Sharp-edge

I'm always curious about the dynamics of love and whether they are or not bound to the limitations of one's gender and his orientation. These days I found myself with a couple of guys that we're being trained together. I knew that guy for a couple of years, we had been out together (along with others) but we were never friends. I just thought he was a nice guy to hang out. It's been some days now. We spent some hours together the past days. He's an interesting guy. He's smart (that's a quality I much admire yet rarely see) and he takes good care of himself. The later, somehow attracts me. I will always dress casually with a T-shirt. He's always more formal. I'm sure he flosses every night, his nails are always cut. He is lean and rather tall and he studies hard. I believe there are endless boxes in his mind in which he "places" things. We always had chemistry which I found peculiar. We're an abyss apart (I'm hairy, more muscled, I have a small beard, I tend to be more informal and don't like formalities).

Anyway, a couple of days ago we were talking and because someone said something he asked me if I play on my console (i bought an XBOX last year and thing is he remembered that one year later!). he said that he would so want to play (but he didn't quite mean he would come to my place, it's one of the things you just say). But.. I messaged him later and invited him. He came and he was formally dressed and had bought me some candies (that's so formal in my country at least). It's kinda odd because when you go to a friend/colleague or whatever you're supposed to be chill. But in the end we had lots of fun. He even messaged me to thank me. He invited me to his house which was more fun that I thought it would be. After some time he felt like talking and said he feels stressed etc etc and asked me how do I manage to do all the things that I do and still smiling. I told him my "moto" and he smiled back. He said some more things and I decided to hug him. It's not that easy. I always fear when I hug someone he will think I'm hitting on him. Interestingly, instead of doing it and move on he just put his head towards my chest somehow and stayed there. I was confused and all. I felt strange and my heart beat fast. He said if it's okay I told him yeah cool. We stayed like that for several minutes. I asked him if he wanted to watch a Netflix series together (Lockwood & Co which I loved btw) he said yes. We watched it together hugged. We watched another episode yesterday and we will see the rest. He said on his own that he's not gay or hitting on me he just needed a hug and he needed some emotional support? We still are on this hugging connection and I feel confused. Could it be just that? Someone who needs love, but not  sexual love?

So there was a guy whom  I found hot. He was someone from my training (around 40yo, a handsome man). We were kinda close. I got excited with his class. Actually, it's not exactly a class he works in a particular department of the hospital and  I was "given a patient" to  present his case. But his case was really complex (and  incurable as it seems) an because it's holidays I had lots of free time so I spent some of it with that team. I did some shifts and it was really interesting. It happened that 3-4 shifts were with him. We ended up in his office talking, he asked  me what specialty I'm interested in and he talked about his and his job. I don't know how  that  crucial  step   was  taken (maybe a mix of Christmas cheerfulness, being it night, a bit of horniness?) but it was taken. He complained of being tired and I just started to massaged him he didn't quite  resist. He blushed though in the beginning but he liked it. The following day he brought me a chocolate (which was cute; he had heard me telling that I really like a particular type of chocolate). I told my bf that, he didn't get mad. He said that we're almost 10years together and if it could happen only once as a kind of "Christmas gift" he would be cool with that.

Three days later we didn't do anything similar (we were not on our own). But on the next shft we ended up again with me massaging him. He's a married guy with two kids. I  was very horny at the time but I was also a bit happy. I felt like I was making him feel nice and that feeling was returning back. I  ended  up touching him and  he blushed. He told me that he had never had that with a man and after a short laugh he said that he was too busy with anything and he needed sex. So anyways I sucked him, he came into my mouth (although he "warned" me that he's gettiing close). We haven't done anything after that (it happened the day before yesterday). I told my bf he is still not angry and we had  some nice sex. I still feel confused though if that was right despite my bf's approval. I'm not sure if one time was enough and I'm not sure if that was morally okay. I just relieved my horniness with a consenting adult, can't it be as simple as that in my mind?

46 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

Rape isn't about sex. It's a crime of violence. Calling rape a "sex crime" is like calling someone who assaults you with a shovel a "yard tool crime" - the point is the violence, not the means chosen.

Now, the sex part is relevant, in that it's designed to humiliate, and to control a very intimate aspect of the victim's life. But again, it's not about "sex" or "sexual orientation" (gay vs straight).

Straight people can be raped; gay people can be raped; bi people can be raped; asexual people can be raped; pansexual people can be raped. It's completely off-track to wonder about the orientation of the victim or the perpetrators (with the sole exception of when and if the victim was chosen specifically because of his/her orientation). And idiots wondering whether he was gay or not doesn't do anything to help him. 

You're right about that, it's a form of violence. But it was a very complex crime in my eyes. It was meant to cause harm both mentally and physically. That's what makes it special (in a negative way of course). I'm just trying to decipher their "motives". And I hope he will find the help he needs. I feel very sad about that guy. I don't pity him, that's the worst of emotions. Wish he could be helped someone, that there was something to be done. I'm afraid there isn't.

I am most shocked after this

[think before following links] https://greekcitytimes.com/2022/12/23/greece-charged-classmate/

where it is reported that several (5-8 adolescents) raped one of their classmates (a boy). I still can't believe that size of cruelty. I mean why? I try to figure. I'm afraid that this is the case of domination. That boy was raped  so as to be "broken". I don't  believe these guys were gay. What am I trying to say? That not only did they rape him but possibly they want to make him pay for something? Like if they thought he was "a faggot" that's how faggots should be treated? Of course raping is one of the worst crimes but I believe it's more than just rape. It's pure malice. I can't put it into words. And regarding that boy, I don't know which is worse. Having everyone (because everybody in his school will know) know that he is raped? Stupid people believing that since he was raped he is not a man? or if he was gay, could that make him feel that he deserved it? Will there ever be something to soothe his soul?

And regarding the other guys,  now what? They will  get in prison so these will get raped too? That's our answer? Let's do more rapes? And when they get out of jail, after all the torment they will pass during jail, won't they be even worse?

I don't know how I feel about this. I'm just  sad and angry. Why did they chose to hurt him? Why did nobody stand up for him? I've heard in the news that 4 girls were also watching. These girls that failed to report this  should be treated as equally guilty.

I never had any problem accepting FTM guys. On the other hand, I don't think anybody needs anyone's acceptance. I find FTM really hot, I'd live to have sex with a guy with a pussy. There's an FTM porn star called Chance Hart that makes my dick rock hard.

Some of you may remember other posts of mine that I comment other medical  specialties that I face during my training. Now it's the time for psychiatry. It's easier to post here. I can post my thoughts without worries. I never think bad of someone, but people tend to misunderstand.

We had 2 patients. Both of them were men and the one guy was rather hot. He was a footballer. He suffers from mania. When he's depressed he's still he looks calm. When he gets in the pase of mania he brings havoc. I worried about his mother, I think that he could easily hurt her during that phase. I was thinking would he ever get better?

The second one was a boy (he was somehwere 18 but he looked "boyish"). He was sleeping with his father every night, in the same bed. I don't know if I'm brainwashed by all these daddy-son-uncle-whatever porn but I thouht something sexual was going on. My second thought was that his father was abusing me. But I think because I'm gay I tend to reflect that that would happen to them. He was so afraid. We got to listen that he has terrible hallucinations about someone putting blades on his neck and that only when he father hugs him these thoughts go away. I just wanted to hug him tight when I heard these. I don't think I would ever make a good psychiatrist because I would get emotional, especially with guys. But I'm glad I'm having this training. All I did afterwards was to hug my boyfriend because I know he was traumatised by something that involved his father so all that made me think of him.

Most people are turned on in the idea of a younger guy (son) getting fucked by an older one (daddy). Based on one preferences, some consider an ideal daddy as lean, with some muscles while others may want someone more of a bear or whatever. But not their own dad. Because it's their dad and they can't see him like that, maybe because it doesn't work like that or simply because their father is not attractive. Porn makes it easier making such couples and the word daddy has been heavily abused. I've been called a couple of times daddy when I was 27 from 20yo guys. Bcz in their mind daddy = something that when said it is arousing for an incomprehensible reason.

If I were to believe all these stories here, it would seem that most daddies spent their time fucking their sons.

18 hours ago, hntnhole said:

So much for astrology. 

And, I doubt she "made" you believe x, y, or z.  It's more likely you allowed her to believe she did.  Whether or not you actually believed whatever isn't the issue, the issue is, you (perhaps out of a generosity-of-heart) allowed her to think you believed the astrology thing.  A sense of empathy on your part would allow that, wouldn't it?  More, suppressing one's own emotions in favor of upholding others that seem to need support is a part of being empathetic. 

I still think you're a caring kind of guy, and the world needs more men just like you. 

You're probably right. I valued her high but she had mostly bad things to tell. She was a bit of what we called toxic. However all her comments made me consider and re-consider things. I learned to have faith in myself and not accept what other say as always true.

I really enjoy caring about others. I think love in general is the most natural thing to feel.  But many people turn to be selfish and ruin the whole thing. I have to admit though that I am more sensitive about guys. Maybe because I'm gay, or maybe because our society revolves aorund women.

8 hours ago, hntnhole said:

Sharp-edge, you're probably a rather empathetic guy, and other folks can sense that.  That's a wonderful quality to possess, and the above responses are good ones.  Not everyone can project empathy, don't feel odd that your friend knew where he could turn in a time of trouble.  Unless he asks you to comment on whatever the issue is, all you really need to do is "be there" for him - and you've already done that.  If he needs more, you'll know it.  If he doesn't, you were there when he needed someone to lean on, so either way you don't need to press.  Just be there if he needs more, as you initially were. 

Let that ball stay in his court until he tosses it into yours again.  

Empathy is a nice word. I had a friend at high school who was crazy about astrology and she told me once "oh you don't have any planets on water-based star signs that's why you have zero empathy". She made me believe that I just can't understand other people's emotions (silly me) so for the following few years I was thinking that I can't and I was trying to get used to it. But I think that I really can understand how someone feels. I do have trouble expressing my own feelings though, I keep them inside.

I do know for sure though that being positive bring backs positive things. Sure there will be tough times, I had mine. When I lost my father people were there for me, I felt that they loved me and that made me stronger. In return I help when it is needed, I'm not the bitter guy.

I will give add some linguistic info as always

empathy is a greek word. But many (foolish) greeks use it wrong. Empathy = En + Pathos (Pathos= Passion), so it means having passion

In greek empathy means literally passionate about someone but in a negative manner. Passion means disease in greek (consider the word pathology). So it means have a grudge against someone. The word that means what an english speaker means saying empathy is "ensynesthisi" (to feel one's emotion). I know it's irrelevant, but wanted to share.

10 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Yes, you let him cry. You listen to whatever he needs to say, without judgment. If he seems to need a hug, you give him one.

In Western societies, men tend to be taught that emotion equates to weakness, and vulnerability, especially around other men. This is, of course, nonsense, but it makes it difficult to process certain emotional states in a healthy manner.

The fact that he reached out to you to communicate this issue this way indicates two things: 1) That the issue is serious and distressing enough to him that the need to express his emotions about it has overcome his conditioned reluctance; and 2) That he has developed enough familiarity and trust in you to expose his vulnerability to you.

This does not mean his problem is for you to fix. It simply means that everyone needs a shoulder to lean on at some point, and not everyone has access to one. Perhaps he does not, and you, casual acquaintance as you are, may be the closest thing he has.

 I would suggest that you simply listen. Do not advise unless asked, but ask questions that lead him to expand on how he feels, in order to help him sort out his emotional disarray on his own. Be supportive, and be kind.

He didn't cry that much because we weren't in the best possible for that but surely it released some of his tension. There was nothing to judge about, I just hope it will turn out well. I think you are right about both 1 and 2 and that both apply in my case. But he could go all alone if he just wanted to cry. As I recall the incident he did try to make an intro or something but only crying came out. We have a very good relationship, I hope he trusts me. He' higher in the "hierarchy" than me but he always made me feel comfortable around him and he respects me. That's the foundation of our good relationship. I do believe he likes to be the strong one, the been there done that type but seasons change, now he needs to be helped and that's absolutely understandable. He didn't tell me the classic "don't tell anyone" but I think that that goes without saying. He also bought me a cookie that he knows I love and wrote thanks in the packaging which I found very cute.

Wish I could advise him, but it's not a matter of good or bad advice. He just someone to be there for him.

I'd really want to discuss that with my boyfriend but he can't. He's jealous of everything so he will say things that will make me angry.

So.. there's a colleague, older than me (around 40) that I really love. Not sexually, I just love him as a "friend". I use the "" because we won't really hang out but I trust him, I care about him, we talk a lot, we laugh together. We have spent endless shifts together and you can really tell when someone is just doing his jobs and when someone is doing his job and at the same time helping and caring for you. There are some days now that he looks sad. I kept on asking him if he's okay and he would say that yeah everything's cool. I didn't think that I was somehow pushing him to tell something, I was just asking because I worried. And today, he asked me to go a small walk (there's a park/small forest in the hospital) and get something to eat while we walk. When we made some steps away from other people and I was just "oh let's eat I'm hungry" he just bursted into tears. He told me what was going on which was bad (but I think it can be fixed) and we hugged very tight. I felt my heart beating fast, not from being horny or something but somehow me watching him crying "frightened" me. I always have a heartbeat when someone cries and I try to help it's a red flag for me. I believe the fact that I'm gay kinda helped because from my experience most straight guys won't bother about how an other man feels. I just feel weird know. I keep on thinking that he's crying and I worry. I'm not at all used to a guy crying. I really don't know how to help when a friend cries.  Just let him cry his heart out? Hug him? Be there for him? It's still a shock for me. He was a kind of mentor for me. Always brave, always guiding me. And now he cried. My image of him being fearless just shattered. But that's good. I came closer to him. I just want him to be happy though, not cry.

I always thought that the purpose of each person was to find his other half. For me being in love gives time to one's soul to bind with the other's. So when you will no longer be in love, if things turn out well you will love the other person. My bf, I love him. I'm always happy when I look at his face. I worry if he is okay. Sleeping with him feels like home. However, after 7 (maybe 8 years?) being together we still fuck each other like rabbits. When I find that someone else is hot, I may think that I want to fuck him or flirt him but I wouldn't consider breaking up so as to be with that other guy. My heart is set. If I ever lose him, it will leave a scar, maybe I wouldn't like anybody else.

Plus, a small question.

I always had a feeling that in english the word love is a little weird. A mother loves her child, two bfs love each other and then we have the "being in love".

In greek we have "Eros" which means being in love, it's always erotic, it won't be used for relatives etc

We also have "agapi" which is just love (such us mother-child). Is there a commonly used verb that means in love but without using the same verb as love? 

As its name suggests, PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) is prostate specific! So it will increase in most prostate pathologies that include but are not limited to cancer. Even pulpating the prostate can increase its serum levels. Low PSA levels also don't exclude the possibility of prostate cancer.

About examining prostates, I just want to make it as comfortable as possible. Especially for old str8 guys that can be super disturbing.

I checked a patient (it was my first time to do that) for prostate hyperplasia. Nothing too scientific about it, you just put your index finger (with a glove of course) and you pulpate his prostate. You try to feel whether it's enlarged or hard (it should be kinda soft). Based on the instructor's instructions (that sounds weird) you put your finger looking away from the prostate and then you rotate it while you're inside because that way it is more convenient from the patient. Plus, you use a lube that contains lidocaine so as to be even more comfortable.

As a gay guy who is versatile, my fingers have examined such areas lots of times so it was "natural". What was weird is that I did it as a professional so I felt shy/weird about it. Plus I think because most doctors tend to be straight (I wouldn't believe that urologists are 50-50) maybe the think that having a finger (half its length) in your anus must be super painful, but really it's not.

Another thing is that I could check my bf's prostate which I find be to be caring. Have u ever had that exam performed on u? What where your feelings? Was it  awkward? 

14 hours ago, ErosWired said:

bullshit it’s not personal. It became personal the minute she started calling you sick and worse, especially behind your back. But maybe she means it isn’t personal because you’re not the only one she has it in for. If she’s telling you to forget about your contract, how is she grading the gay students in her classes?

Does this university by chance have a student-run newspaper? She might find it very uncomfortable to suddenly find herself being asked to speak on the record about her views about homosexuality, or if she has the gall to air her bigotry in the open, she might discover the power of the press.

 

It's not personal, she hates all gays equally. Sad though that all these years around me didn't help her reconsider. I can perfectly understand disliking something unknown or strange maybe the stereotypes have had their part. But having a gay colleague with whom u had a really good professional relationship and treating him like that? She's hopeless. Plus, I know from my experience that many researchers are gays at least in biology. For me it's 60% girls, 30% gay guys and straights are hard to find. We don't have a newspaper but we have the student's union which is strong. I also consulted an organisation about gay rights and they said they can legally support me if needed. I also found a second guy, former researcher who told me he received a similar behaviour and he's more than willing to see her face the consequences.

I also had a small act of support. The lab stuff (basically the master and phd student) printed a sheet and post it in our news board (the physical one not somewhere online)

[think before following links] https://prattlab.chem.lsa.umich.edu/img/DEI Poster.jpg

which is very kind and I appreciated it.

I really thank you for all your comments, your support means a lot. My ginger feels sad, like he's to blame (but of course he's not). He thinks I shouldn't have introduced me and I shouldn't be pushing things further than that. But I don't blame him, it's the society that makes him (and many of us) feel that way (that you're not very normal and as such offensive behaviours are tolerated). But seasons change and we stayed far too long in the darkness. I have no issue of accepting my sexuality. I'm a left hander, the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I live in a world made for right handers and I try to survive all these right-oriented objects that affect my life. Everyone is just saying that it's strange that I use my left hand. But I was always thinking they're stupid, we have two hands that are mirror images of each other, I use the left. Is this so serious? So that made me think later that I'm also different in sexual preferences. People can't get that i'm lefty, maybe asking them to comprehend my orientation is too much.

Why am I saying this? Because what I believe (that gays are just gays, not sick people or anything) and for all the people who get bullied someone needs to make a start. So yeah, I'm gonna push things further, until I set things right. She can believe whatever she works but her actions are subject to law and my rights are legally protected. I started making some contacts and I believe a kind of report will be filled tomorrow or the day after that. I've also been advised to have a lawyer. I will keep u posted guys

I'm working in a university as a researcher. That means I'm by no means permanent, I have a contract that expires every year and is renewed. I'm semi-closeted if this term exists. This means I won't say hey dudes I'm gay! but if you ask me maybe I will say I'm gay and I have a bf. However I have not said any of these at my work until very recently. Something inside me said "enough" so in an event I brought my bf and introduced him. Thankfully all my colleagues were very excited and were happy to meet him. All but one, the professor. She said that I'm embarassing the laboratory (but really there is nothing embarassing, even if being str8 looking matters, we are both like that).

She called us [banned word] behind our backs and another word (that if I were to translate it precisely it would be the one who survived an abortion). I didn't know but she has a thing against gay people. I just feel unwanted since then and my job at jeopardy. I'm not sure if I care about that, I don't want to work for people that I don't appreciate but I won't just observe her fire me for being gay.

I told her that I know all that and I feel deeply offended and that after 7 years of collab I hoped better than that. She told me it's not personal and she just consider us to be sick (irony: she's a biology professor) and she mostly pities than hates us. I told her that she should pity her students who have her as a professor and that she spreads discrimination in an academic environment. She told me we better stop our collab and not to renew my contract. I just feel angry and sad. I wanna do something about it

Seth Green but a bit younger (he looks too old for his age now) but somewhere around the Scooby Doo era oh man I'd marry him

So, we tend to focus on how the top wiill cum and make a guy a cumdump etc etc..but what about the bottom's orgasm? I mean for a handsfree cum just from the anal penetration. Why is it such a rare incidence I wonder? My guy tends to precum and be hard while I fuck him but he won't cum handsfree.

Most people would say about these guys (the neg btm going raw) that they should come to their senses. But I believe it's their nature calling. It is risky (STIs) but something inside is scratching them to try it.

I had some transparent drops come out of my dick at 12. I was kinda scared I told my father and he bursted into laughter and he told me not to worry about this.

Does any of you has a strong preference for hair color? I have a thing for ginger. When I was a kid I was watching a kid show (lmao) about a football team (more like a football drama). I was too young to feel attraction obviously but I really liked a character there. Recently I felt nostalgic and looked back at the show. That guy was ginger. That made me thing that although I was little my mind was set up about what I like. Somehow red hair tickled my curiosity or something. I always wanted to have a bf that was ginger. And my bf is indeed ginger. Looking his hair and his short beard stuns me. We're for almost 10y together and I still can't get enough of his gingerness. Quite recently I read a tiny poem on a King's novel

'your hair is winter fire,

january embers.

my heart burns there too

a little weird but it touched me. Does anyone else has a thing for a particular color?

4 minutes ago, BlindRawFucker1 said:

Males are very visually oriented when it comes to sex.  Studies show that gay males are even more hypervisual.

 

As a blind guy, I, of course, can’t rely on my vision.  So, I have to use my other senses to enjoy the pleasures.

 

Certain voices and the sounds of sex are real turn-ons.  Of course, so is touching and the scents and tastes of men and sex.

 

I still miss out on a lot since I can’t see.  There are many things I’d like to do, such as touching and tasting guys as they fuck.

 

I want to know, what is your favorite sense to use other than your vision.  I don’t want to hear how good it feels to be fucked or to fuck—that’s obvious.

 

I hope you all understand what exactly I’m asking.  My questions often sound better in my head than written here.

 

Thanks for any input.

That is a very interesting topic. May I ask if you were born blind or was it something that occurred later on your life? 

Hyper-visual sounds quite interesting as a term. I think I understand it though. Seeing a guy that I like gives me a rush, makes my heart beat faster. For me scent would be my choice. It is one of the most potent stimulators of memory. When I get to know of someone I always notice his scent. Like being in a place and knowing "oh yes it smells like him, he was here before". But that's about the emotional/sexual part. Someone found it odd, but I was given an object to observe (a medical tool) and the first thing I did was to smell it so as to understand its material.

In general, hearing is precious for me. You can communicate with the outside world, you can get to hear the music.

I hope it's not too out of topic but:

I have a friend who is blind (there was something romantic/sexual between us) but we are caring friends now. He uses his hands a lot to feel surfaces so I think that touching is his things. So I made a funny thought that he acts like bats and that his fingers have supersonics. I was thinking whether this was a rude thought or not. I shared it with him and he laughed. I call him my little bat but I still worry that this could be rude (but i have no such intention).

Same substances have different effects between different people. Some people feel a rush, their face may flush, some can even get blue lips if they inhale too much. For others  it's headache in a bottle. Some people get the so called popper dick and others (fewer) like to fuck and take hits. Plus, poppers are a variety of substances, each one differs. If you wanna get looser you must be into it, you need to relax and the top needs to relax you too. Poppers are the cherry on the top. It's not a pill that you take and voila problem solved.

7 hours ago, backdoorjimmy said:

I had something similar going on with my ex-boyfriend's dad. I was 18 and it was my very first real relationship. I was deeply in love with my ex, but when I watched him interact with his dad it gave me heat flashes. His dad was overly affectionate, as is constant kisses on the cheek, shoulder rubbing, cuddling, etc. One time I showed up at his house and he was in the kitchen "helping" his dad make dinner; i.e. he was sitting on the counter with a glass of chocolate milk, swinging his legs back and forth while his dad did all the work. It made me crave his father more than anything. My ass would constantly shiver because I was insanely horny for him.

But I never acted on it -

1. Because I knew it would ruin my relationship with my then bf and leave him devastated.
2. Because even if his dad was gay or bi and went for it, it would ruin their relationship, too, and leave them both devastated.

Having said that, maybe you can be a brother figure to him and help him sort his wiring out. If your boyfriend isn't willing or in a position to do that, I'm sure he'd be open to a dynamic like that with you.

I totally understand. I know that it's a dangerous situation that could ruin both relationships. Sometimes I'm a bit of angry with my bf. It's like he does not care about his brother.  He's 25yo and he has never met any of his bf/gf. They live in the same house and he has never bothered to ask. I've told him that maybe he's gay but still he doesn't care. A sincere conversation would help, maybe there's something he wants to share.