Sharp-edge

[think before following links] https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/feb/15/greece-becomes-first-orthodox-christian-country-to-legalise-same-sex-marriage

That's a victory that means a lot for the rights of all gay (and the rest of the LBGTQ+) people in Greece and I'm really happy about it. It needed the support of 3 different parties (because not everyone from these parties voted for it). The church said terrible things these days for the politicans who would vote for it and threatened them with banish from the church. Maybe we're leaving mediaeval times. Maybe it's time for a renaissance. 

The royal family of UK is often in the news these days due to the health issues of some of their members. I keep on hearing about the royal couples so that's why it crossed my mind. I suppose it must be very difficult to be gay and royalty especially if you are the prince of the crown. Not a common problem of course I understand. So I am curious would those in charge of the royal image (who would most possibly know) try to find you a wife? Would they help you find a lover in secret while you would have the image of a straight guy? I am intrigued by the idea of having some hunk bodyguards to protect me. Maybe you could have an affair like Whitney Huston with her bodyuguard in the well known movie.

15 hours ago, hntnhole said:

That's an interesting point you make.  Lots of guys today weren't around before all the apps and whatever, and had to either sit alone or get their asses out and mingle with the rest of the crowd.  That's how guys used to meet, sniff each other's ass, and decide whether or not to fuck.  Meeting in-person at some bar/club, walking down the street, in some store, wherever they both happened to be, and at the same time. 

Meeting a "Cinder-fella" just doesn't happen all the time in real, actual life, and most of us don't need absolute perfection anyway.  No guy - including ourselves - is perfect.  Having faults, working to better ourselves is part of being human.

Some guys feel just uninterested. Their hunger is satisfied for seconds while scrolling. They may jerk and they get back to work/their lives. This is a vicious cycle that some people have fallen in. I'm not sure if those who call themselves bators actually want it or they are inside a hard-to-realise loop. 

Cinder-fella huh? Never heard of that term before. For me it's not about perfection. I do need to like the guy. Mostly his face and an average body. What I need is to have someone be an inspiration for me. This can tie the whole thing and make it last when the lust fades.

I'm trying to decipher this behavior (of not actually meeting).

Many people seem to be busy. Or act like it. Some people connect and they may say oh you know what I'm not logging in frequently. So I'm like what are you doing here then? Some other people say "I'm not looking for something". But come on you're in a dating app how can you be here without wanting something? And then we have the guys that are too hasty. They want u to go for a coffee right now. Sorry but I can't drink coffee or other beverages with someone because I just like his one profile photo. I need a little more contact than that. I'm not afraid to "invest" some of my time.

Sometimes I think that maybe a majority of gays are having unrealistic expectations. That is why they are not interested too meet in real like. They wait for a prince or something. When I met my guy it was in real life without using an app. I had not seen him naked before I actually get him unrdressed. 

If I could magically change two parameters in the game called love, I would a) increase the percentage of gays (at least three times) and either make gays have realistic standards or make gays extraordinary lovable. When a gay guy loves another guy he has to overcome many obstacles. Is he gay too? Is he sexually what he needs? We end up in small numbers, especially in the countryside. Instagram has made us a global village with hot men sharing their fake life. And some people got stuck in that.

For me love is simple. It takes a glance. When your eyes meets his the rest are on their way. Like a chemical reaction. All we need is bring the two reactants into a reasonable distance.

3 hours ago, MountMe63 said:

That is a bullseye. Most of the millennials I know are only interested in how much money they can make, and they want to work as little as possible to get that. They seem only interested in money so they can craft a perfect lifestyle that shows up well on social media.

I regret to admit that it feels you are right. Was it always like that? I have the feeling that everybody talks about money. I see tens of stupid IG profiles about how a stupid almost sexy guy now has a laborgini and is somewhere in Dubai and wants to share that advice. Everybody wanting to be a dermatologist (among medical students) because of well.. money. Everything revolves around money. I'm not rich but come on there are other things in life to crave.

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

Something that underscores this is the increasing frequency of times when I’ll get a hit on one of the apps saying, ‘wyd’, and I tell them what I’m doing, then ask ‘How about you?” And they reply, “Bored.” So they’ve lost the skills to stimulate themselves offline, and now they’re growing so oversaturated and desensitized to what they find online that nothing online stimulates them either.

 

I always liked to chat with older guys in my first days of the internet. These guys could hold great conversations. And I'm not talking about have me fall for them. You could even make friends. Now it feels like talking to a half-finished AI-based creature.

28 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

So I don’t think it’s that millennials are any less sexy than anyone else, they have just emerged into a world in which humanity has been trapped in an electronic fishbowl of its own design, and now they can only swim in small, unsatisfying circles.

You are 100% right. However I'm a millenial and I don't like all these. What I enjoy is flirting with someone that it happened to meet him outside. My best friend keeps on sending me IG posts of hot guys that he thinks I would like. He is right these guys are hot for me BUT I'm not interested for every random ginger dude out there. I know that there are many hot guys out there in the globe. But these are almost "Fake". Egocentric, egomaniac people that they are half porn starlets and half influences. I'm sick of that.

In Greece's planetromeo spamers are the norm. How to identify them? Hot masculine dudes who are passive with a new profile.

I'm posting also this link for a related article but you can find many others of this topic ([think before following links] https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2023-08-03/young-adults-less-sex-gen-z-millennials-generations-parents-grandparents)

As a millenial myself I recognise this. You can find porn everywhere and sometimes jerking can be way easier. Nobody seems to care meeting people. Some are what I call sex zombies. They want you to meet them right this instant. No matter if it's snowing, if it's 3am, if you tell them you're dying no they don't care. You have to meet them. And when you do they already search for the next one the moment you walk away. But many others are just unavailable. Instagram is full of half naked half-unclosetted gays who don't actually do something. Many of them also have Twitter where they just show their body and genitals and many also have onlyfans. Whoever has a dick sees it as a means of making money I'm afraid.

The only type of people that I think are relatively easy to meet are those who like to bate with someone else.

I always thought I had a tendency of being horny. As a person who tends to overthink, I started to overthink about it. I discovered that it's not the desire for sex that drives my lust. I'm not even sure if lust or the feeling of being horny is my driving force. I always appreciate the male body and a guy in general. His hair, his smile, his body everything can be a tiny trigger for me. But the biggest trigger it turns that it's something different. It's what I feel when a guy that I find sexy smiles at me. It's overflowing. And at the end of the day, we search for thinks that make us feel good. Some times these things are not good for us. We may abuse food just for a small dopamine rush that lusts for minutes and eventually developing bad habits. And maybe the same goes with sex. We feel that rush but we do not feel saturated. We need more and more. There's a guy that I like. I like him quite a lot. I don't even know if he's gay or even if he is, if he likes me. It doesn't matter. Today, after I was not around for 2 days he sent that he missed me, he touched my shoulder and smiled at me. I reflect that moment and I smile like a fool. This pleasure lusts way longer for me than a random hook up, than a silly comfort food snack or anything else. I think everybody needs moments like this. It doesn't have to be anything special, nowhere specia. Just a smile. A touch. It can work wonders.

On 1/20/2024 at 9:54 PM, hntnhole said:

However, I have no faith in magic.  Thus, "faith" compounded with required belief in magic, makes no sense to me at all.  

I think people are prone to have faith in something. That's why they eventually believe things that make no sense to some other people but they are true for them. I'm sure there is an evolutionary reason behind this.

When I started dating planetromeo (gayromeo back then) was the basic website (in my country at least) for that. I was never a frequent visitor there. I would make a profile but delete soon because I felt it was useless. Now (in my place again) this places feels a bit abandoned. People younger than 30 are quite rate and older people are more common but it's the type of profilers with photos back from 2005. Maybe people are using other apps? Or just instagram? Or do they find their partners, hook ups or whatever outside? Or maybe nobody wants to meet nobody?

PS You now how to be a plus member to find people beyond a certain distance or to search for particular characteristics (like fisting or anything else).

8 hours ago, ErosWired said:

would strike me with lightning or something

that would be Zeus, but he's really okay with sex (joking)

8 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Your friend has two things to contend with: His inner battle with his conscience, and his fear about how others will view him. Even if he resolves a fear that God will judge him, a fear that man will judge him may prevent him from living freely.

I can't believe that this amazing guy has been through all this, for literally no reason. I'm sure he would have loved and been loved.

I have a colleague who is the sweetest person I've met. He's also very cute. It's inspiring how much he loves his patients and his job. I always thought he was kinda religious, but not too religious. I mean most Greeks do some Christian things (go to the church in some big days etc) but that is more like something we do because we've get used to. To make a long story short, after many events that I won't analyze, following a difficult shift he ended up crying in my arms. We talked and talked and he said something shocking to me. He's gay but he's not having any sex (or anything) because it's a sin. I think my brain made a soft reset when I heard that. I can't believe that a person who has studied a freaking science for 6 years, and in fact no any science but medicine, can believe such a thing. I've also got the impression that the reason of his break down is that he's into me but that's not my point. This wonderful man is tormenting himself because somebody told him that he's gonna burn in hell for all eternity? And what that sin would be? Loving someone can send you to hell? I really can't accept this, it must be april's fool or something.

17 hours ago, VersGuyAnon said:

Totally understood. I hope my comment didn't sound harsh, as I was only trying to be helpful. Good luck with things. The patient concerned is fortunate to have access to someone like you, who cares so much. 

No it's okay, no worries.

Another thing I was thinking is that bug chasing around that I've seen in the internet. I'm not actually aware if it's just a made up scenario or some people actually mean it though. But this guy is so vulnerable and I fear he will be traumatized despite the best of our efforts not to. His viral load is high af, but this dude is just a shocked and devastated person who needs medical (physical) and emotional support. Not a sex demon that's going to breed "innocent" buttholes. Although based on the fact that he didn't know his status and that possibly he has had sex these years he may have "seeded" people (willing ones or just unaware ones) and he hasn't cum for days (although I supposed he won't be horny given all these). 

2 hours ago, ErosWired said:

As a result if this diagnosis, someone is going to have to have a very frank and candid discussion with this young man about sex, and how his condition will play a part in his sexual life and choices in the future. This may be an even trickier conversation than disclosing his illness, because his young age means his sexual experience is likely limited (though he got the virus somehow) and his understanding and vocabulary of adult sexuality may be unsophisticated, and he may be operating under any number of incorrect assumptions. I don’t know how openly sex is spoken about in Greek society - America, for a country so saturated with sexual imagery, is oddly repressed when it comes to actually talking about it - so he may or may not be nervous or embarrassed at having someone openly broach the subject of how he will be fucking in the future. But someone must, and they must be direct, detailed, and down-to-earth. One of the very first effects HIV has on a person is that it makes his notions of dignity irrelevant in the face of necessity.

So true. I don't even know if he's gay. I should discuss some things with him. I don't think he has a gf/bf because nobody came. Half my job is to make him okay from the virus part and the other half is return him back to society fully functional, not in guilt.

Sex is a weird thing. Religion was the worst thing. Our gods were fucking non stop, boys, men were fucking each others, we had the so called "mysteries" that involved sex between drunk people and now the church of greece prohibits (not exactly because it has power of law but because it has power over politics) sex education at school. Even the HPV vaccine until some years ago was not prescribed in boys. You almost had to say as a boy that you're a horny gay boy that wants to take dick. I'm sorry for putting it that way, but when the indication for HPV vaccine in boys were "males of high risk" I can't think of something different I'm sorry.

5 hours ago, VersGuyAnon said:

In order to help eradicate stigma, terms such as "clean" (even when used in quotation marks) must never be used. The closest suitable alternative is "clear", especially when referring to being clear of other infections. 

 

I didn't know that but I'll have it in mind. It's not in english, we're Greeks so I just translated my thought.

1 hour ago, RubberAustria said:

Reading other posts from you let me assume that you live in Greece. A nosy dominant mother seems typical for a rural area or an island there. Or he is registered as a refugee. Anyways if I am right this boy/young man lives in the EU. So good news- he will get a very good free medical service. Also you seem to take care of him. Thanks for that! Big HUG.

You are right about these. He will have his meds for free which is essential. And from my part, I will do whatever possible to help him (and any other person actually). He's a young man not a boy but his mother gets in the way. We have a "joke" about greek mothers prescribing antibiotics.

52 minutes ago, PozTalkAuthor said:

Most important: do NOT make him perceive you're anxious yourself. Be firm, be practical, empathy must not mean anxiety otherwise reaction might be stronger "if doctor in front of me is scared, why shouldn't I be?" 

If you feel to hug him, just do it; but... Being him ill with opportunistic infection means one thing only: he's been poz for many, many years, never tested! And this might also be a consequence of a too nosy and judgmental mother who thinks to do the guy's own good, causing bad things, then. 

I have no words for such a mother.

I'm not at all anxious about how well he's going to be. He'll be fine. I worry about how he will react to that, nothing else.

About the judgmental mother that's what we're saying too. Maybe he does things "in secret" due to all of the mother's behavior who knows.

The last time that we had a round (going around rooms all the doctors together seeing and discussing about managing our patients) she wouldn't leave the room. She said I wanna hear. I told her to leave and she was most displeased. I don't care of course, but she doesn't care either about leaving us do our job.

5 hours ago, ErosWired said:

”You have AIDS,” he said.

 

Now this is empathy no joking. Why are some people like that? 

6 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Be calm for him. Show him he can be unafraid. There’s no sugar-coating this, so don’t try - simply be practical. This is what it is. This is what it means. This is what must be done; this is what can be done; this is what can be hoped for.

 

You can't sugar coat that, even if you put all the world's sugar on it, I know. What I would like him to understand and I fear he won't because when the word hiv is heard bee wax fills one's ear for the rest details, is that it's okay. He will take his meds, he will be okay. He "evaded" death thanks to this diagnosis. Shouldn't he be with us he would die of a stupid-otherwise infection. But somewhere here he will start to wonder why, he may be gay, he could be str8 I don't know but guilt will start inside him.

6 hours ago, ErosWired said:

You say he is young, but not how young. If he is of adult age, I presume he has the right to be informed if his medical condition in privacy and that the mother, however nosy, has no right to any information he does not choose to give her. In the United States, at least, there are quite specific laws pertaining to medical privacy. Be prepared to be firm.

In our culture/society a mother tends to interfere. Legally you are right of course. She's so annoying, I just ask her to leave and check she's not eavesdropping.

But we need more time than that, maybe he'll start crying or something I need time for him.

PS

We have a nurse here who says that we should put all infections together and wanted it to place him in our cozy tuberculosis room. this woman is a menace.

8 hours ago, RawNerdUK said:

You say the meds are working, I assume you mean for underlying condition...

I didn't know it myself until quite recently, but you can't just start meds on someone with AIDS (because he was in the stage). You have first to make sure he is "clean" of any other infection and then administer, otherwise the immune system will start reacting bad to all these. so it's just for his pneumonia now, but his theatment will be okay I hope.

I'm part of a medical team and we're breaking bad news to patients quite often. It's mostly cancers though or hepatitis (usually non viral) to (typically) quite old patients. But now I have a young patient that is HIV+ positive and I feel very sad about him. His condition was rather bad, he came with an opportunistic infection (as eventually proved). We still wait the confirmatory results (but it really can't be anything else) so we haven't told him.

His mother is constantly around and she's a bit bossy. We haven't tell her either because the moment she will google the disease she will find that it's an hiv thing. I feel so sad about that guy because he will be so shocked to hear. He was always making jokes even when on fever. And now that he has no fever because the meds are working he looks very happy. I have his face glued on my mind. We will have the results possibly on Monday and I'm so worried how he will take this. I have arranged a meeting with our psychologist too because I'm afraid of his reaction. I know it's unprofessional but I just wanna hug him and tell him that we're all there for him he's not alone.

But the stigma is here. Half the people don't wanna be the ones who will draw blood from him.

I am really curious if all these guys that say they were sodomized at young ages or by parents/siblings/uncles (or both) are honest or its just a deep desire they want to believe.

I was fucked at 18 (some days before 19). It was a bit of a rush actually. I wanted sex before becoming 19 for some reason. I was too shy. The guy was hot (but I think I wouldn't like him now at all) but he was a very bad choice. He was acting mechanically, not intimacy. He did not "care" despite knowing I was a virgin. It's not that he was aggressive or something. It was just like he had a work to do with me and that was it.

When I kissed my bf for the first time, it made me think that love, sex, passion or whatever you call it must feel like this. That's why love is represented with a heart, because it makes your heart beat faster. And even lust can make your heart beat faster. But not empty, mechanical hook ups.

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

In my hospital, i admit the patient after the doctor admits them. One of the questions i ask is if they have any beliefs they want us to honor or be aware of.  i have an average of 150 classes of continuing medical education  (CME) that i have to take every year to maintain my license. i also take more classes to maintain critical care certification.  Classes that we all must take, include classes on awareness of bias against things like weight, body habitus, sexual identification/orientation. Of course, this does not change who  a person might be, but the policy of acceptance is there.

I always thought highly of ICU nurses. I've met many nurses who were ehm.. bad. But every ICU nurse I've met.. well they feel fully skilled for whatever comes and I suppose this comes from the extensive training it requires. ICU is a weird place imo. It sometimes feels as a limbo on earth for me. I just try not to cry when somebody dies. I don't think I've seen any sexism/racism there. It's the OR that sexism derives from.

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

A "hospitalist" where i have worked is a general practitioner who cares for a patient. They come in with most illnesses and they get a doctor/hospitalist assigned to them. The hospitalist takes complete care, or may consult and add additional doctors depending on the issue.

Sounds like an internist or a GP to me, I don't think we have someone else for these. When I show up in the patient room, it's because something bad is happening.

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

but lab draws blood using phlebotomists who do nothing but draw blood.

wish we had them too. Here, the residents draw blood, or students. Nurses just refuse to do so. It mostly depends on who is bullying who. I can't bully anyone to draw blood but if the professor bullies nurses they will draw blood. Seriously. This is how it works. I don't draw blood an anesthesiology resident but they call me when every other attempt has failed.

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

take vital signs every 4 hours

usually I do that too 

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

Nurses and doctors get along very well where i work

That's a joke here. The worst combo though is doctors + midwives

Nurses here will either spot a mistake you've done and instead of finding a way to fix it/tell you they well the professor (this is the arc-nurse who does that). They may call you useless behind your back, gay/slut (depends on the mood) and they will not draw blood. 

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

They know i see so much being with the patient all the time, i can spot things like fluid overload and they put in an order for furosemide.

This is invaluable. I have an anesthesiology nurse with me (he's actually still a student in his internship but this is as far as the help I receive can get) who had almost no knowledge of anything practical. I noticed that the problem with him was his fear. So I was always cool with him and I guided him in many procedures. He can even intubate now and he is the best nurse I could have around.

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

Funny story. i had a crush on a doctor when i first started working at this hospital. He was cute, shy. i came back on rotation one day, had not seen him in awhile, and he had transitioned and was  now Julie. i marveled at their courage, but everyone was open and accepting to her. She is one of two transpeople  l know of who work at my hospital. Also a nurse who recently retired and worked in hospice wore rainbows on his badge lanyard. The hospital also has several married gay couples and they can get insurance like  any other married couple. 

I've never met a transgender in my life. I've only seen in the street. I always wonder where are all these people here. I don't know their numbers but I should have seen them somewhere. We are not as open minded I'm afraid. Male surgeons tend to talk about football and female parts (with a particular interest in boobs). There is a particular one who says that it's not possible for a man to like another man.

30 minutes ago, Heir2012 said:

Please don't view any of this as sexist.

No it's not. Especially when it comes to a patient reaching out for a doctor, he should fine the one he thinks most appropriate. A large part of medicine is the connection between the doctor and the patient (in older books I have found it referred as the therapeutic alliance)

Happy new year to everyone

my all times goal remain to continue loving and be loved

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

i was raised in a religious culture, and i also went deeply into religion for a long time.  i think American culture has a lot of overt and subtle religious influence. i'm guessing the same is true in Your country (Greece?), though it seems You were able to get free of much of that influence at a younger age than i did, and come to a place of self acceptance.

Well in Greece things were always weird with religion. A bit of a long story but even though in terms of law government and church are separate entities, in practice they are not. We've seen many times priests blessing with holy water sterile equipment in ICU during the pandemic, we've seen priests talking against gay people and even saying they will ban from the church (maybe the word is aphorized if i use the greek one with a bit of imagination) whoever votes in favor of some laws that support gay people. But in our capital (more than half of our population) you will not have to marry for religious reasons

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

The healthcare system in the US is broken. i work with amazing, caring people. i love working in a teaching hospital, the doctors i work with are beautiful people and we all get along very well. The policies of the healthcare system make the job very difficult and exhausting. Also, shortages of healthcare workers mean we are often functioning in triage mode, which can get tiring very fast.  i am "happy," though i (and anyone in this profession i think) have to develop and maintain coping skills to keep going. 

I've heard terrible stories about people adjusting their insulin dose because they can't afford the needed quantities, is this true? 

In Greece things are broken in the healthcare section for other reasons. We have public hospitals where every citizen can receive the help he needs (and even expensive drugs such as antiviral drugs for HIV/HBC/HCV etc). BUT.. we have many shortages in stuff because nobody actually hires. We have people migrate to find better salaries and work environments. There can be patients not in beds but in portable beds outside the rooms because clinics can be too full. I could be going on and on forever about this.

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

but cannot imagine being a maternity nurse or midwife.  i think we probably agree that a woman has some advantages to working with women because they have the same equipment and can better relate to how it feels and works

when I had gynecology I was like oh my, this is how this system works? I feel lucky to be a man.

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

I've had both male and female patients with altered mental status who pulled their catheter out.

two days ago there was an old guy who had tremor and a bit of dementia. He would grab anything. My stethoscope, my arm, the sphigmomanometer and any catheter.

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

A part of me wishes You want to be a hospitalist instead of anesthesiologist,  think people would benefit from Your caring attitude, Your desire to understand and relate.

thanks for that. but doesn't hospitalist means someone who works inside the hospital and not in private practice? Cause anesthesiologists almost excusively work in hospitals. I think it's easy to care and it doesn't take time to just cover with a blanket a patient who complains instead of getting to the other doctors and complain altogether about the complaining patient.

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

i'd like to have the added education and understanding of diagnosis, but also like being with the patient for 12 hours vs 15 minutes.  

I didn't know that doctors spend considerably less time with the patient compared to the nurse. But now I see how this happens. I get you on wanting to have that knowledge. My first degree was in dentistry and my desire was medicine so I did medicine after dental school just for that.

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

withdraw from alcohol, and we end up having to treat that as well

Also true. But some people don't even realize their addiction. Plus, I'm not a drinker myself so even a glass of wine surpasses my semester intake.

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

 i find the people who are as you describe, gossips or religious in a way that judges, do not last very long in our setting.

Unfortunately in my hospital they last. And they make us acclimated with the toxic behavior. And another unique thing. Nurses here don't feel like drawing blood. We tend to do it. Or even medical students. We have even some not measuring pressure because it's a doctor's thing. lmao