a2malways

TLDR version: Yes! You have been given a lot of good advice in this thread. What I will say reflects things others have said but not all together. I have only recently started barebacking, but the decision was at least partially related to monster cocks. I have rarely been fucked by less than 7.5 inches. I really like the feel of a long stroke and you just can't get that with short cocks. Of course I also like to be stretched so thick is great too. What is a monster cock? I would probably say anything bigger than about 9 inches long and very thick. It is not a coincidence that my first bareback experiences were with thick cocks between 9.5 and 10.5 inches. They just wanted to bareback me and I was not going to say anything to jeopardize getting those dicks in my ass. Relaxation is key. If you are not relaxed you will tense up and it will hurt. Even doing it right, a really big cock can hurt at first, but there is no reason for the pain to last more than a minute. So the elements to allow you to relax: Douche! I can't emphasize this enough. In order to relax while having a cock shoved 10 inches up your ass, you need to be confident that it is not going to run into any nasty surprises in your hole. This was huge for me, even if I thought i was just going to be sucking cock, making sure I was cleaned out just in case. I also like to take an immodium a few hours in advance. Lube is key. I like silicone, but as others posted, if you are barebacking, no reason to avoid oilbased lube. I hate water based lube and how sticky and dry it gets. I pre-lube my hole and stretch it out with a couple of fingers. Patience. I have topped too, and I fuck women, so I am not talking about walking on eggshells for an hour. But if your top can avoid trying to kill you with his dick in the first minute or so the rest can be no big deal. A couple of weeks ago I got fucked by a tweaker with one of the thickest cocks I have seen in my life (remember above where I said all restraint goes out the window when I am offered a huge dick? I normally don't fuck tweakers, but...) He was brutal when he got going, but he had the good sense to take about a minute or two, just pushing the head part way in then pulling out and rubbing it on my hole. By the time he actually entered me I was wide open. Position. I don't know if there is a single right answer for this as I have heard different things from different people. I find it easiest taking the big dick while on all fours. I find it hard when standing up, unless I am already opened up from a previous fucking. One of the things that really opened my mind (and ass) about barebacking was how much easier it was than rubbered fucking. The lack of rubber friction really helps. I really love uncut cocks too, and the combination of a naturally wet slipperey head and the sliding action of the foreskin make getting fucked by an intact cock easier too. I haven't seen anyone mention this, but usually by the time you get to the extremes of cock size, they are not as rock hard as regular cocks. The only cocks that ever hurt me were average to moderate length and actually were thinner than average. But they were rock hard (and wearing rubbers). Lots of good advice in this thread. Take it and you will be fine. Take that monster cock. And if you aren't going to take it, pass it on to me.

If I have some lube I can open up for even the biggest cocks in less than a minute, but if a top slams in hard on the first stroke even a 5 incher can hurt. Once I have been opened up I can generally take an immediate fucking.

Thx again. Nob hill is not too far from my hotel, but not really into the stripper thing. Maybe the video booths. Seems like very mixed reviews of that place. I think what I may do is hit folsom gulch, get some poppers and lube and check that place out. Maybe tour around and try the Brig and Blow Buddies. I probably have time to do that on one or another nights. If I get a long period of availability try to take transit to Steamworks (looked like about 45minutes to an hour) and if not then go to Eros.

@taye Thx. I am staying quite near to PowerExchange, but I figure that the odds of getting what I want there are pretty low. Looks like I am not too far from the Brig and Blowbuddies. Maybe a 10-15 minute walk. Do they at least have lockers or anywhere to place valuables or extra clothes? Apparently Folsom Gulch is near there. Do those places sell poppers and lube? I am empty handed. Eros appears to be too far to walk but not far via cab or transit. I realize it doesn't have douche facilities or private rooms, but it has showers and lockers and areas for sex. I don't mind being public but do prefer to be clean and naked for sex, and have a shower afterwards, so the room is the least critical element. Steamworks is obviously the best option. I have been to the one in Toronto frequently and the Vancouver location a couple of times. But I just don't thin that I will have the time to get over to Berkeley and back. Looks like it could easily add 2 hours round trip. Any input on Eros? Will a trip to Berkeley add that much time? Where to buy poppers?

I am bi and was originally going to post this in the Straight and Bi forum, but 4 of the first 5 threads in there are about escorts. I t just seems pointless to start a discussion there. Then I thought that the subject really has applicability across the community. The specifics are different but maybe others have relevant input from whatever perspective. As I mentioned I am bi. I am in my 40s. I started having sex with men in my mid 20s, but it has been an off and on thing. Almost exclusively oral until the last 2-3 years. I pretty regularly had girlfriends and sex with women, but I might go 9 months or a year without touching another man. The longest gap I had without having gay sex was about 5 years. The longest without fucking a woman was just under a year. I have been in a relationship with one woman for a number of years and we live together. It is a pretty standard story. The first 18 months or so we fucked constantly, had few limits and even talked of swinging. She is bi but not actively (that I know of). But definitely her fantasy life if >90% about women. She seems to have never thought I was bi, but this appears to be more about her stereotypical expectations of how gay/bi men would act rather than anything sexual. She knows I am very open sexually, like to eat creampies, and back when she actually sucked my cock regularly would get very turned on by snowballing. That was back when she might initiate sex 3 or 4 times a week. That has changed. It has been many years since she initiated sex. I am not pushy but I try and let her know that I am interested and willing and available, essentially to create an atmosphere conducive to sex. And while I wish the effort was more mutual, I do try to propose sex on regular occasions. At least 90% of the time she says no. To the point we have sex less than once a month. That really does not adequately describe things, as what it typical is that we might go 3 - 4 months without having sex at all, and then have sex twice in one week. Gaps of 5 months are common, the longest is almost a year, and we had one year where we only had sex twice. We are both reasonably attractive and are perceived as younger than we actually are. I am the same weight as I was in my early 20s. This is not a case of people who have fallen apart physically and lost whatever physical reason for attraction was there. We still have a very close relationship and very much have integrated lives. Breaking up is neither what want nor likely to be easy. So I have started to have more sex with men. And then started bottoming. I have not had sex with her recently. From our experience I could go practically indefinitely without her initiating sex. I know this can't go on forever. I can't expose her to disease, I can't hide forever. She would find it very odd if I started wanting to use condoms. She would be hurt if she found out, but I don't know that she would want to break up. I have always been very supportive of her exploring sex with women, with or without me, and I wish that she had, as I think it both would have helped her and made our situation more open. But I don't know what to do. She can't be happy with our situation but I don't think she actually realizes how sexless it is. I hear of many longterm gay couples whose relationships become sexless but they stay together and fuck around outside. Also a lot of straight/bi guys end up in marriages that become essentially sexless and it leads to extracurricular activities. Often this seems to be implicit of the "don't ask, don't tell" variety, but as an obvious outcome of the death of sex in the relationship. And many of those people stay together. I guess it is also that I have always considered sexual fidelity a strange basis for a primary relationship. I am just as happy to spend my life with a compatible person with whom I share interests, and fuck around with strangers for sexual relief. It is a big part of the appeal of gay sex to me. Others seem to have made this work. Or not. Your thoughts?

Looking for advice and getting details from conventional sources can be hard. I travel to the San Francisco area for work now and then. I have never been able to get to any baths or clubs due to work, or where we were staying, or activities with co-workers. Next time I go I will be staying near Union Square so location may not be an issue. I don't know the city well but it should be very walkable for the mission, tenderloin, chinatown neighbourhoods. What would be the best options for: A facility with full amenities including shower and douche? Public play areas Private rooms for rent No ID policies (baths here in Toronto only ask for ID if you are signing up for a membership) and preferably 24/7 hours. I am really looking for a place that I can slip away to when I have a chance, get clean inside and out, get fucked, clean up and get back to my hotel in a few hours. Places that have areas for pubic play, dark rooms and private rooms are preferred. I an a bit on an exhibitionist but also like to be able to retire to a room. I am also looking to get some pictures of my ass filled and I don't want to be freaking anybody out with a camera outside a provate room. Is the Steamworks in Berkeley too far away? I will not have a car. What about other club/bar/arcade options? I don't have an objection to a bit of a tour: Start out at a bathhouse with full facilities, get clean, hook up, if necessary move on to a club that doesn't have these things. It is not always clear to me which of these places are full baths. I am interested in trying some of the clubs, including ones that are Bi and Trans friendly (I am bisexual), but they tend to be restricted hours and/or lack things like douche facilities. Do you actually get women at these places? Getting fucked while eating pussy would be huge. Also I strongly prefer uncut, which is less common in the US (although the West Coast seems a little more foreskinny). Are there places that are more likely to be popular with demographics that are likely to be uncut?

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I like to be well lubed with silicone lube, but then I also strongly prefer big cocks. I don't get off much on rimming alone, but the anticipation that it is preparation for getting fucked is overwhelming, I have had several experiences of hooking up with "oral only" Tops who swore that fucking was not on the agenda, who after 10 minutes or so of rimming my sloppy ass just reared up and shoved it all the way in with one stroke. And these were 8 - 10 inch cocks