me I will tell them, but I don't randomly share it with just anyone. Why can't I have both are the same time? That doesn't fair at all. I've always "seen" who I was with. Knowing who they are is another thing. I could careless if it was anonymous or not, if I know them or not. Finding someone that I can spend my life with and we can both have fun with others together, but I doubt that will ever happen, so I will just take the loads and enjoy my freedom.

I was up in St. Louis twice this weekend, should have taken advantage of the 2 hour layover and found some cocks to suck... sigh... still no one around Southeast MO?

I love smelly cocks when they have the odor of sweat all over it, from a man working all day long and not caring what his dick is like before letting me suck him off. I've had one that washed it after he got to my room, but most of them smelt of man sweat, it makes me love it more.